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United Kredding - Part 48: The Honourable Final (2023)


Theme Park Superhero
Yes, that was quite the adventure.
I'll always admire ambition and dedication to the cause on this sort of level, especially for putting up with all that public transport!

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
@Hixee - Thank you for the kind words, glad you enjoyed it!

@HeartlineCoaster - I have no idea how I have the patience for public transport sometimes! I guess it's because I have a goal (rollercoaster) in mind and I really want to get there, but there is no denying the fact that it's both unreasonably expensive and it can (and most likely will) go wrong. And then I get a screamer sat opposite me as I question my entire life...

Still going strong though, already checked off my first coaster of the year and I've already had a highly questionable experience with trains. Guessing there's more to come and I fear what awaits me on rails. But it ain't stopping me.

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
how many credits are you currently missing on the british isles? gotta be less than ten by now
I've been making some decent progress but excluding travelling coasters I'm around exactly halfway there with conquering the Isles, so around 100 more to go.

In terms of good coasters I'm missing... I wouldn't say more than five - Grand National, Speed, Megafobia, Kumali, Cú Chulainn

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Realised I never put the graph of how my cred count has evolved, and where it stands at the end of 2021. Here it is.


Mind if I also turn this into a 'creds across this highly-questionable-at-best island' thing? Was planning on leaving this all until the end of the year but I changed my mind. The 'I keep saying they'll happen though tis all but a dream at this present moment in time' Europarks will deserve their own threads.

Stay tuned for Part 16.
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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 16: Back into the Slide of Things


Tourists, eh? Get in the way of everything and everyone everywhere all the time. I'm sure you hate them, but I'm sure you've been them too. Want to do everything, I want to do everything, you want to do everything. They want to ride everything, you want to ride everything, I want to ride everything. Let's go.

To me my personal definition of 'tourism' is any rideless (part of a) trip I go out of my way to do, with the intent of entertaining myself and/or crossing something off the "this interests me" list. The Olympic sculpture known as the 'ArcelorMittal Orbit' falls into this category. With a lack of things to do with Winter Wonderland wrapped up, international parks still being off limits, and the off season in full swing, I had to improvise. And what way to do it in a way that impersonates the mechanical machines themselves?

The way there was almost as easy as it could get with a full run of the Jubilee line to Stratford. The reason I say almost is that when you step out of the train in Stratford, you start to heavily regret all of your life decisions. The overpowering smell of cigarettes, drab concrete without a single tree in sight, misery misery misery. Its one of those places where you just... take a look around and think to yourself "how did we get here?". I felt like I blended in with the depressed commuters who were just there to do their job and then GTFO as fast as possible. Either way, I trundled onwards towards the Orbit.

If you intend on doing the slide then be aware of two things - one, you will put ALL of your stuff into a locker and two, half of the lockers are broken. In an embarrassing turn of events I had to call over the same staff member twice for two things - one, to find a locker and two, to find a locker that worked. Upon entry to the Orbit plaza you're given a token (that you can take home!) that you insert to lock the locker door. I haven't tested this yet but I'm sure the token has the same dimensions as a pound coin so I'm sure they can be used for shopping trolleys.

As you're not allowed to bring your phone on for the slide I headed up the lift to have a look around for the longest fifteen minutes of my life before heading down a floor to find the slide queue. Fans of monochromatic landscapes and drab futures should certainly put the ArcelorMittal Orbit on their bucket list. On the flipside, no pun intended, mirror enthusiasts should also put the ArcelorMittal Orbit on their bucket list as them can look at a large mirror that flips the landscape behind you upside down which is admittedly pretty cool. The area has interactive screens where you can tap a building you can see and the screen gives interesting context on what that building is. It's a great educational thing, have to say I did think to myself "what is THAT" *taps screen* "Ah..."

The next part would be the favourite part of any British person as what follows is a 20 minute queue to get o the slide. A guy takes a photo of you, you read seven different signs about safety, and you get arm pads and gloves fitted onto you. Something funny I noticed was that they were offering GoPro recordings at an upcharge of around £12 but hilariously face masks were still mandatory so they wouldn't have been worth it at all. Though people still did buy the GoPro upcharge... gotta be honest I don't understand the motive behind that if you can't see what the person involved is feeling.

It was eventually my turn to go and it was something alright. Its fast and intense and fun. Funny thing I genuinely do not have much to say about the actual slide itself, just everything else. But it is very enjoyable. At the bottom of the slide a few people ask how it was and then you will say "it was great, thank you!" to every single one of them.

Afterwards you're allowed to grab your stuff from the locker and go back up to take photos, and since you've already used the slide, you'll endure the stairs for the way down instead. I say endure but I enjoyed the stairs quite a bit. This would absolutely be the best part of the day for any stair obsessive - I know you lot are out there faffing around or something.


The final photos were taken on an interesting bench that encourages you to lay down on it and you get this view. Nice.

I then left and went home. Fun day. I highly recommend it. Just try to ignore the fact that it's in Stratford.

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 17: New Year's Snooze

Something I failed to mention in the previous part is that a particularly eventful New Year's Day resulted in me staying up until 7am that day, predictably causing my sleep schedule to fall backwards catastrophically. I arrived late to the final day of Winter Wonderland, slept in until literally one hour before I had to leave for my job (for reference I start in the late afternoon) and not sleeping until 3am, consistently. In short, backwards sleep scheduling is nothing short of a disaster to work with. Halfway through January it still was not fixed and it was the last weekend for a roller coaster in Lakeside Shopping Centre to disappear off the face of the earth, in my zombie eyes presumably forever as is what I think with every single travelling coaster. Gives me a sense of urgency to go I guess, or just "fear of missing out" kicking in in full swing. Think it's the latter. ...It's definitely the latter.

