Squrmyweesl
Roller Poster
This trip didn't get off to the best start as I thought my Discovery Pass was valid on this date, but it wasn't. I had already booked my other half's ticket, so sunk cost fallacy was clearly the way forward.
The first thing that struck me was how many school-age kids were at the park on a term day, which meant that the queues weren't quite as forgiving as I'd hoped on this October weekday.
Can't fault the general landscaping and theming in the whole place, although some bits were more atmospheric than others. It seemed tidy and well-maintained, apart from the loos. There was an attempt at spooky decorations in a handful of places, maybe still in progress...
--
MANDRILL MAYHEM: There was only a 15 minute queue for this when we arrived at around 11ish, so I made a beeline for it. The single rider queue was moving in a slow trickle and didn't seem to make boarding any faster.
Again can't fault the theming, but this thing is so weird! I got row 4. The backwards launch up the spike was fun, and the whole ride felt pretty smooth on an outer wing seat. But that barrel roll was soooooo slow and silly, the helix spike was just... strange, and the backwards part didn't seem to add much to the ride experience apart from (for me) a touch of nausea. I know it's a 'family thrill', but although somewhat fun and unusual, I wasn't sure what to make of the layout and the strange mix of elements, still not quite sure how to rate it.
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MONKEY SWINGER: Seriously, SCREW THIS RIDE. We both went on this without seeing it in action first, thinking it was a regular wave swinger - like every other bloody wave swinger we've ever been on - BIG MISTAKE. I did wonder why the seat was a bit wet when I was getting in, but just assumed it had been raining or something in the morning.
At first it was nice, one of the better ones I've been on. Then the water jets started coming up, intermittently. The first one just got my leg a bit. Ugh! Then they started getting more and more frequent. And the ride just DIDN'T ****ING STOP! It kept going for what felt like an eternity, with both of us getting progressively more soaked, until the finale when all of the jets continuously spray as you go around and around and around, with no escape, BEGGING FOR IT TO END.
We both got off this feeling both extremely stupid and extremely damp - my shoes were squelching. I had so much water in one ear that I felt like I'd just been swimming. We both hate rides that get you really wet, especially at this time of year, so this was a pretty sucky start to the day although I appreciate that it was mostly our own fault.
A lesson learned!!
--
VAMPIRE: The queue for this was 60 mins at this point and rapidly rising because one of the trains had gone down or something. Lots of people were leaving the queue. So, feeling a bit fragile and having a bored spouse waiting, I headed out of the standby and bought an £8 one-shot 'reserve and ride'. It took about 15 minutes to get on that way. Several people queue-jumped in this line and then the staff didn't even check anyone's barcode - nngh.
(Not sure why photos with this aspect ratio are getting rotated, sorry!)
The dark station with vampire organist was cute and kitschy, if a bit empty/warehouse-ish. As for the ride itself... another weird one, but I think I enjoyed it more than Mandrill Mayhem. I've never seen any coaster with those interesting dangly things with the rotating disc beneath the cars, which I guess are used to stop them swinging in the station/on the lift hills? (But would it really matter if they sway a bit on the hill?) The loud, clanky lifts and the cool disengagement sound at the top added to the creepy vibe, and the way the track winds through and interacts with the environment was very cool. Although it generally wasn't that forceful, it was rather jolty. There's that one moment of more intense force/speed when the train goes through a low tunnel towards the end. I expected to feel the seats swinging a bit more, but it didn't seem that noticeable. For an old family coaster that really tiny kids can ride (one of them looked about 4-5 years old?!) this was good fun and something different.
--
TOMB BLASTER: 5 minute wait and a great surprise, especially the scale of some of those big models inside, like Anubis! And also because I kicked hubby's ass on the score, which is odd because he usually beats me in shooters 80/20. Maybe there was something wrong with his laser, but let's not overthink it.
--
GRUFFALO RIVER THING: Super sweet and basically walk-on. Didn't get any more wet, just a tiny splash. The water tunnels were really pretty.
--
WITCH/BROOM HOUSE THING: Another charming kiddie attraction, centring around another Axel Schaeffer book about a witch who can't keep track of her personal belongings. The effects were cool, and it didn't go on for long enough to get boring for adults. The building is gorgeous outside with beautiful climbing plants.
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FOOD: Low expectations proved to be correct - astronomically expensive and very meh. I couldn't see anything veggie that didn't look awful so I just stole some fries and then loaded up on sweets.
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ZOO: Not being a big fan of zoos in general, some of the enclosures looked too small. The 'zoofari' was closed and there was no sign of any of the larger animals in the fields. The walk-through bit where you can get super close to tiny marmosets is pretty unique - their faces are TOO SMALL, oh jesus how can they even exist - but one of them was climbing around the door a lot, trying to slip out. It took a massive effort of will not to reach out to the marmosets when they came really close and looked at you inquisitively, I mean such an effort that I nearly died of a broken heart. But I'm not entirely sure it's in the animals' best interests to have an exhibit like this with so many kids around...
This bit has a kind of mini high-ropes thing next door, with an underwhelming slide at the end, and some other climbey things aimed at small people which are just OK. 3/10, would not rope tunnel again.
--
As for the other coasters, Rattlesnake - which looked like a pretty standard, ageing wild mouse - was closed, and Dragon's Fury was having some kind of technical issue all day which resulted in the cars being sent around with only one side loaded, and the predictably long queues which resulted from that (and some extreme unbalanced spinning). I didn't fancy paying more for a one-shot or leaving my poor companion on his own for an hour, so I skipped this one. The track looked like it had some surprisingly intense profiling for a coaster with really small kids on it, which was appealing, but the mad spinning less so.
