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[Complete!] 5 days in the Netherlands - Day 5: Rob vs. Toverland

Rob Coasters

Rob Poster
I've just come home from five pretty cool days in the Netherlands. As the "day 0" was literally just landing in Eindhoven, having dinner and going to bed, there really isn't much to say about this day so I'm instead going to use this initial post as a "landing zone" with quick links to each day as I suspect that the write-ups for may get pretty long, which could make it tricky to find a specific day you're looking for.

Day 1 - Efteling 1
Day 2 - Efteling 2
Day 3 - Walibi Holland
Day 4 - Drievliet & Duinrell
Day 5 - Toverland

Paying for buses & trams in the Netherlands
It is extremely easy to use buses and trams in the Netherlands. In fact it's even easier to use transport here than it is in the UK. Most of the time in the UK you need to tell the bus driver where you want to go and buy a ticket, but here in the Netherlands you need to do absolutely none of that. You can simply tap your card in and out on the contactless readers by each set of doors, and every bus has a screen that lets you know what the upcoming stops are so you can prepare in good time for when your stop is. I was able to check in and out with my Visa debit card with absolutely zero issues, it is an incredibly convenient and easy-to-use system.
Do NOT forget to check out when you leave! If you do forget to check out though, rectify this by downloading the "OVpay" app onto your phone and reading the FAQs regarding that.

tl;dr tap your card in and out of buses and trams, asking for a ticket is not necessary.

Paying for trains in the Netherlands
For me, I downloaded the "NS" app onto my phone (short for Nederlandse Spoorwegen) where you can find a route to any destination via public transport. From here you can buy a ticket which is a QR code that you can scan to get through the ticket barriers easily.
While NS can provide you with a route to get somewhere that involves buses and trams, the app will only provide you with the necessary train tickets as you use your card for buses and trams instead.
Also - your NS train ticket can only be scanned from within the app as the ticket is animated. A screenshot is not acceptable. NS makes it well-known that you need to ensure that your phone has enough battery to show the ticket. If you are not confident that you'll have enough battery on your phone to either show your ticket on demand, or use it to exit the barriers, there are plenty of ticket machines at the entrances to each station. I never used a ticket machine as my phone always had enough charge, but I imagine it will be incredibly easy.

tl;dr download the NS app onto your phone for train tickets, and show your tickets from within the app. Use a ticket machine instead if you do not have faith in your phone retaining enough charge to show the ticket.

Tomorrow - rain
 
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Day 1 - Efteling 1

So cutting to the chase I'm not happy with how my Belgium report came out in the slightest. I went into those parks with too much of a "how does this ride compare to the other stuff I've done?" instead of a "let's enjoy and have fun on the theme park attraction!" mindset. I read my Kondaa review and just sigh in despair every time I make a comparison, or any other ride on that trip that I ranked immediately after riding - most rides on that trip I wasn't even past the ride's exit before opening up the spreadsheet and declaring that my initial thoughts were final.

In this trip, everything changed. I went into the rides with a "let's enjoy and have fun on the theme park attraction!" instead of a "how does this ride compare to the other stuff I've done?" mindset, and didn't even look at the spreadsheet for the whole trip. And needless to say, this has been far better.

Anyway whatever. I took a train down from Eindhoven Centraal to 's-Hertogenbosch (Den Bosch) before catching a 400 bus "via Efteling" to the park, and there's the house of the five senses. Pretty neat.
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Hello Pardoes.
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And after rope-dropping the bathroom, my first actual attraction of the trip is #273 Baron 1898, the park's dive coaster and my (finally) 10th coaster from Bolliger & Mabillard. I've heard this is one of the weaker B&Ms, and while it certainly is, I honestly still kinda loved it.
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The preshow is cool, the inversions are fun & floaty, the helix is decent and you get a good few surprising pops of air out of your seat especially on the drop and during one of the inversions. While the theming quality drops significantly past the drop, I forgive it for the layout being pretty fun for what it is. I like it.
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Something I didn't like as much was #274 Vliegende Hollander. New manufacturer cred for me in KumbaK who are universally hated among coaster enthusiasts alike as they break everything they touch but Hollander is often regarded as the best thing they've ever done (though they did have to call in the engineers at Intamin because they didn't know how to make a lift hill, so go figure).
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I've heard this dark ride section is world class, let's find out.
So we're in darkness. I can't see anything. We continue to not be able to see anything. Then in the dark there's some smoke in the complete darkness. That's a cool drop in the dark, and a neat Medusa thing on the second lift. Oh, the dark ride bit's over and we're outside now. Coaster section's... fine, splash, aww it's over.
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A bit of an anticlimatic ending to a bit of an anticlimatic ride. I'm mildly disappointed by the dark ride section being a little less than I thought it could've been, it ended very quickly, and waddling around in pitch black does nothing for me and parks seem to be overly joyous with doing exactly that all the time. I get why people like it, I guess, but it didn't click with me. A shame when this happens, I hope I get to ride this again and see if anything changes.
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Next, #275 Joris en de Draak (Vuur) and #276 Joris en de Draak (Water). As days continue I start to get overly questioning of myself on whether or not it's a silly idea to count separate-tracked duelling coasters as a plus-two to the count. On one hand, they're separate tracks and can operate individually of each other. On the other hand, they're advertised by the park as one attraction and the ride has one entrance. So there's plenty of arguments on both sides, and over time this thought replays in my head more often than ever.
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Anyway whatever. Joris is a FANTASTIC ride. It's full of incredibly varied forces, an even mix of positives, laterals, and airtime with that classic Great Coasters shaping that doesn't really exist on Wicker Man or Heidi. A remarkable load of enjoyment that put a huge smile on my face. Easily one of my new favourite wooden coasters (not difficult), and made me even more excited for my upcoming visit to Toverland later in the week for Troy which was essentially a super-scaled version of this. It'll be just as good, right? Right????
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After getting carried away with more than a few rides on either side it was time for #277 Python. Somehow, SOMEHOW, I got front row despite queuing for single rider. After the world's slowest lift hill for some reason the loops are surprisingly forceful and then the corkscrews turn you over before ending on a helix.
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It's alright, but I feel like the park's just hanging onto this ride now. I get sentimental value and all that, and I appreciate that it's glossy smooth, but it obviously doesn't fit in with the rest of the park.
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I saw the world's smallest pirate ship before moving on and seeing some ducks.
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#278 Vogel Rok is yet another indoor roller coaster where nothing happens inside. Yeah, there's some bird statues that whizz past too quickly for you to take a proper look, but that's it. Yeah the ride pulls some decent positives and the layout's fine, ended a little soon for me, but I am so unbelievably over that happening in pitch black darkness. It's just "feel positives for two minutes simulator" and I'm bored to death of it. Is it really that difficult to just theme the inside of your building?????
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Eh.

