So I was out and about yesterday and really fancied a cup of tea. S'ok, I thought, I'll swing into the Maccy D's drive-thru on the way home and get one, and possibly a cheeky cheeseburger too. Just to keep me going til dinner, like...
So I gets to the order point and I places my order; "Cup o tea and a cheeseburger please luv." "That'll be £1.98 please, sir."
I gets to the first window and I pays the lady 2 quid, and she gives me 2p change. So far so good.
When I gets to the second window however, the dude has a cupholder with 2 cups on it, ready and waiting for me. That's efficient, I thought. Efficient, but wrong. And upon inspection, it turned out that neither of them contained tea, both were coffee. I don't like coffee, me.
I was just about to raise this issue with the young gentleman when he thrust a rather large brown paper bag in my direction. I took the bag. Felt awfully 'weighty' for a cheeseburger.
Now at this point any decent person would point out that they do, in fact, seem to have the wrong order, and all you wanted was a cup of tea and a cheeseburger... but it was too late, my inner opportunist had kicked in.
There was only one thing to do - act like everything is in order, roll up the window and casually but quickly get the hell outta there.
I darted round to the Sainsbury's car park next door, found a little quiet corner away from the crowds and, like a kid opening a Christmas present, I opened the bag to examine the booty.
A Big Mac meal, a McChicken Sandwich meal and an apple pie
What a result!
Yup, aside from a few of the chips, I ate the lot.
But the story didn't end there...
See, despite this bountiful haul, I still didn't have my cup of tea, which is what I went for in the first place. Just 2 cups of coffee that I didn't want. Luckily, the 2 stickers off the coffee cups gave me enough to complete my Maccy D's loyalty card, so 15 minutes later I went back and got a free cup anyway (this time going into the restaurant rather than the drive-thru, so as not to get rumbled by the drive-thru staff. Shady b*stard I am).
Days like this are a gift. We should embrace them graciously.