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Cajun Squirrel FTW?

The permanent flavour should be?

  • Cajun Squirrel

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Crispy Duck and Hoisin

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Builder's Breakfast

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Fish and Chips

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Onion Bhaji

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Chilli and Chocolate

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Eugh, crisps (for the awkward ones)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
This is the first I've hear of this but I would say...

Fish and Chips FTW.

...the best food ever created.
 
Hmmm. I'd like to say Hoisin Duck, with I haven't been to Asda in a while.. Might venture down tomorrow morning.

Other than that, Onion Bhaji sounds delish!
 
Builders Breakfast, need to taste them though but that seems most appealing (Om nom nom)
 
So far,I've tried Fish and Chips,Cajun Squirrel and Chilli and Chocolate.

Fish and Chips-I thought the smell of these was spot on,but the taste is awful,so much so that I gave the bag away after trying just a few of them.Like licking an old mans jockstrap.

Chilli and Chocolate-You can taste the chocolate straight away,and then the chilli hits the back of your throat,but I didn't like the mixture,and the after taste was foul.Like licking the crutch of old grannies knickers.

Cajun Squirrel-Definately the best of the three,but it reminded me of another flavour of crisps,and I found them bland after a while.

So not really struck on any so far.
 
Just tasted builders breakfast. Was ok but tasted very peculiar. You couldn't single out any tastes and they weren't strong enough.

Next test: Onion Baji!
 
Ive had duck and the breakfast one. Neither taste of said things. Neither were very good.

What does squirrel taste like? :S
 
Joey said:
What does squirrel taste like? :S
Click to expand...
Squirrel :wink:

The best one however is the Chocolate and Chilli, because it tastes most like the supposed flavour should. There is however an icky after taste which can only be removed by eating more (clever clever people at Walkers :lol: ), so be advised to have a drink handy for when you've finished the packet.
 
Crispy Duck and Fish and Chips sound awesome, while squirrel and chili/chocolate sound... intriguing, so I'd try them if I saw them.
Don't like the other two at all - the breakfast is probably a cross between smoky bacon and ketchup (UGH), while onion is ugh in general.

I tried to track them down today, but could only find multipacks including the flavours I didn't want to try, and thus I didn't buy any, disappointingly, and still haven't tried any of the 6. I'll try again next week...
 
Fish and Chips flavour smell like dirty knickers and so I am never ever going to eat one. However I did try the hoisin duck ones and they are quite nice, the taste isn't strong enough I feel, there is just a little hint of flavour there, still quite nice though.
 
Hoisin Duck ftw, because the person who's entry it was lives about two miles away from me! Plus, they genuinely are rather nice.

Other than that, i've only had the Builder's Breakfast ones, and they just takes like beans.
 
I'm yet to try any of these, so haven't voted. The duck ones sound nicest though... or maybe bhaji. They've got them in the canteen at work, but I'm ****ed if I'm gonna pay 60p for a bag of crisps, especially when Nige in our office sells them out of his desk drawer for 20p a bag
 
Tried them all now. In order of preference:

1. Cajan Squirrel
2. Builders Breakfast (It tasted like egg at first :p)
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Crispy Duck and Hoisin (Though it don't taste at all like it)
5. Fish + Chips (Nasty flavoured)
6. Chilli and Chocolate (The flavour is there, but just not strong enough)

I submitted an entry btw, but it didn't get picked. Piccalilli FTW :p
 
Eating a packet of the crispy duck ones now. Ugh. If I was blind tested, I wouldn't guess this flavour in... a long time, so they do not taste like duck or hoisin, nor are they very nice. Fail.
 
Dont even try the chocolate ones they are horrid, tbh I think its a cheek to even charge for them they are that bad.

So far the only okish ones are the onion ones.
 
I've still only tried the Squirrel one.

I did find this though that I thought was pretty funny. :p
It's quite a read but is pretty funny.

Exciting new crisp flavours? More like a dirty protest in mass-produced packets. By Charlie Brooker

Walkers are keen to point out that no squirrels were harmed in the making of their crisps.

In these health-conscious times, potato crisps have a bad reputation. Gone are the days when you could walk down the street cheerfully snuffling through a pack of Smokey Bacon. Try that now and people will stare at you like you're shooting heroin directly into a genital vein.

The standard tuckshop brands of crisps are shameful things, to be eaten in secret on a car journey. Of course, the fey "gourmet" varieties - thicker, hand-cooked "artisan" crisps with flavours such as Aged Stilton and Ambassador's Port - are still considered acceptable by the food Nazis, provided they're served in a bowl at a cocktail party, surrounded by organic vol-au-vents and snobs. That's because our food neurosis is actually snootiness in disguise.