Dark ride time now. Carnaval Festival is generally frowned upon by most enthusiasts I meet due to its questionable depictions of the people of the world, but in all truth I quite liked this thing. It's better Small World with a more likeable tune, and while I did think "damn, they really went there" with some scenes, it was a fun time.
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So far two of the three madhouses I've done have let me down. Haunted House Monster party was pretty eh, Haunting just sucked, Palais du Genie was pretty good though. I wonder if Villa Volta will tie the record and become the second madhouse for me to enjoy?
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And after that absolute drag of a preshow, I'm in.
Oh. It's one of the bad ones. I guess that's that then.

Up next was Droomvlucht, arguably by far my most anticipated ride of the whole trip. And boy did it deliver. One of the shorter dark rides of the trip at "just" five-ish minutes and five scenes to it, it was a beautifully made ride with gorgeous scenes where the music fit perfectly with each one, and every scene was full to the brim of new things to look at every time. I knew I was going to love it from the very beginning before even the first scene where you ascended the lift in darkness with this ultra-low pitch trumpet playing, to kinda build tension or something. The reveals of every scene are expertly done, and everything has such tiny details that simply ooze happiness and pleasure in this magical fairy world.

You're then sent into darkness as you see these wonderful floating castles in space orbiting around each other as shooting stars soar through the galaxies, then a pleasant finale you suddenly speed up as you spin down a huge helix that gives all views of a massive scene in the center with things to see and do all the way from the top to the bottom, and then it's over as you return to the station which is oddly reminiscent of a public transport stop. The extreme juxtaposition of the train stop-type station and the whimsical fairy world was... quite something, and I came off.

Despite all my praise, I don't think it's my favourite dark ride, but it's absolutely up there with the top.
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Next, I found Diorama, which was a cool and highly impressive model village thing. Awesome, big fan of these things.
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Then I found Symbolica which I went into knowing nothing beyond "there's a whale". Before I became cultured on Efteling's lore and storytelling, when I saw Pardoes in the (very amusing) preshow I thought this is the ride where he came from and his popularity kinda sprung from there. He opens the stairs much to the old guy's dismay, and we go into a secret underground passageway. Being a single rider I got the back row of the trackless vehicles so I didn't get to do the whole interaction thing that the people in front were doing, so I was kinda watching what was going on instead.

In all honesty I didn't really get Symbolica. I think the whole premise is that Pardoes gave you some magical powers, "Illumina Fantasi" and all that, then you bring some things to life or something, I don't know. It's all extremely technically impressive with detail to the edges of the walls, but nothing was really leaving a lasting impression on me. I saw the whale, it came to life, then tried to break out, oh it's done now and off to the next scene. There's so much to Symbolica, and I kept wishing that I was the one in control of the vehicle where you were telling it what to do and where to go. There's a room with planets, one with butterflies, one with instruments, one with Pardoes, one with wine bottles, a storm, some instruments that end up breaking, a mirror, a dance scene... it's a lot to take in.

I got off not entirely convinced by it all. It's difficult; it is one of the most impressive pieces of dark ride technology I've seen, but I just wasn't understanding what we were doing or why. I'll come back to it.
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Now it was time for the fairytale forest, and I think I'll let the photos do the talking here. It's all so impressive, with every single set moving, and even some short shows. I saw the one with the Indian water lillies, and one about a girl who dies in order to meet her dead grandmother (I think) which was nice.
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By now it had started raining hard, and it was coming up on closing time, but I was at the exact opposite end of the park that I needed to be to get some final rides in. I almost-ran over to Joris where I snuck two rides in. The first of the two were absolutely fantastic with the ride flying through the layout and the forces I felt before were essentially amplified quite significantly. It was an amazing ride.
Then I ran over for a second, and it started raining even harder, but unfortunately this was a mistake on my end as while it was obviously running just as good, the harder rain dampened my enjoyment a little as I had to put focus into holding my hood over my face as the feeling on my face was getting quite unpleasant. I knew I should have left it at that one ride, but whatever, it's an incredible ride either way.

