Refreshed after lunch and time to move on. Just 10 more rides to discuss and the time at the park too.
Let's get back into this with some... COLD. DEAD. EYES!
This time in the extensive queue for the wild mouse. I've done Mack Wild Mouse rides before, but this one is "different" so I had to go on it. The queue moved quickly (every queue in Europa Park moves quickly, it's like my bowels after ten pints of Guinness) and soon we were away from the CDE and onto the ride.
It's a shame you can see what happens and that I'm going to spoil it for you anyway (come on, it's a Wild Mouse, it's not like I'm telling you Dumbledore dies or anything).
You start off heading towards a closed door, which opens out to the crowded footpaths:
Then, OMG, it goes up vertically. It's shocking I know, but that's what happens. It goes upwards in a wobbly lift before letting you out on to a mediocre mouse ride.
Dull
Boring
It's completely underwhelming and doesn't have that neat little humpy bit the Gerstlauer Bobsleds have. It's pants.
So, it's currently a coaster rations of 1:1 good:bad.
We needed something better, so headed to the back of the park for the large wooden object that was the sole reason for coming here. We rode it, but I've got my photos out of order, so you'll have to wait for Wodan a little while. We have Blue Fire to discuss first...
The queue looked pretty short, and considering the speed of the queue lines (have I mentioned 12 times yet how quick they are? No? I'll work harder then) we hit the ride. It's really odd because the queue starts in a huge, well, gas advert. It's a massive building that is like a display from some kind of expo with 360 degree cinema screens, games and all weird and wonderful stuff. It's also deliciously curtain walled [/cladding goon]. There's also an announcement that goes on about something like "there's a build up of dangerous gas that may explode - something something fart!" which is mildly amusing
Blue Fire
I wont lie, there is nothing to this ride that enamoured me towards it. It got absolutely bummed by people I know who really love Europa Park (my opinion is up above, it's good, but not
that good). It's a launch coaster too and it has inversions.
I was expecting Kanonen again with a weak launch and painful inversions. Or at best maybe a Speed Monster. Then I saw it and my heart sank even further.
The launch is slow... Well, it seems slow and it's quiet due to being LIM/LSM. So it's not like standing next to an Intamin Rocket where you hear the violence of the launch and get that rush of air as it passes by. It's incredibly understated and soft.
It enters the "hill-turn" and practically stops. It's slower than the Nemesis stall turn on the worst day ever. It crawls around the turn and then slowly drops into the layout.
So slow it's painful to watch, like an old granny crossing a busy road
It drops down then into the vertical loop... Slowly, pausing at the top and then down into I think an inline? A hill, MCBR, inversion, hill... Something like that but it does all in a real "plod". It slumps into the elements like a tired old basset hound laying down on a soft bed.
Excitement level is now 0/10. It's been over-hyped, it's not my ride type and it looks dire. Let's get the cred and get the hell out of dodge (hmmmm, deja vu anyone?).
There's a quick cattle pen inside and suddenly you're being ordered in angry German into a row. I was near the back. I have to mention here that it has the coolest automated bag drops. Wodan had them too and as a train comes in, it opens the correct bag drop of 3 for your train using computers and cleverness. I was much more excited about the bag drops than the coaster.
So, the ride itself...
Well, first you have to mention the seats/restraints. You hop into the seat and your feet hang off the floor. They're a deep bucket and really comfortable actually. The restraints come down and fit snuggly and comfortably against your upper thigh. They're jolly nice, even when stapled. There's then a sound track playing in speakers behind your ears. It's a good to start to a rubbish looking coaster.
Once locked in place, you get pushed around into a kind of gas/engineering workshop. Imagine the inside of Ian's gut only cleaner. Then, like Ian's gut, things go wrong and alarms go off and suddenly your thrust out of the anus and onto the ride proper.
It's not a good pre-show, but it's something to look at.
That slow, plodding launch is actually quite good. It's a bit like Velocity's at Flamingoland or maybe a R'nRC. You don't feel hammered as you do on an Intamin Rocket, but it's still got "oomph". It's quite pleasant actually, I like it.
You head up then into the drop-turn and yes, the train slows, but not as much as it seemed from the ground and... What? Ooooh, that's a good drop actually with a decent acceleration after just a tiny bit of floater. In fact, this restraint feels quite loose... Hmmmm...
