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Die Live - Germany June 2012 - Trip Reports


Staff member
Mysterious Sue said:
What the actual **** is that video!??!


I wanted to create an idealised community, not so much with surrealism, but with a 'hyper-realism'; a vision of contemporary mores is linked, somewhat incongruously, to a style of acting and static mise-en-scene which recall classic Hollywood melodrama and before that the exaggerated gestures of the Expressionist persona of silent film.

More so, contrasted extremes. In editing I wanted to show my love to juxtapose a sweeping wide angle with an extreme close-up.

I guess it would be more clearly defined if you examine that interior meaning is extrapolated from the tension between a my personality and my material. This conception of interior meaning comes close to what Astruc defines as mise-en- scene, but not quite. It is not quite the vision of the world a director projects nor quite his attitude to life. It is ambiguous, in any literary sense, because part of it is embedded in the stuff of cinema and cannot be rendered in non-cinematic terms.

I hope that helps clarify it for you Sue?

And yes :lol: :lol: :lol: - Snowman doing press ups with his metal knob. Superb :D

I think the Europa Park part may be tomorrow, hundreds and hundreds of photos.


Hyper Poster
I think Furie has covered most of the day at Holiday Park in a far more entertaining manner than I ever could, so again I'm just going to focus on what the park had to offer ride-wise.

The flume is good as far as log flumes go, with a good backwards drop (which unfortunately is all too visible from the path, and therefore doesn't really come as a surprise) and a big double drop to finish it off. It's a good flume by UK standards, but unfortunately we'd all just come from Tripsdrill which had a much better flume. Besides, it's hard to get excited about a log flume when there's one of the best steel coasters in the world just around the corner.

The corkscrew and wild mouse coasters are pretty much as expected, ie. meh and ouch respectively.

I'd never been on a star flyer before, as I missed out on the one at Hansa Park a few years back due to a head injury. Faced with this one, I decided I'd better man up and give it a go to see what all the fuss is about. Surprisingly enough, I didn't find it to be as terrifying as it looks, even when looking down and getting blown about a bit in the wind. I just experienced the same sense of unease I always get on screaming swings - that sense of "these seats with these restraints really shouldn't be doing this!". Worth a ride for the experience, but not something I'm in a rush to repeat any time soon.

The dark ride is just utterly, utterly vile. Skip it (unless you are in desperate need for a five minute snooze), use the time to re-ride EGF. You'll thank me for it.

The rapids are reasonable enough. Not all that wet, but a bit of fun regardless. There are definitely better out there, but you could do a lot worse.

I really couldn't be arsed with the drop tower. Been there, done similar (and bigger) ones, more interested in the big orange Intamin mega coaster just around the corner...

Evil Snowman is awesome. His boat ride, not so much. It lasts way too long, and gets in the way of re-rides on... hey, is anyone else starting to notice a slight trend here?

OK, so Expedition GeForce. Yes, it's amazing. Yes it's one of the best steel coasters on the planet. Yes it's straight up into my top 10. No, I don't think it's quite as good as Superman Ride of Steel (Bizarro).

Here's the thing. The drop is awesome. I prefer the twisted drop over that of pretty much every coaster I've ever been on. It's fast, smooth, intense and has some seriously crazy ejector at the back of the train. The rest of the layout is pretty good, with loads of great airtime hills throughout the layout.

Here's the problem - when it's wet and still warming up, it's exactly like Furie described it:

furie said:
I can't remember the exact layout, but it does the whole. Eject, eject, eject thing for a bit and then meanders... Eugh... It's a nice meander, a pleasant rollercoaster wander through the trees and woods to get back to... EJECT, EJECT, EJECT, **** ME SIDEWAYS WITH A GERSTLAUER! Brakes.
Fantastic ride in those conditions, just not quite top tier. When it's running like that, you tend not to notice the trims - the train doesn't gain speed through them, but it doesn't seem to slow down either. All is good.

Then it warms up.

furie said:
The slow meander is now a superbly paced and thrilling duck and dive through the trees. The ride doesn't give up at any point. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It hits you again and again with something.
You fly over the first bunny hill. You fly over the second bunny hill. You're about to hit the left hand turn to take you paralel to the lift hill for the final couple of bunny hops and... you can feel the train drag. That last trim just knocked me out of that state of "whee, this is amazing" and into "oh, that was a shame". Don't get me wrong - the trim probably needs to be there. The last two hills along by the lift hill are amazing, and taken at a perfect speed. Maybe they'd have been better off with a slightly longer, gentler trim so that the effect wasn't quite as noticable, I don't know.

A good magnetic trim is one that you don't really notice. It slows the train very slightly or prevents it gaining speed, but you don't feel it. The other trims on the ride are like that. Silver Star's trims are like that. The final trim on EGF is like that when the ride isn't running quite so quickly. Once the ride gets properly warmed up though, it's almost like the drop on Th13teen (although nowhere near as bad) - you start to speed up, then you feel the train slow down and you feel yourself move forward in the seat ever so slightly. Superman Ride of Steel (Bizarro) never had that problem, and hence it just edges out what is otherwise an amazing ride.

