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WTF are you talking about???

Ugh, I had a northern person come in to the chippy and ask for a cob, I'm like 'WTF are you talking about, you mean coD? Apparently it's a buttered roll, sorry for not being educated in northern.
 
Even up North we can't decide. Where I come from "barmcake" or "barm" is the generic term (though they are actually a specific type of bread product), but just 30 miles farther North, the generic term is a "tea cake" - which is actually a fruit tea cake, without the fruit - so is correct. Again, it's used for all bread roll products though.

The local butty shop here calls them wagons! WTF? Stupid Midlanders!
 
Going back to the 'anything and chips' thing, Conor likes to purposely confuse people at the chippy by asking for a 'sausage supper'. He also has a 'gravy chip' which as you can guess is chips with gravy, just a funny broken way of putting it.

Back into more wtf stuff from the wonderful world of TGI Fridays customers, someone the other day asked me what 'adding up' meant after I asked her to 'just add up your meal then tell me the total'.

Somebody also pointed to the picture of sesame chicken strips in the menu and confusedly said to me 'you used to do these...chicken strip things?' You mean, the ones you are pointing to a picture of in the menu?

MORONS.


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RE: Chips thing. Up North, we have "a mixture". In Widnes, it's chips and peas. In Frodsham just ten miles or so away, it's chips and gravy. I've even heard tell that it can mean chips and curry sauce as far afield as Warrington!!! Wigan it probably means two pies in the same tray ;)

Fish supper or sausage supper is something I'm completely comfortable with, but I have no idea if it's a Northern, Midlands or other thing as I can't remember ever asking for one :lol:
 
There are some funny phrases local to Bristol / west country. "Smoothing" (pronounced 'smooving') is what we call petting an animal. You "give it a smoove."

When getting off a bus, people say "cheers drive." And the double negatives are rife: "I ain't got none" is frequently what you hear when a shop is out of stock of something. Even though technically, that means they do have some.

One that I only just realised is exclusive to my family is 'cleaning my chips' - which is what we say when we go to brush our teeth. I have no idea where that came from.

My colleagues constantly get their tenses muddled up on one particular phrase. When a customer orders something and we have to take their name, they always say: "what was your name?" on the first time of asking for it. The customer's not dead! They haven't lost their name somewhere! Unless, we now require maiden names to process an order?! The excessive exclamation points should demonstrate how mad this silly thing drives me.

Also, young trendy hipster language makes me laugh. When they describe parties as "off the hook." What - the party was like the constant humming of the dial tone? Or did everyone leave their coats on the floor? In what way, exactly, was it off the hook?! And "sick". Sick is not a positive adjective.
 
Southerners here in the US just call soda "coke" no matter what kind it is. I usually call it pop but I'll also say soda.


Posted while reading your mind.
 
^ My mum always calls any pop 'lemonade'. And you come back from the shop with a 2 litre bottle of lemonade and she acts disappointed and would have preferred something like 'cherry coke'... FFS?!!!

Nobody else ever done this until I met my girlfriend, she calls any drink 'a juice' - then picks up an Irn-Bru or something :lol:
 
I've a few...

Tight as a ducks arse. Who's actually tested out that theory?

Game as a badger. As in "she's as game as a badger" A different way of calling a girl an experienced cock handler. But where did the badger come from?

I'd smash the granny out of that. what!? If you're going to give a girl a good seeing too, why are you suddenly "smashing the granny out of her"?

I've loads more but these 3 have always left me wondering about their origins.
 
I have head my mother use the classic phrase ' **** a duck' as a term of surprise, now if you would ever spontaneously have your way with a duck when you are surprised then I can understand it but I have never had that sudden urge.
 
Darren B said:
I've a few...

Tight as a ducks arse. Who's actually tested out that theory?
Click to expand...

[/quote]
Jordanovichy said:
I have head my mother use the classic phrase ' **** a duck' as a term of surprise, now if you would ever spontaneously have your way with a duck when you are surprised then I can understand it but I have never had that sudden urge.
Click to expand...

The two must somehow be linked... ;)

Tight as a ducks arse comes from the hair style made famous in the 50's. You had to really coil the hair tight under itself for the DA to stay in place. Sorry to ruin that one for you.

Darren B said:
Game as a badger. As in "she's as game as a badger" A different way of calling a girl an experienced cock handler. But where did the badger come from?
Click to expand...

It's about badger hunting. A badger is a game animal.

It could have been "Game as a deer" or "Game as a wild boar", but I think badger is better :)

No idea about the granny thing. Is it that you would be so voracious in your act of coitus that you transcend generations?
 
furie said:
No idea about the granny thing. Is it that you would be so voracious in your act of coitus that you transcend generations?
Click to expand...

Furie, please. I struggled at school, could you reword that sentence into moron please? Thanks :D
 
You'd **** her so hard that her gran would feel it in the past :)

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furie said:
You'd **** her so hard that her gran would feel it in the past :)

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Thanks. I knew what you were saying, I just wanted you to lower your standards enough to spout such filth.
 
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