Euro 2024 - Hyperia

[HeartlineCoaster]

Off to Europe now I guess.

Due to, events, this trip did not go as planned. What did happen was dominated by the significant stuff by means of a bunch of revisits anyway, which I usually struggle to report on in the same manner as when I'm wide-eyed and fresh faced. As such I might be deviating from the usual format and just present some parks, some rides, some thoughts.

Luxembourg

On the way down to (spoilers) Europa Park we decided to get a new country cred. Last time this was considered was back in covid days, when you had to write a letter to the King of Luxembourg in order to be granted special permission to enter. We were tempted at the time, given that they had one of those big Schwarzkopf travelling things in town while our own Eurodemption was going down. Postage time may have been an issue though.

First stop was a castle, don't have those at home.

It was free to park and free to wander around, a common theme for Luxembourg, and my kinda sightseeing.

Is nice.

I was a little confused by the strategy of the location upon approach as it seemed to be rather far downhill to get to it, but it makes more sense from over here, in the rain.

Luxembourg City

My recollection of a Tom Scott video had me thinking that all public transport in Luxembourg was free. Sure enough, it was, so we went to the capital, Luxembourg City, and did a park + ride job to get into the centre. Free and easy, just how public transport should be.

We got off the bus in front of this.

Over the road from this.

And this. Everything is very elevated, and green.

Took a wander through the centre, which is very town-like for a city.

Or even model village-like from out the other side. You can basically walk to all the 'things to see'.

History, culture.

Excitement? You can spot our next target out towards the back left.

After crossing a busy city road.

And going down a hill.

The great glass elevator in the sky is a tourist attraction here.

Not your average elevator.

Up top there was a piano, with what I believe to just be another visitor riffing some highly impressive piece and making intense but awkward eye contact with everyone else.

It was great. And free.

And that was Luxembourg. We chilled for a bit, had some food, then drove off to a travelling cred in Germany. Would recommend.

Merzig Funfair

Parking anywhere near here was a nightmare because the entire town was undergoing roadworks and the fair itself was on the only car park.

But it was all worth it of course, for three laps of Kuhnos Farm.

How many cow Wacky Worms have you done?

Up next - Baa-a-a-Express.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Europa Park

It's been 9 long years since I last visited Europa Park. For the sake of a crazy statistic I had 126 creds to my name at the time, meaning there's been just another 1500-odd in the interim.

I really, really liked the place back then, it was clear that it was a global standout. I had also always looked forward to returning some day but it was always on the preface that they got something worth returning for, to sweeten the deal. The years went by...

I heard they got something.

Voltron

We spent 2 days on park, which was the perfect amount for our own needs and pace.

The primary need was to experience Voltron as much as possible. I avoided whatever spoilers I could and went in knowing as little as possible.

Presentation-wise, I think the whole thing looks excellent. An entrance exterior with that start coming out of the top of it.

A dedicated observation tower built within the layout. Plenty of opportunity to get in, up and under a lot of track for views and photos, while maintaining a little mystery about the back end of the layout. With constant trains buzzing round, on a summers day it's a coaster lovers dream.

Plus other stuff in the area going on because why not.

The indoor queue brought new hope to my hobby. As I passed through for the first time and absorbed the details in here a crescendo of emotions built to a level of excitement for a new rollercoaster/attraction that I haven't felt in what seems like quite some time. Far surpassing the simple raw excitement of skipping down some queue in China (that's actually open) to ride some world's fastest Mack thing, no, this was an anticipation you can only build with a themed experience. The development of character for a ride. A reason you want to like it, to support it, to back this creation of steel. Standing there in that room for the first time, with those feelings, is exactly why I'm in this game.

The big turret thing that plugs itself into the wall to power up. Mr. Tesla waffling on about who knows what.

Easter egg characters in the return to station screen.

The fact that the shutters close when you see a train enter the preshow, to hide what's going on. And then the ride theme injected into your eardrums by terrifying tesla coil noises. Awe, intimidation, elation, the lot. This is how you make someone (like me) want to like a coaster.

