13 Year Olds and Alcohol - Your Opinion

[ciallkennett]

My mum bought alcohol for two 13 year old girls today - one being my sister and another being her friend. She didn't seem to worry about the fact they are only 13, nor did she mind that she had bought quite a substantial amount for them. They both paid my mum the money (of course). My sister's friend's mum does the same regularly for them.

In my eyes, my mum is very irresponsible. I mean, they are only 13 for Christ sake. Personally, that's way too young for anybody to be exposed to drinking (I mean, I started at an age I deemed more morally acceptable - my 17th birthday where I got bladdered (in both ways)...rather memorable for myself and a lot of CF members present and online at the time...).

On the other hand, my mum used to buy alcohol for my brother when he was of a similar age without question as she knew that they were inside the house, under her supervision, she could look after them and at least they weren't trawling the streets drinking and getting into trouble.

They are now very drunk downstairs and throwing up.

So now I seek your opinion: What do you think of this? Is my mum ok to do this under the circumstances? Are they too young to start drinking? Is my mum a bad mother?

 

[Ollie]

It is legal to drink in your home with parental permission from the age of 5 I think. Might be 7.
It does seem a bit irresponsible but then each to their own I guess. As long as they have to clean up the mess they make.

 

[kimahri]

^ It's 16.

"Children under 5 must not be given alcohol unless under medical supervision or in an emergency (Children and Young Persons Act 1933, Children and Young Persons (Scotland) Act 1937).[54][55]

The minimum age for the purchase of alcohol is 18. People aged 16 or 17 may consume wine, beer or cider on licensed premises (pubs/bars/restaurants) with a table meal. In England & Wales, an adult must order.[56] In Scotland, no adult is required to be present.[57][58] The legal age for the purchase of alcohol from an off-license (store/supermarket) is 18 (The legal age to buy liqueur chocolates is 16 (however this is rarely enforced)).

Under the BBPA's Challenge 21 scheme, customers attempting to buy alcoholic beverages are asked to prove their age if in the retailer's opinion they look under 21, even though the law states they must be a minimum of 18. Many supermarket and off-licence chains display Challenge 21 notices stating that they will not serve persons who look under 21 without ID.

There is also a new "Challenge 25" scheme being rolled out in some parts of England and Northern Ireland.

Purchasing alcohol on behalf of a minor is illegal in Scotland, England, Northern Ireland and Wales. This means acting as the young person's agent.[59][60]"

Go check the sources if you want a more reliable response.

Dunno what it means in an emergency. Steralization?

 

[Ben]

^That doesn't mention in your home...

I don't think it's the BEST thing for your mum to do, but, it's better than being on the streets...

It can be a GREAT thing to actually show your kids "HEY, alcohol is ****" at a young age so they associate it with feeling like **** and throwing up, and thus don't want to do it. My mum gave me and my sisters alcohol at that age, and it made us sick and we avoided it til we were like, 18, so...

 

[kimahri]

^ That was the best I could get in 5 minutes.

 

[tks]

We need to be more like the continent.

 

[Snoo]

It would have been best if it never happened in the first place. Personally, at 13, I think your Mom is an idiot.

 

[Error]

Yeah, you're mom is pretty stupid. No offense.

 

[Xpress]

13? That's way too young, and I agree with Error and Snoo.

Here in the US, legal alcohol sales age is 21, and even I think that's too young.

 

[furie]

Haha! The difference between the US and UK points of view

It is legal to give a child over 5 alcohol in your own home. You can't buy it for them (so your mum broke the law by accepting money for it), but you're free to give it to them.

tks is right, we need a more European culture towards alcohol. It's a statistically proven that the higher the age limit on being able to buy alcohol, the higher the rates of alcohol abuse in those countries.

The European attitude is that drinking a small amount of alcohol with a meal regularly is the absolute norm. People don't think about trying to find the strongest beer to drink in the quickest way (through silly games like beer pong or whatever) is clever or fun. They think that our "binge" attitude is pretty barbaric.

Alcohol is just part of life. There's no putting it out of reach and making it a forbidden pleasure - so the children learn to respect it at an early age and adults do too.

Going off on one a little here, but our attitude towards alcohol in the UK now is dreadful. I don't mean the binge drinking, abuse and problems it causes - it's the root attitude.

It's considered bad form now to have a pint with your lunch if you go to the pub with work. An after work pint too seems frowned upon, as does a beer or glass of wine with your evening meal at home. At some point, somebody has made alcohol out to be a bad guy. Something that should be kept locked in the cupboard or fridge and only released on a Friday or Saturday (soon to be renamed drunkday and pissedday).

Again, this repression of minor, in the week drinking is putting pressure on us to try and make up for it of a weekend. It's causing problems, and the way the government handles it is to try and make it even more difficult, and more culturally immoral to drink. It's ever decreasing circles (it makes your head spin, and not from the ethanol)...