This visit was literally the day after my trip to the Arcelor in Mittal, Orbit as New Year's Snooze as I like to call it kicked in so hard that I didn't want to do both in the same day. I bring this up because getting to Lakeside is a full run of the Jubilee line (sound familiar?) to West Ham, one stop from Stratford. It would have been so much easier to just do both in the same day. But my decisions are something that I question every single day.

Getting off at West Ham leads you to a National Rail service with, in my eyes, the most confusing ticket method imaginable. I prebooked tickets from West Ham to Chafford Hundred without knowing they didn't do either online or physical tickets. Question one - why isn't there a place to scan my ticket? Question two - they didn't support e-tickets in the first place so I need to find a guy who can print my tickets, why is there literally no one here to do this? Turns out that you have to tap in and out with your card, basically the same technology they use for tapping in and out of the Underground. Huh.

The plan was to leave the house at 1pm to get to Lakeside for 3pm, with the shopping centre closing at 5 and the actual fair itself closing at 8. But if the shopping centre closed then I presume that place'll be off limits and you have to, brace yourself, walk around the shopping centre to get back to the station. Unfortunately due to New Year's Snooze I didn't leave the house until 3pm, leaving me to get to the shopping centre at 4:40, twenty minutes before the shopping centre closed.

The fair had a Super Trooper, Waltzer, Sizzler, Wacky Worm, Big Wheel, Booster, and some other kiddie stuff. I went in with the intention of doing the coaster and at least a few of that stuff but my body thought otherwise and refused to cooperate. With myself fighting the right to keep my eyes open, and a sickly feeling as a result of that and a lack of food in my stomach, I felt awful so I rode #116 Crazy Caterpillar which costed a fiver then soullessly walked out and left, hearing the announcement that the shopping centre is closing as I walk back through it to the train station.


Back at the station I go to a nearby Tesco Express to buy myself a meal deal that included a 'scamwich' which sell and profit on the basis of deceiving the buyer into thinking the filling has more than what the outside shows. Again, due to the snooze, this was my first "proper" food of the day so I kind of had to do it. At this point you can start painting a picture as to just how bad an incorrect sleep schedule can get, and if it's backwards right now for you, you can understand these January blues.

It gave me a bit of a reality check, and forced myself to factory reset as I fixed the sleep schedule to become normal again. Until next New Year's Day where I wait patiently for the exact same thing to repeat itself. With joy, I welcome it with open arms as the night of chaos that precedes it makes it all worth it.

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 18: Runaway Train Runaway Train

With parks still snoozing and Blackpool charging full price with half their rides shut, I once again relied on travelling fairs reawakening in order to up the count. This one had two coasters and was doable enough by public transport (with reasonable enough pricing) that it justified a visit. Delayed one week by a rough storm, I finally made the trek.

Yes, it's another 'take the Underground to Waterloo' trip and we're far from done with those unfortunately. This time we're powering down to Byfleet & New Haw with a short walk down to Brooklands Community Park for Beach's Valentines Fair. Enthusiasts who double as environmentalists absolutely should not be taking this walk unless they want to cry.

The place you have to walk through, it's a miserable excuse for a town. It just feels corporate. Like people just live there to have a walkable commute to work or something. It's legitimately a place I cannot bring up any redeeming qualities for, maaaaaybe except for some plane museum I didn't go to. And the field. You're gonna have to try harder, mayor guy dude or whoever. Would asking them to try at all be acceptable too? Don't care about if it's not, my answer is yes.

"Today is a great day to not be in Byfleet & New Haw..."


"...Damn it."

The walk from the station to the fair was not great. The smell of cigarettes, vehicle fumes and hopelessness was overpowering with corporation corporation corporation everywhere you see. Two car dealerships next to each other, hey a tire service that might also be a petrol station, uh oh! No trees to be seen here, what the hell are those? Look the biggest Tesco I've ever seen, stupid storage facility for some superpower brand that starts with A that I don't even want to mention the full name of. Wait where am I going? Oh hey, we're at the fair.

I've never seen such a comical jump in niceness. Ice cream van in the distance. Can't go wrong with a Screwball, and finally I'm in my place. Finished my ice cream. "I came here to chew gum and gain creds, and I'm all outta gum."

#117 Runaway Train provided some fun and decent laterals in the back seat.


#118 Runaway Train provided some fun and decent laterals in the back seat.


Mission: Space was one of those mini starflyers and not a high G force centrifuge like that thing at Epcot. Disappointed in myself I know that. Nice views of the surrounding field, I didn't want to remember anything past that.


Haven't done a Super Trooper since 2019 and I remember not liking it - thankfully after this one I changed my mind. Super Trooper was a ridiculously fun ride, my next task with one of these is to find a cycle that runs backwards as the ride system's able to do that.


And hats off to Waltza for having one of, no, THE most enthusiastic Waltzer op I have ever seen, creating an extremely memorable ride experience. Think I fist bumped the dude but can't remember; I hope I did.


I was done after the Waltza. They had some extremely retro Ferris Wheel that I sadly skipped due to my thing with going downwards while upright that I think I've mentioned several times in this forum now. I often question myself if that was the right decision, yes it would've been nice to ride it but I can't risk it sometimes. Maybe if it pops up closer to home. The thing is... I'm not gonna get used to stuff by skipping them am I? Is this the beginning of my 'do EVERYTHING at least once' arc?

Anyway, on the way back I bumped into some dodgy fellas which solidified this place as officially terrible, and at home I was back into safe arms. I'm sure I wouldn't be typing up this trip report if I if so blinked at them in the wrong direction.