From a practical standpoint, the locker system is the best I've seen yet. Choose your own locker with an RFID card, get on the ride. Don't worry about remembering the number after an overwhelming experience because it can just tell you at the end. Unlike Wildcat's Revenge.
The throughput, capacity and efficiency with the moving station and just Europa Park being Europa Park in general is beautiful to behold once more.

- - -

Onto the ride experience then. I didn't know what the trick was, and it's hilarious. Brilliant for first timers and crowd reactions. I love it, but it loses impact over a few goes, so I kinda hope it remains somewhat unique to this attraction and that not everyone starts doing it, there's a risk of losing the magic as always. Possibilities are endless though, so mix it up.

Before you've fully recovered from that you're lurched off, and up, and over, and out. Of that start. It's so unnatural but it's done so gracefully considering the combination of technology and forces. Looking at it, it shouldn't feel like it does, but it works, and then you're suspended in the air for a brief moment for a 'this is where the fun begins' into the layout proper.

Frantic, I think is the word for all the elements that go on in between the defined sections, namely a combination of inversions and airtime moments. It's our bread and butter at this point. It reflects the theme of science experiment gone wrong rather perfectly in this regard, but, critical hat on, I'm going to introduce another word into the fray. Lumpy.

I like and appreciate the individual components of what's going on in this sequence, but there's something about the flow. It's lumpy. I think this is just an inherent issue I personally find with shorter trains and ride vehicles. It reflects back to my experience with the Big Dipper model, and by extension Infinity coasters (both of which I love more than most) and Eurofighters. Regardless of their execution I just can't see myself sitting in one and thinking 'this is the best rollercoaster layout in the world'. You can't create as beautiful a symphony of forces with a ride that's built for the tightest of manoeuvres. Blame physics.

Anyway there's a multi launch bit on a curve in there which follows the recent industry trend of 'adds a little pep, doesn't take your breath away' moments into the recent industry trend of the stall. A couple of newer rides have made this their own standout moment (Batman GCE and the super boomerang spring to mind), sadly Voltron does not. Surprisingly the most characterful moment for me hits home when you come slamming into the brakes at the end of the first half. It's pretty brutal. And then you're on a turntable with lightning and what the hell is this?

I've got two ways of looking at this - it's amazing, clever, fun to behold, did you know it can turn in either direction? I didn't until a few laps in. Quirky, love it.
The other - it leaves a little to be desired in terms of presentation when compared with the station, queue, pre-launch experience. You're just in a crude circular cage with no roof and a sunbleached graphics display. Doesn't quite uphold the wonder.

What it does lead to is a wild backwards launch, again another great crowd reaction moment but you can give it your own extra punch with anticipation by putting your arms and legs directly in front of you and getting a wicked 'fold you over the restraint' moment. Then you're forwards again with the most satisfying launch, one which lands closest to those I personally adore with their 'the fun is far from over yet' sensation. It's faffy, but given it isn't detracting from 'damn near best thing ever' status either side of it, I think it works.

The wonky top hat puts me straight back into the 'lumpy' mindset however, albeit what follows is an incredible sequence of powerful airtime moments, shouty after shouty, including up into and back out of another mid course. Dizzying inversions and strong positives round out proceedings before one final shout of airtime into the brakes. Ends strong this one.

And I think that review should demonstrate a little why I'm all over the place on Voltron. There's so much of the experience that I adore to the core, but as a coaster it fell short of perfect in many, many ways. To clarify, the 'lumpy' business is nothing to do with ride comfort. I've heard riders found discomfort in left wing seats etc. and while there was noticeably a bit more shake there, it didn't impact my personal ride experience. It is pretty damn intense though, and I don't doubt that the 'lumpy' flow of the layout does exacerbate such feelings.

I'll stop saying lumpy now, but I will also mention that a few of the inversions lack definition and character. If you're going for the golden seven, make them count.

Though I went in with lack of spoilers there was a little thought at the back of my mind with the whole 9 years away from Europa Park thing. What a wonderful moment it could have been, having traversed the globe and, by my most recent assessments, ridden basically everything worth riding, to come back to such an early days trip and land a new #1. It was Mack, it was Multi-launch, it was Europa Park. It was possible. It wasn't to be.

