I don't think I achieved a lot at work today; though I did bring my credsheet up to date on my lunch break, to the bewilderment of a few co-workers
Thanks to my own foolishness, as Dave's intimated above, I did spend Saturday in a bit of a hungover blur, not 100% feeling myself after getting a little too excited about cheap drink on the Friday evening, but somehow, I still managed to have a good day. Highlights obviously included the fact that Blackpool's old Zipper Dipper ride-op had clearly found a new job on Circus Coaster and decided that an already shameful cred needed some audience participation, the joyous front row ride on Hyperion toward the end of the day and getting to know a few people better when Hyperion broke down while we were queuing for it, Formula being surprisingly good (despite looking like G-Force) and the SLC not being entirely terrible. A lot of us went for fried chicken at lunch, not realising that we'd essentially bought a family bucket each and quickly found ourselves severely overfaced. The remainder of the coasters were severely meh (though I at least escaped the expected drowning at the hands of Speed!) and Happy Loops ('I can think of at least two things wrong with that rides name!') and the SBF spinner were particularly vulgar.
Whilst writing a later paragraph, I remembered that Monster Attack existed. This was perhaps our longest queue on the Saturday and was not, as we had hoped, so bad it was good - it was so bad it was ****ing awful - the Alien effects may have been impressive, but the actual ride did nothing and the shooting did not work. You also spent an annoying amount of the queue with nothing to look at save the crotch of a giant mannequin.
Nic took some zloty off us and organised a fab BBQ in the evening and a handful of males inevitably gathered around the fire to prove their manliness. Richard and a few others came out with some classic lines, crisps were incinerated and grapefruit beer was raged at - I decided I needed an early night so that I felt human on the Sunday, but from what I could hear, the fun continued until around midnight.
As hoped, I felt a lot more human on Sunday and can therefore remember it a bit better; we were concerned about being late because Sue, but thanks to Dave's driving, we weren't the last to arrive in the end. Entry to the park was painlessly sorted (aside from me being a dick and wanting to make the turnstile make a happy noise twice, thus breaking it). Our first impressions of the park were very good - it was considerably more pleasing on the eye than Energylandia and from across the lake, Lech looked particularly exciting. As the dark ride wasn't yet available, our enthusiastic host led us to Lech and, after a brief explanation and a slightly confusing but better-than-Wickerman preshow, let us into play. Unless you were Sue, it seemed that Lech was an acquired taste ('WHAT'S THE POLISH FOR: JUDDERY AS ALL HELL?!') but whilst I ended up preferring Hyperion, I was still impressed with this reinvention of Vekoma - the intensity was a real shock to the system (It's not often I see an enthusiast sick for non-alcohol reasons - whilst I was unable to complete a lap without greying out) but the transitions, mental first drop and the inversion through the station were a joy. I only managed 4 laps during the ERT session as I felt rather ill after doing three in a row and didn't want to chance it.
The other coasters were a little less exciting - I ended up with Rob & Serena for the oddly named and upsettingly pink 'Dream Hunters Society' which was a rather uncomfortable non-event, and the equally oddly named Scary Toy Factory was equally forgettable (and equally pink!) I'd almost managed to forget Budget Symbolica... I mean Bazyliszek, where the oversized novelty padlocks meant we had nearly as much fun in the queue line as on the ride - despite the slightly tasteless flourescent lights and glo-paint, this, like Lech, was clearly very high tech stuff compared to the rest of the park and showed that passionate investment had clearly been made in recent years, and comparing it to the atrocity we'd encountered the previous day made it seem even better.
Much of the rest of the day was spent watching Sue, Dan and Iac (I think? I spent the day calling him Lars, for some reason) riding REALLY obnoxious looking flat rides. I didn't think I'd ever encounter something more upsetting than Linnanmaki's Kieppi - but then I went to Legendia. I couldn't even stand to watch the Dragon Fight thing, whilst the spinning barrels of immense doom and Pandemonium-but-worse didn't look a whole lot better. As with the Log Flume and the spinny planes ride of not-as-old-as-Blackpool's, I oped to bag-lady and socialise - as Ian had said, with only three creds and a park that was dead as Southport, the order of the day was to 'chillax'. I also 'helped' with the social media: 'This rollercoaster is pink. How many pink rollercoasters can you name?' 'Tag a mate who would ride this obnoxious looking flat ride' etc.
Lunch wasn't as good (or as big) as the previous day's, but the setting was nicer, with most of us crowded around a long wooden table, having some particularly goonish debates and agreeing that the restaurant was a better use for a load of wood than bloody Coaster Express. At some point in the afternoon, the answers to Serena's fab (if partially inaccurate, not that I was goony enough to have noticed!!) quiz were read out and we had what was surely the ****test CF Faffle to date. Somehow, I managed to win something useful - I may have no idea what Michigan's Adventure is, but I'd spent the weekend in serious need of a glasses strap as mine were taken off me on all the bigger rides and I always enjoy a ride a lot more if I can see! Ian seemed less thrilled with his Alton Towers notebook.
Other daft attractions included the spinning tunnel of doom, which quickly sorted the men from the... people who'd over-indulged at the BBBQ. I managed to survive nearly three minutes (mainly by sitting down) - as there was a child at one end and Caffeine_Demon at the other and I was scared to attempt to leave for fear of being crushed by one or crushing the other. There was also the looping bike thing that didn't look up my street, but Chris showed everyone up by being insanely good at it - his only difficulty was STOPPING it from looping, whilst we also learned that he and Rob had a knack for throwing things to knock things off other things and win toothless dragons.
One final group bonding exercise came after half the group re-rode Lech Coaster and the other half stole Sue's 'whimsical' scarf, to punish us for dicking around with it in an annoying manner and causing me to ask everyone in turn if they were wearing the scarf. Surprisingly, it remained funny in a pantomime kind of way, but I suspect you had to be there. I forget who had it in the end.
The weather was beginning to turn and we had one final cred to nab, back in Zator, before we went back to bed, so some goodbyes were said and then we got back into the car to Zatorland, rode the fairly forgettable Dinocoaster in the drizzle (after trying to work out whether to use the circle's toilets or square's toilets?!) and then said the rest of the goodbyes. Myself, Sue, Nathan and Dave then went to a surprisingly good restaurant and I had a mixed grill that cost about a fiver.
The accommodation also deserves a mention, for not being exactly what I expected, but aside from the acorn-apocalypse (the metal roof was not ideal) and whoever unplugged the boiler on Saturday night, causing me to smell bad on Sunday, it was all part of the fun and quite well suited to us really. Having a fire-pit to gather around certainly beat all cramming into one Travelodge room like in the old days, and I wouldn't be aversed to staying there again if I found myself in Zator - the wifi worked for one thing!
This report's not up to my usual standard - despite Ian asking at one point during the weekend 'How the **** do you remember all this ****, Will!?!' my short term memory doesn't function half as well as my long term memory, so I'm counting on the rest of you to fill in the gaps, particularly with the Saturday. As for my opinions - I'd have to say that I'd be more in a hurry to return to Legendia than Energylandia - whilst Hyperion was the best coaster of the trip for my money, I had more fun on the second day and the park seemed to have more substance and a better atmosphere. The RMC and launched Vekoma however, may change my mind! Either way, here's hoping it's less than 7 years before my next foray to Europe with you lot
