Howie
Donkey in a hat
So there I was, hanging out at Six Flags Great Adventure having a super-awesome day. As you do.
I should stress at this point that I'm not part of any organised trip or anything, it's just me and my buddy Jay - 2 dudes from England on a short east coast road trip to tick off some important creds.
And there we are, having a crafty cigarette in one of the smoking areas, when I overheard 3 random goons next to us, also having a fag. (Yes, I'm British, we smoke fags here, get over it). 2 of them had English accents. That's quite cool, I thought. However 2 of them had beards. Not so cool.
Anyways, I couldn't help overhearing these 3 random goons comparing El Toro to Wodan. Sensing I was in the presence of like-minded geeks, I used this as an excuse to butt in on their conversation: 'Wodan in Europa Park?' I said. 'Yep, I've been there...'
And so it began, a lively discussion which would, a few minutes later, lead me to the startling revelation that one of these funny looking, bearded goons was none other than the East Coast(er) General himself!
Well, you can imagine what that was like? I nearly shat. For a coaster geek, that's like meeting a celebrity, man! A proper A-lister too, not no Stephen Baldwin or the like, a real legend.
At the time I wasn't a member of the forums or anything, I didn't even know what the guy looked like, but everyone who's anyone knows who the East Coast(er) General is. He's the CoasterForce guy - he's been on evvvvverything. And filmed it. The reason I didn't know what he looked like was because, unlike some other well known coaster geeks, ECG doesn't parade himself in front of the camera squealing 'Wheeeeee, twisty goodness!' like a big girl every chance he gets. Yeah you know who I'm talking about. Rather, he lets the POVs speak for themselves. Which is cool.
The other 2 goons were Ian and Darren B, and the 3 of them were nearing the end of their '3 Goons, One World Cup' tour of the USA.
So, upon concluding that Ian, Jerry and the other guy were my kind of goon, I decided to join the forum, and what better way to kick things off than with a trip report from the aforementioned... er, trip.
But first a quick introduction: Hi, I'm Dave. My mates call me Howie and aww shucks, I guess you can too.
My home park is Alton Towers, so naturally my favourite coaster is Nemesis.
Other favourites (prior to this trip) include X2, Dragon Kahn, Montu, Revenge of the Mummy (Fl), Behemoth and Goliath (Holland).
My count is 172. Quite modest by some standards, but given the lack of funding necessary to have a count in the 1000's, I like to think I've got some really good credits in there. And I don't do kiddie coasters. No Wacky Worms in my count, no sir! These days I'm quite happy to pass up on a Wild Mouse or an SLC too, getting a bit too old to bash myself about on one of those things, just for the sake of a credit.
Oh yes, by old I mean I've recently turned 40, which was the main excuse for having this trip in the first place.
I don't have a beard.
So then, on to the report. Seeing as I'm new here, I haven't yet figured out how to insert photographs into these things so for the time being at least, this could get wordy. And it's not like there's a shortage of 'coastergraphs' on these pages anyway, and I probably didn't take any pictures that you haven't already seen a hundred times before, so does it really matter? If it helps, I'll include a little prompt in the text every now & then, and you can imagine a photograph that somebody else took. Deal?
Day 1, Birmingham to New York
<insert obligatory shot of aeroplane wing taken from cabin here>
We land at Newark airport around lunchtime and get a shuttle bus to our Manhattan hotel. Now if I'd had my way we'd have picked up the hire car from the airport and driven straight to Six Flags 'cos I've done the whole NYC thing before, but my buddy Jay? Well, he'd never even been abroad before, let alone America, so he insisted on doing at least a small amount of sightseeing while there. Seems fair enough I suppose...
When in New York, it's customary to head straight to the top of the Empire State Building. That's when you really know you've arrived. So that's what we did. And it's very nice.
<insert picture of Empire State Building here>
<insert several more pictures of random views from the top here>
We spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around like morons, seeing the sights, taking pictures of famous things and talking mainly about just how big all these buildings are.
Which was fun.
Day 2, Six Flags Great Adventure
So, we wake up in NYC at some goonish hour in the morning, grab breakfast and make our way to the hire car place to collect our chariot for the week.
<insert picture of dark grey Ford Fusion here>
Thanks to some careful planning on my part (go me!), the hotel was only a 10 minute walk from the Avis branch, and that in turn was only a couple of blocks away from the Lincoln Tunnel so we were able to make a relatively quick 'Escape From New York' and be on our way to New Jersey. It was still pretty scary mind you - quite a lot of clenching going on (and I don't mean my teeth!) - but in the end we made it to Six Flags in around 2 hours, just in time for opening (go me, again).