So, to the 13 year olds. I was brought up in a house where drink was something common. I was offered alcohol at home from around the age of 12 or 13 and it was my choice. I could never stomach most alcohol, it was too strong or too bitter. But I'd drink a bit here and there.

As my taste buds matured and developed, I discovered I could stomach more beers, wines and ciders and was certainly drinking "communally" by the time I was 15. It might be a couple of tinnies with my dad in front of the TV on a Saturday night or a litre of cider with friends watching a film in my room.

It was never a big deal, and though I certainly got "tipsy", I never got really bladdered. It was just a social thing.

When I left school and started college, we'd quite often go for a beer at lunch, or a couple of beers afterwards (I was 16 at this point). I drank more than at home, but never got falling down and chucking up drunk. It was always just a social thing.

The falling down and chucking up thing came later - only after the morally imposed weekly ban as stated above. When I was drinking as and when I felt like it, I wasn't drinking much and wasn't getting drunk. When I did go out to party and get drunk, I never used to get badly drunk.

The reason for me, is simply because it was a slow submersion into drinking. Even now, on the odd chances I have to drink regularly, I will drink less over several days (including the weekend) than I will simply over a weekend having abstained all week long.

The point is, a controlled introduction to alcohol can help teach responsibility. Introduction to drinking at 13 can let you get used to it early, and it takes off the "special naughtiness" that comes with drinking.

There's a massive amount of theory over drinking - too much for here... However, there's a better chance your sister Ciall will be not as drunk at 17 as you were, and will be a sensible one looking after a much drunker friend, standing in a pool of their own urine.

Now, surely it's better for her to learn now at 13 and be a sensible adult drinker, than to grow up abusive towards drink the rest of her life?

As a parent of a 14 year old? If he and a friend wanted some alcohol, I'd happily let them have a drink. I'd keep an eye on how much they were having, but it wouldn't be a problem. In fact, Minor_Furie likes Jacques cider and he's had a few half pints of it over the last little while. He doesn't want to get drunk, but he's not scared of alcohol, and he's not desperate to find out what it's like. He's in a comfortable place with regards it. It's how I want him to be be, comfortable...

 

[Ian]

I have, on several occasions, bought booze for my younger cousin Nathan. He's now 16, but a few years ago at the McLive I bought him several cans of cider.

He drank them quite quickly and I was keeping an eye on him. I could see him deteriorate before me.
An hour or so later, he was sick all over the bed (which I made him either clean up or sleep in, he slept in it) and the next day he had an evil hangover.

Since then, he's more reserved when it comes to alcohol.

At the recent April Douches Live, he slowly drank a couple of cans and that was it. He was in a jolly mood and felt fine the next day.

I'd like to think that I taught him to respect alcohol and he doesn't overdo it nowadays.

My Nan and Grandad owned a pub during the 60's and 70's so their 5 kids grew up with it. None of them drink to excess and I've never seen them mega trashed.

Those that know me will know I enjoy a drink, but when minors are around, I never get wasted like I do with people of my own age.

Set an example and they will learn.

 

[BetaKitten]

I used to have a drink or two when i was around 13, not on street corners or anything. But you know friends houses and stuff (under the watchful eye of there parents). Honestly it was a million miles better than seeing drunken teens in the park drinking those 2 litre bottles of cider!

I think it's ok if you don't have too much... it makes you more aware...

But yeah i think the european way is the best...

Better under your mums roof than some park somewhere where they are also vunerable to other people...

 

[SaiyanHajime]

I hate this country with regard to alcohol, I really do.

The USA is a nicer place because there are no ****ty young people lurking about drunk and the attitude to alcohol is COMPLETELY different.

Now, I don't drink. I don't drink no alcohol what-so-ever, but I drink very little and never go out for the purpose of drinking. I do not understand why it's fun. I'm a rare breed. I can't think of any other things that people do for fun that as many people do? So to be someone who doesn't is rather difficult, because it's WHY many people socialise. To me that's just pathetic and actually rather depressing. I only know two other people who are like me with regard to alcohol.


Whilst the "they need to learn" logic is present, I don't think this works... Since, at whatever age people start drinking, they'd encounter the discouragments of it. So that's just bull****. As for it reducing it's "special naughtiness" as Phil pointed out. Maybe. But, again, most people continue drinking till the point of being wasted throughout their life... It's not something that's only affecting 18 year olds.

Outright prevention of alcohol consumption for under 18's is ludicrous and, I think, a little irresponsible, whatever the intentions.

 

[furie]

There was a study done not so long ago Joey. It started with monkeys.

Basically, in a controlled group of monkeys, you put out an alcoholic drink rather than water for a day.