Enough ramblings, it's the perfect prototype and near perfect showcase. Go ride it if you haven't already, it needs to be beheld.
Technology 11/10. Presentation 9.5/10. Layout 8/10.
By all rights it should be threatening my top 20, but I keep talking myself out of it.
Maybe.
For the feels.

Well, even recounting that was exhausting, I'll do the rest of the park separately I guess.

 

[Matt N]

Great report @HeartlineCoaster! I'm sorry to hear that the trip didn't go as planned, and from having read your other thread, what happened sounds awful and I'm so sorry it happened to you. I hope you're all doing OK now.

Nonetheless, it was interesting to hear your thoughts on Voltron. Given your love of Mack multi-launches, I did wonder if it would be another Helix or RTH calibre ride for you, so I'm mildly surprised to hear that it isn't. You use the word "lumpy" quite a bit; if you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by this exactly?

On a slightly more random note; if you don't mind me asking, what is it that continually keeps Helix at your #1 spot after all these years and after all these other coasters you've ridden?

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Nonetheless, it was interesting to hear your thoughts on Voltron. Given your love of Mack multi-launches, I did wonder if it would be another Helix or RTH calibre ride for you, so I'm mildly surprised to hear that it isn't. You use the word "lumpy" quite a bit; if you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by this exactly?

Ah, it's really hard to describe, but it pertains to the layout, or 'flow' of the coaster.
Picture you've been asked to design a ride. You first begin by listing out a sequence of elements that you want to have. These individual elements form all of your favourite sensations on a coaster.
The next step in your design is that you have to determine the timeline - how long do you spend within each of those elements, and between those elements for them each to best be appreciated. This determines the flow of the coaster.
Now imagine someone else comes along and messes up all of that timing that you planned out, and sticks another few lesser elements in there, just because they can.
The result is lumpy. Great things are still happening, but not in a timeline that flows from one to the other nicely. One moment hits you, but then before you're done with it, something else gets in the way.

Something like that anyway, but my feeling is that it's something in the way rides with shorter trains need to behave. It's just less... masterful.

On a slightly more random note; if you don't mind me asking, what is it that continually keeps Helix at your #1 spot after all these years and after all these other coasters you've ridden?

I'm gonna have to copy paste and then tweak the answer I gave you a couple years ago after RtH, it mostly hasn't changed:
Layout, landscape, location, interaction, the hill. Helix is still another level for me, but Voltron had a good crack at it.
The future is here, and it's launching beyond vertical.


Latest thoughts on the rest of the park then.

Alpenexpressenen Enzian

Fire is bad, but getting a new +1 is good. Fresh Mack mine train, rides well.
I was glad to not feel obliged to need the VR on this occasion and thereby ruin the visual experience although it's a shame it don't go through the diamond cave no more.
This statue of the miner mourning the loss of the dragon is such a beautiful touch.

Baa-a-a Express

Last time I was here this was under construction, a little blip of track seen from the observation tower.
It was being lovingly run by an old guy, so chill. Retirement goals to work on a ride like this.
The sheep sings as you go round, what more could you ask from a +1.

Piccolo Mondo

Don't remember much of anything about it from before. Don't remember much more now. Was cute.

Madame Freudenreich's Curiosites

Don't remember much of anything about the old dinosaur ride but this genre of 'add more character to a tired old dark ride' is something I can definitely get behind.

Gorgeous queue.

And dinosaurs with cake. Perfection.

Abenteueuer Atlantis

I liked working out which targets score more points on the interactive dark ride. Tactics always add to these things. S'alright.

Bench: the Ride

Don't remember much of anything about it from before. Don't remember much more now. Was cute.

Euromir

I liked Euromir a lot, save for the fact it bashed my knees up back in the day. Managed to avoid that this time and had a great time on it. Spins less than I remember with the whole controlled rotation aspect, but is probably wise, it goes real hard in that final section and would probably mess people up at any other angle. Great ride with great character. Next one to get a looking at now that Croatia is done though I hear.

Piraten in Batavia

Fire is bad, but getting a dark ride rebuilt is good. Don't remember much of anything about it from before.