Due to the rain I decided against staying for the Aquanura fountain show, so that closed out my first day at Efteling. It is an absolutely wonderful park, instantly a classic, the food is consistently fantastic, and just good times all around. There's bound to be a couple rides that don't hit, but not everything can be a winner. I'll be back for day two shortly.

Tomorrow - rain
 
I really must visit this park. Dream Flight and Half Moon look fantastic. Would love to ride Joris and the Dragon as well, and the vintage cars also look like one of the best.
 
Day 2: Efteling 2

Instead of going to Den Bosch I instead tried a different route to Tilburg instead, and I have to say this is the much better route to take as it's far quicker than the other way. I met the house of the five senses again with good yet slightly confusing friend Pardoes and headed in for Baron 1898. During the queue I was concerned that I'd missed filming for a stunt TV show called Te Land Ter Zee en in de Lucht yesterday, and I knew that they were filming today as well so looked everywhere for showtimes.
"Do you know when that thing <points> is showing?"
"Don't know sorry" ok
Resorted to Twitter where I got an answer, as it's a TV show they'll be filming for 5 hours. Duh. In the clear then, I'll come back at some point.

Baron, the ride then. Got back row this time, and the ride was just as I'd remembered it yesterday - a great drop into a fun floaty layout. A decent enough coaster for what it is. Left with a happy face. That's one B&M down and one to go. Surely the next one will be just as good if not even better, right? Right????
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Then I went to Hollander and it was closed. Ok.
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I guess I'm riding Joris en de Draak instead. As the single rider queue was closed I took the main queue, and saw a fellow single rider in the queue for the next train. I let an op know that I was on my own by pointing 1 finger up then pointing at the single rider.
"You want row 1? Ok."
Turns out it wasn't a single rider, as the mate they were with emerged from fitting perfectly behind the supposed single rider. I guess I've won front row though, so I can see what that's like.
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And yeah, it's great. Still one of my favourite wooden coasters, and honestly one of my favourite roller coasters straight-up. It's a fantastic ride with an awesome variety in forces, while it does sadly peter out a bit at the end with a random useless straight section at the end everything before is great.
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Hollander reopened without a single rider queue and a 35 minute standby. While a reride is what I desperately needed... no.

Time for the powered coasters then, #279 Max + Moritz (Moritz) + #280 Max + Moritz (Max). I thought this was going to be useless garbage filler, but was quite a fun little laugh. It's tiny, yes, and replaced an iconic ride that many feel M&M doesn't live up to in the slightest, but I thought it was alright. After this duo and Vogel Rok I still have one more coaster on this trip with onboard audio to try out. Let's see how that works out, right? Right????
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Finally I got to see some of the filming for Te Land Ter Zee en in de Lucht. Basically it's a show where there's a bunch of dudes who have to build a boat that has to survive splashing down a ramp and float long enough for the driver to bail from it and ring a bell to win. It's a very funny and amusing concept with the crowd going wild for each one. Plus the literal crane they have to fish out the obliterated boat debris out of the water to prepare for the next decimation is funny too. I wish I could've stayed for longer, but I saw five-ish, and I had a LOT OF THINGS still to do with this park. I took more video than photo.
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Things to do involved Fata Morgana. I don't think I react well to changes in water especially overseas, which had dampened my mood quite significantly as a result. After an email with my hotel to recommend a pharmacy that sold a medication to remedy this issue which was successful, I wouldn't be getting it tomorrow so I'd have to be dealing with this for at least the rest of the night, but I powered through it nonetheless. I'm at Efteling, I should ignore all these issues and just take the park in a little more.
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Anyway, the ride, unfortunately this one didn't really stick the landing for me. While this has immersive and remarkably impressive scenes that feel incredibly alive and the effort to pull you into its Arabian world are very well done, at the end of the day it was just "sit in a boat while some things happen around you". I was told I would love this ride, but the ride just kind of happened for me. It pains me to say I didn't think this ride was all that, and I think I'm in good need of a reride, but it's something I'll have to come back to another visit.

I went back in for a couple more laps of Droomvlucht... I think I said everything in part 1. Except increase all the positives by tenfold, as this ride was growing on me in ways I wasn't imagining. Its whimsical joy was something I was loving every second of, and it was beginning to fully live up to the hype that it had.
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But, pause, I have some Raveleijning to do now. It's a show with a super impressive backdrop about how this bird tamer princess gets kidnapped by some evil ninjas, and a group of five uniquely-coloured warriors with horses try to stop them. The princess is turned into smoke by the evil ninja overlord, and our five rainbow ragers gain magical powers in hopes of gaining an advantage over them. Suddenly the evil ninja overlord pushes the centerpiece back as he reveals a steampunk five-headed dragon that breathes fire in order to annihilate the spectrum soldiers. Our boys in red, blue, yellow, green etc. manage to use their special superpowers to destroy the evil ninjas, bring down & drown the evil ninja overlord and put the steampunk dragon back to bed while restoring normality to the city. The princess is resurrected from her dusty demise and she returns to wherever she came from, as the prismatic troopers victoriously circle around on their horses.

Honestly, it's just alright. I liked it, didn't love it. I felt that the backdrop felt almost too big and a lot of it was static, which meant that anything happening just felt.. small? I don't know.
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Droomvlucht then. I rode it again. I'm starting to run out of positive words to say about this ride (which is usually a common trend with me writing about my favourite rides).
And then I rode it a final time, where the full scale of this ride had finally come down on me. For the first ever time a dark ride had gotten me genuinely emotional. Droomvlucht had struck something inside of me that made me just go, "damn". There was something new to see every single time and I'm still convinced there's stuff I've missed. Lapping a dark ride a few times often gives me a feeling of repetition which can dampen the experience a little, but with this I felt none of that. While there isn't that many scenes, they all feel so incredibly complete and masterfully executed in ways I hadn't seen before.