As I said earlier, I don't go on as many coaster trips as I'd like (who does?), so when I do go on a trip, I like to make it a good one, y'know? Go to the good parks, the big ones, the ones with at least a couple of big, world-class thrill machines in the line-up, and this trip was essentially based on the prospect of 3 specific rides; Number 1. El Toro. Hardcore coaster geeks go on and on about wooden coasters and how great they are, but I never really 'got it'. I've been on a few, but most of them have been grotty old knackers off of the 80's (or earlier!). Mediocre at best, downright awful at worst. No, I needed some good, modern wood in my life and El Toro is widely regarded to be one of the best.
Number 2. Intimidator 305. I rode Leviathan a couple of years ago, was left feeling ever-so-slightly underwhelmed by it so was desperate to try Intamin's take on the giga-coaster.
Finally and most importantly, number 3. Kingda Ka. I've coveted this ride since the day it opened and I promised myself that one day, no matter what it takes, I'll get to ride it. I know that many people rate Top Thrill Dragster as the better of the two, but that didn't matter to me. If I was only gonna go on one of them, I wanted it to be the BIG one, to be able to tell people that I've actually ridden the tallest rollercoaster on Earth. That would be soooo cool.
Imagine my anxiety then in the weeks leading up to the holiday, when Zumanjaro kept getting delayed, and delayed, and delayed some more, thus rendering Kingda Ka closed until it was finished.
As the days ticked by I became more and more accepting of the fact that Zumanjaro probably wouldn't be ready in time and therefore KK wouldn't be open.
Sure enough, as we entered the park we were informed of the inevitable; 'ZUMANJARO - COMING SOON (Kingda Ka closed indefinitely)'.
Bummer.
Looks like I'll only be getting 2 out of the 3 big credits I was after.
Oh well, it's not like there's a shortage of cool coasters at Great Adventure, there's always El Toro, and 5, count 'em, 5!!! B&M's is not to be sniffed at, so the day wasn't a complete write-off.
First impressions were very exciting, this is a good looking park. Rural location means it's nice & green, and there's a bewildering array of twisted, multi-coloured steel and wood laid out before you as you approach. Plenty of good photo opportunities here that'll look great on your Facetube page and make all your mates back home uber-jealous, especially when you explain to them that all of these fantastic looking machines are actually all in one park, a park that your average British non-goon has probably never heard of.
<insert various pictures of SFGAdv coasters here>
That shot from the car park showing all the loops and dives of both Superman and Green Lantern?
<insert that here>
That fantastic picture that everyone takes of El Toro's profile, with Kingda Ka looming over it in the background? Yep, took that one.
<insert it here>
The Batman photo, with Nitro's lift hill in the background?
<ditto>
Being newbies to the park, we did what everyone else does and veered left towards the inviting pair of B&M's that catch your eye from the parking lot. Superman: Ultimate Flight had already built up a 30 minute queue, so we went for Green Lantern instead. Queue was quite slow-moving so we quickly decided to abuse the single-rider lane and were on within about 10 minutes.
First thing's first, Green Lantern is a truly terrible name for a coaster. I mean, really? Green Lantern?? Why not call it Beige Curtains instead? Or Turqoise Footstool? If you're gonna name a coaster after a household item, at least make it something cool. Yes, yes I know, Green Lantern is actually a comic book superhero, but if it wasn't for that dodgy movie a couple of years ago, would you have ever even heard of him? Of course not. Me neither.
When you think about it, Green Lantern is actually a pretty turd name for a superhero in the first place, so why name a coaster after him? Hmm?.
Anyway I'm ranting, the ride itself is actually pretty good. Not great, the whole stand-up coaster concept is not one that I go mad for, but as a warm up ride, a taste of things to come, it did the job admirably. On a par with Riddler's Revenge. 7/10
Given that the crowds were building up in the area we decided it would be a good idea to invest in a couple of Flashpass thingies. We were only going to be here once, may as well make the best of it. So that's what we did. $65 each for the gold ones. Naturally, once we'd shelled out our cash and were clutching our fancy, hi-tech gizmos, the crowds seemed to immediately disperse and for the rest of the day, most rides were pretty much walk-on.
Bummer number 2.
However, despite the $130 setback, our Flashpass gadget would come in very handy indeed later in the day...
Next up we headed for the back of the park towards Batman & Nitro. I haven't ridden all of them, but I think it's safe to say that the 'Batman the Ride' clones are all pretty much identical so if you like any of those that you've been on, you'll probably like this one too. If not, well, same goes. Me? I like them. Good, forceful, intense ride. 8/10.
