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Jungle Cruise, Jaws, Etc. Awful?

SaiyanHajime

SaiyanHajime

CF Legend
I don't understand how anyone can find these things fun... I'd just like to know what you guys think? Do you like them or not and why you feel the way you do?


Jungle Cruise is, basically, a very intimate show that just happens to be aboard a transport ride around dated scenery and animatronics. It's incredibly awkward, and whilst I get that this is the point, it's just not fun. It's not funny, and it's not even funny because it's not funny, it's just pathetic.

At least stuff happens on Jaws, but it's ruined because your tour guide, who is 9/10 awful (I don't blame them - they get paid the same as other rides employees to do what should be an entertainments department role), distracts you from whats going on at every given opportunity like a desperate attention seeking stand up comic with a tone that makes you want to punch them in the face.

Even Kilimanjaro Safaris, which is monumentally better because there's actually a purpose to the tour, the guide can respond to REAL stuff that's going on, the guide is facing away from you and instead of cracking bad ..."j-okes"?... lists off animal facts relevant to what's around you. But it is at times still a little awkward.

I really don't like shows - especially small ones that demand audience participation (like the Zufari pre show, for the worlds worst example).

Is it just me or are these attractions just bad by default? And if they are, why the hell are they seemingly so popular? Is this a cultural divide? Help me understand!
 
Jaws actually scared me no matter how many times I went on it. The effects were good but on that the ops were scripted so it was always the same.

Jungle cruise I do just to relax and have a laugh, the ride ops are so good on the ride. Each op had a rough script to stick to but they make it their own.

It all depends what you find funny tbh and for me I enjoy them.

Jaws got less popular and that's why it went but jungle cruise is always a must ride when ever I go.

For me I prefer it to Pirates which I've always thought was over rated.
 
I agree, Jungle Cruise is just pathetic. Even the first time you ride it, you ask yourself "Uh, the hell are we doing here." On the other hand, Jaws was not that bad. Yes, the acting was horrible, but the animatronics had potential. I find the Kilimanjaro Safari quite entertaining. It's a peaceful way to end the day after hours of waiting in line throughout the park's rides. But overall, I would spend time on doing other activities rather than watching these time-consuming shows.

Conclusion: I'm not a fan either.
 
I remember really liking the old Rhino Rally at BGT (before the main section was taken out for cheetah chase), even though I was probably the target age at the time and didn't really get that some of the jokes were bad :p

The new version is terrible in my opinion, but more informational as they took out the real 'ride' portion. However one of my pet peeves with those rides are when the guide chooses one person/child/family to always talk to and everybody else feels a little left out. I've also ridden jaws a few times, but don't remember much about it.

I also really liked the updated preshow that goes with the Disaster ride at Universal Orlando.
 
I really enjoy these types of attractions.

I love a good cheesy joke, and I always spot new things each time I ride each one (well, unless there is so little to the ride there's nothing to see anyway, like Zufari). Of course, it can be fairly dependent on the ride op at the time, and if you're in a boat/car/whatever with 20 obnoxious Brazilians then you might as well try to forget the whole experience, but more often than not I come off these attractions feeling happy.

Then again, I tend to really enjoy shows, and feel that a theme park isn't "complete" without at least one good show. Even shows which require audience participation can be good (Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor springs to mind).

Do you view the Studio Tour at Universal Studios Hollywood in the same vein? I mean, it's a guided tram tour through a whole bunch of deteriorating old movie scenes and props, how droll, right? ;)
 
Totally forgot about Rhino Rally. We were lucky to do the original version, well I say lucky lol. It was so bad the ride op just could not be bothered and just fun out of what was going on so it just ruined it.

I would add back stage rides into this. The one at Universal in California is fantastic as was the one in Movie Park in Italy. The Hollywood one had Jaws, King Kong loads of other bits it's fantastic.

The one at Disney in Orlando was ok years ago but the one in Paris has always been piss poor.

Joey knowing you I can see why you don't like them. They are just fun rides to pass time and they don't do much. You prefer the more in depth stories that mean something and you feel rewarded at the end of it.