The next day...

"Today is a great day to not be in Byfleet & New Haw..."

"... :) "

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 19: Third One

With parks just barely opening their eyes for the season I did what any normal person wouldn't and start off with travelling a silly distance for such a tiny park that I was done with it in under 30 minutes. Spoiler - I'm writing this in June and it's already happened three more times with a fourth one coming right up. Says a lot about the quality of rides I'm crossing off so far, but they're +1s, so I don't care. It's also good training for when I do this exact thing in different countries; who fancies running through the Wacky Worms of Armenia's capital?

Funland Hayling Island could've been tied in with my Portsmouth trip somehow as bus services link the two together, but thankfully a new coaster opened here half a year after my visit there, so I would've had to repeat that trip anyway.

Some coaster friends on discord discussed how catastrophically bad this park is, and laughed in their faces when they announced they were getting Twist n Joust from Gullivers Milton Keynes. So expecting the worst, I booked a train ticket from Waterloo (again) down to Havant. An obvious joke about how I 'havant' been to this park before would be funny, but in fact I have! According to my parents this was the first park I ever went to and we bought an onride photo of the log flume. Don't think I credded anything there though.

From Havant it's a short walk to the bus station where you want to take either the 30 or 31 bus down to 'Beachlands' which is a one minute walk from the park. Be warned a return ticket is £7.70 a head - they know this place is filled with tourists.

And for those interested,


It's a less than impressive bridge crossing from the mainland across the isn'tland to the island.

#119 Runaway Mine Train provided some fun and decent laterals in the back (left) seat. Best new coaster of the year so far (not difficult).


#120 Spinosaurus was, like everything below the Reverchons; a spinner that doesn't 'spin' but rather 'rotates gently so you can feel the turns in different directions'. Oddly fun when you're facing outwards when you take a corner. Like with every other spinner, or 'rotator' for that matter. Either way its marginally better than the SBF figure eights but doesn't quite square up against Tidal Wave.


Cyclone Twister ended up being the best ride of the day, a Sizzler that doesn't mess around and just cranks up to full speed immediately. Good ride. Most comfortable ride seats, ever.


After one more ride on RMT I left. Nothing else there interested me, the Ghost Train wasn't ready, and the big log flume was shut. Their flying jumbos are from Liseberg though apparently so that's a nice touch, but skip. Everything else was for kids and I don't like Miami Trips.

Train thing I didn't do.


And the sea being nice.


One last look back.


And this was my view for the next ten minutes, watching Spinosaurus test while I waited for a bus back home. Didn't do the mini golf because I couldn't be arsed spending more than one minute finding the entrance, though in hindsight it would've been nice.


Good place to spend half an hour at, though I would recommend tying on Clarence & South Parade Pier as well if you have none of the credz down there.
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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 20: Midhampton

My expectations for parks with coasters started rapidly lowering as options viable by public transport were starting to run out - I've crossed off loads of them in 2021. Today I lowered the bar further than I ever have before, and settled on travelling almost four hours for a Wacky Worm.
Four. Hours.
At least the train was £9 return though Germany tells me they can do better.

The park in question was Harbour Park Amusements down in Littlehampton. I arrived in London Victoria 40 minutes before my scheduled departure, didn't find out the platform until 7 minutes before departure, and was quite literally the furthest I could be from the platform. After a quick jog down I thankfully hopped on in time, somehow with some minutes to spare.

Another day, another "ten minutes' walk from the station to the park". My departure from Littlehampton back home was exactly one hour after my arrival - created with full intention of making things a nightmare (and training for future cred runs), which worked. Partially.

Got to the park...


...then dropped a tenner on riding three things, the first one being #121 Ocean Coaster.


The second one was Water Chute, with a strangely powerful splash that drenched me to my core and amused onlookers quite a bit.


And Whirlpool Waltzer, the last one, I can't remember if it was running auto mode (no ops that spin) or assisted mode (ops that spin). Those terms I just made up. Either way the ride was alright.


With that the park was done and I strolled up to the South Coast beach, again. At this point I was lost on things to do and I'd spent only twenty five ish minutes here, so aimlessly wandered around the end of the lands until it was time to dip. Bought a rock. Bought sugar doughnuts even though I don't like them at all. Stopped eating them after the halfway point.


I stalled until my train was due to depart in fourteen minutes, now thirteen, then I begun the walk back. It was a chaotic speedwalk but I did this on purpose remember? Got to the station and hopped on with a couple minutes to spare as I made my merry way back. For some reason it wasn't a direct route back so I got off at Ford and waited for a train from there back to Victoria.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 21: A Discovery

Another day, another trip down south for one of those blasted Wacky Worms. Can't get enough of them.

For the first time in forever we drove to a cred and for that reason this part is void of travel notes as we got to the Finsbury Park Funfair.

Almost every ride at this fair was found at Hyde Park Winter Wonderland at some point - the showman hosting this fair is Manning who has a good connection with HPWW, so it wouldn't be an unsafe bet to think the new ride (the reason we're REALLY here) would be going down there this year. (It did)

#122 Crazy Caterpillar, wow. Just wow. This may be my 15th unique Wacky Worm but WOW this is an incredible ride. This one stands out from the rest as an astonishing display of creativity and "going out there" providing an experience that no other Wacky Worm has provided before. "What DOES this Wacky Worm provide?" cry the masses, and while I can't yet reveal what it's secret is until the end, I can first cover everything else in intricate detail and why this ride is such an engineering marvel beforehand.