Apart from the Big 3, Nitro was one of the rides I was looking forward to the most. This would be my 5th hyper coaster (3rd B&M hyper) and I've liked them all but Nitro is supposedly one of the best, some people even say it's their all-time number 1, but you know what? I didn't really like it that much. It's ok, but I couldn't help noticing a definite rattle to it, bit of a shake, you know? Someone told us that it's smoother at the front, so we had another go, nearer the the front this time, but nope, still the same. The whole train definitely had a judder to it that I found off-putting. Wouldn't call it 'rough', but it was certainly a distraction. Maybe it just needs some new wheels or sumat. I dunno, I guess it just didn't push my 'Goon Button' as much as I'd hoped. 7/10.
Next up was The Dark Knight. It doesn't matter how you dress it up, it's a Wild Mouse in a big, tin shed. The pre-show bit is rather irrelevant and drags on for too long, and the on-ride effects are limited and a bit lame. The coaster itself? Well, it's a Mouse, and a Mouse is a Mouse. I have to admit though, the surprise encounter with the rogue subway train at the end DID make me jump. Overall then, marginally better than most Mice, but that only brings it up to a 5/10.
By this time the weather was gettingreally hot, so a rip on the Rapids ride seemed like a good idea. Wrong. Bad idea. We got proper drenched, head to foot, no mercy. Fags and rolling papers ruined, phones barely surviving, squelchy socks, the lot. The reason? Sharing a boat with 10, big-ass, fried chicken eating mofo's, that's what. I'm not kidding, there must have been 2000lb's worth of massive, blubbery flesh bouncing along in the boat. Plus 2 scrawny, white dudes in the form of me and Jay. And for some reason, me and Jay bore the brunt of seemingly every wave, in one instance practically being submerged in the raging torrent. Our companions in the dinghy found this most hilarious, and laughed like hyenas at our misfortune. Good for them. Glad we could have helped to brighten up their day. No, really...
As rapids rides go, it's a bit on the short side, but I do love it when a water ride isn't afraid to get you properly soaked. It's just better when somebody else in the boat gets it worse. 7/10
<insert picture of 2 drowned rats here>
Following a brief excursion back to the car to get a fresh packet of baccy & some skins, and to change into some dry socks, we head back into the park and continue where we left off, which was Skull Mountain. Not much to report here - it's an indoor family coaster, inside a mountain. Shaped like a skull. It's ok, and is worth about 5 out of your 10 stars.
It was around this time that my little Flashpass doodah buzzed, and a little message flashed up on the screen to tell us that Bizarro was now open. 'Ooh that's a nice little touch' I thought. Very handy indeed. If only it had said 'Kingda Ka is now open'...
Still, a 7-loop B&M Floorless coaster is always a good shout, so Bizarro is where we headed next. And it's a good one. Not as good as, say, Kraken, but definitely better than Scream. My main issue with this coaster is the name. Bizarro?? Like most Brits, I had absolutely no idea who or what Bizarro was, so the whole Superman-esque theming came as a bit of a surprise to be honest. Turns out Bizarro is Superman's evil alter-ego. Or twin brother. Or something. Anyway, without being armed with that knowledge beforehand, it may as well be called Weirdo. Which is basically what it is - a bit weird. The random near-miss obstacles strewn along the course, the pointless effects, the random soundbites in the station, it's all a bit
.. random. Think I would have preferred it before the re-theme where it was simply 'a big, steel floorless coaster called Medusa'. 7/10.
Ok, enough of this fannying around, it was time to get serious, it was time to hit one the big boys that we flew 3000 miles for: El Toro. We booked a slot. 20 minutes to go, just enough time for a quick razz on the mine train (pretty, but overall, meh. 5/10). One more cigarette and we head for the mighty Bull. First of all, isn't it just the most impressive looking thing? So tall, and yet so slender - really beautiful.
I have to admit, going up that insanely fast lift-hill actually made me start to feel a little nervous, especially when I looked down and saw just how steep that first drop is. For the first time on this trip, my Goon'ometer needle was truly starting to twitch. This was gonna be fun! And boy did it deliver. What an absolutely fantastic ride, it's just brilliant. From the moment you plunge down that cliff-place of a first drop, right up to the final brake-run, it's just a non-stop frenzy of speed, noise, airtime, speed, massive drops, speed, intense twists n turns, and did I mention the speed? Sooo relentless, so much fun, I just loved it. Finally, some proper modern wood in my life and finally I 'get it'! The geeks were right all along; wood is good.
An easy 10/10 and straight into my all-time top 5. Maybe even top 3, haven't decided yet...
