Will
Strata Poster
This town, is coming like a ghost town…
All the creds are being closed down.
People getting angry…
So, along with the rest of the UK enthusiast community, I’ve had this weekend marked on my calendar for several weeks and have been significantly unimpressed with the way it’s turned out, especially as I gather the weather wasn’t that bad until late afternoon yesterday. However, I’ll pretend I’ve not read the park’s most recent announcement and stick to what was going to be a predominantly positive report. I also intended on making this a factual report, rather than what I have dubbed a ‘me, myself, I’ trip report – alas, the way today has turned out, that was simply not going to be practical.
No official update on ride availability had been made when I set out this morning, but I’d barely gone two miles before I got the gist of it – driving conditions weren’t great my side of Newcastle under Lyme, but after that, there were no further hairy moments until I reached the resort’s roads themselves. Due to inattentiveness, I hadn’t realised everybody was parking in express, but I enjoyed the novelty of being the only car on the main car park – and I wanted a walk anyway.
As I’d expected by now, the monorail was closed and I saw less than five other people while walking to the park, which similarly did not bode well. The snow was also surprisingly thick in places. Staff heavily outnumbered guests at the entrance plaza (which has been redesigned in a rather strange manner, leaving a lot of dead space where ticket kiosks once stood) – but as only two windows were open, there was a queue. I had a half-price ticket in my bag, but after mulling over my options and reluctantly concluding that one way or another, I’d be back before 2018 was out, got a shiny new red Alton Towers pass – I was served by Jade, who I mention by name because she was smiley, helpful and understanding. I assumed she’d made a rookie error when she charged £40 for the pass, but didn’t point this out until the transaction was complete – apparently, they’d been marked down by way of an apology for the shambles of an opening weekend. Upon hearing this, my frustrations melted away – the trip had not been a wasted one, and even the biggest Merlin sceptic has to admit that £40, cheaper than the on-the-day ticket price – is actually good value. That said, Towers have now made more out of me than had the ride opened today, so it’s literally swings and roundabouts. I do have one more worrying complaint point, which is that despite the army of staff – at no point between me parking the car and me entering the park was I actually, verbally informed that 90% of the park would be unavailable. I was expecting at least a hastily cobbled together sign with a few spelling mistakes and the word ‘fantastical’ thrown in there somewhere.
Remembering my promise to be in Corner Coffee between 10 and 10:30, I grabbed a sausage sandwich and a coffee. I got annual pass discount, which made me happy. This level of detail is why some people hate my reports; to cut a long story short, I didn’t meet anyone in Corner Coffee.
It was cold and windy when I left Corner Coffee – most of CBeebiesland appeared to be open, but I wasn’t hugely interested in checking that out. Staff were blocking the path past Adventureland (is it still called that?) as well as the Katanga Canyon path and paths both sides of the Battle Galleons lake. I gather Heave Ho! was open yesterday – this was not the case today and judging from the blocked paths, I gathered it wouldn’t be possible to get up to Hex. My choices appeared limited, but at length, I found a single accessible vantage point for the UK’s first wooden coaster in over two decades. The track was snowy and to be honest, aside from being closed, this was a good look for it – it’s no secret that I’ve been utterly non-plussed by this project from the very beginning, but I’ll echo the words of those who’ve said that photos simply don’t do it justice and you have to see the ride in person to get a feel for it. Helped out by Mandy’s over-eagerness with a chainsaw, there is chance for this to be England’s best wooden coaster. On a personal note, I’m still disappointed that the theming doesn’t more closely resemble the wicker man Iron Maiden used as a stage prop a few years ago, but the reasons for this have been explained to me.
Anyway, a few minutes gooning ensued and I decided to check out the shop – I have a rule about not buying souvenirs for a ride I haven’t been on and also need to save money for stuffed koalas and the like at present, but I’ll admit I was impressed with the tat on offer. A bored and cold staff member struck up conversation with me in the shop, mainly about the downs and downs of being a Stoke City supporter, as well as Wicker Man tat ('TERRIFYING TEDDIES!') and the lack of warmth afforded by her uniform (the coat is flimsy and the hat and scarf rather minimalistic). In addition to amusing me for five minutes or so, she also took a picture of me with the wickerman in the shop, but didn’t seem to understand when I asked if I should set fire to it. Bless.
It usually frustrates me when people notice this kind of thing, but as there was little else to comment on, I shall observe that the Courtyard toilets have been renovated over the off season and are now a fair bit more pleasant to be in. By now, I was running out of ideas and made for Sealife as I always used to spend a lot of time in aquariums during the off-season and I hadn’t been in in a while. As little had changed, I can’t think of anything very interesting to say, but this killed half an hour nicely – there were cleaner shrimps and sharks. Some of the yellow tangs looked a little bedraggled and I learned that lionfish don’t live on the barrier reef, which is excellent news. There was no ‘GHOSTS OF THE SEA’ to my disappointment and the staff in the sealife shop looked bored and were less fun.
