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Your worst merlin park

The worst uk park owned by merlin

  • Legoland Windsor

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Thorpe Park

    Votes: 1 33.3%
  • Chessington

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Alton Towers

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Total voters
    3
Chessington isn't doing very well as an entire park because a park not far away, which by your negative points is even worse, is stealing it's market.

Legoland is comparatively more expensive, no? It's got NO good rides, at all. I went when I was young and hated it then!

Fury is rarely closed for me. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about there. It's probably because during the period when you went "often" it was having trouble. I dunno? It's fine now.

I like Rattlesnake. It's themeing is epic. Chessington is rotting, I agree there. But Thorpe and Alton aren't? Tussauds were well known for making something look nice then leaving it and never maintaining appearances. Where's the argument directly against Chessington?

It's far more themed than Alton. Far, far, far more. Alton is lanscaped. It's pretty because it was like that already. It's not highly themed, like Chessington is throughout.

Mod Edit - There was no need for that Joey - furie
 
Legoland is comparatively more expensive, no? It's got NO good rides, at all. I went when I was young and hated it then!

The rides are better then at Chessington... The spinning water ride, Dragon, Jungle Coaster, even the water slides, they're all fun family mess-about rides. Something Chessington has zilch of.

Fury is rarely closed for me. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about there. It's probably because during the period when you went "often" it was having trouble. I dunno? It's fine now.

The period I went "often", ie., the most, was last year. Ironically, I got on it more often in '05 then either of the two years since. '07, both visits, dead almost all day. Last year, dead almost all day on three spread-out, separate visits.

Where's the argument directly against Chessington?

Because at Alton and Thorpe it's a lot less worse? Nemesis' station, the Colossus pit etc. Chessington's still gross.

It's not highly themed, like Chessington is throughout.

But Chessington isn't themed more then Alton. Alton has Katanga, Gloomy Wood, Forbidden Valley, Cred Street, Hex, Oblivion, even Spinball, and now, presumably, Mutiny Bay, which are all themed, and for the main part, well. Chessington has Rattlesnake, Vampire, which are both tattered, Dragon Falls, now tattered, the only good part of Chessington is, as I say, Rameses. Theming that used to be good but now isn't, is still bad theming.

Having fun your virtual cock there?

Grow up Ben.

Grow up, and you may see I have a point. I used to think Chessington was a great park for families, but then I saw what a truly good family park is. And that, is not Chessington.
 
I wouldn't consider Lego Land a bad park. It isn't made for enthusiasts who love completely thrilling rides, but for young kids who love everything there. I have a younger cousin who went there about a year ago, and he is begging and pleading to go back because he loves it as a park, so I think for what it is built for, it has done a fabulous job. Okay, enthusiasts would get bored with the rides, but we're not their target market, but because of the variety I could easily spend a day there.

Same thing with Chessington. It isn't an enthusiast's dream park, but I could happily spend a day there without getting bored and kids would never want to leave.

But with Thorpe, the rides are OK(ish) but I could only take so much in one day before getting bored.

So I would say Thorpe.
 
Ben said:
Legoland is comparatively more expensive, no? It's got NO good rides, at all. I went when I was young and hated it then!

The rides are better then at Chessington... The spinning water ride, Dragon, Jungle Coaster, even the water slides, they're all fun family mess-about rides. Something Chessington has zilch of.
I went to Legoland as an alternative from Chessington to try it out, probably in around 98. It was awful. I tried out Thorpe too. That was also awful back then.

The thing is, Legoland has continued to add the same sort of things. There's no "family fun" in rides only 3 year olds can fit on.

Worth the shocking £35 for an adult ticket? Hardly, when all an adult potentially do are 3 terrible coasters and look at some lego bricks.

Fury is rarely closed for me. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about there. It's probably because during the period when you went "often" it was having trouble. I dunno? It's fine now.

The period I went "often", ie., the most, was last year. Ironically, I got on it more often in '05 then either of the two years since. '07, both visits, dead almost all day. Last year, dead almost all day on three spread-out, separate visits.
I'm not denying there is a problem with the general public attendance. What I'm arguing is that from an enthusiast perspective it is better than Legoland. There are no two ways about it.

Chessington is loosing out to Legoland because of branding, I personally think.

Where's the argument directly against Chessington?