Other than that, EGF is downright amazing. Don't get me wrong, I really am nitpicking here. This coaster really is so close to perfection in so many ways, it's a shame that such a small thing can colour an opinion of it. Still, wow. Can I go back? Even better, can I have one in the UK? Can I swap it for The Big One? Please?

Ah yes, photographs. They'd help, wouldn't they? I didn't take many at Holiday Park, but I do like the way some of them came out. https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set ... cf09213921


Staff member
Day 3/4 - Europe Park then and how on earth to tackle this beast?

We spent the two days there under the (sound) assumption that as a massive park, you'd need both days to appreciate it, especially if it was busy. The Monday wasn't too bad actually and we managed a very successful "credit run", which left us with plenty of time on both days for re-rides, front row rides and "the silly stuff".

I'll kind of dive in and out of discussing the days and reviews, mingling to two with whatever photos I have as best I can. I took photos all the time, so it's hard to piece something coherent together.

I'll start with a review of the park itself and then dive into our first day.

Europa Park
If you don't know, Europa Park is essentially owned by Mack rides and they use it to put in early or prototype ride types to show off to the industry. Not just rides though, but everything that they can do. So all the theming they can sell alongside rides and everything else. It's a showcase park built over many years and designed to impress.

It kind of does too, but it's very odd. It's built organically like Blackpool, with ride slotted in where they can fit, but at the same time they've tried to design distinct areas like Disney or Busch Gardens Williamsburg. The result is quite confused. It's really stunning and gorgeous at times, but also cramped and unpleasant. Tight paths wind in and around rides and themed areas and then suddenly you'll be on an open plaza. It's a mess, but a gorgeous mess...


Oh, sorry, wrong image... That's just a mess...


Here's the entrance area and as you can see, it's lovely. Whenever there is theming, it's of this quality. It really is nice and you can understand why other German parks have to make a real effort.

It's odd though, as you work through the park it suddenly becomes very open and bland. I think they opened up a lot of land and they've kind of dumped in big rides and just gone "bollocks to all this themed area malarky". Each ride is themed well individually, but the area is just big and open and a complete juxtaposition to the early part of the park. It leaves it feeling inconsistent, actually much like Busch Williamsburg only Busch is much better designed generally and Europa has more going on. Okay, it's the bastard love-child of Blackpool and BGW :)

You can see the difference here with streets full of this kind of thing

But then when you look to the far end of the park, it's... Well...

You can kind of see where the trees stop and then the flat bit takes over. Maybe over time they'll landscape it and create areas, but it seems doubtful.

So initially it's a mixed bag. You can't really complain about the park, but it's not gorgeous either (though it is in individual areas).

As far as operations go, it's stunning. Things just never seem to stop running. Queues are constantly moving and the rides (as far as we saw) were being cycled as fast as they possibly could. Obviously it's what you expect from a showcase park, but it really is a joy to watch them get all those trains out on Blue Fire.

Staff were all fine enough, though a bit, erm, Nazi about taking food into a half hour queue. Typically German though, which is fine :)

Lots of characters around at times too and shows on often. There always seemed to be somethnig going on, the park is lively and constantly interesting.

It's clear that Blackpool has taken a lot of influences from Europa, and any Blackpool fanboy would adore the park - seeing everything they have at Blackpool only done absolutely perfectly.

So overall, it's a good park. I can't quite see why everyone adores it quite so much as they do, but it's one of the best parks I've been to, certainly. It's the rides that are the real issue though and that's why we go to parks... So, read on...

As you can see from Wayne Rooney in his not-so-attractive-pac-a-mac, the first day started out wet, really wet. Holiday Park had been okay because it was never heavy rain, just odd showers an drizzle here and there. The sky over Europa though was hideous and the rain was really coming down. So we all bought ponchos (best 6€ ever spent eh? :p ) and headed in to the park proper.

The first coaster you meet is Silver Star. I think our initial plan was to hit the back of the park and work forwards, but Silver Star was pretty much queueless and it made sense to go on it.

It's an impressive looking ride, possibly more so than any other coaster I've seen.

I don't know why it looks so great, it just does. I loved the open, airy station as well. Okay it had cattle pens and the like, but this is how you make an indoor station (are you listening Drayton?)

Oh, here's me whittering on about stations and you want to find out about the over trimmed, dull as dishwater B&M hyper everyone loves to loath.

It's great. If you enjoy the B&M Hyper floater then you'll enjoy this ride. You don't really feel the trims kick in, and if you do it doesn't matter, it's still got that perfect "wheeeeeeeee float" over every hill. I can understand people being disappointed if they expected Intamin ejector, but the ride does exactly what it's meant to do. It's tall, it's fast and it's lovely to ride. The helix and turnaround as nicely forceful as well (not too harsh, but good).

It was great watching others ride it too (the other visitors, not us), they're so nervous and come off elated by the ride which is a sure sign of it's success.

It's a typical B&M then, and probably my favourite of the three I've been on, so an 8 or 9 /10.

Front row was really good too and cemented it. You really feel the speed and the floater is just as nice. It's a lovely ride. Nice! :)

On the way out I grabbed this photo. My German doesn't exist so I thought I'd take the shot and see if anyone here could translate it.


