Last week I finally got round to visiting two theme parks I have wanted to go to for years - Hansa and Heide Park in north Germany. Burdenous Bristol doesn't fly anywhere near there, so I had to get up at 2am, go to horrible ol Stansted (my least favourite airport) and fly to Bremen from there.
Bremen airport is lovely and small, meaning there was minimal faff between stepping off the plane and driving off in the hire car. Yay.
2 hours later I was appreciating an excellent view of Karnan from the road, before I even got to the park - you can see this thing from miles away! It's so beautiful <3 ...and so spiteful <//3 argh!
The entrance to Hansa Park is impressive in its oppressiveness
Immediately I was struck by how pretty this park is
If I ever get married...I think I want to do it here.
Anyway! My first coaster of this trip was destined to be my 300th. Unlike my previous milestones (100 - G-Force at Drayton, 200 - Vertigo at P.A.M.) I really wanted my 300th to actually be a decent coaster! So I headed straight for Fluch Von Novgorod - an amazingly-themed launched Eurofighter.
The ride entrance features gravestones, overgrown trees and animatronic scarecrows
The bird on his shoulder sings!
Then the queue goes indoors and it's pitch black inside <3
There were lots of skulls
The ride station has a big chandelier, it's lights flicker out as the train dispatches - such a nice little touch!
The first part of the coaster is all dark-ride-esque. You meander through a few dramatic scenes where a stone man comes to life and starts singing. Then another scene with a thing with a really ugly face. Water effects happen as you plunge down the vertical drop (which is equally as fab as Saw's) then POW! You are launched straight out the ride building without a moment to catch your breath. I can't believe how forceful that launch is! It was like being kicked in the chest (in a good way, of course) I've ridden quite a few Gerstlauer launches but this one is in a different league when it comes to power.
Then you plow straight into a fab airtime hill, followed by a funny overbanked element that looks a bit like a tongue, then a heartline roll - which tips you upside down over a footpath - the rides only interaction with the 'outside world' so to speak. Ahhh this coaster is so well thought out!
Then comes the second half. The train goes back into a dark enclosed building, where you can just about make out the imposing shadows of the vertical lift hill that awaits. As the train cranks up the lift, it stops; so you are leaning back staring at the lightning effect above. Then when you finally crest the beyond vertical drop, you plunge into an amazing strobe lighting effect. Then more airtime hills happen! In complete darkness! Yay! <3
The coaster finishes with a big scarecrow descending down upon the train from the ceiling. It made the majority of the people on my train scream - meaning the train enters the loading station with people on board screaming. Another excellent touch!
You get off the train, but, to quote Hex "the story doesn't end there". To get out of the ride building you have to go through a pitch black maze, which has several dead ends. It's very eerie and quite claustrophobic; and succeeds in maintaining the haunting atmosphere and tension of the ride experience right until you are in the gift shop.
Fluch Von Novgorod is the thing I'm always searching for - a perfect ride. The roller coaster elements are dynamic and forceful, alone they would be great enough as it is. But they are tied together with a story and themeing that heightens the tension and drama of the ride experience unbelievably well. Never has a vertical lift had as much impact as this one. Never has a beyond vertical drop felt as surreal as this one. Placing those elements indoors and in the middle of the ride gave them such impact and a great flow. Being a / (the only?) Gerstlauer fan, and a sucker for anything with a dark theme, I did enter Fluch Von Novgorod with high expectations - yet it still managed to go above and beyond (vertical).
If you haven't ridden this coaster yet, go ride it!
I'm rather pleased that my 300th is also my new number one coaster.
Obviously I did a celebratory Milestone photo:
I felt sad that Ian From Coasterforce wasn't there to shake my hand. So I Photoshopped him in when I got home
Speaking of Ian, Hansa had this fab Bell ride
It has an ornament that breathed fire next to it. I didn't manage to capture it on camera, so I've done an artistic interpretation of it in MS Paint
Next to the fab Bell ride sits this towering beauty
Otherwise know as
It's huge
It stretches on for miles
It was testing. <//3
I'm so gutted I didn't get to ride this coaster. It looks so unique and fast. The trains really fly through that faux-inversion, you know - the heart-not-a-line-but-still-a-roll.
