HSGB=Haribo's Sugarless gummy bears
I'll tell you why in story form (this story is 100% true)
So one day me and a few friends went to a club. They're names (fake of course) are Alex (male), Sarah (female), and John (male). It was a sports club.
Once we got there we started to fool around (I got paprika in Alex's eyes (don't ask why I had paprika in a club)). We also had some beer and wings (I had soda, because I don't like beer). When we were done, we paid and got the hell out of here (according to a friend who was also at the bar a fight had broke out, so it was good we got out).
So Alex and John are really drunk, and were somehow tired from not doing much so I dropped them off at their house. Me and Sarah decide to stay over at her house (I can imagine a few of the people reading this are thinking I'm gonna get laid. Back then we liked each other but not like that).
On the way to my house we decide to stop at walmart. So we stop there and buy some things (choclate, soda, juice, lemon juice, doritos, etc). Tell me why I thought it was a good idea to get Haribo's SGB.
So we get to her house and we start fooling around, teasing each other, playing video games and having a all around good time. I decided to pour a bowl of those HSGB. So I eat about half of the bowl, as I love sweets (take note I poured them in one of those punch bowls you'd see at your sterotypical parties). So after about half an hour of playing co-op on halo 4, I start to hear a odd rumbling noise. I regard it as nothing until it starts to get louder. Sarah asks what it is and I say it's nothing with a nervous smile. Then the fart of death happened, followed with intense pain in my ass, and stomach. It was at that momment I knew I **** up.
I sprinted to my bathroom, took off my pants, and told Sarah I'd be back in a minute. And then it happened. I took a ****. Now the **** was a liquid red, and it was hot ass ****. It felt like satan shoved his dick up my ass, curved it so that the head of the penis was pointing at my anus and ejeaculated. It hurt. All throughout that shat, I was swearing in german. This painful **** lasted 12 mins. 12!! After the painful **** I was attempting to flush, but it was blocked. All of a sudden my stomach rumbled again and I sat down on that pooper faster than the flash can run, and took another painful ****, this time not as painful, but it lasted 24 **** minutes. Obviously I'm horrified, and was going to try to unblock the toilet but **** was spewing out of my ass, and I didn't feel like cleaning her new carpet. Once I'm done with **** #2, I poke my head out of the doorway and asked where the plunger was. Sarah said she doesn't have a plunger. I swear again, but this time in latin. I decide to leave the toilet as it is and wipe my ass (which hurt as well).
I came out of the bathroom clenching my ass, and when I saw Sarah had eaten the rest of the HSGB (both the rest of the bowl, and the bag), I grabbed the bottle of holy water her parents gave her (she didn't mind friends touching it), dipped my finger in it and drew a cross on Sarah's forehead while saying "May the lord be with you." She was confused and just laughed it off.
TL;DR Don't eat HSGB or you'll get explosive red hot diarhea.
I'll tell you why in story form (this story is 100% true)
So one day me and a few friends went to a club. They're names (fake of course) are Alex (male), Sarah (female), and John (male). It was a sports club.
Once we got there we started to fool around (I got paprika in Alex's eyes (don't ask why I had paprika in a club)). We also had some beer and wings (I had soda, because I don't like beer). When we were done, we paid and got the hell out of here (according to a friend who was also at the bar a fight had broke out, so it was good we got out).
So Alex and John are really drunk, and were somehow tired from not doing much so I dropped them off at their house. Me and Sarah decide to stay over at her house (I can imagine a few of the people reading this are thinking I'm gonna get laid. Back then we liked each other but not like that).
On the way to my house we decide to stop at walmart. So we stop there and buy some things (choclate, soda, juice, lemon juice, doritos, etc). Tell me why I thought it was a good idea to get Haribo's SGB.
So we get to her house and we start fooling around, teasing each other, playing video games and having a all around good time. I decided to pour a bowl of those HSGB. So I eat about half of the bowl, as I love sweets (take note I poured them in one of those punch bowls you'd see at your sterotypical parties). So after about half an hour of playing co-op on halo 4, I start to hear a odd rumbling noise. I regard it as nothing until it starts to get louder. Sarah asks what it is and I say it's nothing with a nervous smile. Then the fart of death happened, followed with intense pain in my ass, and stomach. It was at that momment I knew I **** up.
I sprinted to my bathroom, took off my pants, and told Sarah I'd be back in a minute. And then it happened. I took a ****. Now the **** was a liquid red, and it was hot ass ****. It felt like satan shoved his dick up my ass, curved it so that the head of the penis was pointing at my anus and ejeaculated. It hurt. All throughout that shat, I was swearing in german. This painful **** lasted 12 mins. 12!! After the painful **** I was attempting to flush, but it was blocked. All of a sudden my stomach rumbled again and I sat down on that pooper faster than the flash can run, and took another painful ****, this time not as painful, but it lasted 24 **** minutes. Obviously I'm horrified, and was going to try to unblock the toilet but **** was spewing out of my ass, and I didn't feel like cleaning her new carpet. Once I'm done with **** #2, I poke my head out of the doorway and asked where the plunger was. Sarah said she doesn't have a plunger. I swear again, but this time in latin. I decide to leave the toilet as it is and wipe my ass (which hurt as well).
I came out of the bathroom clenching my ass, and when I saw Sarah had eaten the rest of the HSGB (both the rest of the bowl, and the bag), I grabbed the bottle of holy water her parents gave her (she didn't mind friends touching it), dipped my finger in it and drew a cross on Sarah's forehead while saying "May the lord be with you." She was confused and just laughed it off.
TL;DR Don't eat HSGB or you'll get explosive red hot diarhea.
