Dark rides not hitting at all - please tell me I'm not going insane???

[Rob Coasters]

Hi. A call for help here. Recently I've done a few dark rides where I've come off with zero feelings for them:
-River Caves
-Wallace and Gromit: Thrill-O-Matic
-Valhalla
-Pirates of the Caribbean
-Geister Rikscha
-Vliegende Hollander
-Fata Morgana
-Symbolica
-Villa Volta
-and literally every Europa Park dark ride except maybe Arthur or Voletarium.

And I've wondered why I ride so many of these supposedly world-class dark rides and come off thinking they weren't all that, and consistently being severely underwhelmed with all of them. However, after almost two years of struggling with enjoying dark rides, I think I've finally nailed my reason as to why: I don't understand the storyline, and I look at effects thinking "I wonder how they did that" or "oh hey it's Pepper's Ghost" or "oh that's impressive" without being able to immerse myself into the worlds in the slightest.

Not understanding the storyline results in:
-all of the sets become "ok figure it out yourself what any of this means".
-all of the sets feel disconnected from each other and I don't get why scene X follows scene Y.
-I don't understand what's happening, or why something's happening.
-I have no clue who the main characters are (unless it's made extremely obvious like with Pardoes in Symbolica, or if it's intentionally dubious and all the characters are just 'idk some pirates' for example).
-the endings always come as a surprise to me. a lot of dark rides end in me thinking "wait, it's over?" when the offload suddenly appears in view.
-if I look up the storyline before I ride it in order to understand what happens, do I run the risk of completely spoiling everything for myself?

Seeing all of the cool effects makes me think:
-oh, floating butterflies? I wonder how they made them float, are they attached to really difficult to see strings? and then I put my focus into trying to see the strings.
-oh, wizard dude holding a floating magical orb? I wonder if there's a hidden rod out of view that's making the orb appear as if it's floating.
-oh, spinning ghosts? I found out how they did that because I was so unbelievably fascinated by it, there's a hidden mirror under where the track is.
-if an effect intrigues or leaves me jaw-dropped as much as the spinning ghosts effect did, I end up finding out how they did it, and as a result ALL of the magic is lost when I see it on a future ride.

I wonder if anyone else has this issue: I cannot find a connection between almost any dark ride I do because I can't understand the storyline, what's happening or why, and when I see a cool effect all of my focus goes towards thinking "how did they do that" rather than being immersed into the world.
I try so hard to enjoy dark rides, I remember riding Piraten in Batavia and sitting on an edge seat and viewing the sets in a way that should theoretically bring me into the world - I looked in a way that blocked off the boat, any people, any ceilings, my full vision was the sets. And it failed to even suck me into the world a little bit.
Please check out my Europa Park trip reports to see me dive further into intricate details of what exactly I'm not fond of when it comes to their dark rides.

I can't keep coming off dark rides so disappointed by almost all of them. So many attractions that could be heartwarming masterpieces that could be real mood-brighteners, so many "good vibes" attractions that should have me coming off with the biggest smile on my face, yet almost none of them do. They all become "here's some physical sets that are connected in some way, good luck finding out how and no we won't tell you". You would think Madame Freudeunreich's Curiosites would have me become the most joyous person in the world after seeing all those dinosaurs in birthday suits. Ha...

It irritates me so much to have these views. There are dark rides that have almost made me cry (Droomvlucht). There are dark rides that NAIL it for me and have me coming off thinking it was one of the best rides I'd ever done (Phantom Manor). There are dark rides that just make me happy (Carnaval Festival). But there are countless others that don't do the same.

My questions are:
-can anyone relate to my problems? Is there anyone who shares this experience?
-what can I do to enjoy dark rides more? If I figure out how an effect works, is the magic just broken forever? Is there anything I can do to eliminate that "oh how did they do that?" thought in my mind and actually attempt to immerse myself into the attraction's worldbuilding? What do you do when you can't decipher a ride's story and all of the sets become "here's some models we built"?
-is there anything to 'save' dark rides for me? Have I gone too deep? Is me not rating so many world-class attractions just the beginning of a severe slippery slope into oblivion?