And by the time that spiral bit had ended, I was feeling things. And I know "initial thoughts ain't final thoughts", but right there and then I knew Droomvlucht had triumphantly crawled its way into the coveted spot of my favourite ever dark ride. If I'm coming off a ride feeling genuine real emotion about how magical it was, then it deserves the top spot no matter what. A dark ride hadn't treated me this way before. And I need more of it. Now. Please.
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It feels weird after that experience to just say "oh and then I rode this afterwards". It's a weird transition that's impossible to word, but otherwise, Sirocco followed. It's an awesomely themed tea cups ride with a banging soundtrack to go with it (as is with every other ride in the park). Unfortunately it was very, very difficult to spin the car to any decently acceptable velocity. After almost losing my cap and both of my drinks, I had no option but to struggle as my arm lost its battle against the disc which was nearly impossible to move (I'm that weak, I'm built like a javelin according to one guy).
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When I started walking up to Sirocco it started raining, hard, and that fit the mood perfectly. It was still raining after my ride, so decided to end the day on a second go on Symbolica where a worst-case scenario happened - my opinion of "it's impressive but I don't get it" was solidifed rather than changed. I got a few differences from my first ride, I remember a knight's head popping open but not much else. Bah. It's disappointing to say, I really wish I loved this ride more than I liked it, but unfortunately sometimes that's just how it be.
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There was the option to actually end the day with a much-needed Hollander reride, but it had a 35 minute queue, it was on the opposite end of the park from where I needed to be, I don't even like the ride that much and it was pouring with rain. I cut my losses in hopes of returning to the park and giving it a reride then where hopefully opinions change.

So Efteling. Yeah it's one of my favourite parks of all time. I spent two days here and there is still so much I missed out on. Aquanura, the steam train, the steam carousel, Halve Maen, Fabula, the antique cars, a lot of the fairy forest (I explored a lot but not every corner), attempt 2 on Fata Morgana and Hollander, and countless other silly things including Pagode & Pirana which were closed for maintenance. I can't wait to come back.
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Tomorrow - rain
 
What days were this? I was at Efteling on Tuesday and Wednesday last week, we might've been there on the same day.
Agree with lots of your opinions, including Dreamflight and Fata Morgana - except the other way around, I loved Fata Morgana but wasn't too keen on Dreamflight!

Love your reviews, feel free to keep em coming
 
What days were this? I was at Efteling on Tuesday and Wednesday last week, we might've been there on the same day.
27th and 28th May, so we were there at the same time on Tuesday!

Agree with lots of your opinions, including Dreamflight and Fata Morgana - except the other way around, I loved Fata Morgana but wasn't too keen on Dreamflight!

Love your reviews, feel free to keep em coming
Thank you, hopefully I get back to Fata Morgana soon and am able to enjoy it a little more.
 
Day 3: Walibi Holland

This was the least time sensitive day of the trip as I've been here before - it was a pure "going back to a park because I want to" day. Also, any other park was at least three hours away. However, circumstances pushed the first ten letters of this paragraph to their limits as the 80 million steps taken during my two days at Efteling were taking their toll on me as I slept right through both alarms and woke up at a time where I'd be arriving over two hours after opening in a best case scenario.

I don't think I react well to changes in water especially overseas, which had dampened my mood quite significantly as a result. After an email with my hotel to recommend a pharmacy that sold a medication to remedy this issue which was successful, I wouldn't be getting it until tomorrow
At the very least this meant that the pharmacy was now open, and if I was rope-dropping the park like I did Efteling then I would've missed the pharmacy and the all-important medication to make the days a little more ride-intensive. I got my medication, ditched the water (which I believed to be the root cause of the issues) and survived off Capri Suns, Pepsis and whatever else I recognised from home for the rest of the trip. Spoiler it worked.
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I ended up arriving at the park for 1:30pm so had almost three hours to pack in as much as possible. And when I arrived it started p***ing it down just like the end of both days at Efteling, and I needed to do the dark ride, so naturally I headed for Goliath.
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To say I got drenched on this thing would be an understatement. Had my hood held over my head with both hands the whole way through as I got demolished by water, and my main takeaway from it was that I really enjoyed the middle section - much more than last time.
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By this point it stopped raining, luckily right when I passed Untamed, my former favourite roller coaster of all time. And honestly I wasn't a huge fan of it this time around. It was (obviously) running slower and the strong ejector hills were a little too strong for my liking. The double inversion at the start is still comfortably my favourite inversion of all time (even beating out that THING on Ride to Happiness) but I caught myself almost not enjoying the death ejector finale at the end. This was disappointing for me, but I knew it was going to improve later in the day. I'll come back.
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BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE TOP SPINS!!!! This one was really good! You flip loads of times! The ending actually inverts you! It doesn't waste any time doing nothing! Surely no other Top Spin on this trip wastes all of its time doing nothing, right? Right????