First of all, nothing beats the philosophy of a Coaster Counter stumbling into a funfair, and having the iconic structure of a Wacky Worm being slowly revealed to their eyes. An anticipated +0 turns into an anticipated +1, though not guaranteed as first we need to check to see if it really is a Wacky Worm we haven't done before. Some close up inspections and comparisons to previous Wacky Worms indeed confirm that this one is brand new, and the Coaster Counter is overjoyed with emotions they are unable to keep in. It IS a +1!

But first, we need tokens to pay for the Wacky Worm and ride it so then we investigate its pricing. How much do I have to cough up? One pound? A fiver? Turns our that this one costs three quid. Three Great British Pound Sterling! But in the end its all worth it because it is a plus, one, to, the, count. If I never rode a Wacky Worm in my life my cred count would be down by fourteen, now fifteen! And this is something that we simply cannot accept. I know some masses cry "STOP THE COUNT!" but I power forwards with full intention of continuing and going harder than ever, losing control in the process but with a smile on my face.

With my three tokens in one hand I come down to the unsuspecting operator who stands ready to take my currency, but not exactly from the age range he was anticipating. Excitedly parking myself into the back seat, I hear dreaded words that suddenly fill my mind with depression.

"To the front, please"

My head is now consisting of the five stages of grief.

Denial. I cannot be moving to the front. He didn't tell me to go down to the front. This is my second Wacky Worm in a row where I have to move down the row. Has the World of Wacky Worms really peaked with Crazy Caterpillar, ironically of the same name, as Pettitts? Maybe it is all downhill from here?

Anger. The World doesn't understand Coaster Counters. Society doesn't understand Coaster Counters. Mr. Operator whose shift is done in an hour just doing what he's told by management doesn't understand Coaster Counters. When is my next back seat experience on a Wacky Worm? I can't believe I haven't gotten one since January. (PLEASE note that this isn't what I'm like in real life I just said 'okay' and walked down this whole thing is being exaggerated for comedic effect okay)

Bargaining. ...Did he actually ask me to move down to the front? Maybe I do have to. Maybe the train has to be front loaded so it can run through and finish the course. It's only best for the system but what if it could still complete the circuit with me chilling in the back so I can get that potential elusive Wacky Worm airtime?

Depression. I'm not getting this back row ride. I'm never getting back row on any Wacky Worm again. I'm never getting back row on any coaster with assigned seating again. I'm never getting back row on any coaster outright again. I'm gonna trundle along the course doing nothing and there is not a thing I can do about it.

Acceptance. I get out of my seat and move down to the front. I guess I can't get back row of every single Wacky Worm I do, it's only fair that things keep even with some back some middle and some front row rides. Perhaps front is better than the back after all? Maybe I wouldn't have gotten any airtime at all after all in the back? Would I have gotten ejected out of my seat and just outright died on that big drop?The op knows what's best for me. It's best for me to follow his instruction. I park myself into the front and pull down my lap bar which the op checks twice.

And we're off. We dip down a fantastic two feet and we're cruising around the corner. I look to my right and see the incredible Avenger flat ride loading up its next riders. The lift engages, and clank! clank! clank! I realise that I'm on a WACKY WORM! My emotions fuel me. We're at the top of the lift! Giving me incredible panoramic views of the fair, I see classics such as a Sizzler, Waltzer, Discovery, Remix and Freak Out plus so much more. We're doing perhaps the most iconic part of all Wacky Worms now - the little humps at the top of the ride. While they didn't hit as hard as other Wacky Worms admittedly, they were still an absolute blast to ride and I was overjoyed with excitement as we're on a roller coaster, for Christ's sake! Who doesn't have fun on a roller coaster?! And then we're turning, and turning some more...

And then the big drop comes in to view. Anticipation reaches sky high levels. Will it trim? How fast will we be flying down that drop? Avenger is running its cycle now, what a beautiful view! But wait! The DROP!

We go down. It doesn't gain the supersonic pace that Pettitts does but it's not as speedless as the one at Botton's. I feel like I've said exactly this before... can't remember where. Might be in the Coaster Hunting Mission. Might be in the Roller Searching Task (spoilers?). But wherever it is, it's out there. Somewhere?

This, this next part, is where Crazy Caterpillar sets itself apart from EVERY other Wacky Worm that I've done. The track CHANGES COLOUR. From pink to yellow! How does this happen? How did this happen? Who came up with such an impeccably brilliant idea? I love it, so much! It brought joy to my face. The greatest smile of all. Forget the back seat. Forget the trim. Forget Marble Madness's existence for good measure, it's an awful ride. THIS is what makes coasters good. Random changes in track colour. It's a symbol of perfection. It's a symbol of fantasticness. It's a symbol of an ascension devised by a supernatural being higher than God himself.

I'm crying. I'm in tears. I'm in disbelief. We cross over the yellow track, only for it to turn purple again as we cross into the station.

And then the op sent me round two more times so I could relive the moments, every single moment of the ride as a matter of fact. I thanked the op as I got off, for he is a legend who must be worshipped.

It all makes sense now. The front seat. The trims. The three tokens. The ride coming into view as I walk down the fair. The Oasis bottle I put on the station floor as I got into my car. It ALL alludes to the YELLOW TURNAROUND. I understand everything now, and I am truly blown away by the weight of everything as it crushes and overwhelms me.


Sizzler was a fantastic ride of its kind that ran in both directions. I think I prefer going forwards though, but my mum thought otherwise.


Now it's time for the star of the show, a KMG Discovery v2 that came into the UK from Australia.