The tower sure is ugly though!
Started mopping up the creds after watching Karnan testing for a bit. There was a Mack Mouse. Boring.
There's an amazing family coaster 'Die Schlange Von Midgard' - a ride themed to the Norse Mythology tale about the sea snake that dwells in Midgard. (I <3 Norse Mythology) It's brilliantly themed, with lots of great lift hill effects and it's suspended over water. The coaster is pretty snappy for a family friendly one too. The queue line has Runes all over the walls and these adorable crows in viking helmets
So cute!
The rest of the creds included this haggard old Schwarzkopf - with a kiddie cred that traverses through it's loop!
Lunch followed, had this delicious Basil Pesto pasta for only 4.90Euro!
It's rare to find a park that does good vegetarian options - let alone for a reasonable price too!
Spent the rest of the afternoon faffing with the 'Miscellaneous' rides, such as this interactive safari where you have to take photos of the animatronic animals to get points using a fake on board camera
And the award for Best Animatronic Hippos goes to...
So detailed!
This kids playground is metal as f***!
I love how Hansa Park use skulls everywhere!
Rode the two log flumes that sit next to each other...? Both were pretty rubbish. Then the tiredness was starting to set in, so grabbed a few re-rides on Fluch then headed back to the hotel in Hamburg.
Hansa Park is lovely. It's floral and picturesque, and every ride station looks like a mini castle. If visited on a fairly quiet day, it can easily be done in 4/5 hours. If Karnan turns out to be as good as it looks, then they are well on their way to having an excellent line up of rides too. Would highly recommend this park!
Day Two
I had made goony plans to get up nice and early to arrive at Heide Park before opening for maximum cred-time, then my snooze button happened. Oops. Bad goon! Luckily it was just a leisurely 40 minute drive to the park, so still got there with plenty of time.
I love how 90's the entrance looks:
The initial plan was to run over to Collosos straight away but I got distracted by a dog that looked like an Ewok! (Tried to take a photo but turns out it's surprisingly difficult to photograph a stranger's pets without them realizing)
I followed Ewok dog all the way to Transylvania
Why does the entrance only have one turret? Answers on a postcard please.
Transylvania is otherwise known as Land of The White Coasters
(Hey look, I briefly turned into Lord Morton for a second and managed to take a decent photo!)
It's probably due to some stupid visual restrictions, but I like to believe that all the coasters are white to represent the snowy peaks of Transylvania.
Started the day on Flug Der Damonen. I remember following this rides construction with great excitement - that wonky pretzel loop! The Deamon theme! The IMAscore soundtrack! I couldn't believe it when it opened and people said that it was crap.
But alas, they were right. Apart from the tiny bit of airtime (which is thwarted by the awkward restraints) this coaster does nothing. It's very underwhelming. Such a shame. Such a waste of a demon theme
Didn't think I would be saying this, but The Swarm is million times better.
Here, I've summarized it on the Merlin-o-meter in handy Top Trump form
It's hard not to make these comparisons, when there's so many similar ride types among Merlin parks. In fact, I found even as I walked around Heide Park for the first time - I didn't really get that feeling of exploring. It all felt familiar already - the rides, the layout, the fonts, the merchandise.
Anywho. I love a good Transylvania theme, and this area is done rather well.
There was lots of garlic
Dilapidated buildings
And lots of demons.
Here are my Top 3 Demons from the area:
Then there's the giant drop tower Scream
And it's tiny little baby tower Screamie next to it, aw bless.
I love that they've made it look like a lamp post!
Rode Bobbahn next - if the name doesn't give it away, it's a bobsled coaster. Correction! It's THE BEST Bobsled coaster I've ever ridden. It picks up so much speed, and really flings you around. Plus is has a dark tunnel! Ended up re-riding it loads through out the day, it's just pure fun.
Got the two gross Vekoma's out of the way next. Limit - the SLC is the worst SLC I've ever ridden. It's horribly rough. It gave me a headache. Big Loop didn't do much to help - I bit my tongue on one of the utterly non-banked turns. Plus the quick succession of vertical loops made me feel all woozy. In the words of nadroJ "IT'S F****** S***!!"
[strike]Snog[/strike] [strike]Marry[/strike] AVOID
Wandered over to the other side of the park with the theory that Colossos would make everything better.