The next thing we saw literally made my heart skip a beat: Kingda Ka sending an empty train round. A few minutes later, another one. Could it be..? Would today, of all days, be the day that Kingda Ka opened for the very first time this season?? Probably not, I'm just not that lucky. I checked my Flashpass, nope, still closed. Just on the off-chance, we made our way over to the entrance anyway and sure enough, the area was fenced off and a big, burly security guard was telling people 'No, still just testing, won't be open today', he said. GRRRR, this was infuriating - we were sooooo close.
Feeling ever-so-slightly down-hearted, we headed for Superman. To be fair, it actually did a decent job of cheering me up. I knew what to expect, I'd read the reviews, watched the POVs and was ready for a ride that I knew would be better than Air, but pales into insignificance compared to the likes of Tatsu and Manta. Sure enough, that's what I got... But, while most of the layout is just a bunch of lame turns and gentle swoops, S:UF is all about the pretzel loop, man! What a crazy inversion. Normally on a flyer I adopt the standard Superman position, but as we nosedived into the pretzel loop I suddenly found myself clutching the harness for dear life. Think I may have swore too! Possibly the single most intense element in the park, if not of any coaster currently in production today, and it maddens me that that sky-blue piece of crap at Alton Towers is the only flyer that hasn't got one. I'm tempted to give this ride 6/10, but the pretzel loop alone bumps it up to an 8. Goon-button well & truly pushed.
We had another go on Green Lantern. We had another go on El Toro. We smoked some cigarettes and we ate some fish & chips. The day was going swimmingly when I was scrolling down the menu on the Flashpass device deciding what to ride next, and 3 little words made my heart skip a beat. Again...
It said 'Kingda Ka. Reserve?'
It hadn't said that all day, it had 'unavailable' written next to it the entire time. And it certainly hadn't buzzed to let us know that it had opened, like it did with Bizarro. Was this for real, or were they just teasing me?
Needless to say, I didn't give the little gadget time to change its mind. Reserve? Oh HELLLLL YES!
I still wasn't convinced that it was actually open but as we approached it became clear that the trains were now going round with people on them. Brilliant! Looks like we might get our ride after all. This was it - the big one!
You know how sometimes, when you're really looking forward to a ride, when you hype a coaster up in your own head so much, that when you finally get on the thing, it just doesn't live up?
Well forget all that. Kingda Ka took my expectations and blew them completely out the water. If you haven't ridden it (or TTD) yet, trust me, this is not 'like Stealth, only bigger', this is something else entirely, this is sheer, monster thrill on a massive scale. What insane madman came up with this as a ride concept? Whoever it was deserves a mighty slap on the back if you ask me. This is quite simply the most colossal blast of pure adrenalin I've ever experienced on a ride. It's bonkers. It's out of this world. It's sublime.
Are you getting the picture here? Kingda Ka took my beloved Goon-Button, and didn't so much push it, as smash it with a giant, green, comedy rubber mallet. BOOM! 'Ave that, puny human.
Not since my first go on Oblivion, all those years ago, has that much crap, been scared out of one man, by one ride.
Not surprisingly, an emphatic 10/10.
And that pretty much wraps things up. Following our encounter with KK we smoked several cigarettes and discussed at length the enormity of what just happened, and just how downright freakin' lucky we were to have got on the thing.
It was during one of these fags that we bumped into the 3 Coasterforce Goons, Ian, ECG and Darren B. Which was nice...
Shortly after that, Kingda Ka would close again for the rest of the day so we didn't get to re-ride it but that didn't matter, it was mission accomplished, I'd got that all-important credit. For the time being at least (until somebody builds a bigger one) I've ridden the tallest rollercoaster in the world, my one ride on it blew me away, and I'm happy with that.
For the remainder of the day we re-rode El Toro and the 5 B&M's (once each), bought some new Gooniform in the shape of an El Toro T shirt, smoked some more fags and called it a day around 8pm.
Well, what an amazing day that turned out to be. What was turning out to be a pretty awesome day anyway was made even better by the spectacular stroke of luck that allowed us to ride that giant, green thing.
I officially LOVE Six Flags Great Adventure. This is my kinda park - big coaster after big coaster after big coaster.
I loved Magic Mountain too, but I think GAdv just edges it for me. SFMM might have more coasters, but on the whole I think I prefer the line-up here. I can forgive the lack of dark rides, I can forgive the '<insert comic-book character here>: The Ride' mentality of the creative department, I can even forgive the $25 parking fee, because that double-whammy of Kingda Ka and El Toro is just too good to resist. Also, at Magic Mountain, I didnt feel like they opened their star attraction just because they knew I was coming all the way from England that day.
<insert picture of 2 very happy and coastered-out Goons here>
Coming soon: Kings Dominion, BGW, steak & egg McMuffins (yeah you heard me, steak & egg McMuffins), peanut butter milkshakes, and maybe some photographs too, competence on my part permitting.
Thanks for reading.
I should stress at this point that I'm not part of any organised trip or anything, it's just me and my buddy Jay - 2 dudes from England on a short east coast road trip to tick off some important creds.
And there we are, having a crafty cigarette in one of the smoking areas, when I overheard 3 random goons next to us, also having a fag. (Yes, I'm British, we smoke fags here, get over it). 2 of them had English accents. That's quite cool, I thought. However 2 of them had beards. Not so cool.
Anyways, I couldn't help overhearing these 3 random goons comparing El Toro to Wodan. Sensing I was in the presence of like-minded geeks, I used this as an excuse to butt in on their conversation: 'Wodan in Europa Park?' I said. 'Yep, I've been there...'
And so it began, a lively discussion which would, a few minutes later, lead me to the startling revelation that one of these funny looking, bearded goons was none other than the East Coast(er) General himself!
Well, you can imagine what that was like? I nearly shat. For a coaster geek, that's like meeting a celebrity, man! A proper A-lister too, not no Stephen Baldwin or the like, a real legend.
At the time I wasn't a member of the forums or anything, I didn't even know what the guy looked like, but everyone who's anyone knows who the East Coast(er) General is. He's the CoasterForce guy - he's been on evvvvverything. And filmed it. The reason I didn't know what he looked like was because, unlike some other well known coaster geeks, ECG doesn't parade himself in front of the camera squealing 'Wheeeeee, twisty goodness!' like a big girl every chance he gets. Yeah you know who I'm talking about. Rather, he lets the POVs speak for themselves. Which is cool.
The other 2 goons were Ian and Darren B, and the 3 of them were nearing the end of their '3 Goons, One World Cup' tour of the USA.
So, upon concluding that Ian, Jerry and the other guy were my kind of goon, I decided to join the forum, and what better way to kick things off than with a trip report from the aforementioned... er, trip.
But first a quick introduction: Hi, I'm Dave. My mates call me Howie and aww shucks, I guess you can too.
My home park is Alton Towers, so naturally my favourite coaster is Nemesis.
Other favourites (prior to this trip) include X2, Dragon Kahn, Montu, Revenge of the Mummy (Fl), Behemoth and Goliath (Holland).
My count is 172. Quite modest by some standards, but given the lack of funding necessary to have a count in the 1000's, I like to think I've got some really good credits in there. And I don't do kiddie coasters. No Wacky Worms in my count, no sir! These days I'm quite happy to pass up on a Wild Mouse or an SLC too, getting a bit too old to bash myself about on one of those things, just for the sake of a credit.
Oh yes, by old I mean I've recently turned 40, which was the main excuse for having this trip in the first place.
I don't have a beard.
So then, on to the report. Seeing as I'm new here, I haven't yet figured out how to insert photographs into these things so for the time being at least, this could get wordy. And it's not like there's a shortage of 'coastergraphs' on these pages anyway, and I probably didn't take any pictures that you haven't already seen a hundred times before, so does it really matter? If it helps, I'll include a little prompt in the text every now & then, and you can imagine a photograph that somebody else took. Deal?
Day 1, Birmingham to New York
<insert obligatory shot of aeroplane wing taken from cabin here>
We land at Newark airport around lunchtime and get a shuttle bus to our Manhattan hotel. Now if I'd had my way we'd have picked up the hire car from the airport and driven straight to Six Flags 'cos I've done the whole NYC thing before, but my buddy Jay? Well, he'd never even been abroad before, let alone America, so he insisted on doing at least a small amount of sightseeing while there. Seems fair enough I suppose...
When in New York, it's customary to head straight to the top of the Empire State Building. That's when you really know you've arrived. So that's what we did. And it's very nice.
<insert picture of Empire State Building here>
<insert several more pictures of random views from the top here>
We spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around like morons, seeing the sights, taking pictures of famous things and talking mainly about just how big all these buildings are.
Which was fun.
Day 2, Six Flags Great Adventure
So, we wake up in NYC at some goonish hour in the morning, grab breakfast and make our way to the hire car place to collect our chariot for the week.
<insert picture of dark grey Ford Fusion here>
Thanks to some careful planning on my part (go me!), the hotel was only a 10 minute walk from the Avis branch, and that in turn was only a couple of blocks away from the Lincoln Tunnel so we were able to make a relatively quick 'Escape From New York' and be on our way to New Jersey. It was still pretty scary mind you - quite a lot of clenching going on (and I don't mean my teeth!) - but in the end we made it to Six Flags in around 2 hours, just in time for opening (go me, again).