Now it's amazing, a real standout in the park. In being very comparable to such Disney rides, it's nice to ride one that isn't a clone and matches the quality in many ways. Epic scenes, gorgeous scenery, a good time all round.

Snorri Touren

I love how understated some of the entrances are at Europa. With such a breadth of things to do they don't even need to hammer you over the head with -->MAJOR RIDE HERE<--.

And Snorri is a solid addition to the dark ride lineup. Love the character and the pacing in the first half of the ride but then it does end in a rather jarring and abrupt fashion, which I found a bit odd.

Best thing about the whole thing - his animatronic actually hits the right mushroom drums in time with the soundtrack.

Voletarium

Best thing about the whole thing - the drone in the queue.

It's fine, it's a flying theatre. Having one run semi-efficiently without a huge interruption between pre-show storyline and final showdown makes for a nice change but it's still a faff and then just wafting over some stuff. Was interesting how many European locations I didn't recognise - I swear they made some of them up.

Donkeys

The park has an excellent donkey game.

There's even one in the new area, with a hat.

Also love how many parts of the park can simply go unseen. Tell me where this is.

Eurosat

I was extremely worried about what had happened to my beloved Eurosat. Really fell hard for this ride in the past, it was a defining moment of the trip back in the day, an overwhelming emotional rollercoaster hearing the soundtrack in person on the lift, thoughts equivalent to 'I'm finally out living the dream and visiting these worldwide theme parks' in the early days of my hobby, perfectly paralelled with the phrase in the soundtrack 'finally, the time has come'.

Then they said they were making it the Can-Can. It felt like they were turning it into a joke. There's no way that can work, ride ruined.

And yet, somehow, it works. I expected to despise everything it had become but sitting there on that endless spiral lift hill - wait, what's this? They've kept the old music here, an updated and slowed orchestral version in perfect tribute to what this ride once was. The emotions hit me all again while in the dark, anticipating the inevitable. It's such a beautiful touch.

Then with all the build up and crescendo of reaching the top and it turning into something wild and fun, the Can-Can music actually works too. A wink from the moon and a bon voyage leads to a frantic carnival of sound with a wild indoor ride that still hauls and still kicks ass in all the ways it shouldn't be able to given the limitations of its situation. A classic piece of music that doesn't know how to end, but then neither does the ride, as you drop through a windmill and then there's just a whole extra floor to go after its already been going on an age.

It ends to epic fanfare, as it should. They've made it better, against all odds. I can only applaud.

Only thing I miss is the astronaut stuck in a wall mouthing words we'll never understand.

Silver Star

I'd heard they killed the fun of this ride too, by canning the cheesy ass song that was its only character anyway.

Don't remember the queue being quite as unpleasant, but it is. Basically a warehouse with some bad cars in it, and tv adverts for bad cars. But then on our second go, the theme hit on the speakers. It was all we needed. Ride on, Silver Star.

Still one of the better B&M hypers in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). The old school nature doesn't lend itself well to that magic row near the front, which works on many of the newer ones but is a bit of a dud here. Instead, back row is best for the unrefined, jankier moments that include ejector out of the midcourse and some uncharacteristically fun twists and turns that so many others fall short on.

Pegasus

Better than a Vekoma Junior, but priced accordingly.

Kassandra

I don't remember this madhouse being so incomprehensible, but it is. The magic of the swing is a little lost when you don't know what's going on in the themed experience, but the magic within the seat itself cannot be denied.

Jim Button

Hadn't heard of this, and though this park is likely highly researched, it looked like it posed the question 'is it a dark ride?'

It wasn't, but this big dragon is great.

Wodan

Still one of the better GCIs in my books, I had worried how it would stand the test of time (and experience). I don't see it as being quite as epic as it once was, it's better than 'the norm' but far from up there with the greats. What have they done to the start? I remember it being real out of control into that first drop but now it just wobbles around on some asphalt.

Arthur

This went up in my estimation in that it was nothing like how I remembered. The locker faff has been rectified. I remember issues with the screens in that sitting in the back row would miss all the action in a comedic sense, unless I'm confusing it with another ride. There aren't many though. The soundtrack was funny. It had far more physical sets than I recall. It rode with a little vigor too and thus, wasn't entirely pointless. I'll assume they've fixed things rather than that I was wrong.
Oh, and is that spotlight and camera combo meant to look like a face? Creepy.