Oh boy. It did. <3
Just look at how fab it is!
I entertained myself in the queue by singing the Thorpe Park Colossus music, like a total goon.
Sat in the front on my first go. So much airtime! It's amazing. It really puts Balder and El Toro to shame. Immediately re-rode in the back - it's noticeably rougher, but still an enjoyable ride.
It totally trumps its British namesake
Here I am, in a state of post-Colossos sorbet-eating contentment
Lunch was a bit of a faff trying to find somewhere that had a better veggie option than just chips. Oh Merlin. Ended up going to a little Pita stall, where the ratio of falafel to salad in my pita was dissatisfying.
Then it was time to face my fears on Krake By The Lake
B+M Dive Machines terrify me. I mean, they're basically forward facing drop towers really. Something about the holding break and the plummeting sensation just really intimidates me.
Krake had the longest queue of the day, which didn't really help. By the time I sat in the train my hands were sweaty with nerves. But it was SO good! I've only ridden SheiKra, Oblivion and Krake, but Krake is by far my favourite. It just feels so much more complete, in terms of layout and theme. Staring down into the teeth of that mouth is really surreal. I adore the splash effect afterwards, because of the lake setting, it makes it look as though you have dove underwater when the train emerges from the hole.
And there's a little bonus airtime hill! Hooray! Top 10 material right there <3
Wandered around mopping up the rest of the creds and the water rides. Then this caught my eye...
What is Fahrhaus and why is it closed?! Answers on a postcard please.
Desert Race, like every launched Intamin (apart from Storm Runner) is awful. It's so similar to Rita that there wasn't even a point in comparing them Top Trumps style. One and done.
Rode some of the crap boat rides, then finished with some re-rides of Colossos, Krake and Bobbahn.
Heide Park is quite a nice park, but some of the themed areas are inconsistent. It has a couple of world class coasters (Colossos and Krake) but leans more towards 'bland' than 'magical' overall. The park would really benefit from a decent dark ride - perhaps a shooter like Dual at Alton Towers, to really capture the imagination of their visitors.
Unlike Hansa Park, I won't be rushing back to Heide Park anytime soon.
Thanks for reading my report, sorry for the poor quality phone-to's!
Bremen airport is lovely and small, meaning there was minimal faff between stepping off the plane and driving off in the hire car. Yay.
2 hours later I was appreciating an excellent view of Karnan from the road, before I even got to the park - you can see this thing from miles away! It's so beautiful <3 ...and so spiteful <//3 argh!
The entrance to Hansa Park is impressive in its oppressiveness
Immediately I was struck by how pretty this park is
If I ever get married...I think I want to do it here.
Anyway! My first coaster of this trip was destined to be my 300th. Unlike my previous milestones (100 - G-Force at Drayton, 200 - Vertigo at P.A.M.) I really wanted my 300th to actually be a decent coaster! So I headed straight for Fluch Von Novgorod - an amazingly-themed launched Eurofighter.
The ride entrance features gravestones, overgrown trees and animatronic scarecrows
The bird on his shoulder sings!
Then the queue goes indoors and it's pitch black inside <3
There were lots of skulls
The ride station has a big chandelier, it's lights flicker out as the train dispatches - such a nice little touch!
The first part of the coaster is all dark-ride-esque. You meander through a few dramatic scenes where a stone man comes to life and starts singing. Then another scene with a thing with a really ugly face. Water effects happen as you plunge down the vertical drop (which is equally as fab as Saw's) then POW! You are launched straight out the ride building without a moment to catch your breath. I can't believe how forceful that launch is! It was like being kicked in the chest (in a good way, of course) I've ridden quite a few Gerstlauer launches but this one is in a different league when it comes to power.
Then you plow straight into a fab airtime hill, followed by a funny overbanked element that looks a bit like a tongue, then a heartline roll - which tips you upside down over a footpath - the rides only interaction with the 'outside world' so to speak. Ahhh this coaster is so well thought out!
Then comes the second half. The train goes back into a dark enclosed building, where you can just about make out the imposing shadows of the vertical lift hill that awaits. As the train cranks up the lift, it stops; so you are leaning back staring at the lightning effect above. Then when you finally crest the beyond vertical drop, you plunge into an amazing strobe lighting effect. Then more airtime hills happen! In complete darkness! Yay! <3
The coaster finishes with a big scarecrow descending down upon the train from the ceiling. It made the majority of the people on my train scream - meaning the train enters the loading station with people on board screaming. Another excellent touch!
You get off the train, but, to quote Hex "the story doesn't end there". To get out of the ride building you have to go through a pitch black maze, which has several dead ends. It's very eerie and quite claustrophobic; and succeeds in maintaining the haunting atmosphere and tension of the ride experience right until you are in the gift shop.
Fluch Von Novgorod is the thing I'm always searching for - a perfect ride. The roller coaster elements are dynamic and forceful, alone they would be great enough as it is. But they are tied together with a story and themeing that heightens the tension and drama of the ride experience unbelievably well. Never has a vertical lift had as much impact as this one. Never has a beyond vertical drop felt as surreal as this one. Placing those elements indoors and in the middle of the ride gave them such impact and a great flow. Being a / (the only?) Gerstlauer fan, and a sucker for anything with a dark theme, I did enter Fluch Von Novgorod with high expectations - yet it still managed to go above and beyond (vertical).
If you haven't ridden this coaster yet, go ride it!
I'm rather pleased that my 300th is also my new number one coaster.
Obviously I did a celebratory Milestone photo:
I felt sad that Ian From Coasterforce wasn't there to shake my hand. So I Photoshopped him in when I got home
Speaking of Ian, Hansa had this fab Bell ride
It has an ornament that breathed fire next to it. I didn't manage to capture it on camera, so I've done an artistic interpretation of it in MS Paint
Next to the fab Bell ride sits this towering beauty
Otherwise know as
It's huge
It stretches on for miles
It was testing. <//3
I'm so gutted I didn't get to ride this coaster. It looks so unique and fast. The trains really fly through that faux-inversion, you know - the heart-not-a-line-but-still-a-roll.
The tower sure is ugly though!
Started mopping up the creds after watching Karnan testing for a bit. There was a Mack Mouse. Boring.
There's an amazing family coaster 'Die Schlange Von Midgard' - a ride themed to the Norse Mythology tale about the sea snake that dwells in Midgard. (I <3 Norse Mythology) It's brilliantly themed, with lots of great lift hill effects and it's suspended over water. The coaster is pretty snappy for a family friendly one too. The queue line has Runes all over the walls and these adorable crows in viking helmets
So cute!
The rest of the creds included this haggard old Schwarzkopf - with a kiddie cred that traverses through it's loop!
Lunch followed, had this delicious Basil Pesto pasta for only 4.90Euro!
It's rare to find a park that does good vegetarian options - let alone for a reasonable price too!
Spent the rest of the afternoon faffing with the 'Miscellaneous' rides, such as this interactive safari where you have to take photos of the animatronic animals to get points using a fake on board camera
And the award for Best Animatronic Hippos goes to...
So detailed!
This kids playground is metal as f***!
I love how Hansa Park use skulls everywhere!
Rode the two log flumes that sit next to each other...? Both were pretty rubbish. Then the tiredness was starting to set in, so grabbed a few re-rides on Fluch then headed back to the hotel in Hamburg.
Hansa Park is lovely. It's floral and picturesque, and every ride station looks like a mini castle. If visited on a fairly quiet day, it can easily be done in 4/5 hours. If Karnan turns out to be as good as it looks, then they are well on their way to having an excellent line up of rides too. Would highly recommend this park!
Day Two
I had made goony plans to get up nice and early to arrive at Heide Park before opening for maximum cred-time, then my snooze button happened. Oops. Bad goon! Luckily it was just a leisurely 40 minute drive to the park, so still got there with plenty of time.
I love how 90's the entrance looks:
The initial plan was to run over to Collosos straight away but I got distracted by a dog that looked like an Ewok! (Tried to take a photo but turns out it's surprisingly difficult to photograph a stranger's pets without them realizing)
I followed Ewok dog all the way to Transylvania
Why does the entrance only have one turret? Answers on a postcard please.
Transylvania is otherwise known as Land of The White Coasters
(Hey look, I briefly turned into Lord Morton for a second and managed to take a decent photo!)
