Could you imagine a 8 minute dispatch for Vekoma Boomerang?
Yeah, you're probably looking at something more like 15 minutes for a Boomerang in China. Some of the Fantawild ones have this awful baggage storage 'sheep pen' before the stairs to the station platform into which they batch guests, who never have any sort of hustle and faff around forever sorting their stuff. If you're sensible and don't have any items, you're just stood there like a lemon looking at the staff who can't let you through until everyone is finished. It's the same with the exit gate and waiting for everyone to be 'ready' before you can leave the station as well.
Catch is here that the exit stairs are still on the opposite side of the platform, so once the cycle is complete you have to wait for all the previous riders to walk down those (slowly, while gesticulating about how
crazy that rollercoaster was), along an exit path around and under the ride again and back into a second entrance for the storage pen, collect all of their things, with fuss, before the queue can progress.
My answer to the topic in general has to be China, in general, there's so many other little 'procedures' like this scattered around that are just incredibly poorly thought out and yet nothing gets done about it. Generally the guests just accept that this is the only way for things to be and are content to wait stupidly long amounts of time for what could otherwise be a very short queue and miss out on a significant number of rides in any given day.
The legendary OCT exercise routines in the station before you get on the rollercoaster are cute (the first few times, and not in Chengdu where they got pissy about it if you're not 100% serious), but they're done in front of empty trains rather than while the ride is operating, lengthening every single cycle by several minutes.
Half the major attractions aren't open at any given time, in half the major parks, for literally any excuse they can come up with. At the end of the day that's what really outweighs any other 'poorly run' park for me. I just wanna ride the rides.
Incidents like this:
Clouds of Fairyland. Incoming novel:
This was the last of the staggered openings and I was first in line, ready and raring to get this thing out of the way. Queue opened on time, but stood at the station gate for nearing half an hour. Once we were let in, I sat down and habitually pulled down the restraint. Got a death glare from one of the 2 female attendants for this, who immediately went to the control box to reset the restraints. Lesson learnt.
The staff were on the warpath, let battle commence. Everyone else had sat down by this stage but of course hadn’t considered any standard loose item rulings. They were now told verbally and 11 people slowly mumbled away and stood up, fumbling in their pockets and removing an item or two, leaving the train to put them in the designated area. Most of them sat down again, only moments later realising they had other stuff in there, several times. Next it was the physical inspection. The attendants climbed onto the trains and gave everyone’s legs a good squeeze and then all 12 of us were on our feet again. I’d been had for sneaking a tissue on board, others had been had for phones and stuff they'd somehow missed. We were violated and shamed, but we were ready. Almost.
The restraints were applied, one by one, but the last bloke became the first person in Asia to do the walk of shame for size reasons. He wasn’t particularly big, he just had a thick coat on. I considered pointing out that he could probably manage it but had given up on life by this point. The restraints were unlocked, an empty seat has become available. We must fill that seat. Guest number 13 is let into the station, sits down, gets up twice more for various items in his pockets. Restraints are sorted for the second time.
We are now forcefully told to hold on to the thin ribbon hoop things on the sides of the head rest. I was glad for these, having died on many rides previously due to not holding on in awkward positions. I didn’t dare disobey because they probably would have E-stopped me upside down for it.
The ride was rougher than I had experienced on these and only did a single circuit. Worth it.
Or this:
I've lived through the Joyland Skyloop, so this is nothing in comparison, but I feel like the tale should to be shared.
They were running their El Loco with 3 cars. The station platform has space for onload and offload of 3 cars, but they are only able to onload and offload the front 2 cars.
If you are in the 2nd car that gets despatched you end up sitting in the ride, in the station, having completed your circuit, for the entirety of the following sequence:
Car 1 offloads people at the front of the station. These people clamber out and gather their belongings in the usual faffy fashion.
Car 2 offloads people at the front of the station. These people clamber out and gather their belongings in the usual faffy fashion.
As with most of China, you are prevented from leaving the station area until a check has been made by the staff that everyone is out of their train and has taken their items, which often ends in an awkward encounter if you're out of the train in 5 seconds like a normal person and are left standing and staring at the staff for at least a minute waiting to leave.
8 people leave.
Open the gate for 4 people. Let them clamber across the 1st car, sort out their loose items, sit down, seatbelt on, seatbelt check, restraint down and restraint check.
Open the gate for 4 more people. Let them clamber across the 2nd car, sort out their loose items, sit down, seatbelt on, seatbelt check, restraint down and restraint check.
Dispatch 2 cars. Car 1 takes the circuit straight away, car 2 stops just outside the station until car 1 has cleared the first block of the layout.
Once car 2 pulls away, car 3 which has been sitting in the station with people in it this whole time can move to the front of the station and offload.
Of course I was the 2nd car to be despatched.
Sum it up rather well, otherwise, great place!
Bonus round, neither the Germans or the Americans, who should have a lot more practice, aren't immune to this:
Straight to (Plohn) El Toro to try and remind myself why I had put up with all that. Mercifully it was suffering from Freischutz syndrome and was almost walk on. One train and some questionable methods again turned that into a painful experience. 1 bloke in an umbro hoody and tracksuit was running everything himself: Check those seatbelts. Checked his phone. Check those bars. Checked his phone. Brandished a tatty A4 piece of paper with some rules printed on it and started lecturing for a couple of minutes, also pointing at a pub chalkboard which had height restrictions written on it, in chalk of course. Bit late for height restrictions now we’re strapped in. Checked his phone. Dispatch. What sort of hell have I entered.
Grizzly was the moment when operations hit rock bottom and a good park turned into an alright park. They managed to break it as we arrived in the station, causing an old woman to kick off swearing and complaining about a virtually walk on queue while ignoring her child companion who seemed to not be enjoying the day out either. It went back up quick, but was run about as slow as possible.
Most questionable part was the fact that they let children of any size go through the air gates, sit down in the train and pull the restraint down before any height check was performed. Upon making their way down the train, the staff would spot these children:
Stop.
Slowly walk back to the front of the station where a key was lying on the platform.
Pick up the height stick.
Pick up the key.
Use it to unlock the restraint.
Get the child out.
Measure the child, with faff.
Slowly walk back to the front of the station where a stash of wristbands was kept.
Root around for the appropriately coloured wristband.
Put the wristband on the child.
Slowly walk back to the front of the station to put the key down again.
Continue checking restraints.
Many times.
Nagashima Spa Land is awful.
Oh, and:
