Nic
Strata Poster
Yesterday, Ian, Jake, Ben and myself went on a random credit whoring mission to France. We were 5 mins late checking in for the ferry (sorry, I was desperate for a piss by the time we got to the services at Maidstone) but they still just let us on! Hurrah! There was a "south westerly gale" apparently. It was a bit wobbly, but I've been on worse. Unfortunately the outside bar wasn't open on the ferry (we were on the very new Spirit of Britain, and managed to nab one of the chez longues in the cafe/bar. Yay!)
I decided that I'm too tight to pay tolls, so we set up the sat nav to take us through the back roads. Trouble is, sat nav was unaware that one of the roads was closed sue to the opening of a "nouvelle église". French diversions are crap. I was reminded of our failed excursion to the Beaverhoff on the way to Germany. Anyway.
We arrived at Bal Parc. It's totally as sexy as I imagined from watching the video on their website.
As we were walking down the path to the entrance, we were greeted by a clown who had obviously been taking hairdressing trip from "There's Something About Mary". We paid out €10 each (Yes, €10! and you thought Crealy was bad?!!!) to the typically french old man at the gate, and entered the park. The first thing you see is the play park
It's a shame that's by far the most modern and well-kept thing in the entire park. Worth noting that, beyond there was someone litter picking. They were also dressed as a clown. This place would literally be Tanya's worst nightmare (I wasn't overly impressed with it myself!) As you follow the path round you start to see what the rest of the park is actually like
There were more in the same vein, but I didn't get pictures. The biggest ride at the park is a pirate ship. Even the pirate on the (otherwise pretty standard) sign above it is done up as a clown
There's this cave thing. Inside is some kind of haunted walkthrough thing with tonnes of disco lights. I opted to walk round the outside.
Outside this is a really crap man made boating lake thing. Beyond that was a horse tied to a picnic bench
...which was opposite the CRED!
It didn't make it up the tire lift on the first attempt. As it rolled back into the station, and the restraints popped open, I went to climb out, and got told a resounding "NON!" They then proceeded to give it a push, and off we went! The 2nd lap was entirely unnecessary though.
Next to the cred was some really really seriously ghetto dodgems. The boys went to get into the ones on the far side and were told "Non! Kaput!!!" Yeah, that applied to three quarters of the cars. We eventually found some that apparently worked and off we went. Halfway through, mine conked out. Ben bashed into me, and it started up again. So yeah, after that we left.
We got back in the car and headed off down to the day's main attraction, Dennlys Parc. I had high hopes for this place, and fortunately it didn't disappoint. I found it to be really well maintained and actually pretty lovely. Despite being about the tiniest park I've ever been to, it's got 2 reasonable coasters. First up was Nitro, the Moebius coaster (supposedly similar to Master Thai at Mirabilandia). It looks pretty awesome.
Its such a shame, then, that its absolutely VILE to ride. The corners are mostly pretty forceful (too much so, if you ask me) and there's one horrific bump in the track that jolted me so much I heard my neck click. It looks (and feels) like it was the last piece they bolted in, and it didn't fit properly, so they had to get a hammer out.
BTW, it kept PISSING it down, so sorry, but I've barely got any photos of anything else at the park. It's a shame because, as I say, it was generally fairly well kept, and I bet it'd look lovely on a sunny day.
The other cred is a reasonable size family coaster that goes through some trees and over a pond. Front seat ride is awfully slow (although there's some fairly hefty laterals on the first corner), but its much more fun in the back. Overall, a fun family coaster.
Over the other side of the park, there's some play equipment, and this beautifully themed water play area
There's some cool swingy see-saw type things. They're the sort of thing that I'm sure we used to have in the UK when I was a kid, but 'elf 'n' safety would never allow these days. There's also a people powered wave swinger. I ended up pushing it. It was harder than it looks, though I guess it'd be a bit easier if it didn't have 3 adults sat on it. Ben, Jake and I went on the bumper boats (first time I've been on any of these for literally about 20 years!) It'd have been fun, but we got soaked - not from the splashing, but from the rain! The heavens absolutely opened just as we got on them (and stopped just as we got off!). The gays went on the travelling rapids ride, whilst Ian and I sheltered from another rain shower under a parasol. Then the 3 boys went in the ghost house whilst I had a look at some playmobil models and threw some socks at some old men (I didn't go in, I was too afraid. In fact, you could say I was petrified).
Just before we left, Ben and Jake found a wonky roundabout
So yeah, that was Dennlys. Like I say, tiny but fab. We sat and ate our sandwiches in the car (like proper Brits), then headed to a wine warehouse in Calais (like proper Brits) before heading home. We just managed to squeeze onto the earlier ferry than we had booked which would've got us home at a great time, had we not hit traffic on the M25. Ah well, I can't complain, I was still home in time for Top Gear.
