I still had loads of holiday time left after my little Hanoi/Halong Bay jaunt, so it was finally time for me to do the UAE. There are a few reasons why I hadn’t been before, mostly down to waiting for stuff to “settle in” a bit and because I’d always planned to do it as a stopover between Hong Kong and the UK, which ended up never happening due to timing/prices/whatever.
Chinese New Year turned out to be the perfect time to go. It was hot, obviously, but far from oppressively so, so it wasn’t difficult being outside at all during the day, with the evenings being really comfortable. Also, despite a very clear push towards the CNY market, the hordes of Chinese/Korean tour groups I was expecting just weren’t there, so crowds weren’t a problem. Maybe that will change in the coming years, but it seemed that it’s just not on the radar at the moment. So yeah, anyone who hasn’t been: February is a very good choice.
One major annoyance with this trip is that Dubai is now basic as f**k for enthusiasts, and soooo many dreadful cretins have already been. For that reason, I didn’t take massive amounts of pictures since so many basic bitches have done that already.
My flight got in quite late, but not too bad. I was staying at a friend’s place near Dubai Mall/Burj Khalifa, but he was out of town for a couple of days, so I just collected his keys from the concierge and had the place to myself. Excellent.
Day 1
I started off with a park I had little to no interest in, but with combo tickets and stuff (and creds, obviously creds), I couldn’t bring myself to skip it. I got there for opening anyway.
Legoland
Ugh. Seriously, ugh. After Nagoya last year, I’d sworn off these places. The new ones are all the same, with copy/paste rubbish and stupidly overpriced entry prices. The Riverland area, the equivalent of a Downtown Disney or Universal Citywalk area was nice, but nothing was open that early.
I’ll just chuck in the Miniland photos. To be fair the Lego Burj Khalifa was amazing, and I liked the row of world’s tallest buildings as well.
Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste…
The place was empty, which isn’t surprising given it had just opened, but it was weird to only see about 10 other people, if that, in the whole place.
Second time I’ve seen this live show (here and Nagoya) and the second time it hasn’t been running. With Nagoya, the park had only been open a few days, so I’d guessed it just wasn’t ready. That might be the case here, but I’m more inclined to think it’s down to visitor numbers.
End on a positive:
So yeah, Legolands can still just f**k right off. I think that must’ve been the most expensive hour I’ve ever spent at a park.
I bypassed Bollywood Park (I don’t think it was open until later anyway) to do later and got to Motiongate shortly after opening.
Motiongate
Headed straight for Capital Bullet Train first. The area was ok, but maybe I was expecting a little more. The coaster was fun. Out of this and Star Trek at Movie Park – a very, very similar ride – I preferred Star Trek, but this was decent enough and very rerideable. Obviously, it was walk-on.
I wasn’t to be hanging around late enough for whatever show was in here, so no idea:
The indoor Dreamworks are was fab, definitely up there with my favourite indoor areas. It’s difficult/impossible to take pictures of the rides though.
The Shrek ride wasn’t open until 2pm, so I got it later, but I LOVED it. I just thought the whole premise of it (a puppet show which you go “inside”) was very clever and well thought-out.
Pictures don’t do it justice, but the How to Train Your Dragon area was lovely, my favourite in the whole park actually. Dragon Gliders was also fantastic. It’s the first of this ride type I’ve done, and it went way beyond what I was expecting. It’s part dark ride, part coaster, with a combination of screens and animatronics. The highlight is at the end when you fly out of the ride and over/around the How to Train Your Dragon area. I don’t use this word, but I actually found it quite magical.
Madagascar Mad Pursuit was a massive surprise. I haven’t been keeping up with openings/construction, so I didn’t know what it was. I went in expecting a kiddy coaster, but it’s the most intense thing in the park.
The Kung Fu Panda area was lovely. The main ride, however, was f**king s**te. It’s just one of those very old style simulator/theatre things with one screen and multiple motion platforms all facing it, like something Universal were pushing out in the ‘90s. Very disappointing.
Back outside and into the kiddy area, themed to The Smurfs. A generic coaster and a very simple dark ride. Meh.
The final outdoor area was the most substantial, with a lot crammed in. The coaster was crap though. I usually like these Gerstlauer bobsleds, but this is the weakest of the 7 I’ve done now. It’s very plonked as well. It could’ve been so much better as an indoor, themed coaster.
Hotel Transylvania was the most impressive looking ride from the outside, and the ride itself was decent enough, though I was expecting more. I noticed that a lot of parks in the area have “trackless” dark rides that aren’t really trackless. There’s a very clear slot in the floor that the cars are all connected to. I don’t know who makes the system, but it was very common across the various parks. Yeah, technically, they’re “trackless” since they don’t run on any rail, but it’s all a bit of a cheat for me.