The next day, you put out both water and the alcoholic drink.

The study showed that a small number of the monkeys just hated the alcoholic drink. They refused to drink it and always drank water.

The majority of monkeys drank the alcoholic drink the first day, then would alternate in degrees between water and alcohol. It seemed to depend on their mood.

A small number (about the same as those that completely abstained) from then on only drank the alcohol.

The research was then extended to humans, and scans of brain activity during controlled ethanol injections were carried out.

It showed that alcohol triggered the pleasure centres of the brain to varying degrees. For most people, it was a decent increase in "pleasure chemical". For a small number, it just hardly activated it at all. For some, it flooded their brains with pleasure chemicals.

That's pretty much the crux of it. Some people are just built to not get anything positive from alcohol. Others (the majority) get a pleasant feeling, but it's not enough to over-ride their "normal" chemical balance. For another few, drinking overwhelms them, and the amount of chemical released is addictive.

And there we have why we have tea-totalers, social drinkers and alcoholics... Of course, the amount of pleasure chemical released in the middling group varied by individual. So people will get varying degrees of pleasure from drinking.

It's nothing to do with culture as such (the ability to try alcohol is, but not the effects) - it's purely down to physiology if you'll enjoy it or not.

Sadly, if you don't like it, you don't like it, and it means you'll never understand the pleasure most people get from drinking.

I've already said that our culture is now pushing us towards a much worse attitude towards drink. When it was commonly accepted to have a drink during the day, and (as in Europe), kids are happy and allowed to drink at home - you don't get the gangs of drunks on the streets and nightmare binged up yobs of a weekend. An acceptance of alcohol leads to a calming of its affect (not for the small number who have an alcoholics brain mind ).

A study shows that over 50% of Americans have had alcohol regularly while at school age. The 21 law doesn't stop it at all, it just makes over half your students criminals and hides it away from people who should be advising and helping.

It's better Nathan got drunk with Ian around to help him (and show him how to deal with it) where it's safe, than to collapse in the park or in a friend's house without adults and choke on his own vomit. It's going to happen at some time, and there are very few teenagers going to wait until they're old enough.

Best to make it the norm and just treat it like an every day thing.

 

[Nic]

I was always allowed a bit of alcohol in moderation as a kid growing up. Whether that be a wine spritzer with a family roast dinner, a thimble of sherry on a sunday, a glass of cider or sparkling wine when on holiday, or a martini rosso and/or snowball on xmas day. It was very sensibly done and, as Furie said, helped to remove the 'mystique' associated with drinking. As a teenager when I started going to parties that involved drinking (probably about 14 years old), my mum would happily pack me off with a 4 pack of Woodpecker. She knew that if she didn't give me drink, I'd get hold of some anyway, and probably end up with something much stronger and get myself in a state. She could also see that this exact thing was happening with my friends around me, who's parents didn't let them have alcohol. 4 cans of relatively weak cider was enough to make me tipsy, and to make me feel socially accepted in a party full of ****ered teens, but was a 'safe' enough level for me. The problem came when my mate's mum had a party where the alcohol was provided. I was guzzling back glass upon glass of a punch of inderterminate strength, didn't know when to stop and no one noticed how much I'd got through. It ended in the inevitable vomiting fit. My friend's parents called mine who came to collect me clutching a bucket, propped me up on the sofa at home, then kept an eye on me through the night to make sure I wasn't choking to death. Whilst we had a "now, that wasn't a very good idea was it? Please don't do that again" convesation, they never had a go at me. They realised that it was such a horrible experience that it was enough to put me off for a few years. I didn't really drink again until I was about 17. By that point, although I wasn't sensible enough to know when to stop, I was sensible enough to be able to look after myself. I've always had an inate ability to throw up in a sensible place (toilet/sink or bucket if the former unavailable... ok, or hedge on 2 occasions) and get myself home in one piece. Whilst at the age of 19 I learnt to stop myself (mostly) from throwing up, it was only a coping mechanism, and I was still drinking far too much. It's only really over the last year that I've actually learnt when to stop.

I guess that doesn't really prove anything and was a waste of typing, really. Oh well.

To give my opinion on Ciall's sister, I don't have a problem with your Mum giving them alcohol, but I do think it's wrong to give them enough to make them sick. Yes, I agree that it's far better to have them doing it at home under supervision than on a street corner, but I really don't think she should be encouraging them to drink more then they can handle. A bit in moderation whilst under supervision is a good idea, but you need to be sensible about it.

 

[Ben]

Oh yeah, the American attitude to alcohol is retarded.

Having been to place with a lot of alcohol and a lot of 25-ish year old Americans and younger English people, the Americans have one or two, get bladdered and think it's hilarious because it's *still* quite new, whilst we're like "um... OK? I was drinking that much at 14, get over yourselves?"