Frog game is pretty good too.

Think that's about it for Europa. Blue Fire was a thing of course, but I've ridden like 12 of them since, so really didn't care. They messed up the onboard soundtrack on my single lap, which is the only thing that makes the original worth doing to me, so that sucked.

Had a lovely 2 days, queues were a little bigger than you'd normally like to get absolutely everything done or spend time on some filler coasters, but shout out to the free fastrack system. If you game it on your phone in the first couple hours it can reward you pretty well, including a walk on Voltron or two.

Mm.. Voltron.

Up next - Coccinelle

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Walibi Rhône-Alpes

The other new draw in mainland Europe was of course Mahuka. Feels like it fell a distant third to the Mackness going on this year and isn't getting enough attention, but that's part of the appeal of this park. Understated, but brilliant.

Mahuka

Not naming names, but lessons available here on how to make a new ride look good, and complete, even though it had opened a few days prior and there's still mud under it.

Nice details in the queue.

There was a radio here that would occasionally fire up and play '90s hits. Character. A sense of fun.

These bag 'chutes' were pretty genius.

And those trains look tasty.

So, how was the ride?
Loved it.

The trains are tasty. It's exactly what the single rail needs. Openness, freedom, convenience.

Being multi-launch it's got a satisfying length to it. A crescendo of sequence.

Full of some weird and wacky stuff, look at that ribbon of a track.

Airtime in places is really good. Bit of a Mosasaurus inspired roll at the end to finish.

All in all it just looks and rides great. I prefer it to the RMCs, which by default puts it in the top 5%.
It doesn't have the extremes of a Railblazer/WW, but I feel like you have to be very forgiving about everything else going on with those rides and solely focus on those extremes. Let us not speak about Jersey Devil.

This hits the spot just right. Comfortable, varied and long while still being a little wild and unpredictable as it can perform manouevres you wouldn't otherwise expect. It does a bit of everything and it flows so well. From the moment you step into the area really, they run a tight ship considering the capacity. The perfect addition for a park this size, they just keep on nailing it here.

Mystic

This was the last thing they nailed and it holds up. I love Mystic, it's got such an aura about it. Still a top 3 Gerstlauer.

The guy with the fish laughs at you as you dispatch and it's all downhil from there. Great sense of intimidation and guest reaction - this is still the bad boy of the park.

And it rides real good, with some killer ejector and even more killer hangtime. Stuff like this just shouldn't be possibile but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Timber

Timber is great for what it does. A classic showcase of Gravity getting way more than should be possible out of something so small scale.

That said, it does manage to 'feel' the shortest of those, but at least it still hits hard and makes it count.

Not sure what they've done at the end. Added a trim to the final hill which kills its impact but also provides a hilariously awkward moment of braking which adds to the character and almost balances out the loss.


And that's the park. They've tidied it up real nice, it's very pleasant just walking around. There's little else going on, a few +1s, no dark rides (sadly) and their 4D cinema seems to be out of action this season (not so sad).
It doesn't matter though. The quality of the top 3 coasters, including their consistency and variety, makes this one of the standout locations in Europe. They're enough to keep me happy just bouncing between for a half day, a full day, it doesn't really matter. You can play it cool at Walibi France. Let's hope it doesn't turn into Walibi Holland.

 

[Matt N]

I’m glad you enjoyed Mahuka @HeartlineCoaster!

Out of interest, did you find it rattly? I’ve heard a lot of people say that the Intamin Hot Racers are more rattly and uncomfortable than the RMC equivalent.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Rattle is a thing that exists and it was more noticeable towards the back. Didn't impact the experience for me though.
Comfort-wise it's always going to win over awkward shoulder straps, but also has a better seat and better straddle.

 

[Howie]

You know what I think? I think you put the hat on the donkey.
Appreciate the gesture, but still doesn't count.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

You know what I think? I think you put the hat on the donkey.

Wouldn't be the first time.


Legoland Deutschland

Been here before, not much to say, just a whistlestop tour of some old creds and a new B&M.