Well... Avenger was pandemonium. Starting almost immediately with a 15 flip chain before a stupidly long hangtime section followed by relentless rotating for the next two minutes. Chaos, to put it simply. To make this whole story immediately sound fake half the people on board started applauding after the cycle was done, and the op photobombed my triumphs after the ride before shaking my hand before we parted ways. Avenger will snugly sit into my top five flat rides.


(Randomly picked some photos from the 40+ that were taken, and by sheer coincidence almost all of them are of when the car was upside down!)

With that done we were running short of time so we opted to ride the Ghost Train. To our spooks there was a highly amusing live actor in it which made things infinitely better and infinitely funnier. He makes up for the ride's lack of (any) hardware.

We left due to the fair closing up, we arrived very shortly before closing. We met back up with my dad & my dog who were denied entry to the fair because of a 'no dogs' policy, then drove home.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 22: Spite n Save

I'll admit these recent trips are starting to get a little copy and paste. The general consensus for all the trips so far this year has been "I travelled really far for one ride, I maybe rode something else, I left not one hour later". Simply put - I've exhausted the majority of good coasters in this country and the ones remaining are simply either too faffy or too expensive to get to. But if I keep lowering my expectations... more doors open up. Do I plan on stopping this? No. Never. There's still several more on the cards...


Travel notes didn't involve much - a trek down to London Bridge rail station which ran directly to Hastings. From there ten minute walk to the park. The end.

At Flamingo Park the Zamperla spinning coaster was sadly off the cards right from the start. Its entire area was closed off, it's the middle of May and half the park is closed. Huh? I wandered in, failed to ask for a time frame when the coaster will open in order to mark a potential later date, and hopped on the Ghost Train. Was 'aight.

That was it from the park.

With an hour and a bit to burn I decided to see what else Hastings has to offer, and with knowledge that the pier's kiddie cred had gone AWOL I headed in the opposite direction and stumbled across an aquarium.


And with that ticked off, I hastingsly took some photos of the cliffs and sea, with trains and a bungee show. May or may not have had a go if I had more time.


With that my time in the area was done, and I was in the train to return to London Bridge at the scheduled departure, 90 minutes after arriving.

Unsatisfied with the lack of cred gains I discovered a fair kicking around in Queensbury, thought to myself "huh, hey, woah this is a neat idea" and took the plunge. This was a bit of a gamble as it was a "family fun fair" and I didn't even know if it had a cred, but lo and behold...


It did. #123 Runaway Train (AGAIN) provided some fun and decent laterals in the back seat, and Twister ran a beautifully long cycle.


Dunno how to end things off here. I'll guess I'll stick with a "will go back for the coaster once I know it's open". And maybe stay an hour longer, because it is a neat little place.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 23 - Reprise

And still we will be here...
And still we will be here...
And still we will be heeeeeeere.......

I'm back in Lakeside for a brand new Wacky Worm in their shopping centre. All of the rides that were there in January are now travelling bar one, and to compensate they got a brand new Wacky Worm. Course I have to go on my first available Saturday.

At least this time I'm not suffering from New Year's Snooze.

We know how to get here at this point. West Ham to Chafford Hundred blah blah blah. You walk past this upside down house which is quite entertaining, here are some photos from when I revisited this place in either February or March I can't remember:


Obviously the idea here is to have a photoshoot where you interact with the stuff here, then rotate the photo 180 degrees so you're the one upside down. I did it a few times - the results are pretty fun.

And you can see the Dartford Crossing from the bridge that links the shopping centre and the rail station.


Once again I walk straight past everything and misery-guts-me wanders into the area with the coaster.

#124 Gold Express is the country's newest Wacky Worm, straight out of the factory.


Ferris wheels still make me uneasy but I fought my discomfort surrounding them by riding Sky Club Wheel. The blimp most likely was advertising the major football game in Wembley later on today, which explained me leaving early and not having the time to explore the actual shopping centre itself for once. Maybe on my inevitable fourth visit here. I eventually got slightly used to the wheel but that doesn't mean I didn't welcome getting off.


Job done, let's go home. When's the next Worm coming? I know.

Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 24 - Old Macdonald's Farm

A quick preface - this park's Ts&Cs states that no adult without a child can enter, but the park is more than willing to let you in if you shoot them a friendly email. While having my tickets scanned I was never asked about the whole thing, though in fairness me and my buddy do indeed look pretty young.

Welcome! You know what we're doing today - a farm! By who? Good ol' Macdonald of course. But why? Roller coaster! It has a roller coaster? What roller coaster? A Wacky Worm. We haven't done that before, have we? SBF MX48-D, with extra straight track for absolutely no reason, why are they there we don't know but who cares.

This is the home of what will be my fifth new Wacky Worm of 2022, tying my 2021 count halfway through the year. If that's not a good sign I don't know what is. For a nice change I dragged a buddy along for this one; not lonely this time around.

#125 Doggy Dog, despite the different theme and the extra straight track, is just another Wacky Worm.


And with that followed a loop of the park, admiring several different creatures and crawlers.


If you're travelling towards Essex from London by motor vehicle across the M25 you'll have passed by this park as it's very very easily visible. In the park you can cross a bridge over the pig pen to look right at the stuff speeding by, though I have to admit I wasn't as impressed with the views as I thought I was going to be. Though I'm not sure what I was expecting, it is exactly what it looks like. Just some reeeeally fast cars. Mainly trucks though.

Anyway, we continued our loop:


When we were done I bought some ice cream, left my drink bottle on the counter, and wandered out.

Well, backlog complete. Time for me to go on actual trips now before I can add some more nonsense to my count.

Oh yeah, and travel notes - we drove. No trains or taxis to be seen here.
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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
-1 to the count as I've decided that counting ridgeriders is simply a step too far.