For me they are harmless fun pass the time rides/shows.
 
A good spieling attraction is a great bonus to a theme park. At WDW the spielers do not get paid extra, so it can br hit or miss. Spielers at Universal, Jaws (rip), Disaster, etc... were paid spiel pay or are entertainmemt, depending on the role. You usually get a more consistent experience because of that.

With all of theses rides it is make or break with the spieler. I have had some of the best times on Jungle Cruise, Great Movie Ride, and Jaws, at the same time ive had 10-20 minutes of boring on them too.
 
Like Mike I love a good show, but I also loathe audience participation (so really don't agree about monsters Inc being good).

However I agree that these rides tend to be terrible. I have chuckled on Jungle Cruise but past the minor chuckles plus loads of awkward silences the attraction does nothing. It's a shame because they take up valuable room in the parks.

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Disaster is poor though, the new pre ride show is even worse than the old one. It's all about the ride at the end and was better when you went straight there.

I hate participation as well which is why I don't bother with the Indy Stunt Show, wish they would remove it lol.
 
Jaws is good Joey, ssshhhh...(still haven't recovered from its sudden closure *sobs*).

Jungle Cruise is.....well...dunno. Like an awkward uncle I guess? Like, I loved the kitschy, hammy dialogue from Jaws and whenever I got a good op (which was on most of my rides in memory thinking about it) and with the explosions and the music and all that stuff it was just good old fashioned Orlando fun.

Disney CANNOT do that hammy stuff. Because they ARE so cheesy, when they try to make fun of themselves it just ends up being cringy and gross. So once upon a time Jungle Cruise was apparently genuinely thrilling to a late 50s/early 60s audience, and the dialogue matched that. Disney realised coming into the 21st century that the dialogue did not match the modern day audience and their opinion of what was thrilling and so they changed the script, making the whole ride an entire pun, poking fun at what used to be scary and was now just...lame.

I think Jungle Cruise is one of those that suffers from the nostalgia factor, especially in the original Disneyland park. It is beloved by Disney goons because it is one of the last remaining attractions that Walt himself worked on and so it holds a lot of value there and is a Disney 'classic' alongside Pirates and Haunted Mansion. Unlike Universal, who looked at Back to the Future and Jaws and ripped them out and replaced them with modern and up to date attractions, Disney have seemingly decided to just let Jungle Cruise sit there and fade out. Yes it was sore for those who loved the rides to watch them go but ultimately they would have suffered this 'nostalgia factor' and eventually would have gone from being once thrilling attractions to merely taking up space as a throwback for those looking to rekindle old memories of their time in the park.

Basically I think this kind of ride it very very dated and people only 'enjoy' them for their nostalgia value over anything else. I mean really, who is going to ride Jaws when you've got Potter around the corner? Numbers were declining already and Universal are smart and really do their attractions a kindness by removing them before they lose their glory, meaning that their awesomeness will forever be remembered.
 
lauren said:
I remember really liking the old Rhino Rally at BGT (before the main section was taken out for cheetah chase), even though I was probably the target age at the time and didn't really get that some of the jokes were bad :p

The new version is terrible in my opinion, but more informational as they took out the real 'ride' portion. However one of my pet peeves with those rides are when the guide chooses one person/child/family to always talk to and everybody else feels a little left out. I've also ridden jaws a few times, but don't remember much about it..
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I never got to do Rhino Rally, but I researched it when I wrote the hefty Zufari review (plug, plug, plug!). What I concluded from povs and the reviews of others was it didn't work because it was Jungle Cruse with real animals. It was sort of ...insulting? That's why Kilimanjaro Safari's work better since they removed the narrative and animatronic elephant section. Rhino Rally and Zufari both float in the ride/safari limbo of awkwardness. Kilimanjaro gets away with it not only because is it visually superior with far greater number of wildlife, but because it's ride-like elements are very, very minimal.

TL:DR You've either gotta be a Jungle Cruise or a proper safari not a hodge podge.

