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New "mouthwash station" at Thorpe

^ I don't think anybody denies the word-of-mouth advertising a story like this can generate by publising things people can relate to. What pisses me off is that they've got a lot of good rides and I'd rather they push them to people's mind. Counteracting this dreadful stunt, they have advertised Saw a few times this year and that has got people in the office talking.
 
Dear Sir/Madam,

After recently visiting your park, I'd like to say what a fantastic day I had there with my friends. We very much enjoyed the wide variety of rides and attractions on offer, and after using one of your "2-4-1" offers, found it to be a very good value day out.

Having said that, I noticed that many of your clientele seem to be of the "less desirable" variety. I'm glad you've also noticed this with your recent "Body Odour" and "Bad Breath" campaigns. May I be so bold as to make a few more suggestions with regard to a number of your guests?

There are too many people in your park wearing unsightly Burberry. May I suggest offering these people some kind of free, burka-like overall as they enter through your overly-rigorous security checks?

I've also noticed an unusually high number of pregnant teenagers. Perhaps you'd like to offer some kind of family planning "experience" to these young sluts?

Judging by the looks of a lot of your guests, perhaps some kind of needle exchange scheme could be a hit? Failing that, how about free methodone refills?

There seems to be an unfeasibly disproportionate number of rather "homely" looking people allowed through your gates, which is offensive to many of your better-looking guests. Could you install some paper bag dispensers at key locations please?

Finally, can I have a job in your marketing department? Not that I'm lazy, but it sounds like it doesn't involve a great deal of work, time, effort or imagination.

Yours faithfully,
Gavin Jones
 
To be fair, I smoke more at Thorpe simply to try to cause a smog so I don't see as many chavs and to put up with the stress of hearing all of the times people say "Omg" and "Sick", that for me is enough stress for one day, plus many people comfort eat... and the fact that there is a pizza hut doesn't help matters, you hand me that garlic bread as soon as I hear the word "Bruv" and that's just how I work!

That aside, i'd use these stations, but mainly to throw mouthwash over the burberry covered (insert word here).

I think Gavin sums it up, and should actually send that to them if you ask me.
 
I visited the park on Saturday and couldn't find this mouthwash station.
 
Is anyone actually going to get their mouth washed?

It's a bit like saying "I'm not gonna go on stealth just yet-I'm going to go to the mouthwash station-it sounds like lots of fun!"

This is insane! I dare say though, if nobody gets a mouth wash then it may make it compulsory upon entry to TP...HELP! Anyway, I can see people being stupid whilst getting a mouth wash!
 
I deal with a lot of complaints in my line of work and what pisses me off is that i can imagine the sort of people that would complain about these sorts of things, middle aged women that pretend their upper class writing similar letters to Gavins, and groups of young teenage girls who do nothing but whinge because they think the sun shines out of their asses "urrrrrrrrrrrrgh hes smoking" Shut the **** up and deal with it you little twat!
 
I deal with a lot of complaints in my line of work and what pisses me off is that i can imagine the sort of people that would complain about these sorts of things
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You do realise its all made up, yeah?
 
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