(Apologies for the inaction photo as I took video instead)
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And then the final one of the big 3 was Lost Gravity. Words cannot explain how awesome the first half is, you have a fantastic first drop and that sense of speed through the low hill is so much fun and without a doubt the best part of the ride. The turnaround is cool and then the ride just kind of slows down for the rest of it for a more hang-y second half. I don't vibe with the second half as much as I do with the first, but it's still an excellent ride.
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So far three of the four madhouses (madhice?) I've done have let me down. Haunted House Monster party was pretty eh, Haunting just sucked, Palais du Genie was pretty good though, Villa Volta nothing happened then it ended. Will Merlin's Magic Castle fight back and make an attempt to even out the record? Surprisingly, kind of, yes. I enjoyed this one, nothing else to report, but I enjoyed this one. Definitely my second favourite madhouse, Palais still reigns supreme.
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Then it stopped raining, so rode Lost Gravity one more time then wandered around the park. Just me and a singular thought in my head, "damn I really travelled 13 hours for this park one day". I was crazy back then. Am I going to do it again? Honestly, probably not.
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Tomahawk is the third frisbee to walk past without doing. One day I'll get on one of these, but once again, not today.
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Spinning Vibe would've deeply disappointed me after the chaos of Circus Circus back in 2018, clearly wasn't running at its full potential.
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The new Playground area looked nice. I saw Splash Battle and got flashbacks from the wettest I ever got on a theme park attraction. I saw Speed of Sound and got flashbacks from one of the worst roller coaster experiences I've ever had.
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It started raining, again, so went to ride Goliath. It stopped raining as I got in the queue. Then I boarded. Then I was going up the lift. Then it started raining, hard. Make up your mind!!!!!!

Overall I enjoyed Goliath much more than I ever did on my first visit. The drop hits, the hill hits, the Stengel dive FINALLY hits, and the middle section isn't so much a dead spot as it is an awesome sense of speed, wind/rain in your face low to the ground over a river where nothing else matters you're just spinning around having loads of fun before three killer ejector hills to finish you off. And that's what Goliath is, it's just fun. While yes, the middle section is a break from the action, that sense of speed directly over water puts a huge smile on my face like I've mentioned about six times already now.
But what I haven't mentioned yet is that I now prefer this ride to Lost Gravity!

Then the rain stopped. So then Untamed opened. And then I rode Untamed.
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So on my first Untamed ride today I found the ejector to be a little too much, then randomly on this second ride (after it had sped up by just a little) I was absolutely fine with them and loved those moments of attempts on my life just as much as everything else on this silly little ride. What?
Life's weird sometimes.
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I got in the queue for another Untamed lap, but quickly realised I wouldn't have time for it before the shuttle bus back to the station.
A rule of thumb for me is to NEVER get the last bus leaving a park (unless it's Alton Towers and only one bus ever runs), and to always get the second-to-last one at the latest. It's mainly paranoia, but if I somehow don't get on that last shuttle bus, I'm f***ed with no way home other than my entire bank account's worth of a Bolt. I was more than happy to sacrifice a ride if it meant getting home with my racing mind at rest.

On the way out from the park the park gave us 2-for-1 return tickets for this year due to the rain, so that was nice.

For three hours I reckon I got a good amount done - 8 rides in is decent enough for me.
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Tomorrow - rain
 
Day 4: Den Haag

From the least time-sensitive day to the most, I was doing two parks in one day today and was anticipated for the whole week as "the big one" as it involved trains, buses, trams and Bolts. Capri suns in hand, ready to go straight into the first issue of the day where I had to change at Den Haag HS instead of Den Haag Centraal due to a defective track switch, and then immediately the second issue of the day where the mobile data of my brand new phone just BROKE, which sent me into immediate panic mode as this was the most inconvenient day possible for this to happen.
A call was made. "Have you tried turning the phone off and on again [restarting]?"
"No."
"Did it work?"
"Yes."
Oh okay. Guess that's fixed then.

Well at Den Haag Centraal I wanted to get to Drievliet as quickly as I possibly could. Had no time to faff around waiting for a tram to see if I could get a Bolt. I should probably bite the bullet and get used to doing the following in preparation for future trips that may require this, but I really didn't want to just walk up to a cab and ask if they were prebooked or whatever. Don't even get me started on the idea of fare negotiations...

Bolt man came after much hesitation, I got in and he immediately forgot where he was supposed to go. The app glitched out heavily and wouldn't show the location of where I wanted to go. I showed him my screen, it wouldn't show on his. I told him where I wanted to go. He straight-up pulled up back into the taxi rank and told me to get out and find another cab. But I was determined to fix the issue. I proved to him that I was the guy he was looking for, and suddenly after showing him the fact that he messaged me suddenly made the destination appear on his phone and off we went. Passed through an industrial wasteland before pulling up to a barrier where I got out. Wished each other well, we forgave each other for the app's glitching and went our separate ways.
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Got into Drievliet, a less than fantastic first impression, and clocked fifty thousand schoolchildren in high-vis jackets. Oh no. I guess time to suck it up and ride #281 Twistrix. The wait wasn't horrible as the train has about twenty cars, but had me concerned about things to come. The ride wasn't good, but span much faster than most spinning coasters from the same manufacturer. What went so wrong?
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And I had good reason to be concerned about things to come. #282 Formule X's queue is, for some reason, about three meters wide which is really, really horrible for a queue line as it gives 20 schoolchildren the perfect opportunity to jump right in front of you right in front of another, teachers obviously not really caring. And then that went on for 40 minutes. And then the schoolchildren wouldn't shut up for one second. And then everyone screams at the top of their lungs on the exciting big roller coaster. And then there's only one six-person train.
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I was so zoned out by the time I got to the station that I didn't realise the ride host calling for a single rider which would've allowed me to skip three trains of people (18 people). Thankfully the next train also had an empty seat, so I got on that one somewhat hastily and unceremoniously.
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Yeah it's not very good. I know most people would be all "oh, exciting new ride type! Maurer x car!" but it just wasn't good. The restraint was weird at best and tracked awkwardly with a shuffle throughout the entire thing. The launch was weak and uneventful, but I will give one positive that it was pretty good for moments of airtime. The dive loop had airtime (?!) and I felt myself coming out of my seat on the other roll, but the rattle (and the sea of schoolkids) brought things down badly.
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#283 Dynamite Express, a powered coaster. Rinse and repeat, bunch of schoolchildren jump in front of me, I don't speak their language so can't/won't say anything. They're very loud, and actively tried pushing in front of me while I was stood at the airgates where I finally stood my ground giving them a stare that said "I am so sick of this ****". They backed up and let me ride.
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The ride. It's fun. In the runnings for the best coaster here.