Your point about the guide picking someone out and feeling left out is interesting though. I was, and still am, the kid begging they don't get picked and awkwardly shaking their head when it inevitably happens. Is this a cultural thing? Am I weird? I quite like watching other people join in, but the fear of me having to just kills the experience completely. :(

Do you view the Studio Tour at Universal Studios Hollywood in the same vein? I mean, it's a guided tram tour through a whole bunch of deteriorating old movie scenes and props, how droll, right? ;)
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Yup.

Not quite as bad as Jungle Cruise here though because it's sort of self representational and is interesting for other reasons. Jungle Cruise is literally something that shouldn't exist today. It's kept alive because it's been transformed from a serious attraction into one that laughs at itself.

Joey knowing you I can see why you don't like them. They are just fun rides to pass time and they don't do much. You prefer the more in depth stories that mean something and you feel rewarded at the end of it.
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I'm not sure that's it. I love mindless attractions... The problem with these is the awkward interaction. Like Mike said, it's sooooo heavilly dependant on having a good skipper.

rtotheizzo17 said:
A good spieling attraction is a great bonus to a theme park. At WDW the spielers do not get paid extra, so it can br hit or miss. Spielers at Universal, Jaws (rip), Disaster, etc... were paid spiel pay or are entertainmemt, depending on the role. You usually get a more consistent experience because of that.
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Did not know this! That's interesting, thank you.


Also Jordan's entire post was pretty much spot on.
 
Tbh many old Disney rides like this, Dumbos, Pirates and Haunted Mansion are like the right of passage.

Who really really loves them? Yes people enjoy them but would you queue hours to ride them.

Jaws I won't miss, sometimes did not even bother with it, the queue line was one of the worst when it was hot and the ride ops just said the same thing all the time. I know people loved it but it really did have its day.
 
I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I really LOVE the Cali & Paris version of Pirates and the Orlando & Cali version of Haunted Mansion. Like I find them genuinely entertaining (Orlando is cheating a bit because I've only loved it since the update).

But yh, on the whole I do agree Marc.

I forgot to say in my first post about 'forced' interaction. I always thought it was a British thing in that we shy away from this because we hate being the centre of attention. However just now I was watching some POVs of Jungle Cruise and every time the jokes fall flat. Like I mean there is just not even a murmur of laughter, and the skipper is pretty much ignored by everybody on board. And John mentioned Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor, whenever I've done that attraction I find myself half looking at the floor so as not to be picked on. It IS cool the way you can interact, but it does add an underlying layer of horror and suspense to the attraction as you sit there squirming at the thought that the next joke might be on you. Enjoyable to watch, not enjoyable to be part of.

And I do not think this is a good thing, literally EVERYBODY hopes they are not going to be 'it'. We say we can laugh at ourselves but inside we secretly want to die. It's gross. Shows are meant to be done AT us, not including us, in my opinion, and unless you have someone like Conor in the audience who will happily banter back and forth then the jokes can just fall flat and it's just awful and awkward and.....no.

That's why I didn't really understand the new Belle attraction in New Fantasyland. Pretty much EVERYONE has to do something. Like, it's pretty much forced and the 'audiences' are really small so there's so hiding. It kind of sours an otherwise fab attraction? Don't know, it's a complex thing.

The WORST though is when places outside of the USA try to replicate. Truly vulgar.
 
I do like the pirates in California I agree, Orlando's is so poor.

And yes Haunted Mansion in Orlando is better with the new stuff. But I still would not queue hours for it.

Sorry gone off topic.

Thing is though Jaws queues died down yet Jungle still gets queues for hours. We have always been lucky and had great ride ops they even remembered us when we went on it twice lol.

I do get why people don't like them, for me Jungle is just a ride I can go on and relax lol.
 
I tell you what two rides/show things are pointless and if I could get the time back I would. They are both at Epcot, one takes you round plants in a boat the other is that power one.

Who can ever enjoy them lol.
 
I never liked Jaws, so I'll agree with you there that it isn't all that good.


BUT.

Clearly you've never had a good Jungle Cruise Skipper, because they make or break the ride. Since they are NOT required to follow a script, and are permitted to change jokes, change the story line, almost anything, well...