The little Gerst used to be the best in the park. Potentially still is.

I always thought this was its name though, but no, that's the Zierer Dragon with Dark Ride section. One thing I noted here is how the big lego dragon isn't continuous like Windsor - you see two different parts of him, but they aren't physically connected.

Kinda bothers me that the new land is just plonked unceremoniously behind Egypt. The Windsor Mythica has a bit of a presence to it, but to a visitor of that one, this just felt like a low effort copy and paste of some figures.

As such this lost its striking impact somewhat. Pretty cool entrance on the flying theatre. Now a blue shed for a bad cred.

Oh, I spoilt the review. Well I don't know how, but they managed to make this less interesting than Mandrill Mayhem. It was such a non-event of a coaster. I can't even remember it's name.

Uncomfortable inversions and very little else interesting going on. Didn't seem popular either. Shortest queue, area was dead. I guess it looks kinda cool at the right angle, but deep down I wanted it to kick Chessington's ass. Shouldn't have expected that from it also being Merlin, and Legoland.

But hey, +1, and back to having all the B&Ms in Europe, woo.

And they have one of these. Eww.


P.S. didn't realise German Daddy Pig (Papa Wutz) was a thing now, what a scam.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Skyline Park

Had a few new creds to bag in this very functional German park.

I do admire how understated the entrance is and, while lacking any soul whatsoever as a collection of rides in some fields and trees, the place is rather more pleasant in atmosphere than I remember.

A stock layout maurer spinner that's rough? Check.

On the way to this. I've finally caught up with one of these monstrosities. Was here last when it was supposed to have opened, but it was still under construction. Let's not talk about Desmo Race.

It still looks like it's under construction, but there was some mild excitement when I saw the pace at which one of the cars hit this hill, though angles can be deceiving as we well know.

It's actually OK. Less offensive than I thought. Couldn't quite tell what the controlled aspect was doing, only that the texture of the throttle handle was a little rough in the hand and I bagged a top 3 time for the day, 30 minutes after opening. Woo.
It rides weird, but kinda fun. Some light airtime, a bit of speed and some odd laterals. Just seems so over-engineered with those teeth on every inch of track while not really achieving a whole lot other than being a reliability and capacity nightmare.

In typical European fashion, the 'new for 2024' coaster that was already printed on the park maps looked like this. Only an SBF as well, can't be hard can it?

Thankfully there's another new to me SBF in Flotter Otto.

I think this is the best in the park now, with a growing appreciation for rare and jank coasters over the years. It provides a sense of unnerving freedom, and peril, as you hang there, spin around, swing and hit trees. They don't make em like this no more.

They make em like this instead. It was a thing. This was the last in the park to open because timeslots. It was a 'lowen' (lion) day - cheaper tickets at the cost of limited attraction availability.

Oh and they have this now. It's rather good inside, with good music and solid pacing - not obnoxiously loud or fast. The prolonged outdoor sections are a little weird in this setting, likely working better at night, in a fairground environment, but then it would be pay per ride and I probably wouldn't pay.

Cheers to a +3.

P.S. didn't realise, though should have expected, their 200ft Gerstlauer project was a joke. What a scam.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

Bayern Park

New entrance is nice, such a chill park.

From Voltron to Voltrum, this was new to me. Love a massive Funtime drop tower and this was no exception.

The lack of absolutely anything in the surroundings and the scale of a nearby forest looking so tiny gave me some height-related heebie-jeebies. Rides can still scare me - fantastic.

Up the top of a hill was the new boy and the main draw, FirleFranze. You know you're onto a winner by name alone sometimes.

What's in the shed?

A fab little Gerstlauer, that's what. Theme is simple, there's a screen of the mascot lion mashing some buttons in hilarious fashion before 'things go wrong', runaway train style.

Somewhere along the way, magic happens.

Spot the difference.

Anyway, it's great. Satisfying ride length, some decent forces for the size and a lovely sense of all out fun. Perfect for a place like this.

I didn't find this on my previous visit, not that I care for Butterflies. Thought it was kinda cool, and weird, to do one indoors, themed to space. Self-operation is always a joy. Passed on the flippy thing next to it.

This guy is a legend.