I'll leave it there for now and come back in another post in a while and cover a few more of the coasters.


Staff member
Refreshed after lunch and time to move on. Just 10 more rides to discuss and the time at the park too.

Let's get back into this with some... COLD. DEAD. EYES!

This time in the extensive queue for the wild mouse. I've done Mack Wild Mouse rides before, but this one is "different" so I had to go on it. The queue moved quickly (every queue in Europa Park moves quickly, it's like my bowels after ten pints of Guinness) and soon we were away from the CDE and onto the ride.

It's a shame you can see what happens and that I'm going to spoil it for you anyway (come on, it's a Wild Mouse, it's not like I'm telling you Dumbledore dies or anything).

You start off heading towards a closed door, which opens out to the crowded footpaths:

Then, OMG, it goes up vertically. It's shocking I know, but that's what happens. It goes upwards in a wobbly lift before letting you out on to a mediocre mouse ride.





It's completely underwhelming and doesn't have that neat little humpy bit the Gerstlauer Bobsleds have. It's pants.

So, it's currently a coaster rations of 1:1 good:bad.

We needed something better, so headed to the back of the park for the large wooden object that was the sole reason for coming here. We rode it, but I've got my photos out of order, so you'll have to wait for Wodan a little while. We have Blue Fire to discuss first...

The queue looked pretty short, and considering the speed of the queue lines (have I mentioned 12 times yet how quick they are? No? I'll work harder then) we hit the ride. It's really odd because the queue starts in a huge, well, gas advert. It's a massive building that is like a display from some kind of expo with 360 degree cinema screens, games and all weird and wonderful stuff. It's also deliciously curtain walled [/cladding goon]. There's also an announcement that goes on about something like "there's a build up of dangerous gas that may explode - something something fart!" which is mildly amusing :p

Blue Fire
I wont lie, there is nothing to this ride that enamoured me towards it. It got absolutely bummed by people I know who really love Europa Park (my opinion is up above, it's good, but not that good). It's a launch coaster too and it has inversions.

I was expecting Kanonen again with a weak launch and painful inversions. Or at best maybe a Speed Monster. Then I saw it and my heart sank even further.

The launch is slow... Well, it seems slow and it's quiet due to being LIM/LSM. So it's not like standing next to an Intamin Rocket where you hear the violence of the launch and get that rush of air as it passes by. It's incredibly understated and soft.

It enters the "hill-turn" and practically stops. It's slower than the Nemesis stall turn on the worst day ever. It crawls around the turn and then slowly drops into the layout.


So slow it's painful to watch, like an old granny crossing a busy road

It drops down then into the vertical loop... Slowly, pausing at the top and then down into I think an inline? A hill, MCBR, inversion, hill... Something like that but it does all in a real "plod". It slumps into the elements like a tired old basset hound laying down on a soft bed.

Excitement level is now 0/10. It's been over-hyped, it's not my ride type and it looks dire. Let's get the cred and get the hell out of dodge (hmmmm, deja vu anyone?).

There's a quick cattle pen inside and suddenly you're being ordered in angry German into a row. I was near the back. I have to mention here that it has the coolest automated bag drops. Wodan had them too and as a train comes in, it opens the correct bag drop of 3 for your train using computers and cleverness. I was much more excited about the bag drops than the coaster.

So, the ride itself...

Well, first you have to mention the seats/restraints. You hop into the seat and your feet hang off the floor. They're a deep bucket and really comfortable actually. The restraints come down and fit snuggly and comfortably against your upper thigh. They're jolly nice, even when stapled. There's then a sound track playing in speakers behind your ears. It's a good to start to a rubbish looking coaster.

Once locked in place, you get pushed around into a kind of gas/engineering workshop. Imagine the inside of Ian's gut only cleaner. Then, like Ian's gut, things go wrong and alarms go off and suddenly your thrust out of the anus and onto the ride proper.

It's not a good pre-show, but it's something to look at.

That slow, plodding launch is actually quite good. It's a bit like Velocity's at Flamingoland or maybe a R'nRC. You don't feel hammered as you do on an Intamin Rocket, but it's still got "oomph". It's quite pleasant actually, I like it.

You head up then into the drop-turn and yes, the train slows, but not as much as it seemed from the ground and... What? Ooooh, that's a good drop actually with a decent acceleration after just a tiny bit of floater. In fact, this restraint feels quite loose... Hmmmm...

Down to the vertical loop then and... G-Forces!!! Where the hell did they come from. That's proper high-g entering the loop and... hang... that slow loop drops you but there's no pain, it's not got OTSR so you dangle freely and happily and that restraint feels damn loose! Then down and some more high-g coming out of the loop.

I can't remember the layout, but every inversion, every drop, ever hill was fantastic fun. You're constantly floating really nicely out of your seat which gives a lot of room to move without ever feeling unsafe. I found myself laughing through the entire layout. Then the final inversion off the MCBR is fantastic too. It sets you up with a bit of floater and then hangs you out of the ride with the slow rotation.