Down to the vertical loop then and... G-Forces!!! Where the hell did they come from. That's proper high-g entering the loop and... hang... that slow loop drops you but there's no pain, it's not got OTSR so you dangle freely and happily and that restraint feels damn loose! Then down and some more high-g coming out of the loop.
I can't remember the layout, but every inversion, every drop, ever hill was fantastic fun. You're constantly floating really nicely out of your seat which gives a lot of room to move without ever feeling unsafe. I found myself laughing through the entire layout. Then the final inversion off the MCBR is fantastic too. It sets you up with a bit of floater and then hangs you out of the ride with the slow rotation.
The ride ends and you realise the ride doesn't plod. It's not slow. It's engineered to within an inch of its life to give the absolute perfect family fun ride. Yes, it's a family ride (1.3m height limit) and it does it better than any other family ride in the world anywhere. It outdoes the Intamin equivalents by several thousand to one. I mentioned Kanonen and Speed Monster above and they pale massively in comparison. Rita looks like a turd and Eurofighters/X-Cars are a hole in the ground compared to this high tech Japenese-like bathroom experience.
It's a good ride... No, it's a great ride. It's just constant fun from start to end. The seats, restraints, sound system and just everything is perfect for what it is.
It's not a massive thrill ride though, so don't expect that at all. What you get instead is one of the most fun and comfortable rides you'll ever go on in your life. It's one of those joyous rollercoaster moments that happen so rarely - that point that everyone fits so well and you're left with a big smile on your face.
9/10 and good:bad ratio of 2:1 for the park... That's going to change very soon and very rapidly as we head over to the Mine Train.
I'll mention at this point how much of a maze the park is. The paths split and converge and the sign posts a pretty vague about where you should go to next. There are "streets" that dead end and force you back on yourself - it's lovely but confounding at times. It's huge though and I think by the end of two days we'd just started to get the hang of it.
The Mine Train then was about right I guess. It was a decent length and went through a nasty smelling cavern (smelled of lemon grass/citronella) with some animatronic Svart Alfa type things. It kind of interacts with the log flume too which goes through the same caverns. I wonder where Alton got that idea from?
Mine! MINE! Mine!
It's just a simple Powered Mine Train though, it doesn't have anything shocking or exciting. I think the only stand out thing was the speed they dispatched (how many times now?
). It was moving before either MouseAT or myself were seated properly and the ride ops just knocked the bars down as they passed the end of the station. No restraint checks here - Germany is the land of "if you fall out because you're pissing around it's not our fault. We do the minimum we have to to ensure safety but everything else is up to you".
So yeah, standard ride. Good:bad 2:2
A few of us went on Tirdler next... Yes, we giggled. We expected a Mack Flume to be really good, but like the Mine Train it was really bland.
Tirdler
Erm, like half of Alton's I suppose with the bit through the caves for some interest.
Svart Alfa
It's worth remembering we're still trying to do a credit run here. I think we'd managed (though I've not reviewed them all yet) Silver Star, Mouse, Wodan, Supersplash and the Mine Train and it wasn't even lunch yet. The next ride though looked a bit of a chore...
EuroMir
There's a huge space station above the queue, it's cool and then all that lovely mirrored glass. Wait, WTF is this ride???
The outside cattle pen moves quickly enough (
), and you're inside on a rope delay (bloke with rope letting in groups) pretty soon. Then there's a bit of a queue inside for you to take pictures of ugly people
and then the next minute you're on...
WTF is this ride???
We know it's a cross between a spinning coaster and a wild mouse. It's oddly really cool. That lift hill though? THAT lift hill!
It's a spiral lift that turns you every so often as you go on an ascent of roughly 27 minutes. Suddenly you're coming up past the top of a rocket before eventually heading out around the glass faced towers to wild mouse (very slowly) around the tops of them. The cars turn every so often and after some slow mouse faff you do some drops and twists.
It's forceful in a couple of parts, but the highlight is the lift. It's weird, wacky and wonderful but the rest of the ride is piss-poor. It's a big fat gimmick and it doesn't work as a whole "experience" - 5/10
Good:bad 2:3
I need a coffee now and a break, so I'll post this and carry on when I've got my third wind