Part 25: Babylon Park Camden

Here's a nice short break from the worms and the sand, but not for long. The UK's newest cred (until Flamingossus opens a week after this did) is located quite literally underground down in Camden Town in a highly long-awaited FEC that we really desparately need more of.

What we don't need more of is extortionate pricing.

A week before we got here we heard a story on how they decided to shut the coaster at 7.45, two hours and fifteen minutes before it was supposed to do so. We were due to arrive for 7.30, fully expecting massive faff with getting tokens (or 'coins') for the ride, and then fully expecting for the ride to close in our faces as we arrive.

We find out that the lowest coin pack we can get costs £10 which provides us with 96 (strange number?) coins, and one ride on the coaster costs 80 coins. Should mention that Babylon Park seems to be an Israelian company as some words were still in Hebrew.

I can ride my actual #1 in Hyde Park for less than it costs to ride this SBF single helix coaster.

After getting a card with your coins on it it asks if you want a receipt, and pressing 'yes' for some reason asks you to enter your phone number which we quickly backed out of. With £21 out of our banks, it's £1 to get a card but topping an existing one is free, we head down two floors for the glory.

Thankfully the ride was still open and actually remained open for the rest of the day. Dispatches were very slow but didn't matter since it was a station wait. The cars are HUGE, some of the biggest I've seen of a 2x2 car formation.

We picked the very back seat of #125 E.R.S. and passed the time by smattering about SBF and consequently making fun of Italian engineers; this would be proven true shortly with a hilarious jolt to the left on the ride's right-turning helix followed by a hill that provides no airtime (admittedly expected). It brakes after the front car makes it halfway through the 180 curve back to the station; I would think this would provide comedic and unexpected laterals. Three more circuits, aww it's over.

It was goodfunny enough to spend another twenty quid for a second ride where we determined that it was a good idea to face backwards through the helix which resulted in hilarity.


Quite suspicious.

We did a round of the 'Rock The Rim' basketball game before grabbing a tub of ice cream that was twice the price of what it should've been, then wandered out.

It's weird but it's funny, and reminded me firmly of how good company can increase the enjoyment of a trip tenfold.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 26: Leisure Island Fun Park & Canvey Tourism

The hiatus from wacky worms and the south coast was never going to be a long one. We're back in these grounds already. Canvey Island has a fun park designed for people "between 18 months and 9 years" but this wasn't going to stop me from wandering in.

The original plan for the trip was to do an incredibly early start down to Selsey for the funfair in the West Sands before speeding off to the island, but this (barely) didn't work as I wouldn't have gotten there for the time the rest of my group did. So that'll be an independent trip, most likely. Unless I can tie something else on that's just as silly.

We hopped in the car to Canvey and arrived to a sea wall overlooking a sad sandless sea.

Enough of that, hang on is this Skegness we're in?

Turns out that this wasn't the place. Fantasy Island and Leisure Island operate entirely separately despite quite literally being a six second walk from each other. This time I correctly powered into Leisure Island, bought three tokens and hopped onto the back seat of #126 Go Gator which takes adults. Sat in the back, the final hill into the station was quite tight and made me hold on (!).

Just the minimum amount needed. See the reflection of the other coaster? #unintendedmasterpiece

#127 Wacky Worm was also designed by minimalists but had some fun-loving operators who have a microphone, tell everyone "you're gonna put your hands up cus we're going extra fast down the drop this time!!" and high five people through the station. It was an excellent laugh that made a thoroughly unimpressive piece of hardware stand out from the crowd.

Won't open today.


With the fun park done we headed towards a beach (with sand!!!!), I went up to my neck in the bay, and dried off in the sun over the next couple hours as I didn't bring a towel.

On our way back the tide had gone out, where the once sandless waves did in fact have sand hiding beneath them.

The parks had closed by now but I had a gander at some sleeping credz.

Magnificent beings.

And with a couple more looks at the waters, we were ready to head out three minutes before our parking ran out.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
Part 27 - West Sands Fun Fair & Other Random Stuff

Let's just put things straight- if you're opening this thread expecting a big roller coaster then you might as well just clock out from here.

Anyone still here? 6 of you? Alright, let's continue.

Issues started immediately on the day this was happening as the bus I decided to take was the last one I could've taken to arrive to the train station that I needed. All for 20 more minutes of sleep. Maps told me that I was due to arrive at London Victoria for 11:49, giving me more than enough time for my train at 12:05. Right?

10:51. Bus is supposed to arrive by now. I look down the road to find ten thousand cars stuck in a traffic jam and no bus to be seen.

10:55. Bus is still nowhere, still a massive congregation of cars stuck behind a red light doing nothing every two minutes for two minutes.

10:57. Bus arrives, stopped by the red light. I finally get on at 10:59, and if everything goes perfectly I'll have now six minutes to get off Victoria Underground station, and onto my journey to Chichester at conveniently the furthest platform from where you come up out from the underground.

The five stops coming up to Victoria Underground was pretty damn stressful but a combination of fastwalking and speedrunning the 'tap out' thingy I was running to Platform 17 where my train awaited, and I got on, to my shock a full five minutes before we set off. How.

Doesn't always have to end badly does it?

I moved up towards carriage 4 as carriages 5 through 12 were getting divided at Horsham to go towards ol' Bog. Nothing happened on the train, as it should, and we were in Chichester.

It was a three minute trek to the bus station where my wallet got on £7.80 cheaper as I rode down to West Sands. Don't 'Sel-say' I didn't warn you.

Cathedral thingy:

Cornfield thingy:

Windmill thingy:

It's an awkward walk through West Sands Caravan Park to the fair. At the place each ride is £3 cash only but you can convert from card at the wristband stall.