The ride ends and you realise the ride doesn't plod. It's not slow. It's engineered to within an inch of its life to give the absolute perfect family fun ride. Yes, it's a family ride (1.3m height limit) and it does it better than any other family ride in the world anywhere. It outdoes the Intamin equivalents by several thousand to one. I mentioned Kanonen and Speed Monster above and they pale massively in comparison. Rita looks like a turd and Eurofighters/X-Cars are a hole in the ground compared to this high tech Japenese-like bathroom experience.

It's a good ride... No, it's a great ride. It's just constant fun from start to end. The seats, restraints, sound system and just everything is perfect for what it is.

It's not a massive thrill ride though, so don't expect that at all. What you get instead is one of the most fun and comfortable rides you'll ever go on in your life. It's one of those joyous rollercoaster moments that happen so rarely - that point that everyone fits so well and you're left with a big smile on your face.

9/10 and good:bad ratio of 2:1 for the park... That's going to change very soon and very rapidly as we head over to the Mine Train.

I'll mention at this point how much of a maze the park is. The paths split and converge and the sign posts a pretty vague about where you should go to next. There are "streets" that dead end and force you back on yourself - it's lovely but confounding at times. It's huge though and I think by the end of two days we'd just started to get the hang of it.

The Mine Train then was about right I guess. It was a decent length and went through a nasty smelling cavern (smelled of lemon grass/citronella) with some animatronic Svart Alfa type things. It kind of interacts with the log flume too which goes through the same caverns. I wonder where Alton got that idea from?


Mine! MINE! Mine!

It's just a simple Powered Mine Train though, it doesn't have anything shocking or exciting. I think the only stand out thing was the speed they dispatched (how many times now? ;) ). It was moving before either MouseAT or myself were seated properly and the ride ops just knocked the bars down as they passed the end of the station. No restraint checks here - Germany is the land of "if you fall out because you're pissing around it's not our fault. We do the minimum we have to to ensure safety but everything else is up to you".

So yeah, standard ride. Good:bad 2:2

A few of us went on Tirdler next... Yes, we giggled. We expected a Mack Flume to be really good, but like the Mine Train it was really bland.


Erm, like half of Alton's I suppose with the bit through the caves for some interest.

Svart Alfa

It's worth remembering we're still trying to do a credit run here. I think we'd managed (though I've not reviewed them all yet) Silver Star, Mouse, Wodan, Supersplash and the Mine Train and it wasn't even lunch yet. The next ride though looked a bit of a chore...


There's a huge space station above the queue, it's cool and then all that lovely mirrored glass. Wait, WTF is this ride???

The outside cattle pen moves quickly enough ( :p ), and you're inside on a rope delay (bloke with rope letting in groups) pretty soon. Then there's a bit of a queue inside for you to take pictures of ugly people

and then the next minute you're on...

WTF is this ride???

We know it's a cross between a spinning coaster and a wild mouse. It's oddly really cool. That lift hill though? THAT lift hill!

It's a spiral lift that turns you every so often as you go on an ascent of roughly 27 minutes. Suddenly you're coming up past the top of a rocket before eventually heading out around the glass faced towers to wild mouse (very slowly) around the tops of them. The cars turn every so often and after some slow mouse faff you do some drops and twists.

It's forceful in a couple of parts, but the highlight is the lift. It's weird, wacky and wonderful but the rest of the ride is piss-poor. It's a big fat gimmick and it doesn't work as a whole "experience" - 5/10

Good:bad 2:3

I need a coffee now and a break, so I'll post this and carry on when I've got my third wind :)


Staff member
Ahhhh... Hello caffeine buzz and hello light at the end of the tunnel. It's difficult writing these things, but it's good to found things in your own mind and settle your opinions and ideas. It's also good to relive things and for other people to hopefully take away a little bit of the way the trip went.

Also, splitting it up means there's less chance of breaking the CF template and losing everything ;)

So where was I? Ah, about to get a little more personal I think to be honest. This next post will have a bit more of "what we done" :)

Or rather one thing we didn't do... We didn't sign the cow!

We have no idea what signing the cow in the Bobsled station was all about, but we didn't partake. We could have asked nicely I suppose and been yelled at some thing like "OH YES PLEASE, WE LOVE PEOPLE TO SIGN OUR COW. IT'S A TRADITION WE ARE HAPPY FOR VISITORS TO PARTAKE IN. IT WOULD MAKE US SO HAPPY IF YOU COULD!". Which in German of course sounds like "you raped our children and killed all the cattle and now we shall impale you in the most unpleasant manner anyone could ever conceive of".

So no, we didn't sign the cow or ask about it.

We did go on the Bobsled though. I love Avalanche at Blackpool, it's one of my secret ride loves and I always try to ride it and always enjoy it. I was so disappointed by the dreadful one at Kings Dominion and hoped that here, the park that first made them, I'd get a good ride. It even has a straight drop and upwards bit that looks really cool (and I used to try and build RCT and always ended up launching the trains into space).

It's a load of bollocks*. Review over. Good:Bad 2:4

We've looped the park now and are really mopping up the credits. I think there was a general consensus that we'd get all the creds before stopping for lunch. So next up was Pegasus, a Mack kind of Rollerskater kiddie coaster. Meh, a cred's a cred ;)

Lots of in-jokes ahoy...