I wish I liked them more. I want to find out if there's anything I can do. I see people talking about Pirates in Batavia like it's the best thing they've literally ever ridden. I see people talking about Vliegende Hollander like it affected their entire life forever. I see people talking about Fata Morgana and how it made them cry just thinking about it. Can't relate. Can't relate. Can't relate. And it PAINS ME to think that way.

 

[Matt N]

@Rob Coasters To me, it sounds as though you’re simply someone who prefers quite an explicit, known storyline in their dark ride. And that’s fine; we all have different opinions! Truth be told, I’m somewhat similar to a degree. There are also a lot of people who prefer it when storylines aren’t explicitly told and the ride relies more on “show, don’t tell” to tell its story, and that’s fine too!

I’d also say that with foreign language dark rides, it will naturally be harder to follow a storyline, because it’s not in your native tongue. Any storyline-based ride will fall down if the story is being told in a language you’re not fluent in; if a story is being told in, say, German and you only fluently speak English, then you’ll naturally struggle to understand it to an extent. That’s also true with types of storytelling techniques and such; John Wardley always used to say that he could have never worked for Disney or someone foreign, as his storytelling techniques were tailored to the British audience and wouldn’t necessarily have worked abroad. Vice versa, a dark ride in a mainland European theme park is tailored to the audience of its country, who may not necessarily have the same ideas of what makes good storytelling as a British person.

In terms of you leaping to “how did they do that?” rather than being “immersed in the world” so to speak; some people are just more scientifically minded and curious, and perhaps you’re one of those people? If you are, I’d maybe recommend not trying to be “immersed in the world” and instead perhaps riding dark rides with an appreciation for the technical wonder and objective excellence behind them, if that’s what interests you. If you do that, you may even find yourself getting immersed in the worlds again!

What I would say is that I think trying to be “immersed in a world” is a bit like going to sleep, in that if you tell yourself you need to be immersed and are thinking too hard about whether you’re immersed or not, it will be a lot harder to become immersed. I know this is very easy for me to say, but I think it relies on not overthinking it too much and just sitting back and enjoying the ride for what it offers.

Those are just my thoughts, though… I apologise if that’s terrible advice!

 

[JoshC.]

-River Caves - Meh, bit rubbish innit
-Wallace and Gromit: Thrill-O-Matic - Fine, but if you don't have a connection with the IP, you won't connect with the ride
-Geister Rikscha - Old and a bit rubbish
-Vliegende Hollander - Okay you're crazy for not liking this one, sorry
-Fata Morgana - Arguably no story line told
-Symbolica - Big fairy tale vibe, not everyone's thing
-Villa Volta - Difficult to connect with if you don't understand Dutch

Of the ones you've listed, I've chucked in some general thoughts.

I think for you personally, there's a couple of things which might be hindering your enjoyment of dark rides. One is potentially high expectations: "I've wondered why I ride so many of these supposedly world-class dark rides". From that list above, most are middle of the run, fine but nothing spectacular dark rides in my opinion. Another issue will be language barriers. If you don't speak the language the ride is communicated in, you won't understand the story, and that seems to be a big thing for you?

what can I do to enjoy dark rides more? If I figure out how an effect works, is the magic just broken forever? Is there anything I can do to eliminate that "oh how did they do that?" thought in my mind and actually attempt to immerse myself into the attraction's worldbuilding? What do you do when you can't decipher a ride's story and all of the sets become "here's some models we built"?

When I can't figure out a ride's story, I just sit back, take it all in and enjoy what's in front of me. Sometimes maybe good. Sometimes maybe sh-...not so good. But in saying that, you can almost always work out vaguely what's happening. Are we trying to escape somewhere? Are we fighting a villain? Are we just passively going through scenes as a spectator? Are you going through scenes as if we're on a tour? I think most dark rides can be chucked into one of those categories, albeit loosely at times.

Or you can try and write your own story. Way I see it, theme parks are there for our entertainment: if for whatever reason the entertainment shown doesn't entertain me, can I use it as a basis for something that might? Not a perfect solution, but a solution.