This ride type is a legend.

They sure have been busy.

Stadlgaudi is a little revolving theatre, interactive shooter thingy with a cute farmyard theme.

See? Nicely done.

The indoor drop tower still has its own merits. It's only a kiddie bouncy one, but is quirkily themed to spooky goblins and has a cracking soundtrack. Combined with a sense of mystery and a maze of a queue, always worth a shot.

And the OG main event is Freischutz, a legend of a launched X-car.

It also has a maze of a queue, which is a bit of a pain when you're dying in the hot sun.

Was pretty much how I remember from all those years ago. Surprisingly intense, and a little bumpy.
The continuous sequence of inverted top hat, vertical loop and whatever tight corner after provides a really sustained quantity of high positives.

From there it just kinda rattles its way back to the station in an unrefined sense. It's a shame that it lacks any of the exceptional moments of a Shock, or even a Formule X, but at least it has its own identity, that China copied with weird trains and then didn't open... ew.

Once was enough, mainly because it was too hot and we had places to be, but this is a pleasant little place with a well rounded lineup, well worth your Euros.

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

After losing half the trip I decided to get Hyperia out of the way a bit earlier than planned.

Thorpe Park

If context is necessary, I haven't been to Thorpe for many years now, since I stopped renewing the annual pass I had because I went to two preview events for The Walking Dead: The Ride with it and yet have still never experienced The Walking Dead: The Ride. Also the only reason I had the pass was to pop in on a September weekday after nearby work and walk onto something fun like Inferno or Detonator. The last time I did that everything had a 30 minute wait and I just left again. Now I use the internet and it's like the American Dad bit of old man Steve watching the weather - judging it on behalf of how bad a day everyone else would be having there. 30 minutes for <insert any ride at Thorpe Park here>? No thank you.
Plus parking costs, the faff of getting in, all that, it's amazing how the tiny little details of logistics can be so offputting just because it's your local park and you could come back any time. Also again shows I'm really not a revisit kinda guy. Any effort at all is only worth it to me if it's for something new. And then it's game on!

Hyperia

This was not long after Hyperia got its second train back on track. Arrived about an hour before park opening and strolled through far too much empty security cattle pen to end up queueing between Vortex and a beach for rope drop.

Headed over to Hyperia. It wasn't ready due to still being under morning checks, but plenty of people had filled the queue. There goes the smoke budget for the year.

It was stupidly hot, to the point that their new ugly and unshaded land was essentially a risk to human health and some staff managed to scare most people back out of the queue again with varying statements from 'dont know how long it's going to be' to 'highly recommend you check out some other rides'.

As it was Thorpe Park I had no interest in checking out their other rides, so managed to ignore their advice and camp out in the shade of the queueline shop. It opened not too long after anyway, about an hour after the park, so my 'wait time' was ~2 hours all in, not bad considering what it had been for most up until that point.

The main queue is pretty horrible, was thankful to move through its entirety at a walking pace. Reminds me of the Mandrill Mayhem - it's there, it meanders, it doesn't seem to have had any further thought put into it. There's no good focal points for the ride, a lot of cages, a lot of sunburn, fences were already in disrepair because of simple mistakes and people being people. I don't like the tagline, the theme is offensively weak to the point that it would have been better off without one, the R.A.P.E. queue was longer than the main one, nullifying its existence, I'm in a bad mood and could go on, but meh.

So, how was the ride?
Well god damn.

As we've established, it's Thorpe Park and expectations were low. A 200ft Mack in the UK should have had me all over it but somehow I remained ambivalent to its existence while everyone else had already made up their minds about what it was going to be like based on some mud.

With what it did, it far exceeded those expecations. I didn't get any special rows but the first drop is rather unhinged in delivery. You don't get your traditional ejector out of it because things change too much as you go down, but I like that, first drops need a good shake up to still be interesting sometimes.

The positives hit hard and fast at the bottom, I like that, with a lack of any real 'speed moments' it needs a way to remind you that this is now the fastest in the country, baby.

What happens next? *checks photo* Erm, some inversion into airtime thing that hits nice and hard, with a sustained pinning to the restraint, I like that. A real moment of yes, UK, this is what airtime is actually like, we're not playing around.