The shot/drop tower was decent – the smaller ones often are – and the rapids were fun and not too wet. Underworld was slightly better than most 4D theatres – I liked the more adult theme of it – but they’re still a crap, overused attraction type. Ghostbusters was ok, but, like Hotel Transylvania, promised more from the outside than it delivered.
My issue with dark rides here, and across other parks in the area as well, was that there’s no attempt to hide ducts/pipes/lighting rigs etc. Most/all of them have impressive sets at eye level, but if you look up even slightly all illusion is completely broken.
I’ve just been reading this back and realising how negative I’ve been, but I actually liked Motiongate a lot. It’s obvious that a lot of money and effort has gone into the place, and there are some excellent attractions, the highlights, for me, being Capital Bullet Train, Dragon Gliders, Madagascar and Shrek. It’s difficult to judge operations since it was dead, but everything seemed to be running really well.
I was out of there by midafternoon, stopping off for a traditional Emirati burrito on the way to the final park of the day.
Bollywood Park
No creds here, but I was curious to see it. Oh dear.
First off, it does look lovely and is a very pleasant place to walk around.
The attractions are mostly s**te though. I honestly can’t remember which one’s which now and can’t be arsed to look them up, but the shooter was ok. The rest of the stuff wwas just different versions of the poorer rides at Motiongate, so you’ve just got a rethemed version of the dreadful Kung Fu Panda attraction etc.
I was herded into one of the shows by an enthusiastic cast member and immediately regretted it sinvce I could see right away what it was. It was one of those f**king awful things where they shove guests in front of a green screen to “make a film” which you see at the end and is “hilarious”. Think the preshow of Universal’s “Disaster”, but without a ride at the end. Half an hour of F**king s**te that you can’t do a runner from.
Another show was better. The premise is an “X-Factor” style TV show being filmed, only it’s a dance contest. The audience vote for who goes through to the next round etc. I kind of felt bad for the performers since there was only a very small, unenthusiastic audience in a very large theatre, so it was all a bit awkward.
I’ll finish off there, but Bollywood was a big disappointment which had a lot of potential; it’s all just incredibly dated for a brand new park; they’ve really missed a trick with that one.
So:
Legoland – Nope, sick of them. Overpriced rubbish, even if you happen to be the target audience.
Motiongate – Great park. Plenty to do, some very high-quality attractions and lots of uniqueness.
Bollywood – what a shame.
I finished up the day by heading to the area around the Burj Khalifa, eating dinner at a very high-end restaurant with an amazing view. Just going to do a picture dump since it’s the end of the work day and I don’t want to do this on my own time.
End of Day 1.
Chinese New Year turned out to be the perfect time to go. It was hot, obviously, but far from oppressively so, so it wasn’t difficult being outside at all during the day, with the evenings being really comfortable. Also, despite a very clear push towards the CNY market, the hordes of Chinese/Korean tour groups I was expecting just weren’t there, so crowds weren’t a problem. Maybe that will change in the coming years, but it seemed that it’s just not on the radar at the moment. So yeah, anyone who hasn’t been: February is a very good choice.
One major annoyance with this trip is that Dubai is now basic as f**k for enthusiasts, and soooo many dreadful cretins have already been. For that reason, I didn’t take massive amounts of pictures since so many basic bitches have done that already.
My flight got in quite late, but not too bad. I was staying at a friend’s place near Dubai Mall/Burj Khalifa, but he was out of town for a couple of days, so I just collected his keys from the concierge and had the place to myself. Excellent.
Day 1
I started off with a park I had little to no interest in, but with combo tickets and stuff (and creds, obviously creds), I couldn’t bring myself to skip it. I got there for opening anyway.
Legoland
Ugh. Seriously, ugh. After Nagoya last year, I’d sworn off these places. The new ones are all the same, with copy/paste rubbish and stupidly overpriced entry prices. The Riverland area, the equivalent of a Downtown Disney or Universal Citywalk area was nice, but nothing was open that early.
I’ll just chuck in the Miniland photos. To be fair the Lego Burj Khalifa was amazing, and I liked the row of world’s tallest buildings as well.
Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste…
The place was empty, which isn’t surprising given it had just opened, but it was weird to only see about 10 other people, if that, in the whole place.
Second time I’ve seen this live show (here and Nagoya) and the second time it hasn’t been running. With Nagoya, the park had only been open a few days, so I’d guessed it just wasn’t ready. That might be the case here, but I’m more inclined to think it’s down to visitor numbers.
End on a positive:
So yeah, Legolands can still just f**k right off. I think that must’ve been the most expensive hour I’ve ever spent at a park.
I bypassed Bollywood Park (I don’t think it was open until later anyway) to do later and got to Motiongate shortly after opening.