Speaking of unimpressed staff, I’m not convinced that the operator of Marauder’s Mayhem was overjoyed when I decided I wanted a ride and he ended up running it just for me – this was the daftest I’d felt on a ride since Bohmischer Prater last year, but I was determined not to leave without riding something!
Wandering back for another goon at Wicker Man, I finally spotted some familiar faces in the form of a few hardy members of the Towers Street forum, who’d been staying on resort for the weekend. They too were coming to the conclusion that it was time to leave, but I had a wander through CBeebiesland with them and went on In The Night Garden in the snow, which, due to animatronics only partly functioning as a result of the weather, was amusing enough to have almost warranted the trip. We also faffed about on the main lawn for a bit and were chased by a staff member who advised us not to play on the lawn for safety reasons – this was ignored and we were reminded of being in school.
We said our goodbyes at the park exit around 12:00 and I struck up conversation with another staff member, who was far from optimistic about my chances of a more successful trip on Monday. As such, it’s looking increasingly likely that Wicker Man will end up being my 500th coaster.
Walking back to the car park, a few gates had been carelessly left open and I ‘accidentally’ took a wrong turning and ended up in Forbidden Valley. It was very quiet. To kill a bit more time, I had a look in the hotel; The Captain’s bar appeared to be being stocked, which is odd as it’s never open – however, the cocktail menu remains uninspiring. The snow had mostly been cleared outside, so I didn’t take any nice pictures.
Not wanting to head home just yet, I had some lunch in the Rollercoaster restaurant where I was the only non-staff member in attendance – as such, service was quite good.
And here, essentially endeth my tale – not the opening weekend for which I had hoped, but far from being my worst theme park trip. I once saw a goon say that even the worst day at a theme park was better than the best day at home and considering I had no other plans for today that didn’t involve sulking, if I pretend Thorpe doesn’t exist, then there’s a fair amount of truth in his words. As much as I love to hate the Merlin parks, I’m in this hobby for a reason and somehow, there still managed to be a good atmosphere on resort today, helped by a number of upbeat staff members who still seemed to want to be there (though I did only see one WM themed entertainer, and he was going on his break). Until next time then…
All the creds are being closed down.
People getting angry…
So, along with the rest of the UK enthusiast community, I’ve had this weekend marked on my calendar for several weeks and have been significantly unimpressed with the way it’s turned out, especially as I gather the weather wasn’t that bad until late afternoon yesterday. However, I’ll pretend I’ve not read the park’s most recent announcement and stick to what was going to be a predominantly positive report. I also intended on making this a factual report, rather than what I have dubbed a ‘me, myself, I’ trip report – alas, the way today has turned out, that was simply not going to be practical.
No official update on ride availability had been made when I set out this morning, but I’d barely gone two miles before I got the gist of it – driving conditions weren’t great my side of Newcastle under Lyme, but after that, there were no further hairy moments until I reached the resort’s roads themselves. Due to inattentiveness, I hadn’t realised everybody was parking in express, but I enjoyed the novelty of being the only car on the main car park – and I wanted a walk anyway.
As I’d expected by now, the monorail was closed and I saw less than five other people while walking to the park, which similarly did not bode well. The snow was also surprisingly thick in places. Staff heavily outnumbered guests at the entrance plaza (which has been redesigned in a rather strange manner, leaving a lot of dead space where ticket kiosks once stood) – but as only two windows were open, there was a queue. I had a half-price ticket in my bag, but after mulling over my options and reluctantly concluding that one way or another, I’d be back before 2018 was out, got a shiny new red Alton Towers pass – I was served by Jade, who I mention by name because she was smiley, helpful and understanding. I assumed she’d made a rookie error when she charged £40 for the pass, but didn’t point this out until the transaction was complete – apparently, they’d been marked down by way of an apology for the shambles of an opening weekend. Upon hearing this, my frustrations melted away – the trip had not been a wasted one, and even the biggest Merlin sceptic has to admit that £40, cheaper than the on-the-day ticket price – is actually good value. That said, Towers have now made more out of me than had the ride opened today, so it’s literally swings and roundabouts. I do have one more worrying complaint point, which is that despite the army of staff – at no point between me parking the car and me entering the park was I actually, verbally informed that 90% of the park would be unavailable. I was expecting at least a hastily cobbled together sign with a few spelling mistakes and the word ‘fantastical’ thrown in there somewhere.