It's probably due to some stupid visual restrictions, but I like to believe that all the coasters are white to represent the snowy peaks of Transylvania.
Started the day on Flug Der Damonen. I remember following this rides construction with great excitement - that wonky pretzel loop! The Deamon theme! The IMAscore soundtrack! I couldn't believe it when it opened and people said that it was crap.
But alas, they were right. Apart from the tiny bit of airtime (which is thwarted by the awkward restraints) this coaster does nothing. It's very underwhelming. Such a shame. Such a waste of a demon theme
Didn't think I would be saying this, but The Swarm is million times better.Here, I've summarized it on the Merlin-o-meter in handy Top Trump form
It's hard not to make these comparisons, when there's so many similar ride types among Merlin parks. In fact, I found even as I walked around Heide Park for the first time - I didn't really get that feeling of exploring. It all felt familiar already - the rides, the layout, the fonts, the merchandise.
Anywho. I love a good Transylvania theme, and this area is done rather well.
There was lots of garlic
Dilapidated buildings
And lots of demons.
Here are my Top 3 Demons from the area:
Then there's the giant drop tower Scream
And it's tiny little baby tower Screamie next to it, aw bless.
I love that they've made it look like a lamp post!
Rode Bobbahn next - if the name doesn't give it away, it's a bobsled coaster. Correction! It's THE BEST Bobsled coaster I've ever ridden. It picks up so much speed, and really flings you around. Plus is has a dark tunnel! Ended up re-riding it loads through out the day, it's just pure fun.
Got the two gross Vekoma's out of the way next. Limit - the SLC is the worst SLC I've ever ridden. It's horribly rough. It gave me a headache. Big Loop didn't do much to help - I bit my tongue on one of the utterly non-banked turns. Plus the quick succession of vertical loops made me feel all woozy. In the words of nadroJ "IT'S F****** S***!!"
[strike]Snog[/strike] [strike]Marry[/strike] AVOID
Wandered over to the other side of the park with the theory that Colossos would make everything better.
Oh boy. It did. <3
Just look at how fab it is!
I entertained myself in the queue by singing the Thorpe Park Colossus music, like a total goon.
Sat in the front on my first go. So much airtime! It's amazing. It really puts Balder and El Toro to shame. Immediately re-rode in the back - it's noticeably rougher, but still an enjoyable ride.
It totally trumps its British namesake
Here I am, in a state of post-Colossos sorbet-eating contentment
Lunch was a bit of a faff trying to find somewhere that had a better veggie option than just chips. Oh Merlin. Ended up going to a little Pita stall, where the ratio of falafel to salad in my pita was dissatisfying.
Then it was time to face my fears on Krake By The Lake
B+M Dive Machines terrify me. I mean, they're basically forward facing drop towers really. Something about the holding break and the plummeting sensation just really intimidates me.
Krake had the longest queue of the day, which didn't really help. By the time I sat in the train my hands were sweaty with nerves. But it was SO good! I've only ridden SheiKra, Oblivion and Krake, but Krake is by far my favourite. It just feels so much more complete, in terms of layout and theme. Staring down into the teeth of that mouth is really surreal. I adore the splash effect afterwards, because of the lake setting, it makes it look as though you have dove underwater when the train emerges from the hole.
And there's a little bonus airtime hill! Hooray! Top 10 material right there <3
Wandered around mopping up the rest of the creds and the water rides. Then this caught my eye...
What is Fahrhaus and why is it closed?! Answers on a postcard please.
Desert Race, like every launched Intamin (apart from Storm Runner) is awful. It's so similar to Rita that there wasn't even a point in comparing them Top Trumps style. One and done.
Rode some of the crap boat rides, then finished with some re-rides of Colossos, Krake and Bobbahn.
Heide Park is quite a nice park, but some of the themed areas are inconsistent. It has a couple of world class coasters (Colossos and Krake) but leans more towards 'bland' than 'magical' overall. The park would really benefit from a decent dark ride - perhaps a shooter like Dual at Alton Towers, to really capture the imagination of their visitors.
Unlike Hansa Park, I won't be rushing back to Heide Park anytime soon.
Thanks for reading my report, sorry for the poor quality phone-to's!