Cold. Dead. Eyes!

Cold. Dead. Eyes!

Just. Cold. And. Dead!

Cold. Dead. Eyes!

Ahhh, nonsense, how I missed thee.

Back to the coaster then. It's a Mack kind of Rollerskater ;) What are you expecting, another surprise like Blue Fire?

Good:Bad 2:5

We had to stop after this ever so exciting credit for people to vomit (I know, I don't get it either) before we moved onto the longest queue I think we had all the time we were at Europa Park -

It's a funny one (with the fast moving queue and all) that you can see the detail that almost went into the the queue. However, it somehow just falls short, it's really hard to explain.

It starts with a horses arse:

But as good as that is for taking photos of Mushroom with a horses arse, why not have the head facing the entrance?

The shipwreck too is cool, but the water too calm and false blue to conjure up images of a huge storm wrecking ships...

And while the statue had a cool talking floating head thing above it, it seemed a little gash somehow?

I guess that the biggest issue, other than should that bloke called Dave be allowed on...

Hmmmm... Would you let this man onto your ride?

Is that it all seemed to be a little out of place. Much like the big ugly coaster itself!

EUGH! It's not nice to look at, you have boats flying around in the air, it's just rubbish.

Though Jared told a massively funny joke about something...

Maybe about MouseAT's hideously deformed hand? I'm sure it made the burdenous queue seem like it was constantly moving though...

And then on and onto the ride through Perseus' broken sheild

Illuminating and illuminated - Lord Morton

The ride is pretty dreadful. The boat sections are fine, but coaster sections bash you around a far amount. It's just a bit dull though, why the coaster section other than "because we can"? I hate when the theme is completely lost due to huge bit so track unthemed in the air. I prefer the Supersplash model to be honest...

Good:Bad 2:6 - is anyone noticing what I'm doing here? ;)

I think it was around 2:00 p.m. now and everyone was flagging/passing out so we headed for food... There simply wasn't any other choice of place to eat for a bunch of coaster enthusiasts:

Darren B says that food tastes worse after being coastered (it was him vomiting after Pegasus ;) ), but I was willing to bet that all food and drink tastes much better after being delivered on a coaster, even Madame_Furie's Fish Pie (NO ,that is not a euphemism!).

The queue was long and the restaurant busy so we ended up split up but it was okay, we just wanted food...

Gavin was very concerned the Spaghetti Bolognese may be sold out

So, is food better served on a roller coaster? Why yes, yes it is :)

The system is excellent. You're seated at a round table with four sections, three or four seats per section. You get a card that you slot into a screen that can rotate between the people in your section. You put in your seat number and place your order. If you're really clever you put it into English first which would have made us ordering much quicker :p

The food then comes to you...

Well, kind of... It hits the table and then you rotate the top part of the table until it comes round to your position. The food has the seat number on it so you know if it's yours or not. You could be evil though and whisk away Mushroom's beer before he got it, not that we'd ever think of such a thing.

The "carriage" the food is in keeps on heading around the top of the table until it falls off into a special cloth bin. Staff come round constantly collecting the carriages.

Glasses, salt, pepper, etc are on a lower rotating section which is also where you put your finished stuff and staff rotate it around to collect it.

One seat has a fab loop for their food!

Okay, okay, okay. The food was mediocre and (mildly) expensive, but the experience made it well worth it. It was such fun watching all the food, and so exciting seeing your arrive and whizz around to you. Really fab and an absolute must do attraction at the park... No, it doesn't get added to the good:bad ratio :p

Clucking Bell!

I think I'm still only about halfway through everything here. This may have to wait until next week for me to get as far as Wodan :lol:

*That's why I spent so long going on about the cow.


Staff member

Never again will a double post image seem so inadequate...

I need to move on quickly... As quickly as a queue line at Europa Park... There's a word I'm looking for, a fast sounding word, speedy... It'll come to me in a minute, but in the mean time:


More very violent rapids, and these ones were pretty good. Lots of extra water drops, explosions, etc to get you wet. There were flame effects too around and about and they were genrally pretty good fun.


If either of you are looking for your virginity, I suspect it may be long gone...

Swiftly! That was the word, moving swiftly on to.... Horses arse!

I feel better now, invigorated!

And the last cred ( we got, not that I'm going to review - keep up)...

The golf ball ride... What on earth could it look like?

Aha! Got it!

It's a pretty standard twisting coaster, but with funky disco lights and pulsating music. It's fast, furious, forceful and actually really epic. The spiral lift hill goes on forever, but once it starts it's actually a superb little coaster. It's like everything The Black hole or Space Invader should have been.

8/10 Good:Bad - 3:6 - Hurray!

Before I finally get to Wodan, let's explore a few of the other little bits of the park. There's this fab looking ride we never wet on, because only a few like spin'n'spews and we were constantly moving

It's the kind or fire I usually adore though, round and round and up and down.

There was also a dodgem soccer competition that looked like good fun, but I needed a sit down and a recharge by this point. Everyone on the dodgems had a big grin though, so it's one of those "should do" attractions.