Because at Alton and Thorpe it's a lot less worse? Nemesis' station, the Colossus pit etc. Chessington's still gross.
You've not seen Nemesis this year, it sounds like. Nor Colossus. What you're forgetting is that both examples you gave have little theming anyway, but what there is to get old and look unmaintained is just as much as Chessington's Rattlesnake. Rattlesnake's themeing has moving parks and stuff that needs replacing due to weather damage, due to the nature of what was used. If you really think the two are comparable, you're an idiot. Alton and Thorpe are just as badly maintained visually.

It's not highly themed, like Chessington is throughout.

But Chessington isn't themed more then Alton. Alton has Katanga, Gloomy Wood, Forbidden Valley, Cred Street, Hex, Oblivion, even Spinball, and now, presumably, Mutiny Bay, which are all themed, and for the main part, well. Chessington has Rattlesnake, Vampire, which are both tattered, Dragon Falls, now tattered, the only good part of Chessington is, as I say, Rameses. Theming that used to be good but now isn't, is still bad theming.
Chessington is themed between the rides, was my point. And I think when comparing directly, it is more heavily themed than Alton anyway.


Chessington isn't attracting "families" like was planed. Why? I don't know. Probably branding competition with Legoland. But I do not believe it's down to the actual park or it's rides. I'm not sure families of vast age differences really exist anymore, or hang out as families like they did... And so Chessington's target audience just doesn't exist.

But I cannot for the life of me understand why in your position you'd think Legoland is the better park. I just can't see where you're coming from at all.

It's not be the best family park in the world, but it's by far the best in the UK when given a chance.
 
Ben said:
And then there's the fact they've added what? Some fish and ducks since '04? Great. And a relocated Ferris Wheel. Fantastic.

If the fish are sommat so crap, why has Chessie had the best Easter attendances this year?

So far the majority of the Chessington attendances have been rather high for it, so unless it's due to the best Merlin ad campaign this year... :lol:

Rattlesnake theming still works, just not to the same level as it used to... People need to remember that stuff like that is added strain on the yearly budget, and sometimes renovating theming is the first thing sacrificed in order to add something else or work on an important thing (see Bubbleworks and Fury maintenance this year) that is more necessary to the GP...

We as enthusiasts make up a minority of park-goers... Hence we aren't the important aspect to park managements directly, they'll concentrate on the majority of guests, who are people who go for the rides and occasionally complain, ones who WON'T have heard of the parks Ben compared Chessie too... Chessie will be their view of a good park, and the majority of guests do enjoy their visit there, aside from the odd stupid people, but I digress...

Chessington is a nice park, but as with ALL parks, it has faults, and enthusiasts always pick up on the faults first, good stuff later... It's the sad sorry truth...

I agree with Fury however, the amount of time I've sat on Capers and watched it break is hilarious... :lol:
 
I had a really, really good day at Legoland. It handled the crowds well, because of the huge array of rides and non-ride attractions it has to offer. We managed to have hours of fun on all the interactive attractions they had, which is important at a kids park.

Thorpe... meh. It's hardly great, but it's only a thrill park, and I suppose it does this well. For enthusiasts a lot of the rides aren't anything special, but for a paying member of the GP they obviously are.

I don't even need to talk about Alton.





The worst:

Chessington.

Where are the Rapids? All they have is a average/poor Log Flume, which hasn't exactly aged very well.

Their only two 'thrill' rides are grossly unreliable, especially Fury, which i'm yet to see be open for more than half a day.

The park layout is poor, especially the Log Flume area, which is essentially a one ride dead end.

I haven't really experienced the food there, but the only place I did eat was dark, dingey and unclean. The service was shocking as well.

People bang on about how it's such a good family park, but I'm yet to see this. Parks like Efteling offer a diverse range of water rides, amazing dark rides and a few decent thrill rides to keep the older kids occupied. All Chessington manages is a poorly revamped boat ride with cheap, plastic theming and a dull, boring 'shooting' ride which lacks anything to actually shoot. It also has a terrible capacity, which isn't very good when it's a major attraction at an often busy park.

It's not just the layout of the park, the poor range of rides, the terrible food outlets or even the reliability of the major attractions that makes me not want to visit Chessington ever again, but a hybrid, combining all of these characteristics and more, making this a park that is not just a bad day out for me, but one that fails to provide ANYTHING of ANY value.
 
I never realised the amount of people that actually hate Chessington on here.

Its a lovely park, one of the best. Its just a really nice day out, dunno why people have such bad opinions of the place to be honest!
 
About reliability- I've been to Chessington about 7-8 times in the past 3 years, and all apart from once (when it was having it's station/restraint problem), Dragon's Fury has been open every time.
Hell, even Ramesis Revenge has been open almost every time, and that must surely be Chessington's most unreliable ride.