As I said earlier, I don't go on as many coaster trips as I'd like (who does?), so when I do go on a trip, I like to make it a good one, y'know? Go to the good parks, the big ones, the ones with at least a couple of big, world-class thrill machines in the line-up, and this trip was essentially based on the prospect of 3 specific rides; Number 1. El Toro. Hardcore coaster geeks go on and on about wooden coasters and how great they are, but I never really 'got it'. I've been on a few, but most of them have been grotty old knackers off of the 80's (or earlier!). Mediocre at best, downright awful at worst. No, I needed some good, modern wood in my life and El Toro is widely regarded to be one of the best.
Number 2. Intimidator 305. I rode Leviathan a couple of years ago, was left feeling ever-so-slightly underwhelmed by it so was desperate to try Intamin's take on the giga-coaster.
Finally and most importantly, number 3. Kingda Ka. I've coveted this ride since the day it opened and I promised myself that one day, no matter what it takes, I'll get to ride it. I know that many people rate Top Thrill Dragster as the better of the two, but that didn't matter to me. If I was only gonna go on one of them, I wanted it to be the BIG one, to be able to tell people that I've actually ridden the tallest rollercoaster on Earth. That would be soooo cool.
Imagine my anxiety then in the weeks leading up to the holiday, when Zumanjaro kept getting delayed, and delayed, and delayed some more, thus rendering Kingda Ka closed until it was finished.
As the days ticked by I became more and more accepting of the fact that Zumanjaro probably wouldn't be ready in time and therefore KK wouldn't be open.
Sure enough, as we entered the park we were informed of the inevitable; 'ZUMANJARO - COMING SOON (Kingda Ka closed indefinitely)'.
Bummer.
Looks like I'll only be getting 2 out of the 3 big credits I was after.
Oh well, it's not like there's a shortage of cool coasters at Great Adventure, there's always El Toro, and 5, count 'em, 5!!! B&M's is not to be sniffed at, so the day wasn't a complete write-off.
First impressions were very exciting, this is a good looking park. Rural location means it's nice & green, and there's a bewildering array of twisted, multi-coloured steel and wood laid out before you as you approach. Plenty of good photo opportunities here that'll look great on your Facetube page and make all your mates back home uber-jealous, especially when you explain to them that all of these fantastic looking machines are actually all in one park, a park that your average British non-goon has probably never heard of.
<insert various pictures of SFGAdv coasters here>
That shot from the car park showing all the loops and dives of both Superman and Green Lantern?
<insert that here>
That fantastic picture that everyone takes of El Toro's profile, with Kingda Ka looming over it in the background? Yep, took that one.
<insert it here>
The Batman photo, with Nitro's lift hill in the background?
<ditto>
Being newbies to the park, we did what everyone else does and veered left towards the inviting pair of B&M's that catch your eye from the parking lot. Superman: Ultimate Flight had already built up a 30 minute queue, so we went for Green Lantern instead. Queue was quite slow-moving so we quickly decided to abuse the single-rider lane and were on within about 10 minutes.
First thing's first, Green Lantern is a truly terrible name for a coaster. I mean, really? Green Lantern?? Why not call it Beige Curtains instead? Or Turqoise Footstool? If you're gonna name a coaster after a household item, at least make it something cool. Yes, yes I know, Green Lantern is actually a comic book superhero, but if it wasn't for that dodgy movie a couple of years ago, would you have ever even heard of him? Of course not. Me neither.
When you think about it, Green Lantern is actually a pretty turd name for a superhero in the first place, so why name a coaster after him? Hmm?.
Anyway I'm ranting, the ride itself is actually pretty good. Not great, the whole stand-up coaster concept is not one that I go mad for, but as a warm up ride, a taste of things to come, it did the job admirably. On a par with Riddler's Revenge. 7/10
Given that the crowds were building up in the area we decided it would be a good idea to invest in a couple of Flashpass thingies. We were only going to be here once, may as well make the best of it. So that's what we did. $65 each for the gold ones. Naturally, once we'd shelled out our cash and were clutching our fancy, hi-tech gizmos, the crowds seemed to immediately disperse and for the rest of the day, most rides were pretty much walk-on.
Bummer number 2.
However, despite the $130 setback, our Flashpass gadget would come in very handy indeed later in the day...
Next up we headed for the back of the park towards Batman & Nitro. I haven't ridden all of them, but I think it's safe to say that the 'Batman the Ride' clones are all pretty much identical so if you like any of those that you've been on, you'll probably like this one too. If not, well, same goes. Me? I like them. Good, forceful, intense ride. 8/10.