The more I think about the next element, the more I love it. It's so out there. Like nothing I've ever seen or done before, except in bad planet coaster creations. It shouldn't exist. It's hard for the brain to process and I couldn't even say what forces it brings to the table, I like that.

Then there's a stall. It's ok.

Then there's a trim. It's a shame.

Then there's some airtime. It's ok.

Then there's some brakes. And the only other photo angle I managed to get. It felt very Lightning Rod (when it was good) to me, minds blown but over before you can think about it. It's an acquired taste in coaster design for sure. There's some merit to not naturally fizzling out, but then it doesn't naturally do so. It artificially does with the trim and ahhhh, it's eh. A downer for the coaster connoisseur, but loved the crowd reactions it got. Thorpe teens were not ready for this sh*t.

Not quite a top 25, but not far off. As a piece of hardware this is something special, even if it didn't manage to walk away with an absolute W. I'm very interested to see already how 'having done Hyperia' skews the new UK enthusiasts perspective of foreign rides now, compared to what used to basically be 'oh THIS is how coasters can be'. We've got the taste, but it's a tease.

Guess I've done all the big Macks again now and I remain super excited for where they're headed. Individual parts of all of these are next level, once again, it's just about wrapping it up in the neatest of packages now. The best is yet to come, surely.

Ghost Train

Obviously I hadn't done this since they fell out with Derren Brown. It opens late so you can get on it pretty easily, unlike anything else in the park right now. Also no one knows what it is any more. I had to explain it to several guests who approached me while standing outside for just a moment. Well, er, it's a ghost train.

No, I couldn't help myself, but themed experience with actors? Yeah, we'll go with that.

If context is necessary, I hated Derren Brown's themed experience with actors. Narratively it flowed horribly, the VR was complete sh*t, the 'improvements' they made only worked once and it was forever tainted with the air of 'we could have had 6 gravity group woodies instead', or something. You know, home park problems.

I didn't hate this, but I didn't care for it either. The preshow wastes time by having a voice tell you the rules, and then the actor repeating those rules, probably because people are people. Your own experience may vary hugely depending on the gravitas of said actor and the rowdiness of the room but it all turns it into a slightly structured Dungeons-style flow rather than a messy Sub terra-style flow.

So they've bailed on the magic of the train, because that never worked anyway. You get on and the actors kill time by attempting to be creepy for far too long. Some (children) are genuinely scared or playing it up and it's fine, it just doesn't do anything for me, I don't get in that zone.

You get off and stand in another room. Actors writhe about. A couple scares, the human one worked well on the group, the mechanical one was laughable. Back on the train.

I've since been told that something may have been wrong with the ride system (other than the fact that they don't use the fancy bit of it any more anyway) and it was more of the same, actors killing FAR too much time attempting to be creepy, waiting for the lights to go out. Big human scare again that worked well, but then where do you go from here? Oh, the danger isn't real and you've fizzled out like the trim on Hyperia, now we sit and wait in a less scary atmosphere for the train to stop and get off?

The problem is probably me, I'm trying to think of something that's actually good to compare it to and I can't. I first need something like this that actually gets me going, like I have in the coaster and dark ride world. This is neither, and I've spent far too much time on it already.


Anyway, the rest of the park was looking especially grim. Queues I wouldn't want to wait in for rides I both would and wouldn't want to ride. It was a million degrees, Staines was on fire, had a gig to go to in London that evening so called it a day after 3 rides in 3 hours. The Thorpe Park way.

Still haven't done The Walking Dead: The Ride.

 

[Matt N]

Great report @HeartlineCoaster! I'm sorry to hear that your European trip ended early on such a sour note; I remember reading your earlier thread, and I hope that you're all recovering OK and were able to get the issues resolved. Nonetheless, it is nice to hear your thoughts on Hyperia!

If you don't mind me asking, I'd be interested to know; is Hyperia now your favourite UK coaster, or does something else still hold that title for you?

 

[HeartlineCoaster]

If you don't mind me asking, I'd be interested to know; is Hyperia now your favourite UK coaster, or does something else still hold that title for you?

Yes, comfortably.