If you get a bad one, the ride is a waste of time, but if you get a good one?

OMG, it can be amazing.

In Hong Kong, we had a Skipper who was under training, and had a second host standing next to her while she drove and spieled. Her Engrish was horrible, so bad, I think she may have actually been faking it. She played that for laughs. She played the training for laughs. She even succeeded in getting her trainer soaked TWICE. It was pretty awesome.

But, my favorite Skipper of all was in Orlando. She was from New Zealand, and for the duration of the ride, she proceeded to make fun of the Disney company itself.

This was a gentle poke compared to some of the barbs she delivered:
"Is everybody experiencing the world-famous Disney magic? (pause for response) I know, right? It's simply magical how fast Disney can drain the money from your wallet."

She asked if everyone was having fun. After the typical response, she said "Good. You're having fun, and I'm getting paid. I guess that means I'm having more fun than you then."

All the while, she essentially ignored every single scene and stunt the whole way around.

She had pretty much everyone on the boat ROLLING by the time we got back.
 
I've been on Jungle Cruise once (Orlando). I'm in no hurry to get back on. I have watched way too many POVs though, in a desperate attempt to understand why I don't get it, and I think my skipper was average. The style they present with is usually the same and it's the style more than whats said that I dislike. The theme in the sense of how it's presented isn't a pleasant thing to want to recreate, in my opinion.

It varying drastically between awful and outstanding (I'm skeptical...) isn't a good thing. It adds to the "these attractions are awful by default" thing if you cannot sustain a quality experience. If some of those go above and beyond, sure, but they all have to be high standard as a baseline. I'd argue that you have to experience the baseline with an attraction like this in order to even appreciate a good skipper. It's all comparative. Especially considering the types of parks these things turn up in. If I'm paying £80 or so, the attractions within have to be outstanding, and when they're not it makes them look comparatively worse than similar attractions elsewhere.

Like Jordan was saying - Disney is all about magic continuity. They do it so, so well that when you get aboard Jungle Cruise and you're painfully slapped in the face with a reality stick, it feels awkward and wrong.

marc said:
I tell you what two rides/show things are pointless and if I could get the time back I would. They are both at Epcot, one takes you round plants in a boat the other is that power one.

Who can ever enjoy them lol.
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HAHAHA! I LOVE THE LAND.

Well, sort of.

It's a terrible theme park attraction - most of Epcot is. If Epcot was free, Epcot would be amazing, but it's far from free.

The first half of The Land is pretty dire I'll admit, it probably would be even if it was in a free museum, but the greenhouse section literally was the highlight of the park for me.



What I don't get is just how full of sub-standard attractions, in terms of enjoyability not critical credibility, Disney is.

Don't even get me started on Carousel of Progress...


I forgot to say in my first post about 'forced' interaction. I always thought it was a British thing in that we shy away from this because we hate being the centre of attention. However just now I was watching some POVs of Jungle Cruise and every time the jokes fall flat. Like I mean there is just not even a murmur of laughter, and the skipper is pretty much ignored by everybody on board. And John mentioned Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor, whenever I've done that attraction I find myself half looking at the floor so as not to be picked on. It IS cool the way you can interact, but it does add an underlying layer of horror and suspense to the attraction as you sit there squirming at the thought that the next joke might be on you. Enjoyable to watch, not enjoyable to be part of.

And I do not think this is a good thing, literally EVERYBODY hopes they are not going to be 'it'. We say we can laugh at ourselves but inside we secretly want to die. It's gross. Shows are meant to be done AT us, not including us, in my opinion, and unless you have someone like Conor in the audience who will happily banter back and forth then the jokes can just fall flat and it's just awful and awkward and.....no.

That's why I didn't really understand the new Belle attraction in New Fantasyland. Pretty much EVERYONE has to do something. Like, it's pretty much forced and the 'audiences' are really small so there's so hiding. It kind of sours an otherwise fab attraction? Don't know, it's a complex thing.

The WORST though is when places outside of the USA try to replicate. Truly vulgar.
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I'm SO glad I'm not alone.
 
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