Apart from the Big 3, Nitro was one of the rides I was looking forward to the most. This would be my 5th hyper coaster (3rd B&M hyper) and I've liked them all but Nitro is supposedly one of the best, some people even say it's their all-time number 1, but you know what? I didn't really like it that much. It's ok, but I couldn't help noticing a definite rattle to it, bit of a shake, you know? Someone told us that it's smoother at the front, so we had another go, nearer the the front this time, but nope, still the same. The whole train definitely had a judder to it that I found off-putting. Wouldn't call it 'rough', but it was certainly a distraction. Maybe it just needs some new wheels or sumat. I dunno, I guess it just didn't push my 'Goon Button' as much as I'd hoped. 7/10.
Next up was The Dark Knight. It doesn't matter how you dress it up, it's a Wild Mouse in a big, tin shed. The pre-show bit is rather irrelevant and drags on for too long, and the on-ride effects are limited and a bit lame. The coaster itself? Well, it's a Mouse, and a Mouse is a Mouse. I have to admit though, the surprise encounter with the rogue subway train at the end DID make me jump. Overall then, marginally better than most Mice, but that only brings it up to a 5/10.
By this time the weather was gettingreally hot, so a rip on the Rapids ride seemed like a good idea. Wrong. Bad idea. We got proper drenched, head to foot, no mercy. Fags and rolling papers ruined, phones barely surviving, squelchy socks, the lot. The reason? Sharing a boat with 10, big-ass, fried chicken eating mofo's, that's what. I'm not kidding, there must have been 2000lb's worth of massive, blubbery flesh bouncing along in the boat. Plus 2 scrawny, white dudes in the form of me and Jay. And for some reason, me and Jay bore the brunt of seemingly every wave, in one instance practically being submerged in the raging torrent. Our companions in the dinghy found this most hilarious, and laughed like hyenas at our misfortune. Good for them. Glad we could have helped to brighten up their day. No, really...
As rapids rides go, it's a bit on the short side, but I do love it when a water ride isn't afraid to get you properly soaked. It's just better when somebody else in the boat gets it worse. 7/10
<insert picture of 2 drowned rats here>
Following a brief excursion back to the car to get a fresh packet of baccy & some skins, and to change into some dry socks, we head back into the park and continue where we left off, which was Skull Mountain. Not much to report here - it's an indoor family coaster, inside a mountain. Shaped like a skull. It's ok, and is worth about 5 out of your 10 stars.
It was around this time that my little Flashpass doodah buzzed, and a little message flashed up on the screen to tell us that Bizarro was now open. 'Ooh that's a nice little touch' I thought. Very handy indeed. If only it had said 'Kingda Ka is now open'...
Still, a 7-loop B&M Floorless coaster is always a good shout, so Bizarro is where we headed next. And it's a good one. Not as good as, say, Kraken, but definitely better than Scream. My main issue with this coaster is the name. Bizarro?? Like most Brits, I had absolutely no idea who or what Bizarro was, so the whole Superman-esque theming came as a bit of a surprise to be honest. Turns out Bizarro is Superman's evil alter-ego. Or twin brother. Or something. Anyway, without being armed with that knowledge beforehand, it may as well be called Weirdo. Which is basically what it is - a bit weird. The random near-miss obstacles strewn along the course, the pointless effects, the random soundbites in the station, it's all a bit
.. random. Think I would have preferred it before the re-theme where it was simply 'a big, steel floorless coaster called Medusa'. 7/10.
Ok, enough of this fannying around, it was time to get serious, it was time to hit one the big boys that we flew 3000 miles for: El Toro. We booked a slot. 20 minutes to go, just enough time for a quick razz on the mine train (pretty, but overall, meh. 5/10). One more cigarette and we head for the mighty Bull. First of all, isn't it just the most impressive looking thing? So tall, and yet so slender - really beautiful.
I have to admit, going up that insanely fast lift-hill actually made me start to feel a little nervous, especially when I looked down and saw just how steep that first drop is. For the first time on this trip, my Goon'ometer needle was truly starting to twitch. This was gonna be fun! And boy did it deliver. What an absolutely fantastic ride, it's just brilliant. From the moment you plunge down that cliff-place of a first drop, right up to the final brake-run, it's just a non-stop frenzy of speed, noise, airtime, speed, massive drops, speed, intense twists n turns, and did I mention the speed? Sooo relentless, so much fun, I just loved it. Finally, some proper modern wood in my life and finally I 'get it'! The geeks were right all along; wood is good.
An easy 10/10 and straight into my all-time top 5. Maybe even top 3, haven't decided yet...
The next thing we saw literally made my heart skip a beat: Kingda Ka sending an empty train round. A few minutes later, another one. Could it be..? Would today, of all days, be the day that Kingda Ka opened for the very first time this season?? Probably not, I'm just not that lucky. I checked my Flashpass, nope, still closed. Just on the off-chance, we made our way over to the entrance anyway and sure enough, the area was fenced off and a big, burly security guard was telling people 'No, still just testing, won't be open today', he said. GRRRR, this was infuriating - we were sooooo close.