#284 Kopermijn. A wild mouse. Thankfully the queue wasn't horrible, but this park has done awful things to me now. The ride host called me up to skip about ten people, tightly squeezing past them somewhat hastily and unceremoniously. The turns felt more uncomfortable than they ever have, I remember loving these to death. I guess it's the park. The drops were fine, then the mid-course brakes punches me in the stomach in a way that a wild mouse has never done. Then it crawls through the rest. Then it hits the final brakes.
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The brakes felt like stabs to the chest. Every single one of them. Proceed five feet. BANG to a halt. Proceed five feet. BANG to a halt. Repeat that about four more times, pull into the station, BANG to a halt. Get out. New #3 worst coaster of all time.
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Walk straight past all the other rides that I had on my to-do list in this park (including the high priority 'must-do' ones). Finally escaped out and f***ed off to the nearest tram stop where I waited ten minutes for a standing room-only tram back to Den Haag Centraal.

Never again, Drievliet. But hey we still have more, and I think this park can save my situation. Went to the Den Haag Centraal bus station where I got a 44 bus to Wassenaar Duinrell. Came up to the Duinrell bus stop, where everyone stood up to check out and get off. "Nope, we're not in the perfect position", old bus driver lady says, so moves a little further then aggressively stops which causes most people to fall over each other. Ok.

Checked out of the bus. It started raining. Hard. 🙃

Well I'm here now. To my unexpectedness #285 Kikkerachtbaan was open as coasters with a tyre-drive lift always close for rain, but to my unsurprise five million schoolchildren were also here with by far the loudest ones all being in the queue for this thing. At this point it's survival. Resorted to a phone call with a relative in order to save myself, but honestly I didn't mind the kids that much anymore because of how beautiful this park's setting is. Drievliet is a school trip nightmare in an industrial wasteland. Duinrell is a school trip nightmare in a gorgeous forested woodland resort. There's a substantial difference.
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The ride, it's a fun little frog coaster. Still a big fan of these types of rides. I guess I always will be.

#286 Dragon Fly is where it started to really piss it down. Fortunately most of the queue for this ride was covered. Unfortunately it amplified the voices of the school trips quite considerably. The coaster happened, it was nothing substantial, but it was fun regardless.
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The rain stopped for the final time on the whole trip, just in time to ride #287 Falcon. It's Rage but covered in trees. So a middle-tier thrill coaster.
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And ended Duinrell with Waterspin, a Top Spin, I wasn't very excited for it because it runs a laughably terrible cycle. I love these rides, but this one was seriously underwhelming to the point where I'd rather this park did not have this ride and sent it to a thrill park who cared instead. You could tell that even this stupid nothing burger of a cycle was freaking kids out to the point of insanity. I don't know why they have one of the most intense flat rides on the market at a children's theme park resort. Sell it to a park that'll run it to its full potential.
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And to kill off this day, the bobkart was closed. I walked out and went back to the hotel. Didn't even ride the nautic jet. But hey, their log flume has a cover, which is cool.
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I can assure you that the sub-par rides in comparison with tens of thousands of school trips is not over yet.

Tomorrow - pain
 
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I was there at about the same time, agree the school trips were horrendous. At drievilet the ghost train is quite poor and none of the flats really blew me away, so you're not missing much. Maybe it's because of my low expectations, but I rather liked Formule X.

Glad to see that you also think that the topspin was really weak, the only other one I've ridden is Talocan and I was wondering if that one was uniquely good.

Hope Toverland treated you better.
 
I was there at about the same time, agree the school trips were horrendous. At drievilet the ghost train is quite poor and none of the flats really blew me away, so you're not missing much. Maybe it's because of my low expectations, but I rather liked Formule X.
The one I really wanted to ride was Nautilus, the swinging afterburner thing. This type of ride has escaped me four times now which isn't very good as they do look fantastic.

Glad to see that you also think that the topspin was really weak, the only other one I've ridden is Talocan and I was wondering if that one was uniquely good.
My top spin rankings go: Talocan > Rameses Revenge > Top Spin (Hart) > Blast >>>>>> BuzzSaw > Waterspin. The first four are top-tier rides, but BuzzSaw and Waterspin severely lack the things that make top spins good.
Hope Toverland treated you better.
It didn't. Lol. Get excited.

Goodness, after those last two parks I’m curious to see what “pain” is 😅

Great reports @Rob Coasters 👍
Thank you! The next day was on a very similar level of suckiness, I was mainly looking for a negative word that rhymed with 'rain'. 'Disdain' didn't quite fit the bill.
 