Wishful thinking show...

And a dreadful, really poor, Pirates ride. It's not quite as bad as Drayton's, but not good enough. So it failed by being too good to enjoy for being too bad. It had a section that went through a restaurant too and was so River Caves at Blackpool I felt my Lancashire accent coming back to me...

Can anyone else here smell fish?

And finally, I'm here. It feels like four hours ago I started this epic quest to bring you all a lovely trip report, which only had one coaster that you really cared about in it...


Pronounced Vo-Dan.

The coaster looks really impressive at the rear of the park:

With that fabulous hall of Asgard station building. You enter closer to Blue Fire though and the queueline (constantly moving) is a joy to behold.

It covers most of the nine worlds of Norse Mythology and follows the tale of Odin (Wodan) quite closely. I'm sure that in a review show in the near future, each specific area will be detailed carefully, but I'll go over things quickly here.

There is an extended queue and a shorter one. We did the extended one just once and it was about 45 minutes, but worth it for all the added extra theming... Well, almost worth it ;)

Part of the queue is based around Yggdrasil, the world tree:

And the greedy snake who want to eat it's roots and destroy the world.

Okay, but no tongues and are you sure you'll turn into a beautiful Prince?

There are fire guardians,

Hel herself, Svart Alfa Gods, the well of dreams (that Odin drank from to exchange his eye for eternal wisdom, the lands of fire and ice. It's all here and Ian can hardly contain his excitement!


The coaster itself really looks the business too. It's fast and flows around the queue in the most graceful way. Ducking, diving and flying by, it's fantastic.

I think I rode this three times, there was a Mara (huge, evil, ugly troll woman) barking at people to only go where she said. So I ended up with two back rows and once waited for the front (front row queue moves very quickly).

Back row, the ride is mediocre at best. It's fast and twisty but offers little to no airtime and no high g-forces, but it does it all very quickly. It's just no a great ride. I really can't find anything decent to say about it other than it's fast and smooth.

The front however is completely different. It's absolutely certainly mediocre from the front.The drop is better and there are some very tiny pops of airtime up there, but it's still pretty naff. If you like fast and twisting coasters then fine, but I like air from my wood.

The station statues are fab though and watch the train leaving the station and coming in :)

I'd be tempted to say spend the time in the queue and treat it as a walk through then skip the actual ride ;)

6/10 and Good:Bad 3:7 (oooh, one more to go, can good pull back? :p ).

And this is pretty much it then. Just the one last coaster and a bit of tidying up.

It's a mack Supersplash!

If you've been on one before, you may not have been on one that reversed you on the top section? It adds nothing to the ride which is simply a decent, fun, chute ride. It's not very wet so don't panic about a poncho. There's not much else to say about it really.

Good:Bad Ratio 3:8

And that's the biggest issue with the park. There's lots to do (I'll round this off with a few more photos) and the park is lovely in places, but when you look at it and go "11 coasters, WOW!" that's what the draw is, but the reality is disappointment. You get a handful of poor prototype coasters, some "meh" kid/water rides, a poor wooden coaster (which looks gorgeous) and then your three actually worth visiting for coasters. And yes, they really are worth visiting for. The park is good and you'll find it hard to be bored even over two quiet days (and over two quiet days you will just whore Silver Star and Blue Fire) which altogether makes it a park well worth visiting.

If I was to return, I doubt I'd do many of the coasters with an enthusiast group. I'd wouldn't even really soak up the atmosphere... Actually, as an enthusiast I'm in no hurry to return for those two rides that I enjoyed, I'd be in Holiday Park loving EGF, or Tripsdrill having fun or a chill.

I'd love to go to Europa with the family though. It's a perfect family park and a superb holiday destination if you've never been before. It's a park everyone should get to at least once just to make up their own minds. It's big, chock full but at the end of the day, not full of good stuff.


The splash battle looks really nice, love the boats


Darren B did actually love Silver Star... Maybe a little too much


The Eurosat dome dominates the skyline, but oddly is really hard to take phtos of...


Inside is a haunted mansion rip-off, like, proper rip-off in places. Some of it was really good, other bits pants


Sorry, I just loved the duck ramp :lol:


Ian adored Blue Fire

Horses Arse!

Lord Morton wouldn't don his armour, so Ian did instead

So that's it from me I think. Huge thanks to Ian for organising everything and doing all the driving. Huge thanks to Mushroom for sorting out the excellent accommodation near Europa Park. Huge thanks to everyone for all the companionship and giggles along the way and for all being such good sports in the banter and insults ;)

So, that's it from me, last post...


From CoasterForce
Staff member
Social Media Team
Excellent report, furie. You have the same conclusion as me regarding Euorpa Park.

Did you not get any photos of the greatest dark ride/walk-thru in the world?

Imagine the inside of Ian's gut only cleaner. Then, like Ian's gut, things go wrong and alarms go off and suddenly your thrust out of the anus and onto the ride proper.
"Ah, about time, Lord Morton or Burdenshire."
"You're calling me a burden for taking a photo? At least I wasn't taking a 20minute crap!"