Motiongate
Headed straight for Capital Bullet Train first. The area was ok, but maybe I was expecting a little more. The coaster was fun. Out of this and Star Trek at Movie Park – a very, very similar ride – I preferred Star Trek, but this was decent enough and very rerideable. Obviously, it was walk-on.
I wasn’t to be hanging around late enough for whatever show was in here, so no idea:
The indoor Dreamworks are was fab, definitely up there with my favourite indoor areas. It’s difficult/impossible to take pictures of the rides though.
The Shrek ride wasn’t open until 2pm, so I got it later, but I LOVED it. I just thought the whole premise of it (a puppet show which you go “inside”) was very clever and well thought-out.
Pictures don’t do it justice, but the How to Train Your Dragon area was lovely, my favourite in the whole park actually. Dragon Gliders was also fantastic. It’s the first of this ride type I’ve done, and it went way beyond what I was expecting. It’s part dark ride, part coaster, with a combination of screens and animatronics. The highlight is at the end when you fly out of the ride and over/around the How to Train Your Dragon area. I don’t use this word, but I actually found it quite magical.
Madagascar Mad Pursuit was a massive surprise. I haven’t been keeping up with openings/construction, so I didn’t know what it was. I went in expecting a kiddy coaster, but it’s the most intense thing in the park.
The Kung Fu Panda area was lovely. The main ride, however, was f**king s**te. It’s just one of those very old style simulator/theatre things with one screen and multiple motion platforms all facing it, like something Universal were pushing out in the ‘90s. Very disappointing.
Back outside and into the kiddy area, themed to The Smurfs. A generic coaster and a very simple dark ride. Meh.
The final outdoor area was the most substantial, with a lot crammed in. The coaster was crap though. I usually like these Gerstlauer bobsleds, but this is the weakest of the 7 I’ve done now. It’s very plonked as well. It could’ve been so much better as an indoor, themed coaster.
Hotel Transylvania was the most impressive looking ride from the outside, and the ride itself was decent enough, though I was expecting more. I noticed that a lot of parks in the area have “trackless” dark rides that aren’t really trackless. There’s a very clear slot in the floor that the cars are all connected to. I don’t know who makes the system, but it was very common across the various parks. Yeah, technically, they’re “trackless” since they don’t run on any rail, but it’s all a bit of a cheat for me.
The shot/drop tower was decent – the smaller ones often are – and the rapids were fun and not too wet. Underworld was slightly better than most 4D theatres – I liked the more adult theme of it – but they’re still a crap, overused attraction type. Ghostbusters was ok, but, like Hotel Transylvania, promised more from the outside than it delivered.
My issue with dark rides here, and across other parks in the area as well, was that there’s no attempt to hide ducts/pipes/lighting rigs etc. Most/all of them have impressive sets at eye level, but if you look up even slightly all illusion is completely broken.
I’ve just been reading this back and realising how negative I’ve been, but I actually liked Motiongate a lot. It’s obvious that a lot of money and effort has gone into the place, and there are some excellent attractions, the highlights, for me, being Capital Bullet Train, Dragon Gliders, Madagascar and Shrek. It’s difficult to judge operations since it was dead, but everything seemed to be running really well.
I was out of there by midafternoon, stopping off for a traditional Emirati burrito on the way to the final park of the day.
Bollywood Park
No creds here, but I was curious to see it. Oh dear.
First off, it does look lovely and is a very pleasant place to walk around.
The attractions are mostly s**te though. I honestly can’t remember which one’s which now and can’t be arsed to look them up, but the shooter was ok. The rest of the stuff wwas just different versions of the poorer rides at Motiongate, so you’ve just got a rethemed version of the dreadful Kung Fu Panda attraction etc.
I was herded into one of the shows by an enthusiastic cast member and immediately regretted it sinvce I could see right away what it was. It was one of those f**king awful things where they shove guests in front of a green screen to “make a film” which you see at the end and is “hilarious”. Think the preshow of Universal’s “Disaster”, but without a ride at the end. Half an hour of F**king s**te that you can’t do a runner from.
Another show was better. The premise is an “X-Factor” style TV show being filmed, only it’s a dance contest. The audience vote for who goes through to the next round etc. I kind of felt bad for the performers since there was only a very small, unenthusiastic audience in a very large theatre, so it was all a bit awkward.
I’ll finish off there, but Bollywood was a big disappointment which had a lot of potential; it’s all just incredibly dated for a brand new park; they’ve really missed a trick with that one.
So:
Legoland – Nope, sick of them. Overpriced rubbish, even if you happen to be the target audience.
Motiongate – Great park. Plenty to do, some very high-quality attractions and lots of uniqueness.
Bollywood – what a shame.
I finished up the day by heading to the area around the Burj Khalifa, eating dinner at a very high-end restaurant with an amazing view. Just going to do a picture dump since it’s the end of the work day and I don’t want to do this on my own time.
End of Day 1.
