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WTF Merlin?


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I don't think it would be a terrible idea for them to offer some kind of package deal to be honest. Advertise something at the London Eye, Dungeons, Sea Life etc. Some kind of multi-attraction ticket with a shuttle bus from central London and back. I mean, they've got similar for Legoland Florida (different market I know).

As people have said, nobody is going to London to visit a theme park, and most international tourists wouldn't even know that Thorpe Park is there, so despite being "easy" to get to via train, it won't even be on the radar. A lot will end up at the central London attractions though. Is Thorpe even advertised at those? Genuine question since I have no idea, but it would seem like a glaring omission if they don't at least have a few posters/leaflets around.

Despite not being a priority, people will often find themselves with an extra day or two.

I kind of see it like Park Asterix in a way. Nobody is going to Paris to visit Asterix, but they have bus/ticket combos from the city centre. I'm sure they get mostly locals using those, but they must grab a bit of tourist trade as well.


New Member
So... Merlin are now trying to sell the fact that they haven’t spent any money on theming at all for their latest accommodation offering, the Stargazing Pods, by listing one of the new accommodation’s features as “Themed in a minimalistic style”. :eek: Another one of the “features” includes “Discover[ing] the Resort's own constellations” so in other words looking up at the f***ing sky. :mad: I’d like to say they can do better, but I quite frankly don’t believe they can.


Well-Known Member
I know, just look at the state of that;

I know we stayed in various huts in Poland at the weekend, but they were cheap as chips and had at least room to swing several dead cats.

The single cots look about as wide as a shelf. Blimey.


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£123! One hundred and twenty three pounds?! PER NIGHT!

I could BUILD that for less than it costs to stay for a weekend.

**** me. They should be embarrassed.


I had thought they were built with some sort of special ceiling so you could look at the sky from your bed. But, no, if you want to go "stargazing" just, er, step outside and stand in a field. Alton, you are spoiling us.
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I imagine even though he hasn't been yet, this is Shawn Sanbrooke's new favourite hotel and "Alton are on for a real winner here."
I mean, I can definitely see a hipster demographic going for this even if it's expensive.


Mixed feelings on Fright Nights this year but on the whole this post deserves to go in the 'wtf Merlin' topic. Started off with Vulcan Peak, it's awful. You have a bag on your head and follow a rope for a few minutes during which time there were no actors and the only effect was a gust of wind.

I really enjoyed Living Nightmare. The first half is nicely themed and the actors were very grabby and hands on. If this lasted more than three minutes and had a proper ending it would be a fantastic maze.

The outdoor mazes all merge into one for me. Blair Witch was the best of the bad bunch, actually has proper scenes and scripted scares this year. The forest sections make you feel isolated which the previous iteration of this maze failed to do. Dead Creek Wood is possibly the worst maze I've ever done. Barely any theming, a boring infection plot and a few coughing actors. Why is budget being spent on bland nonsense like this? Platform 15 limps on for another year, people seem to rave about the more recent versions of this but I don't get it. Yes the house section is awesome, it's very creepy with some great scares but it takes up about 5% of the runtime. The rest is dull, especially the overly long intro and the tunnel where the main scares come from the fact there's string hanging down from the ceiling. It's such an uninteresting maze but you just know it will return for its fourth season next year. Do or Die had some potential (nice chainsaw scene and some dark smoke filled containers where you couldn't see your hand in front of your face) but there were some tedious outdoor sections and black walls, it looked really unfinished.

Highlight for me was Saw. I had a great run through at the back with Pig Face stalking me through the freezer stroking my ear and the bloke in the Saw 4 scene pulling back my hood as I tried to exit.

So not great on the maze front this year. Only 2/7 are traditional themed indoor mazes and both are good but not a patch on the stuff at Towers and Tulleys. The rest while having some interesting moments are on the whole low quality and when this is the majority of the event there's a problem.

Operations were fantastic though, two trains on all the coasters during the day with walk on queues. Such a rarity for Thorpe but I loved it. Waited ten minutes or less for most of the mazes too which was great.

If you're from down South just go to Tulleys.
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