I walk up to #128 Big Apple, with the op warning me that "It's gonna be a long wait" which I was more than fine with. "Don't worry, got all the time in the world mate." The op had collaborated with a Waltzer guy in order to get some families on the Worm, and luckily enough we got enough people to get it going. A kid who sat in the middle got wildly upset that he had to move forward one row (so the parent could fit) and threatened to get off the ride entirely, but eventually caved in. After nine minutes, we got going.

The coaster itself sits in the top half of Wacky Worms I've done, thank god.

I wasn't feeling Waltzery and the Sizzler was spiting which I probably would've skipped anyway so I got a hot dog and walked out.

What else does this place have to offer then? A beach.

Saw this abandoned park, but it turned out to instead be an abandoned mini golf course.

Walking towards the beach I made an error in judgment. I had unevenly distributed the mustard across my hot dog, causing a large dollop to be on one bit and nothing on another. I didn't want to use my fingers to redistribute the mustard evenly, so had the bright idea to use my serviette which worked perfectly, but now I have a mustard-soaked tissue in one hand without a bin literally anywhere to be seen.

After seeking out a bin for what felt like the longest six minutes of my life I finally found one, and...

...what's that? A Rock-O-Plane? I know where I'm going next.

But first, water and rocks.

You can see the Portsmouth stuff sillying about in the distance, anyone with a megazoom camera could probably get some shots from afar of Clarence Pier, but I'm not sure why you'd want to.

Now we were going to see the Rock-O-Plane, the 1950's(?) glory in person. I had to walk through the entirety of the caravan park from bottom to top, but finally got to the fair and had to find it from screaming and smoke as I couldn't see the damn thing until I was there.

Turns out it was a standard retro Ferris Wheel, with some standard flats (open air Waltzer and a Rotor) with an Avicii tribute band. Looked like a good day out for families.

Loads of people were faffing at the entrance doing absolutely nothing; I decided it wasn't worth the time or effort and walked back to the windmill where I debated staying here any longer but the bus waiting at the nearby stop was the universe telling me it was time to go.


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Rob Coasters

Hyper Poster
London Undergound and a bus for the Selsey worm.
And they say I'm mad.
Good work.
A couple months ago it was written off as 'too much effort' but look where we are now. Time flies, and standards lower just as quickly.

Part 28: Oakwood Theme Park

Travel notes: Drove, was part of a holiday in South West Wales which'll be up at some point.

They call Oakwood the eighth wonder of the world; a place of magic and wonder that few souls have ever heard of before. Home to what will be by far the biggest creds of the year as of writing this (not difficult), it's a place I've been anticipating for the past couple months (or alternatively, ever since this Wales holiday was announced). I've heard about how this park is incredible, I've heard about how this park is godawful.

Let's get straight to it.

Something I've never heard, and something no one ever talked about, is that you can hop on a train to get to the park which offers a lovely scenic ride further down the park. Nice discovery right there.

Let's get the crap out of the way now. #129 Creepy Crawler started off nicely as I was called forward walking straight past two trains worth of a queue as there wasn't a soul who was in a group smaller than three, so I got on very quickly.

Glad to have it over and done with though, it's a bit crap indeed. The valleys are quite uncomfortable and not really in the good way, but admittedly it does have its alright parts such as the 'crossover' bit and the helix five seconds after which was quite good. It shares some similarities with its Wicksteed counterpart, but unfortunately Wicksteed outshines it in almost every aspect. I like not holding onto the restraint, and my arms were shuffled absolutely everywhere during the ride, so I think that's my fault. Got some souvenirs of the ride in the form of some marks. Masterpiece.

Up next wasn't a coaster, but instead the skycoaster Vertigo. I did a different version to this back in year 6 on our PGL trip which was a permanently upright swingset instead of lying forwards, but other than that experience 9 (?) years ago this stuff is a stranger to me.

When you're ready to be lifted, a surprisingly terrifying part is where you have to fall forwards in order to get yourselves into the lying position which was scaaaaary. The actual lift itself is full of yourself questioning what you're doing with your life, when suddenly you stop ascending and hear a "THREE, TWO, ONE" shout from one of the ops.

Then the cord is pulled. The two initial swings had me screaming for my life, but everything else was fine. It's an incredible experience, and again I have to reemphasise just how good those first two swings are. Eventually we slowed down, waved to passing strangers, and made conversation with one of the ops while we slowed down. The following conversation once we were actually finished went like this:
Op: "So how was it?"
Us: "It was alright, yeah"
"Only alright?"
"Yeah it was really good yeah, I really enjoyed it"
Think the correct word for us was 'speechless'.

Anyway, that's done. Next up was Waterfall, and in comical timing we walk up to it right as someone blunders in majestic fashion, utterly drenching them. Good sign. The queue was spent watching every single person, and seeing the around 35-40% chance of a blunder. Love it.

I was in the group who managed to survive but walked off with a soaked shirt and shorts. Welcomed it because it was boiling. Everyone else in my group survived, but I'm not sure if I wanted to see at least one le epic failness.

Up next was #130 Speed, and four of the five people in our group decided to take it up. They turned to me to ask how bad it was, where I stuttered because I intentionally hadn't done research on it in order to go in with an open mind. The general consensus with Gersts in our group is we love Rage but they hate Saw.

The drop was filled with the loudest any of us had ever screamed (again) with some funny sounds spawning from our mouths over the powerful ejector hill and the questionably shaped overbank which I was able to brace for. The loop was the most unremarkable part of the ride and we got our way to the midcourse. One almost-hangtime filled roll later, we got to the finale with me almost seeing stars on the helix and hitting the brake run highly impressed.