Remembering my promise to be in Corner Coffee between 10 and 10:30, I grabbed a sausage sandwich and a coffee. I got annual pass discount, which made me happy. This level of detail is why some people hate my reports; to cut a long story short, I didn’t meet anyone in Corner Coffee.
It was cold and windy when I left Corner Coffee – most of CBeebiesland appeared to be open, but I wasn’t hugely interested in checking that out. Staff were blocking the path past Adventureland (is it still called that?) as well as the Katanga Canyon path and paths both sides of the Battle Galleons lake. I gather Heave Ho! was open yesterday – this was not the case today and judging from the blocked paths, I gathered it wouldn’t be possible to get up to Hex. My choices appeared limited, but at length, I found a single accessible vantage point for the UK’s first wooden coaster in over two decades. The track was snowy and to be honest, aside from being closed, this was a good look for it – it’s no secret that I’ve been utterly non-plussed by this project from the very beginning, but I’ll echo the words of those who’ve said that photos simply don’t do it justice and you have to see the ride in person to get a feel for it. Helped out by Mandy’s over-eagerness with a chainsaw, there is chance for this to be England’s best wooden coaster. On a personal note, I’m still disappointed that the theming doesn’t more closely resemble the wicker man Iron Maiden used as a stage prop a few years ago, but the reasons for this have been explained to me.
Anyway, a few minutes gooning ensued and I decided to check out the shop – I have a rule about not buying souvenirs for a ride I haven’t been on and also need to save money for stuffed koalas and the like at present, but I’ll admit I was impressed with the tat on offer. A bored and cold staff member struck up conversation with me in the shop, mainly about the downs and downs of being a Stoke City supporter, as well as Wicker Man tat ('TERRIFYING TEDDIES!') and the lack of warmth afforded by her uniform (the coat is flimsy and the hat and scarf rather minimalistic). In addition to amusing me for five minutes or so, she also took a picture of me with the wickerman in the shop, but didn’t seem to understand when I asked if I should set fire to it. Bless.
It usually frustrates me when people notice this kind of thing, but as there was little else to comment on, I shall observe that the Courtyard toilets have been renovated over the off season and are now a fair bit more pleasant to be in. By now, I was running out of ideas and made for Sealife as I always used to spend a lot of time in aquariums during the off-season and I hadn’t been in in a while. As little had changed, I can’t think of anything very interesting to say, but this killed half an hour nicely – there were cleaner shrimps and sharks. Some of the yellow tangs looked a little bedraggled and I learned that lionfish don’t live on the barrier reef, which is excellent news. There was no ‘GHOSTS OF THE SEA’ to my disappointment and the staff in the sealife shop looked bored and were less fun.
Speaking of unimpressed staff, I’m not convinced that the operator of Marauder’s Mayhem was overjoyed when I decided I wanted a ride and he ended up running it just for me – this was the daftest I’d felt on a ride since Bohmischer Prater last year, but I was determined not to leave without riding something!
Wandering back for another goon at Wicker Man, I finally spotted some familiar faces in the form of a few hardy members of the Towers Street forum, who’d been staying on resort for the weekend. They too were coming to the conclusion that it was time to leave, but I had a wander through CBeebiesland with them and went on In The Night Garden in the snow, which, due to animatronics only partly functioning as a result of the weather, was amusing enough to have almost warranted the trip. We also faffed about on the main lawn for a bit and were chased by a staff member who advised us not to play on the lawn for safety reasons – this was ignored and we were reminded of being in school.
We said our goodbyes at the park exit around 12:00 and I struck up conversation with another staff member, who was far from optimistic about my chances of a more successful trip on Monday. As such, it’s looking increasingly likely that Wicker Man will end up being my 500th coaster.
Walking back to the car park, a few gates had been carelessly left open and I ‘accidentally’ took a wrong turning and ended up in Forbidden Valley. It was very quiet. To kill a bit more time, I had a look in the hotel; The Captain’s bar appeared to be being stocked, which is odd as it’s never open – however, the cocktail menu remains uninspiring. The snow had mostly been cleared outside, so I didn’t take any nice pictures.
Not wanting to head home just yet, I had some lunch in the Rollercoaster restaurant where I was the only non-staff member in attendance – as such, service was quite good.
And here, essentially endeth my tale – not the opening weekend for which I had hoped, but far from being my worst theme park trip. I once saw a goon say that even the worst day at a theme park was better than the best day at home and considering I had no other plans for today that didn’t involve sulking, if I pretend Thorpe doesn’t exist, then there’s a fair amount of truth in his words. As much as I love to hate the Merlin parks, I’m in this hobby for a reason and somehow, there still managed to be a good atmosphere on resort today, helped by a number of upbeat staff members who still seemed to want to be there (though I did only see one WM themed entertainer, and he was going on his break). Until next time then…
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