Seeing as I owe Mysterious Sue a trip report for Pleasure Island but beyond “epic golf” and “**** castle of WHYYYYY?” I really can’t be bothered! So have this one instead…
Got woken up at quarter past 4 by ‘Ian from CoasterForce’ and as such made my way to the car parked outside my front door before setting off to Gatport Airwick constantly praying that the car would make it at least to the car park. After which, it didn’t really matter!
Checked in, got some breakfast from Boots and then set-up-shop outside the Raybould Stand where the SINGLE BIGGEST MINCER IN THE WORLD was working a shift! After 20 or so minutes of comical brummie accents attempting to imitate the levels of excitement that we believed Rach (her first ever flight) would be emitting. Shockingly, when she did appear together with Mysterious Sue, Rach was very subdued (clearly planes are not as exciting as ferries!).
More mincers arrived just in time, probably because AJ was spazzing about his hair so we were ready for the plane of orange to take us to Sweden!!!
The Maddie/Stem-Cell Seat!!!
When we got to the airport I got a bit-too excited over the Volvo paraphernalia all over the place so a toilet stop was had – upon my return ‘Volvo Museum’ brochures were being thrust at me from every direction (did they not realise we needed to go to Liseberg relatively urgently? Because they weren’t helping)!
Soon it became apparent that there were just too many Volvos around to go to the toilet every time (plus I’d run out of boxers by this point), so we had a CF-Takeover of an 8 seater taxi which cost us about £7 each to get to the park – JOY!.
It was good to see that the Swedes had made a nice red arrow to hoist above the meet-up point as per the picture and some mild faff ensued (which was to be expected) before we entered the park for free! LESSTHANTHREE ECC cards! <3
Good effort, but there was quite clearly TWO arrows in the picture provided!
Nice touch!
Lisebergbanan first, good ride (got better as the day went on), comfy seats, great interaction with its beautiful surroundings! And not forgetting………
BROMS!!!
Wandering round the park again showed why Europe is better than the UK by miles. It was very Blackpool, but because the management actually care about keeping up appearances and what people think about their park – it looked tidy, presentable and clean.
Balder (Ian: The Ride) was up next. I was less than impressed with it, the odd bit of floater here and there and it had AWFUL pacing issues. If you’re going to give me corners, can I at least have some speed with them too please? Falken’s helix of WHYYYYYY is more than enough for this world without your overbanks of SIGH thank-you very much! Again, hopefully all would be well in the evening!
The less said about Kanonenenenenenenenenenenenenen and its ludicrous name the better I think!
The handlebar moustache really should have been a sign as to how awful it is…
Launch into Broms? Did I hear someone say “sigh”?!
It just wasn’t meant to be, despite Ian’s best efforts to contact the high and mighty!
Station stank of ****, coaster rode like ****. Simples. It’s also a lawsuit waiting to happen with those seats – terrifying!
The rapids on the other hand got a seal of approval from my good self – with the “Rapids Laugh” returning with great aplomb much to the delight of Will, John and Richard! It would also, remarkably, make an appearance on the “log-flume of indeterminable freakish lift-hill accidents” just because it was amazing, scary, spiteful and bloody wet all at the same time!
Lunch was underwhelming. Swedes, despite being a more than acceptable Sunday Roast accompaniment themselves, really don’t know how to cook a pizza – SCANDAL! (Although admittedly, not nearly as scandalous as the exclusion of the “Meatball Mariana” from their Subway menus!!! Seriously, what ARE they playing at?)
Next up was Rayboulder and the TREE OF SILENCE <3. Cue random kiddy-coaster and CF-Surrealism…
Group photo with the TREE OF SILENCE!!!
Some say I love it too much. I’d say, not enough!
Next was “Rush on a Hill” – not bad, really pitiful cycle though. 2 swings at the top – even on packed days Thorpe manage more than that. MAKE AN EFFORT SWEDEN!!!
Aforementioned Log-Flume of JOY was had, the gays drowned even before we left the station! *innocently whistles*
A plethora of rides happened in an order that I honestly can’t remember. Garlic Clove Ride of Breeding Bunnies, Shot Tower of Exquisite Views, Balder Revisited (still meh at this point) and Dodgems of Bum Bandit Bashing, amongst others!
Had started to get dark now and things got better; Lisebergbanan, Balder, (and inexplicably) KANONEN got good! I actually don’t know how this happened. Perhaps God was asleep earlier and had just gotten Ian’s prayers from earlier? I don’t know! But it was pretty fab!
Sing-a-long in the Balder queue. Jukebox had fan favourites such as 'Spice Up Your Life', 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and new entry 'Soggy Sue' (to the tune of Oggy Oggy Oggy, Oi Oi Oi)
Whoring of Balder then happened before a mass PANIC by Stone Cold and myself as we RAN into the Lisebergbanan queueline before the gormless Swede closed it!
Here endeth the Live portion of events – coming soon to a Trip Report Topic near you….. the night’s activities and the artwork and revolving doors of Sunday!
Pictures courtesy of AJ, Mushroom, Rach and Sue Shaw