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. These excellent reports are at least something to get out of it.
That's the one good thing these days bring!

Day 5: Toverland

If school trips were in on Thursday, and today's Friday, then that spells one thing: more school trips. We were done with the rain now, but not the faff. Never the faff.
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Checked out of the hotel, and Mr. Nice man who checked me in wanted a final update on my ventures before we went our separate ways. We had a very lengthy chat on Walibi Day where we discussed all our favourite rides and Movie Park Germany. He knew well about Efteling, Walibi and Duin but wasn't too sure on Driev, but with good reason now I guess. For Toverland he highly recommended Booster Bike, guess I need to look out for that one.

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Capri suns in hand, got the train to Horst-Sevenum (or is it Sevenum-Horst?), walked across the tracks, then waited for the bus to the land of tover. Got stuck behind a garbage truck, then arrived to the beautiful view of Troy which was going to be a top 10 smash hit. Plus an extremely concerning amount of children in high-vis. Ok we're doing this again. And to the severe woes of everyone who told me to rope-drop this park I got there half an hour after opening which ended up in me sucking up a fifteen minute queue for #288 Booster Bike, Mr. Nice man who checked me in's favourite ride in the park.

But hold on, important diversion. As this was the final park I needed a locker to put my suitcase in, so opened one up and... failed to get my suitcase in as it was too small. Going into panic mode, I went up to one of the entrance gate people who saw me. I said something to the man about the locker, he assumed I was wondering where they were so pointed to the locker room where I just was. He gave me a park map, I went you know what I'll try again. So I went back. I had another idea and shoved the suitcase in so hard on its side facing upwards... it barely fit with literal atoms of space to spare. Phew, crisis (telling someone the bag won't fit) averted. Entrance man knows best.

The locker told me I had until 1:27 as the locker was only temporary, so kept a mental note to come back in three hours' time to reset the timer. Hold that thought.


Back to Booster Bike.

Everyone told me this ride was insufferable garbage though. Who do I believe now? The coaster enthusiasts or Mr. Nice man who checked me in? Well, in classic fashion, it ended up being neither of them.
After the best launch of the whole trip it is an incredibly inoffensive ride. Like one of the most nothing roller coasters I've ever done. I don't have anything to say about it. It wasn't rough or anything, just... if the launch went into a 180 bank into the brakes I wouldn't rank this ride any differently. I'm sorry Mr. Nice man who checked me in, but this didn't hit in the slightest. I had zero desire to reride.
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After missing Aquanura at Efteling it only made sense to at least see this park's fountain show, Katara - Fountain of Magic, which started right as I walked past it. I had this very high up the to-do list, and I'm glad I saw it. I feel an odd connection to this silly six-and-a-half minute fountain show, but I thought it was a very nice thing to just chill and watch and I'd argue it's by far the best thing here.
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Maximus Blitz Bahn, the bobkart, was posting a 45 minute queue. :(. So went to #289 Dwervelwind, excited that this ride had onboard audio. I was actually somewhat excited for this ride, and knew how much the audio was going to elevate the experience, plus Mack spinner. I like Storm Chaser and Ride to Happiness, this was going to be no different. (It was different)
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Boarding the lift hill, I gain the quick realisation that out of the whole train I had the ONLY ROW where the audio was broken which killed my mood and excitement for this ride faster than you could ever imagine. The silence I felt on that ride was deafening, and destroyed what could have been an awesome spinning coaster, but without the audio, it felt like a shell of one. I had zero desire to reride.

Maybe #290 Fēnix will solve things. I had very real anticipation that this was going to be a great ride, hearing awesome things about its intensity (for its ride type), I was welcoming a new favourite wing coaster. It's presented so nicely and fits seamlessly into the area it's in, and has the weirdest queue of all time being in a huge dark black cave where nothing happens. Queue is moving at a snail's pace from the bottom of the Choose Thy Position staircase for the right wing, and as the station comes into view I quickly see why. The b*****d is on one train. Inching closer to the back row, the barely-moving line of swarming children became more insufferable by the second.
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40 minutes later, finally, I got on..
Fēnix
did not
solve things.
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An unsavoury rattle throughout the whole thing had me not enjoying the ride for a split second. Every moment of it was a bumpy shuffly bounce that oozed discomfort & unfunness. The helix was the worst bit, and while others may dunk on the ride for being short, I see it as mercy that it ended so quickly. I was really hoping to have a wing top Swarm, but then this one decides to not do that. I had zero desire to reride.
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Maybe #291 Troy will solve things. I had been building this up to be potentially the best coaster of the trip, and with Joris knocking it out of the park, there was a real challenge but I had myself convinced that this was going to live up to the hype. The queue was much shorter, only around ten-ish minutes because it pumped out two trains at an appreciable speed, I went for second-to-back. I put my small bag on the side, only to find two schoolchildren had stolen my row 11 seat. Looked at the kids in a slightly questioning and pissed off manner, then looked at the op, who sent me to the only empty seat left on the train which was smack-bang middle of the train row 6. Sure, I guess. We dispatch.
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Troy
did not
solve things.
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An unbelievable disappointment that fuelled a rising disdain for this park, a consistent rattle throughout the entire ride with not a single inch of smooth track. It has a cool layout that I wasn't able to acknowledge in the slightest because I was too busy shaking about not having any fun. There were a couple moments that were just straight-up ROUGH. It was a bad ride that could have been incredible. We hit the brakes, the kid next to me with his hand over his mouth nodding up and down like he was going to throw up. Thankfully he held it in, I left the station with a face no straighter than the one I had on when I boarded. I had no desire to reride. Troy is over.
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#292 Toos-Express. It's fine.
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And then the final ride of the day, Expedition Zork. I tried getting a drink from a vending machine. It asked for 4 euros in coins for a coke, I said ok. I said what I wanted, the vending machine said ok, I inserted the money, nothing happened. I guess I'm not having anything to drink then. And what followed was possibly one of the worst queues of the entire trip. Surrounded by preteens, indoors, with nothing to look at, with no drink to save me.
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Boarded eventually, it's a pretty decent flume. Obviously a lot more that I prefer, but I liked how it was both indoors and outdoors with the funny mid-lift turntable. The second drop was decently steep for a flume, which was fun, and I did get pretty wet, which for once I wasn't all that bothered by. Probably the best ride here but that queue was a hell zone I had no desire to step foot in ever again.

