I can see this becoming one of those Return Of The Jedi moments.... but I'm voting for Thorpe Park. There, I said it. (Now watch Furie go and pull an Ewok out of his ass!)
Yes, Thorpe Park.
Actually, I reckon Thorpe is more of A New Hope to Alton's Empire. It's still bloody good, despite the fact that it's just kind of fallen together almost by accident.
I can't vote for Thorpe though LOL My problem with it is exactly the same reason you like it Howie. It's so compact that after two hours (on a quiet day), you've done everything, realised nothing is actually that reridable and sit around bored. Thorpe isn't unpleasant to hand around, but it isn't as nice a place to chill out as Alton is.
The when it's packed, it falls apart AND you've got rides that are all okay, but never worth the huge queues.
Having said that, the Live there last year was just right. With the fast passes, we managed lots of rides mixing queuing and skipping, not so many that the rides lose their appeal and not enough waiting to make you wish that you'd just sat and had a coffee instead of another dreadful ride on Colossus.
It also has the best selection of flats of all the Merlin parks, run on the worst, lamest cycles of any of those versions in the world. Thorpe always leaves me feeling like I've almost enjoyed myself, but the enjoyment was snatched from me the moment I had it in my grasp.
I like Legoland (Windsor), but the place is an utter chore when it's busy. It's horrible. Full of brats and brats hating the huge queues and the fact they've only been on two rides in 7 hours. Awful place.
Then you go when the schools are in and it's fab. Well, kind of. Obviously it's kiddy central, but it's really excellent. However, it's become a bit grotty and bland over the years. The lego models looked a bit old and dirty the last time I was there and there was a bit too much cardboard rather than plastic.
Chessington is similar. It's a park that has been badly Merlinised over the years, with what was once a wonderfully presented park becoming much less themed and much more "PAY US!!!!!!" It used to feel immersive and special, now it feels cheap.
Which brings us on to Alton... Suffering the same as both Chessington and Thorpe - Chessington for the cheapness of the place and how it's lost what made it special and Thorpe for the fact that in reality, there's not a great deal to do and you're bored.
The difference is that Alton is still gorgeous. It's still a lovely place just to hang about. I've done a speed run on a quiet day there and it's difficult to justify rerides on things. You do have the advantage of a 10 minute walk between areas to break things up, but when you've done the entire park in three hours with multiple rerides per area, it shows that there's not much there. It's a park that works best when you need to queue a bit. However, it's a park I could spend all day at not riding anything, just for a day out. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it isn't. I like just spending time at Alton NOT riding. If I go "just to ride" then I find it a bit lacking (with a couple of notable exceptions), but to have a picnic or explore The Towers or stand by Nemesis for an hour? It's great
Literally couldn't have said it better myself