-is there anything to 'save' dark rides for me? Have I gone too deep? Is me not rating so many world-class attractions just the beginning of a severe slippery slope into oblivion?

It could simply be that you aren't a 'dark ride person', like how some people aren't 'water ride people', 'flat ride people', 'drop tower people, 'scare maze people', etc. It could be that no matter what there is out there, it just doesn't click for you.

But you say you want to enjoy them. Maybe it's just what you've ridden isn't your cup of tea. Who cares what other people think. There's people out there who have *insert your least favourite here" in their Top 5, or whatever.

For what it's worth, I like Fata Morgana. But I can in no way relate to people who say it made them cry.

 

[Ollie]

I think a lot of it comes down to expectations. I've had similar in the past. Most notibly when I went to Florida for my first visit about12 years ago. I'd spent my whole enthusiast life watching videos and hearing all the hype around Disney and Universal dark rides and when I finally got to ride them I ended up feeling underwhelmed.

Fast forward to now. Went to Disney Paris and absolutely fell in love with dark rides like Pirates, and Phantom Manor. I just allowed myself to be absorbed into it and immerse myself into the setting.

 

[Disco Lumberjack]

I find I often end up being quite oblivious to the story of a dark ride, but I’m drawn in by the visual element. Phantom Manor for example has one of the most visually stunning stations I’ve ever seen. It’s about enjoying being in that space and enjoying the wealth of things to look at, as well as the sounds and smells to a slightly lesser extent.

If I was to make a recommendation it would be to try and get into a mindset of stopping to smell the roses. I find that mental state to be very conducive to enjoying not just well themed parks, but dark rides too.

I also think you shouldn’t trouble yourself too much if it’s just not for you.

 

[Graeme]

What I've noticed is that the modern ones have much more focus on story. Rise of the Resistance and Jurassic World Adventure look like they actually put you into their respective films.

But personally, I think the most important ingredient is charm. It's why Dream Flight at Efteling is such a great one, and Professor Burp's Bubbleworks is probably the most beloved UK dark ride. It really wasn't that spectacular, but it was just enjoyable to be in there with those sights and smells.

Arguably, no one did it better than Classic Disney. I don't think there's a better dark ride than Pirates of the Caribbean, but it has to be the Californian original (or Tokyo). Walt Disney knew it was important to escalate the entertainment value, more so than the story being in the right order. So it starts with the quietest part, the Bayou. Then the Sea Cave, which can be interpreted as the fate of the pirates. Then it has what is arguably a "flashback" - the attack on the town; and then finishes with all the most entertaining scenes, such as everyone singing the song, the singing donkey etc. The Paris version, on the other hand, has the story in the "right" order (with the Sea Cave at the end), but it doesn't work quite as well.

The Haunted Mansion also ends with a song & dance number, presumably because it's just the most entertaining way of doing it.

Artistry is also very important. The madhouses do nothing for me, because it's just an illusion. The only type of dark rides I really like are ones where you travel through large scenes (preferably in a boat), with lots of detail and animatronics to appreciate. It's a very hard thing to get right.

 

[Rob Coasters]

Thank you for all the responses everyone! Sorry it's taken a while to get back to you lot but finally here.

@Matt N I definitely think language barriers are a large cause to the problem, especially if a lot of the story is told through voice (such as madhouses). Although sometimes the tone of the voice should be able to communicate the general mood of something even if you can't fully understand what's being said, which happened with me on Valhalla. I think that's something that I need to pay further attention to.

Your point on me being "scientifically minded" actually does raise a good point as this is something I catch myself thinking very often. Especially at Efteling, I caught myself being thoroughly impressed with how much was simply moving, most notably in the fairytale forest - it fascinated me how dynamic everything was and I was always thinking "it's crazy how much work into keeping all of this going virtually every day". The simple idea of daily operations at amusement parks also interests me. It blows my mind how when I visit a park, that's just one of their countless consecutive operating days and my experiences are daily occurrences. It's INSANE to me how parks like Winter Wonderland do daily 12-hour operating days with hundreds of trains being sent per hour every single day for weeks on end.