I wouldn't rate Wodan as poor. Ok, so it's not brilliant and the best ride is in the front, contrary to most wooden coasters, but it's not terrible. In fact it's pretty mediocre imo...which sums up most of the rides at EP. Except Blue Fire, which is fantastic.


From CoasterForce
Staff member
Social Media Team
^ Not proud as such, just incredibly relieved. As I explained on the day, it wasn't pleasant and I was glad to have removed it from my system.

Anyway, perhaps it's bad timing when we're talking about bowel movements, but here are my Mammut POVs I filmed during the ERT.



FRONT SEAT 3D - Red & cyan/yellow/green glasses required.

REVERSE POINT OF VIEW - Red & cyan/yellow/green glasses required.

I have other videos (they're not as good) but 'll get them online soon :)


Strata Poster
Day 1 : Saturday : Erlebnispark* Tripsdrill

* - Google translate says “Amusement Park”

So after a layover in some random hotel in Germany part way between Toverland**
and Tripsdrill, I make my way to the entrance to meet up with the fellow geeks
for a few days...

** - to be continued elsewhere at some point


Mushy&Co were there a few minutes before me, and we didn't have to wait to long
for the other group to turn up and after a bit of faff we are off into the very
pleasant little park.


Can't really recall the exact order of what we did when, we started off on the
log themed drop ride though, which was at least a little different to the
normal drop ride.


Think we grabbed the zierer cred next and then made our way up to the back of
the park to have a looksee at the 2 bigger coasters...

Ian approves of the bobsled, random German chap with Andy is non commital;


I really liked the way they had linked up the bobsled coaster and the log flume
that sits beneath/around it. I do like it when people think about what they are
doing with their rides rather than just plonk them down in some space on their


The big woody might look somewhat plonked down, but it was rather well themed
and appears to have left some gaps in its structure for some future ride's


We faffed around the park for the afternoon then, which was very pleasant, if
a little lacking in “must do” stuff.

Worse splash battle evah;



Odd Xmas tree ride;


Which some of us rode;


and some of us did not;


Some bizzare themeing was to be found next to the Xmas tree ride. Bizzare as
it was a bloke on an outside loo, sound effects and references to scheisser all


Making our way back to the top of the park later in the afternoon, CF tried
to break the bridge again.


Which upset a local a bit and he had a bit of a shout, but what do you expect!


So as the park closed we hung around outside Mammut waiting for our special


While we waited I faffed about with my camera for a while;



I wasn't the only one though;


They let play on Mammut for quite a while, we bailed after ½ hour though since
we'd all had enough by then and Ian had managed to gaffa tape his junk to every
end of the train.


Nice enough ride, looks better than it is I guess. GREAT family woody, bit lame
for the enthusiast I think. Good start and drop (and nicely done pre lift bit),
the second half of the ride (from just before the on ride camera) is a bit slow
and meandering and the tunnel is rather a non-event since the ride is basically
over by then. (but don't get me wrong, for that park's audience, its GREAT).

Day over then, hour drive to the souless hotel, although the discovery of
vending machine beer was rather a highlight.

Horse's arse;



Strata Poster
Day 2 : Sunday : Holiday Park

Right then, when we convene for the rather lack lustre breakfast in the soulless
hotel in the industrial area of a bland German city, the weather is pigging
awful. Throwing in down big style. Don't mind admitting I was rather expecting
the whole day to be a wash out at this point.

Luckily it wasn't and by the time we arrive at Holiday Park the rain has eased
and the place is just rather damp.

We are all rather enlivened by the sight of GeForce running, so we all zoom
off to ride the monster (and frankly the only reason anyone is interested in
this park).


I'd been here back in 2006, so this wasn't new to me, but that matters not one
bit, this is a truly superb ride. We grab a couple of rides just to make sure
we have ticked the ride off before we set off to look around the rest of the

Log flume was ok, nowt special (certainly after Tripsdrill's flume of naked
women yesterday).

We tried to trick Phil into riding the Wirbel, but he wasn't fooled by our
attempts at describing it as different to Alton's old Corky (mind you some of
the group did seem genuinely convinced it was different; it isn't). Despite his
reluctance to ride the thing, he is still goony enough to want to take pictures
of it though*;


* - as am I;


After the Wirbel, the StarFlyer had started up, so most of us rode that (apart
from big girls blouse Darren) and then some of us lowered ourselves to the other
cred (which was new to me, so I did also indulge)


but it is just another mouse after all...


And we seemed more enthused by the “stick your head through a hole and look like
a goon” thing;


I was never confused


We grabbed the rapids and the drop ride in the rain (shame we couldn't ride the
side that overlooks GeForce as that is a nice view)


And then for some reason we thought it would be a good idea to ride GeForce in
the rain... well it was a good idea indeed as that was pretty painful in a
needles to the face sort of way. We did that a few times since there wasn't
anyone else stupid enough to want to ride it then so we just sat on the train
for a few cycles. Super stuff.

Running out of things to do, we had a go on the Condor for some up high spinny


and Ian wanted to get a twatcam view of the StarFlyer, so off he goes twatcam


(but I now see that he went hand-held rather than twatcam enabled, such a

While Ian was getting his hand held kicks, I wandered off around the lake a bit
to get some pics of the StarFlyer in action, if you look hard enough you might
be able to see our glorious leader on the ride?


