A day in the life of a nealbie –
by nealbie (mental age 5)
7:55 – 10:10
Bizarrely the surprisingly sleep satisfied nealbie awoke from his slumber and 5 to 8 to the horrendous sounds of Sonic the Hedgehog – the composer responsible would have to suffer! (or alternatively Mr Bell would suffer, as he was conveniently located in the same room and seemed to have programmed his fruit to emit the noises into the atmosphere).
Undecided on the course of action to take on the balding man laying there on the bed next to his, a shower was taken during which the perfect revenge was selected. Cue – hairdryer!
Following an interesting discussion about how aforementioned Sonic sympathiser had not heard a hair dryer for many a year (received with many a giggle from the now fully awake and clean nealbie) – it was time to leave. Affects were collected, drinks were purchased, and McDonalds’s milkshake machine remained perennially broken.
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The journey to Blackpool was filled with marvellous banter between the Bell and the nealbie, couple with good music and a change of lyrics here and there for their own amusement.
The Tower loomed, talk of how the Eiffel Tower made it look depressingly small proceeded to take place and the decidedly awful new one-way system that would loom it’s ugly head later on was navigated through – with us thusly arriving at the scaffolding sign which is the main entrance to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Joy! *sighs*
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“Pole Position” as it were was claimed much to our immense approval in the car park! We had the closest spot to the entrance, take THAT Amanda!
John and Tanya appeared behind us almost immediately and conversation combined with an exchange of costumes ensued. Ian finding a miracle grow product for his hair……..
More people decided that they were going to turn up including a decidedly plain clothed William. Disappointment was had. Well that was until some miraculous 70’s God decided that they would wield their magic and transform into…………
ELTON JOHN!
So we went and collected our wristbands as was wanted to get into the park for some strange reason. Who knew?! The man behind the counter kept trying to sell me things, I didn’t want them. So he had raised voice times, this allowed things to move on at a swifter pace and £40 appeared in my hand – yay for Rach and Will!
After this it was discovered that heightened security had given the false impression that there was a (you’re not going to believe this) QUEUE to get into the Pleasure Beach! Clever bit of marketing from Amanda there, perhaps a little too clever.
Well all thoughts of the genius of this “fabricate-a-queue” contraption was soon blown out of our minds due to man who seemed for all the world English but for his RIDICULOUS accent (he was wearing a suit, it masked his foreign scent, I’m sorry – must try harder); decided that I needed frisking because he wouldn’t believe that the excessive metal on my jacket would cause the machine to go off. As it happened, it HAD and much I told you so took place on my part. I’m loud you see, he didn’t realise what was coming his way until it did!
Here have a picture of my foreign policy……
Once in the park, party bags were handed around and some rather boring and predictable things happened if I’m honest.
Ed started playing with a long pink thing…….
JayJay found an ENTIRE beaver in his……
Martyn H was jealous, he’s never been that close to a real beaver before……
Katy got attacked by some mutant Rainbow Drops which transformed her hair thusly……
And some IDIOT gave nealbie some water pistols!
Here he is looking VERY pleased with himself simply thinking about the havoc he is going to cause momentarily……
The Welsh Assembly took a dim view on the person that had unleashed this menace upon the patrons of the Pleasure Beach……
They were most certainly going to ensure that the culprit was apprehended and made to see what insanity they had released upon the world!
Unfortunately for you, you shall have to wait ‘A Minute Longer’ to find out the full devastation caused by the tall, deranged looking man with lots of hair.
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Tune in next time to find out if:-
1) Resistance is stronger than Superman
2) Elton John’s Still Standing, and
3) If H2O levels will go through the roof!
Pictures courtesy of myself, Mushroom and Rach