Overall, it's a pretty park but the ride offering for adults is a bit weak and the operations weren't great. And the food REALLY sucked. Sorry Chessington!
The first thing that struck me was how many school-age kids were at the park on a term day, which meant that the queues weren't quite as forgiving as I'd hoped on this October weekday.
Can't fault the general landscaping and theming in the whole place, although some bits were more atmospheric than others. It seemed tidy and well-maintained, apart from the loos. There was an attempt at spooky decorations in a handful of places, maybe still in progress...
--
MANDRILL MAYHEM: There was only a 15 minute queue for this when we arrived at around 11ish, so I made a beeline for it. The single rider queue was moving in a slow trickle and didn't seem to make boarding any faster.
Again can't fault the theming, but this thing is so weird! I got row 4. The backwards launch up the spike was fun, and the whole ride felt pretty smooth on an outer wing seat. But that barrel roll was soooooo slow and silly, the helix spike was just... strange, and the backwards part didn't seem to add much to the ride experience apart from (for me) a touch of nausea. I know it's a 'family thrill', but although somewhat fun and unusual, I wasn't sure what to make of the layout and the strange mix of elements, still not quite sure how to rate it.
--
MONKEY SWINGER: Seriously, SCREW THIS RIDE. We both went on this without seeing it in action first, thinking it was a regular wave swinger - like every other bloody wave swinger we've ever been on - BIG MISTAKE. I did wonder why the seat was a bit wet when I was getting in, but just assumed it had been raining or something in the morning.
At first it was nice, one of the better ones I've been on. Then the water jets started coming up, intermittently. The first one just got my leg a bit. Ugh! Then they started getting more and more frequent. And the ride just DIDN'T ****ING STOP! It kept going for what felt like an eternity, with both of us getting progressively more soaked, until the finale when all of the jets continuously spray as you go around and around and around, with no escape, BEGGING FOR IT TO END.
We both got off this feeling both extremely stupid and extremely damp - my shoes were squelching. I had so much water in one ear that I felt like I'd just been swimming. We both hate rides that get you really wet, especially at this time of year, so this was a pretty sucky start to the day although I appreciate that it was mostly our own fault.
A lesson learned!!
--
VAMPIRE: The queue for this was 60 mins at this point and rapidly rising because one of the trains had gone down or something. Lots of people were leaving the queue. So, feeling a bit fragile and having a bored spouse waiting, I headed out of the standby and bought an £8 one-shot 'reserve and ride'. It took about 15 minutes to get on that way. Several people queue-jumped in this line and then the staff didn't even check anyone's barcode - nngh.
(Not sure why photos with this aspect ratio are getting rotated, sorry!)
The dark station with vampire organist was cute and kitschy, if a bit empty/warehouse-ish. As for the ride itself... another weird one, but I think I enjoyed it more than Mandrill Mayhem. I've never seen any coaster with those interesting dangly things with the rotating disc beneath the cars, which I guess are used to stop them swinging in the station/on the lift hills? (But would it really matter if they sway a bit on the hill?) The loud, clanky lifts and the cool disengagement sound at the top added to the creepy vibe, and the way the track winds through and interacts with the environment was very cool. Although it generally wasn't that forceful, it was rather jolty. There's that one moment of more intense force/speed when the train goes through a low tunnel towards the end. I expected to feel the seats swinging a bit more, but it didn't seem that noticeable. For an old family coaster that really tiny kids can ride (one of them looked about 4-5 years old?!) this was good fun and something different.
--
TOMB BLASTER: 5 minute wait and a great surprise, especially the scale of some of those big models inside, like Anubis! And also because I kicked hubby's ass on the score, which is odd because he usually beats me in shooters 80/20. Maybe there was something wrong with his laser, but let's not overthink it.
--
GRUFFALO RIVER THING: Super sweet and basically walk-on. Didn't get any more wet, just a tiny splash. The water tunnels were really pretty.
--
WITCH/BROOM HOUSE THING: Another charming kiddie attraction, centring around another Axel Schaeffer book about a witch who can't keep track of her personal belongings. The effects were cool, and it didn't go on for long enough to get boring for adults. The building is gorgeous outside with beautiful climbing plants.
--
FOOD: Low expectations proved to be correct - astronomically expensive and very meh. I couldn't see anything veggie that didn't look awful so I just stole some fries and then loaded up on sweets.
--
ZOO: Not being a big fan of zoos in general, some of the enclosures looked too small. The 'zoofari' was closed and there was no sign of any of the larger animals in the fields. The walk-through bit where you can get super close to tiny marmosets is pretty unique - their faces are TOO SMALL, oh jesus how can they even exist - but one of them was climbing around the door a lot, trying to slip out. It took a massive effort of will not to reach out to the marmosets when they came really close and looked at you inquisitively, I mean such an effort that I nearly died of a broken heart. But I'm not entirely sure it's in the animals' best interests to have an exhibit like this with so many kids around...
This bit has a kind of mini high-ropes thing next door, with an underwhelming slide at the end, and some other climbey things aimed at small people which are just OK. 3/10, would not rope tunnel again.
--
As for the other coasters, Rattlesnake - which looked like a pretty standard, ageing wild mouse - was closed, and Dragon's Fury was having some kind of technical issue all day which resulted in the cars being sent around with only one side loaded, and the predictably long queues which resulted from that (and some extreme unbalanced spinning). I didn't fancy paying more for a one-shot or leaving my poor companion on his own for an hour, so I skipped this one. The track looked like it had some surprisingly intense profiling for a coaster with really small kids on it, which was appealing, but the mad spinning less so.
Overall, it's a pretty park but the ride offering for adults is a bit weak and the operations weren't great. And the food REALLY sucked. Sorry Chessington!
A missed opportunity!
Maybe just a little bit s**te