Alton Towers is a very decent park (and most definitely the best Theme Park this country has got to offer). However, if you take out Oblivion and Nemesis, then what have you got? A corkscrew (which I don't even need to go in to), an Accelerator that tries to chop your head off, a very mediocre spinner, the boretastic and rather dissapointing Air and a few ok-ish flat rides. In short, not a lot.

Thorpe Park is my least favourite park out of the three. When you've got more security guards and game-stall attendants combined then you have guests in some areas, then you know you've got a real problem. The best rides in the park are Rush, and then Nemesis Inferno. Stealth is alright for a small rush as you accelerate, but once you're halfway up the tophat you get bored. All the other rides are rubbish.

How anyone can comment on how bad the food is in one certain park I do not know, as all parks offer exactly the same fast food outlets.

Legoland, I cannot comment, as I am yet to visit.

So, yeah, in my opinion, Alton is the best out of the three, then Chessington, and finally Thorpe.
 
Jake said:
Where are the Rapids? All they have is a average/poor Log Flume, which hasn't exactly aged very well.

And since when do Rapids make a park? And if Chessie had one, people would moan how crap it is in comparison to the foreign ones anyway, since all the UK rapids are dull and boring...

Jake said:
Their only two 'thrill' rides are grossly unreliable, especially Fury, which i'm yet to see be open for more than half a day.

Which is the other unreliable ride? Assuming you're saying Rameses, then yes, they are unreliable, but so is Thorpe... And you evidently don't go enough since there are days when nothing breaks down...

Jake said:
The park layout is poor, especially the Log Flume area, which is essentially a one ride dead end.

Dead end that leads into the back of Beanoland? The only dead end in the park is Land of the Dragons' kiddie section where it leads to Griffin's and that's it... Parks are never usually hard to navigate, when you have a map or people (i.e. enthusiasts) who know where everything is...
What else is wrong with the layout? Please share...

Jake said:
I haven't really experienced the food there, but the only place I did eat was dark, dingey and unclean. The service was shocking as well.

Where did you eat just out of interest? Since you do not say where, this can either be a brand restaurant or a park-run one, which have entirely different service standards since the brand restaurants have their own management team, they're just let in by the park lot...

Jake said:
People bang on about how it's such a good family park, but I'm yet to see this. Parks like Efteling offer a diverse range of water rides, amazing dark rides and a few decent thrill rides to keep the older kids occupied. All Chessington manages is a poorly revamped boat ride with cheap, plastic theming and a dull, boring 'shooting' ride which lacks anything to actually shoot. It also has a terrible capacity, which isn't very good when it's a major attraction at an often busy park.

Lack of anything to shoot? Instead the targets are just laid out better on actual things rather than Duel's 'plonk-them-anywhere' ideals? All the targets on Tomb are actually on part of the theming, which is usually all visible, unlike Duel...
Everyone hates Bubbles now, so you're not the one in a million there enthusiast wise...

Jake said:
It's not just the layout of the park, the poor range of rides, the terrible food outlets or even the reliability of the major attractions that makes me not want to visit Chessington ever again, but a hybrid, combining all of these characteristics and more, making this a park that is not just a bad day out for me, but one that fails to provide ANYTHING of ANY value.

What a long drawn out point there... Which sounds over-dramatic and Daily Mail esque... You're basically saying 'It's not just these things I've listed, but ALL of these things I've listed...' Which tells me you've run out of things to say... You don't seem to have labelled specific points, but jumped around them, not giving examples of places which could help your arguement (i.e the restaurant you ate in, surely you've eaten in more than one?) by other people knowing what you're banging on about...
 
Why do people hate Chessington so much? Yes the rides are a little sedate and there are giant mushrooms in the middle of dragon's fury but it's a perfectly good park - much better than Thorpe. I don't even know why I go there anymore.


Woo! Hundredth post!
 
Its a tricky 1...
It depends who ur target market is. Legoland windsor is perfect for little children. But in terms of thrill seekers, none other than thorpe park. Its got amazing rollercoasters (Colossus, Stealth, and the New 1 for 2009 looks great), amazing flat rides (Samurai, Rush, Slammer, Vortex.. the list goes on). In my opinion, as i am 17, i dont use Legoland, so ill focus more on Thorpe, Chessington and Alton, and out of them, it has to be Chessington. Its such a let down in my opinion.
 
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