Feeling ever-so-slightly down-hearted, we headed for Superman. To be fair, it actually did a decent job of cheering me up. I knew what to expect, I'd read the reviews, watched the POVs and was ready for a ride that I knew would be better than Air, but pales into insignificance compared to the likes of Tatsu and Manta. Sure enough, that's what I got... But, while most of the layout is just a bunch of lame turns and gentle swoops, S:UF is all about the pretzel loop, man! What a crazy inversion. Normally on a flyer I adopt the standard Superman position, but as we nosedived into the pretzel loop I suddenly found myself clutching the harness for dear life. Think I may have swore too! Possibly the single most intense element in the park, if not of any coaster currently in production today, and it maddens me that that sky-blue piece of crap at Alton Towers is the only flyer that hasn't got one. I'm tempted to give this ride 6/10, but the pretzel loop alone bumps it up to an 8. Goon-button well & truly pushed.
We had another go on Green Lantern. We had another go on El Toro. We smoked some cigarettes and we ate some fish & chips. The day was going swimmingly when I was scrolling down the menu on the Flashpass device deciding what to ride next, and 3 little words made my heart skip a beat. Again...
It said 'Kingda Ka. Reserve?'
It hadn't said that all day, it had 'unavailable' written next to it the entire time. And it certainly hadn't buzzed to let us know that it had opened, like it did with Bizarro. Was this for real, or were they just teasing me?
Needless to say, I didn't give the little gadget time to change its mind. Reserve? Oh HELLLLL YES!
I still wasn't convinced that it was actually open but as we approached it became clear that the trains were now going round with people on them. Brilliant! Looks like we might get our ride after all. This was it - the big one!
You know how sometimes, when you're really looking forward to a ride, when you hype a coaster up in your own head so much, that when you finally get on the thing, it just doesn't live up?
Well forget all that. Kingda Ka took my expectations and blew them completely out the water. If you haven't ridden it (or TTD) yet, trust me, this is not 'like Stealth, only bigger', this is something else entirely, this is sheer, monster thrill on a massive scale. What insane madman came up with this as a ride concept? Whoever it was deserves a mighty slap on the back if you ask me. This is quite simply the most colossal blast of pure adrenalin I've ever experienced on a ride. It's bonkers. It's out of this world. It's sublime.
Are you getting the picture here? Kingda Ka took my beloved Goon-Button, and didn't so much push it, as smash it with a giant, green, comedy rubber mallet. BOOM! 'Ave that, puny human.
Not since my first go on Oblivion, all those years ago, has that much crap, been scared out of one man, by one ride.
Not surprisingly, an emphatic 10/10.
And that pretty much wraps things up. Following our encounter with KK we smoked several cigarettes and discussed at length the enormity of what just happened, and just how downright freakin' lucky we were to have got on the thing.
It was during one of these fags that we bumped into the 3 Coasterforce Goons, Ian, ECG and Darren B. Which was nice...
Shortly after that, Kingda Ka would close again for the rest of the day so we didn't get to re-ride it but that didn't matter, it was mission accomplished, I'd got that all-important credit. For the time being at least (until somebody builds a bigger one) I've ridden the tallest rollercoaster in the world, my one ride on it blew me away, and I'm happy with that.
For the remainder of the day we re-rode El Toro and the 5 B&M's (once each), bought some new Gooniform in the shape of an El Toro T shirt, smoked some more fags and called it a day around 8pm.
Well, what an amazing day that turned out to be. What was turning out to be a pretty awesome day anyway was made even better by the spectacular stroke of luck that allowed us to ride that giant, green thing.
I officially LOVE Six Flags Great Adventure. This is my kinda park - big coaster after big coaster after big coaster.
I loved Magic Mountain too, but I think GAdv just edges it for me. SFMM might have more coasters, but on the whole I think I prefer the line-up here. I can forgive the lack of dark rides, I can forgive the '<insert comic-book character here>: The Ride' mentality of the creative department, I can even forgive the $25 parking fee, because that double-whammy of Kingda Ka and El Toro is just too good to resist. Also, at Magic Mountain, I didnt feel like they opened their star attraction just because they knew I was coming all the way from England that day.
<insert picture of 2 very happy and coastered-out Goons here>
Coming soon: Kings Dominion, BGW, steak & egg McMuffins (yeah you heard me, steak & egg McMuffins), peanut butter milkshakes, and maybe some photographs too, competence on my part permitting.
Thanks for reading.