Had a short wander around before calling it, grabbing food/drink and returning to the airport. Yeah. That's how it ends.

But hold on. This park still has one final middle finger to give to me. I'd forgotten about the timed locker. I remembered it was until 1:27, then I looked at my phone that said 14:43. S**t. If I hadn't endured enough, there was one more thing going against me. I went to my locker, predicting a stupid overbooking fee or something.

Oh. It's valid until 1:27am. Everything was fine. Got the suitcase. Got the essentials. The end.


A bit of a sour two days to finish things off, but I got my credits and I have a couple new parks that I now know I don't have to go back to anytime soon so better stuff can be prioritised instead. I apologise for the final leg of this report being a little downbeat, but if this was my experience, that should be reflected in my words.
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Best park: Efteling
Best coaster: Untamed
Best new-to-me coaster: Joris en de Draak
Best flat ride: Blast
Best water ride: Even though I found it underwhelming, Vliegende Hollander
Best dark ride: Droomvlucht
Best park food: Efteling special dogs
Best show: Tie-up between Land-Zee-Lucht and Katara
Best moment of the whole trip: The Droomvlucht emotions lap, I finally get Goliath now
Worst moment of the whole trip: Drievliet, Fēnix & Zork queues
Trains: 14
Buses: 12
Planes: 2
Trams: 1
Cabs: 1

Thank you for reading.
 
Great report @Rob Coasters! I’m sorry to hear you had such a negative experience at Toverland in particular; I’ll admit to being surprised by that, as I’ve always heard such good things about it, but it sounds like the park was a huge disappointment to you.

Do you think that the school trips may have soured things (I know from experience that school trip season is absolute carnage at most parks), or do you think that the underwhelming nature of most of the rides would have done that anyway regardless of school trips?

I must admit, I’ve been loving your recent foreign trip reports; you’ve been doing so much lately! If you don’t mind me asking; where’s next on the agenda? I can see from your signature that you’re edging close to 300 now…
 
Great report @Rob Coasters! I’m sorry to hear you had such a negative experience at Toverland in particular; I’ll admit to being surprised by that, as I’ve always heard such good things about it, but it sounds like the park was a huge disappointment to you.

Do you think that the school trips may have soured things (I know from experience that school trip season is absolute carnage at most parks), or do you think that the underwhelming nature of most of the rides would have done that anyway regardless of school trips?
Combination of both, I think, of the rides just not being that good (whether they had a consistently unpleasant rattle throughout the whole thing or their audio was off) and the school trips. The way I think is if the school trips weren't there, I would have still not enjoyed many of the rides, but I would've been a lot more open in trying what else the park had to offer (I distinctly remember Merlin's Quest being on my list) which ultimately ended up being dropped. But the trips turned my visit into a "must-rides only" one.

Everyone is surprised when I say I had a bad time. I remember someone in quite the disbelief when I said I left at 2.30pm. However, a few others agree with me that Troy and Fēnix weren't as good as we hoped.

I must admit, I’ve been loving your recent foreign trip reports; you’ve been doing so much lately! If you don’t mind me asking; where’s next on the agenda? I can see from your signature that you’re edging close to 300 now…
Thank you! A return to Sweden is very high up the priority list, if I can get that to work on my next 3-day weekend I'll hit 300 then, but if not, I'll push that back a month and maybe hit 300 somewhere else. Currently the main contenders are 'something at Kölmarden' and 'something at Tivoli/Bakken' but who knows what will happen...!
 
I did a week in the Netherlands about 5 years ago and made the same mistake going during school trips season in June. The school groups there were unbearable for us as well! Toverland was one park that I did love though, so a shame to hear it wasn't so enjoyable for you. Sounds like they need some upkeep work on Troy!
 
You would think that Toverland would be a pretty simple visit, but I too had a tough time there. No school trips, however it was a school holiday so every young teenager in the region was at the park, so there was way too much queuing for me. Had similar thoughts to Fenix. Well, at least I thought it was good, but it was definitely a little bumpy. I made the same mistake of only trying the back row, but I guess you can't depend on B&Ms to be smooth anymore.

I think you should've gave Troy another chance, ESPECIALLY if it had that short of a queue (mine was an hour). I had heard that it had gotten rough so I only focused on the front row, and it gave the ride you were probably hoping for. I could see back row being a bit much. Although I thought they were doing track work earlier this year?

Hopefully you'll have a redemption visit in the future (same for me, still missing Booster Spite). I still couldn't help but love the park as the theming and overall park design are still top tier.
 
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