Consequently, the cheap end of the crisp market has to pull stunts to distract you from the crushing social disgrace involved in actually purchasing a bag. Walkers' latest wheeze is a fun competition. Stage one: they ran adverts inviting the public to suggest exotic new taste sensations. Stage two: they chose six finalists, released them into the wild, and asked the public to vote for their favourite. Stage three: the votes are counted and the top flavour becomes a permanent member of the Walkers line-up. We're currently in stage two.

To lend the enterprise some gravitas, on the Walkers website you can watch kitchen surrealist Heston Blumenthal discussing the new flavours as though he genuinely believes they're edible. But are they? As the nation's foremost investigative journalist, I decided to find out, by buying a packet of each and sampling them. It was a mission that would take me to the very heart of a newsagent's and back. Here are my capsule reviews of the six competing varieties:



Builder's Breakfast

There's some confusion over the exact contents of the Builder's Breakfast. On the website, Heston claims they taste of "sausages, bacon, eggs and beans", whereas the packet itself lists "bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce". This would imply that even Walkers don't know what they've got on their hands, possibly because the crisps themselves taste of stale fried egg and little else. It captures the feeling of sitting in a greasy spoon, being dumped via text while your food repeats on you. Depressing.



Crispy Duck and Hoisin

A fairly accurate rendition, although if you close your eyes they taste like the standard Roast Chicken flavour might if the "chicken" in them had been killed with a hammer made of compacted sugar. This is probably something Heston actually does in his restaurant.



Fish and Chips

Sounds like a good idea, but think about it: FISH CRISPS. Consequently they smell vaguely infected. Actually eat one and it's like kissing someone who's just eaten a plateful of scampi. Halfway through they belch in your mouth.



Onion Bhaji

The most convincing flavour, but they taste watered-down; as though Heston boiled one tiny bhaji in a swimming pool full of Evian, and then dipped some potatoes in it. It's like a lame TV movie about onion bhajis, starring Adam Woodyatt, with a soundtrack consisting entirely of library music, broadcast directly on to your tastebuds.

Cajun Squirrel

Self-consciously "wacky" and attention-grabbing entry. Walkers are keen to point out that "no squirrels were harmed in the making of this crisp", which is a pity because I had chucklesome visions of thousands of live, screaming squirrels being bulldozered into an immense bubbling cauldron in front of a party of horrified schoolchildren. The flavour itself is truly vile: if they'd called it Squirrel's Blood, everyone would've believed them. They taste precisely like a tiny cat piping hot farts through a pot-pourri pouch into your mouth.

Chilli and Chocolate

Excreted Battery Acid, more like. A boring lunatic with halitosis explains the smell of charred wood to your tastebuds. It's vaguely like the smell you get when you bleed a radiator, but sharper, more disgusting, and worryingly "human". They should've called it "Dirty Protest" instead.

So there you have it. They're uniformly horrible. Worst of all, none are a patch on, say, standard Salt and Vinegar, which has been around since the Cro-Magnon era. Obviously, they should've chosen more ambitiously. Since the squirrel flavour doesn't actually contain any squirrel, they could unleash other tastes you're vaguely curious about, but would never actually eat, like Cyanide and Lemon, or The Late Marilyn Monroe. If they'd bitten the bullet and genuinely released a flavour called Dirty Protest, people would queue round the block to try it, provided the packet carried a prominent guarantee that it was merely a simulation, not the genuine article. (For the record, according to The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices by Brenda Love [ISBN 0 349 10676 2], "faeces supposedly has a charred or sour flavour but otherwise tastes similar to whatever was consumed". So now you know.)

Or maybe they could've worked on flavours that evoked a time and mood instead of mimicking an existing substance. Who could resist Wartime Romance (cigarettes, lipstick, and railway station)? Or Studio 54 (cocaine, sweat, and Bianca Jagger)? Even Medieval Times (mud, gibbet and wet tunic) would be worth trying.

But no. They didn't dare to dream. So in summary: don't vote for any of them. Spoil your ballot paper instead. Because that's what they've done to these innocent potatoes.
Click to expand...
 
YUCKYUCKYUCK! I had some Cajun Squirrel crisps and they were m.i.n.g.i.n.g!

The best I have tasted so far is the crispy duck one, I tasted this flavour today but are yet to try fish n chips.

I can't believe I'm doing this, I HATE CRISPS! except pringles...
 
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