(second in from the right!)

The view over the lake is rather nice though


So that was it from Holiday Park – good day, didn't take many pictures though,
probably because of the on/off rain all day.


We trekked down to Rust then, via rather burdenous German traffic jams and
roadworks on the autobahn and wandered out for some food in a local hostelry.

And we passed this shop in the town, which made us think of absent CF-ers.



Final shot of EGF: Mushy & Rebel are on the front row (@Mark - so you can click through to Flickr and grab a bigger image of this if you like!)



Staff member
Woohoo, there actually were more than three of us there then? :)

I had to take photos of rides I didn't ride, because I need to make park guides, so ner :p

Would you mind if I stole some of your photos too please? I was doing video too and failing at my "CF Job" :lol: occasionally.


Strata Poster
furie said:
Would you mind if I stole some of your photos too please?

Steal whatever ; those above are mostly resized to 600px, just let me know if you want bigger ones.

Thought I'd uploaded the pic from Tripsdrill of you giving that mouse/rat/whatever a blowie, but I haven't, so that'll have to wait...


From CoasterForce
Staff member
Social Media Team
david morton said:
Thought I'd uploaded the pic from Tripsdrill of you giving that mouse a blowie, but I haven't, so that'll have to wait...
When were furie and Andy alone?


Staff member
Ian said:
david morton said:
Thought I'd uploaded the pic from Tripsdrill of you giving that mouse a blowie, but I haven't, so that'll have to wait...
When were furie and Andy alone?

We shared the first hotel room (with the open shower) and invited Lord Morton in for some troilism.

Sir David, if you could let me have a link to the Super Gerbil image please? I missed it going through the corkscrew and couldn't wait for another train to cycle otherwise I'd have been accused of trying to get out of doing the Starflyer.


Staff member
I was actually just using it as an excuse to do rude finger signs to Mushroom ;)


From CoasterForce
Staff member
Social Media Team
Probably beacuse we had high expectations.

It doesn't really do anything. It didn't feel ferocious like a woodie of this size should do. It lacked airtime and head choppers. The speed was constant but just...meh...

If you go on this ride expecting it to be lame, then you'll probably love it.


Strata Poster
Day 3 : Monday : Europa Park

Day one of our two day trek in the Mack rides showroom floor. I'd been here
a few years ago, so I wasn't on a great credit run, but they had nicely built
2 new coasters since I visited and they both looked interesting to me, so
worth a trip!

Now I don't appear to have taken many pictures this first day (since I was
expecting lots of coastering and coming back the next day with a better camera) ;
so I'll just run through what I have (and I seem to have been a little eclectic
with what I chose to take a snap of too!)...

On the way in, can tell that the weather is a little wet first thing...


We wandered into the park and grabbed a quick go on Silver Star first up, it
would have been rude not to. Think it was enjoyed by everyone and a much nicer
ride than I remember from a few years back. Good stuff.

Wisely I think, we hit the wild mouse next up (low capacity) and to be fair
its not your typical mouse, having an elevator lift and a much more interesting
layout. Still, its a mouse though;


After that, I don't think we could contain ourselves and we felt that we should
rush on up to far end of the park to see the nice new wooden Wodan.

And very pretty it is too;




The queue line is rather excellent, tons of themeing and weird Norse stuff
going on, Phil tried to educate us all about Norse mythology, but mostly we
just ignored him,


More Norse monsters;


As for the ride, the consensus was that it wasn't great - probably more due
to high expectations? I liked the first half - great drop, few fast hills
and turns - the last bit kinda meanders a bit but its a solid GOOD ride, just
not a great one. Riding Troy a couple of days earlier maybe spoiled me a bit
but I did like Wodan in the end.

We must have rode Bluefire next, but for some odd reason I took no pics, never
mind I'll make up for that tomorrow I think. Really liked Bluefire, nice seats,
good layout, launch felt faster than it looked. Top ride I think.

Since it was already raining a bit, we tried the big splash ride but its really
not that splashy


But its gives eveyone an excuse to weird their ponchos I guess


Phil's happy... the chap in the row in front notsomuch.


We basically has a mad rush to get all the "creds" done ASAP (despite all knowing
that we had 2 days here), but when your on a roll, your on a roll so just go
with it... another wooden horse marks the entrace to the other water coaster;


Which is pretty good, a bit bumpy but much more interesting than the bigger
super splash I think.


After rushing around getting most of the coasters in, we lunched at the
"Worlds first looping restaurant";


But it is only the food that loops, not the restaurant. Still pretty good for
a coaster geek to have lunch at.

Some of us looked happy and expectant;


Others less so?


I liked it though.


Some more bridge antics later in the afternoon;


We got most of the rest of the park done in the afternoon - think we all had
a good day and we rounded the day off with another ride on Bluefire and Wodan.

And thats Jared and Charlotte on the front of Wodan;


See I said I didn't take many pics* that day and that leads to a brief report, apologies.

(* Will try to make up for it with the next day)