I wonder if going into dark rides with a "I'll appreciate the technical aspects" mindset instead of a "I'll try to understand why I see what I see, and connect the dots" one will change anything for me. I'm honestly not confident that it will as there's also that undying need to find out what's happening which admittedly makes things... difficult. We'll see.

Maybe some issues also stem from trying too hard to immerse myself which I very obviously did with stuff like Batavia where I did everything I could to immerse myself, and ended up ultimately trying way too hard and in hindsight it ended up turning the dark ride experience into a bit of a chore of attempting to connect dots and observing everything that's happening and ultimately forgetting to, you know, actually enjoy the ride. I think if I just sit back and admire the scenes without trying as hard as possible to find meaning could also amplify my final thoughts on the rides.

@JoshC. My issue with Hollander is that the ride is boat ride through some darkness with some buildings, okay what of it -> the lift hill climax with Medusa or whoever's head, and her head changing is admittedly REALLY cool -> huh, what, the dark bit's done already??? -> useless float through the water after the coaster section, just knowing that the ride's over brings me more disappointment. I had seen friends hyping up this thing called "the fog room" which was, just some room with some smoke in it? I have no idea why that appeals so much or is such a major spoiler of the ride.
However Hollander is probably the dark ride that I want to get on THE MOST out of all of them because I feel like I must have missed so much. I can't have ridden the same ride as everyone else, surely? I almost refuse my opinion of it, like my 2018 opinion of "Nemesis isn't that good" before I rightfully corrected it this year.

Also, making up your own story is a good idea. If I can't make out the story, why not decide for myself what it is. "I've decided that this big white ghost wants to eat the rat king" and then I can make up backstories about them - sounds fun actually.

I've thought multiple times that maybe I really am not a dark ride person, but I've decided I'm set that I still want to ride all of them, like with drop towers. It's been a hot, HOT minute since I've ridden a drop tower that made me come off thinking "that was decent" but I still want to ride every one I come across (okay, not EVERY one, but the ones that seem like they may be cautiously good). I'm sure that I can find connections to dark rides if I ride certain ones multiple times, it took me quite a few rides on Tower of Terror to fully appreciate the ride as I distinctly remember coming off it underwhelmed on my first couple laps.

Perhaps some dark rides just need more than a few goes on and won't instantly click after the first or maybe even second ride, which is I guess also part of the problem. But hey, it gives me an excuse to go back to the parks that have those rides.

I remember someone saying Fata Morgana was one of their favourite rides in the park not because of the scenes, but because it's an 8 minute sit down & rest with things happening all around you - it's the 'best sit down in the park', something like that.

And yes - charm is a big player in why there are some dark rides that I enjoy so much, I haven't actually considered that!

 

[Straw Man]

Droomvlucht is just by far the best dark ride in the Efteling. It's a simple concept that's flawlessly executed.

Fata Morgana mostly suffers from the animatronics not aging great. The crocodiles, tigers, and torture room scene used to freak me the hell out as a child, but yeah now it's kind of like watching old CGI. They have added some effects in recent years, so I wouldn't put it past them to modernize the animatronics at some point. Waiting times have dropped off significantly since its heyday, but I don't see them putting it to the wrecking ball anytime soon.

Symbolica is technically the most advanced one, but that's it. It's loud, it's obnoxious, for anyone over 10 it's almost certainly better enjoyed when not able to understand Dutch. For the most part it's just Pardoes yelling incantations, and the prim and proper killjoy butler trying to kick you out. As far as I'm concerned, the story is about how grotesquely wealthy the king has become by keeping the inhabitants of Fairytale Forest in perpetual indentured servitude. It's basically some trippy mashup between Nickelodeon and Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Without the catchy songs.

De Vliegende Hollander is fog, one terrific moment with the drop and evil laugh, and a small bit of mediocre roller coaster. It barely classifies as a dark ride.

The second Villa Volta preshow has always been off. An uncanny robot reminiscing about the time he robbed a church, and almost got away with it, is not the first thing that would come to my mind when designing a ride for the children's section. Neither is the lengthy radio play from preshow one.

I think the terrific soundtracks by Ruud Bos sort of cloud the judgment of people who grew up around these rides a bit.