Americans have THE worst attitude to drinking of any country I've drunk in. Europe for the absolute WIN. Sadly, we are starting to push towards the American attitude, which is causing issues.

 

[marc]

We were allowed weak drinks as kids, but I was always bought up with wine is to have with dinner etc. Being Jewish we had wine at a very young age due to Passover and things like that, but felt safe as parents were there etc.

When your then older drink is not a big deal, and for me I drink less as I know what it is to get drunk and dont need to do it every weekend. Once or twice a year is ok for me, I have more fun not drinking. I am sure people that have seen me drunk would love me to get drunk more

Tbh I think its better to learn what drink does to you at a younger age when parents can keep a close eye on you than wait until your 18 and you get drunk in a bar or club for the 1st time and have no idea what is happening or what to do.

I have very mixed view on drinking anyway.

I have the problem where I cannot just have one drink, if I drink I drink to get smashed. But I lose the following day, so this is why I dont tend to drink if I have things to do the next day.

I also feel drink can take over your life to much, people at work for example cannot wait to get home to get drunk. I just find that strange, there are so many things to do in life why sit there and get drunk every night? I dunno maybe its just me that does not understand it.

 

[kimahri]

Now, I don't drink. I don't drink no alcohol what-so-ever, but I drink very little and never go out for the purpose of drinking. I do not understand why it's fun. I'm a rare breed.

Same really. :|

I've been given sips and trys of different drinks. Dun like it, gives me morning breath as well. Also went out for my step cousin's birthday and went to a couple of pub bar places. They were just so cramped, loud and irritating.

 

[Smithy]

I hate this country with regard to alcohol, I really do.

The USA is a nicer place because there are no <img> young people lurking about drunk and the attitude to alcohol is COMPLETELY different.

Now, I don't drink. I don't drink no alcohol what-so-ever, but I drink very little and never go out for the purpose of drinking. I do not understand why it's fun. I'm a rare breed. I can't think of any other things that people do for fun that as many people do? So to be someone who doesn't is rather difficult, because it's WHY many people socialise. To me that's just pathetic and actually rather depressing. I only know two other people who are like me with regard to alcohol.


Whilst the "they need to learn" logic is present, I don't think this works... Since, at whatever age people start drinking, they'd encounter the discouragments of it. So that's just <img>. As for it reducing it's "special naughtiness" as Phil pointed out. Maybe. But, again, most people continue drinking till the point of being wasted throughout their life... It's not something that's only affecting 18 year olds.

Outright prevention of alcohol consumption for under 18's is ludicrous and, I think, a little irresponsible, whatever the intentions.

Snap.

It's awful being at university where everyone is sat banging on about how trashed they were last night and how trashed they're gonna be tonight. Let alone when you get tarred with the same brush of being a drunken student lout. I went through a period of realtively large drinking. Not alcoholic levels, but when I did drink I drank stupid amounts for me. I threw up in my sleep and nearly choked. Threw up all over my bed and slept in it. Passed out and couldn't recall six hours of one night. Threw up all over a motorway service station.

Pretty much developed a phobia of being sick. And that stopped me from getting drunk. I still drink, pint of cider with dinner occaisonally. But I'm pretty much at the stage now where when I reach my limit I actually begin to dislike the taste of it and can't stomach any more.

I can't begin to understand the theory that you have to be smashed to have a good night. It's stupid, pretty much as you've said. I ****ing hate moronic people who flout that because I don't drink, I must be boring. Yes, I'd love to go out and spend £3 on a pint of warm Strongbow to be subjected to music I hate surrounded by drunken scum, when I can be relaxed at home with mates, drinking ice cold cider listening to music I like.

Such an anti-student. Not actually been drunk in 6 years.

 

[SaiyanHajime]

Oh yeah, the American attitude to alcohol is retarded.

Having been to place with a lot of alcohol and a lot of 25-ish year old Americans and younger English people, the Americans have one or two, get bladdered and think it's hilarious because it's *still* quite new, whilst we're like "um... OK? I was drinking that much at 14, get over yourselves?"

Americans have THE worst attitude to drinking of any country I've drunk in. Europe for the absolute WIN. Sadly, we are starting to push towards the American attitude, which is causing issues.

That sounds so like, pathetic, to me. Like your pride in drinking that much at 14 is just... pathetic. Why's it a good thing?

What really shocks me the most is just how horrendously dangerous alcohol is. And yet, it's smoking that gets the stick. And illegal drugs, some of which are far less harmful than alcohol or even tobacco, get even more.

It's a joke. It really is. And I find it almost sickening how obsessed people are with alcohol.

I don't think it should be banned, but jesus, learn to enjoy yourselves without. And bragging about it and getting frustrated at a country because you can't do it how you want is just ... well, a bit sick.