The rest of my group was not impressed. In a horrifyingly comedic fashion I somehow managed to get by far the smoothest ride of them all, with the rest of the group reluctant to talk about it and downing water and Pringles before moving out of the area to somewhere with slightly less Gerst roar.

Despite their experience we immediately soldiered onto #131 Treetops as one of them feared that a long break would put them off rides for the rest of the day, so we had to ride that high while it was still there. Everyone made their way to the front but the operator seemingly noticed my Storm Chaser shirt and told me "the back is faster" so I made my way to the furthest back row that was empty.

These Tivolis are good fun, I think I'm enjoying these double figure eight models more than the average Zyklon these days. Love the location too.

Their Huss tower had an interesting mechanism where you could vote for either a three launch mode, or a drop tower segment before a couple more launches. Unfortunately I never rode it as I simply just had other stuff to do, but will definitely give it a try if I ever find myself here again.

The most intriguing thing I noticed is that all three launches go up to the same height, which leads me to think this exact model could have been inspiration for the launch towers in RCT and Parkitect.

The "other stuff to do" included this water slide. I did the indoor one, Snake River Falls (Cobra), and it was quite spooky. Inside those tunnels is complete pitch black darkness where you have not a clue as to where you're going - good slide.

After Cobra I realised that I'd walked straight past Neverland which housed #132 Crocodile Coaster, which left me as speechless as Vertigo did.

After this, two of the party had to dip out to leave the Wales holiday early as they prefer shorter getaways. They got on the park's Bobkart before leaving, which was "alright yeah".

Real deal now.

The woodie had been looming over us all day, I was intentionally leaving it till last so I could give it all the time in the world for it to warm up enough for it to be good. I was clueless on what the layout was, first time I've gone into a coaster blindly and legitimately not knowing a sniff of what it did since Family Star back in August of last year.

I hop into the back seat of #133 Megafobia, a coaster I was anticipating for a good couple weeks to be the Olympia dethroner and the new number one becomer.

I throw my hands up on the top of the first drop, and get harshly slammed downwards at the bottom of the drop.

It's a brutal ride, let me get that out of the way immediately. There are slams at seemingly random spots with no pattern though with a few runs you can start gathering where they are as they still have consistent locations. Despite that, Megafobia sits proudly at my number one spot.

It's a brutal, unrelenting, merciless gauntlet that literally does not let up until the final brakes. It's an exhausting drug where I hit the brake run thinking "that's the last ride of the day for me" but one Capri Sun later I'm running back in the queue making a beeline for the back row for another lap where the process repeats word for word.

I came off my first ride speechless and in silence (same thing, really). All I could sputter out was "I'm doing it again, that's my new number one".

My onride photo of my first ever ride explains everything - not knowing what to do with my hands: hold on for my life or throw my hands up until the next time I get thrown?, and a face that expresses seven different emotions. It's an abusively incredible ride and I didn't even sit anywhere near the front on any of my four rides; back row supremacy is where it's at.

Rides two three and four I was getting slightly more used to the ride, well the first half of it. That second half of the ride is a chaotic rumble of sheer mayhem that I simply just cannot put into words, and when the brakes hit your jaw is just open as you try to process what the hell just happened.

Despite everything it throws, it's an impossibility to not want to just throw your hands up as nothing stops it from roaring through a fantastically done layout and you have no clue what's coming up next. In my eyes, perfection.

It's going to redefine what parks I want to go to next. The sheer power of Megafobia made me realise I'm not ready for the likes of Zadra or Ride To Happiness. It's going to all be far too much to take in, and I'll be regrettably tapped out after two rides on them. The insanity of Megafobia made me realise that my number one needs to be something that builds up slowly, and can't be an obscene jump in intensity from number two.

Megafobia made me realise just how good coasters might be. If any reasonably well travelled person has this at #56 or whatever or is even remotely underwhelmed by this ride, then there's so much more to coasters than what I originally thought. I gotta pace myself. Wildfire's going to have to wait a little longer. Untamed's going to have to wait a little longer. Lech's going to have to wait a little longer.

And I still need to do it when it rains.

I wish I could've done it more but I've got some additional box ticking to do (don't worry, it's the good type of box ticking). Bobsleigh was my first taste of a Bobkart, and wimpy me had to slow down on the corners. I admittedly would've gone full send (or at least would've tried) had there not been a sign telling me there's risk of me flipping the car if I take a corner at five hundred mph. Either way, fun.

The finale of box ticking was Skull Rock, a pleasant end to the day on another soaking water ride. Perfect way to round things off...

...but with 20 minutes until ride closure I wanted a quickfire round. I absolutely aced my second run of Waterfall with a perfect skim with my phone in my pocket, and solidified my opinion of Speed, though this time the jolly up to the midcourse from the loop was rather rattly. Other than that, it was smooth and retains its high placement.

Megafobia had closed ten minutes early to an "Oh well" from me as I made my way back to the entrance and back on the train.

Oakwood was a brilliantly fun park. It was nothing like I was expecting, and it's immediately jumped into being one of my favourite parks. Too bad it's in the middle of nowhere then.

I do hope this park stays with us for a long time.


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Matt N

CF Legend
Great report @Rob Coasters; glad you enjoyed your day!

One thing I would say to you is that I wouldn’t worry about finding the likes of Zadra etc too intense, because intensity (and ride quality) is very subjective.

For instance, I’m less well travelled than you are (91 coasters vs your 133), yet Megafobia is only my #23 and a 7/10. It’s all very subjective (although I should point out that I personally rate coasters on fun factor and rerideability rather than out and out intensity).