All in all a great day. I'd definitely recommend a trip to Dennlys if you're passing, but avoid Bal Parc unless you're among the most hardened of cred whores (or you particularly want to go somewhere where you'll probably contract a hideous disease)
I decided that I'm too tight to pay tolls, so we set up the sat nav to take us through the back roads. Trouble is, sat nav was unaware that one of the roads was closed sue to the opening of a "nouvelle église". French diversions are crap. I was reminded of our failed excursion to the Beaverhoff on the way to Germany. Anyway.
We arrived at Bal Parc. It's totally as sexy as I imagined from watching the video on their website.
As we were walking down the path to the entrance, we were greeted by a clown who had obviously been taking hairdressing trip from "There's Something About Mary". We paid out €10 each (Yes, €10! and you thought Crealy was bad?!!!) to the typically french old man at the gate, and entered the park. The first thing you see is the play park
It's a shame that's by far the most modern and well-kept thing in the entire park. Worth noting that, beyond there was someone litter picking. They were also dressed as a clown. This place would literally be Tanya's worst nightmare (I wasn't overly impressed with it myself!) As you follow the path round you start to see what the rest of the park is actually like
There were more in the same vein, but I didn't get pictures. The biggest ride at the park is a pirate ship. Even the pirate on the (otherwise pretty standard) sign above it is done up as a clown
There's this cave thing. Inside is some kind of haunted walkthrough thing with tonnes of disco lights. I opted to walk round the outside.
Outside this is a really crap man made boating lake thing. Beyond that was a horse tied to a picnic bench
...which was opposite the CRED!
It didn't make it up the tire lift on the first attempt. As it rolled back into the station, and the restraints popped open, I went to climb out, and got told a resounding "NON!" They then proceeded to give it a push, and off we went! The 2nd lap was entirely unnecessary though.
Next to the cred was some really really seriously ghetto dodgems. The boys went to get into the ones on the far side and were told "Non! Kaput!!!" Yeah, that applied to three quarters of the cars. We eventually found some that apparently worked and off we went. Halfway through, mine conked out. Ben bashed into me, and it started up again. So yeah, after that we left.
We got back in the car and headed off down to the day's main attraction, Dennlys Parc. I had high hopes for this place, and fortunately it didn't disappoint. I found it to be really well maintained and actually pretty lovely. Despite being about the tiniest park I've ever been to, it's got 2 reasonable coasters. First up was Nitro, the Moebius coaster (supposedly similar to Master Thai at Mirabilandia). It looks pretty awesome.
Its such a shame, then, that its absolutely VILE to ride. The corners are mostly pretty forceful (too much so, if you ask me) and there's one horrific bump in the track that jolted me so much I heard my neck click. It looks (and feels) like it was the last piece they bolted in, and it didn't fit properly, so they had to get a hammer out.
BTW, it kept PISSING it down, so sorry, but I've barely got any photos of anything else at the park. It's a shame because, as I say, it was generally fairly well kept, and I bet it'd look lovely on a sunny day.
The other cred is a reasonable size family coaster that goes through some trees and over a pond. Front seat ride is awfully slow (although there's some fairly hefty laterals on the first corner), but its much more fun in the back. Overall, a fun family coaster.
Over the other side of the park, there's some play equipment, and this beautifully themed water play area
There's some cool swingy see-saw type things. They're the sort of thing that I'm sure we used to have in the UK when I was a kid, but 'elf 'n' safety would never allow these days. There's also a people powered wave swinger. I ended up pushing it. It was harder than it looks, though I guess it'd be a bit easier if it didn't have 3 adults sat on it. Ben, Jake and I went on the bumper boats (first time I've been on any of these for literally about 20 years!) It'd have been fun, but we got soaked - not from the splashing, but from the rain! The heavens absolutely opened just as we got on them (and stopped just as we got off!). The gays went on the travelling rapids ride, whilst Ian and I sheltered from another rain shower under a parasol. Then the 3 boys went in the ghost house whilst I had a look at some playmobil models and threw some socks at some old men (I didn't go in, I was too afraid. In fact, you could say I was petrified).
Just before we left, Ben and Jake found a wonky roundabout
So yeah, that was Dennlys. Like I say, tiny but fab. We sat and ate our sandwiches in the car (like proper Brits), then headed to a wine warehouse in Calais (like proper Brits) before heading home. We just managed to squeeze onto the earlier ferry than we had booked which would've got us home at a great time, had we not hit traffic on the M25. Ah well, I can't complain, I was still home in time for Top Gear.
All in all a great day. I'd definitely recommend a trip to Dennlys if you're passing, but avoid Bal Parc unless you're among the most hardened of cred whores (or you particularly want to go somewhere where you'll probably contract a hideous disease)