So at one point last week me and a few workmates decided to go to Alton Towers for a laugh, and a laugh it was 
I'll warn you now I only took one photo all day so if you came to look at pictures, sorry!!
We rocked up at Alton about 10.30am after the Sat Nav took my mate down wierd country lanes which brought us right to the gate of Alton! So after the girls' 5th toilet stop of the journey (a trend which was due to continue throughout the day!) we hopped onto the Monorail and headed for the park. We got the Daisy Chain/Train which was boring... I wanted the pirate one
This was my first visit to the park since 2007 so I was quite excited to see the changes and really looking forward to it. By the time we bought our tickets it was about 11.15am so we were keen to get going and headed straight for Oblivion! After a ten minute queue we were on. The people in front of us really pissed us off, we were a group of five and and they were a two, and they sat in the middle of the row on Oblivion??? Meaning our group was split, the doyles. Anyway up the lift hill the ride went and this ride was just as **** awesome as I remember it. Completely forgot about the mist as well which caught me by surprise! On the on-ride photo section the two people who sat in the middle had sat in seats 4/5 so their ORP wasn't togethor... ha serves them right!
After Oblivion we headed for Rita but both Rita and Th13teen had 35 minute queues so we got the Skyride over to Forbidden Valley as Nemesis had a 0min queue and Air a 10 minute queue.
By the time we got to Nemesis it had developed a ten minute queue which was no biggy. All the water was in its blood/ribena coloured glory and the beast was running like a dream as usual (although the lift hill noise is getting a bit deafening!). No music on though in the station. After that we were **** starving so went to the Fish & Chip shop where we subsequently got caught out by the vouchers which were handed out to us at the entrance. The cashier was delighted to inform us that yes the 20% discount DOES apply in this particular restaurant, then preceded to turn the voucher over and piss on our parade by pointing out the fact it doesn't apply between 12:00 and 15:00. Thanks very much for that "Ghana". Anyway, I got the last laugh because my fish was two fish that had got fried togethor in the batter... WHALE AND CHIPS FOR PETEY HERE!
So whats the most common sense thing to do after eating Whale and Chips and washing it down with a gallon of Coke?? Go on Air of course!! (Seriously don't know whos idea this was but they want shooting!).
Anyway, Air sitll had a 0 min queue so we got straight on pretty much, when the seats tipped back and put us in the flying position I could immediately feel my stomach thinking "come on Pete what the hell are you playing at man?!" ... to make things worse, some clever arses got their camera out on the lift hill... of course the obligatory E-Stop came along and the ride op came to confiscate the camera. Upon his descent he made everyone aware of why it was stopped and just kept shouting "BLAME ROW 1!". The girls we were with started shouting such obscenities as "Row 1 you're **** going down... **** Row 1 ya pack of ****" etcetera etcetera. The ride itself was a lot faster than I remember, and seemed smoother, especially on the 'lie' parts it used to feel really rattly but it was fine! Improved opinion of it, maybe it was upping its game to win some votes in the latest competition?
After this a couple of the guys did Blade, anyone who knows me will know I can't be arsed with Pirate Ships so naturally sat out of this one and wasted a couple of quid in the fruities in THE EDGE - INTERACTIVE GAMES. I lost... then gamblers luck struck for the beginner... my mate who doesn't play fruities put a quid in and won £5 (the jackpot) off his first spin... twat.
We wandered off towards the gloomy wood area and naturally I insisted we rode Duel. This was again a walk on... I dominated with a score of 40 something thousand! Thankfully it wasn't Scarefest time so there was no people waiting at the exit to frighten the life out of me this time!
After Duel we headed to the rapids, longest queue of the day so far, a whopping 15 minutes! We didn't really get wet but did get thrown about a lot... one point I nearly jumped seats it bumped that far. I excitedly waved to the Runaway Mine Train passengers as they passed in the tunnel. It was the first time I had seen the rapids gift shop since it had changed to all the wild animals and stuff and it looked really nice! I thought I was in Flamingo Land for a moment!
The Rapids were followed by the Log Flume which promptly took over longest queue of the day with 25 minutes! I knew the front got the wettest so immediately bagged the back while one of the girls got the front. After the first drop she was in a really good mood enjoying the ride, pretending to be driving the boat with an imaginary steering wheel. After the second and third drop she was **** soaked and her face was like thunder. I decided not to tell her I knew that would happen...
As she was soaking we agreed she could choose the next ride and she demanded we did Th13teen, which worked well for me as I really wanted to do it too... so we walked down by the Battle Galleons... first time I had seen this and it looks really smart! In fact it was hard to imagine the lake without it to be honest.
When entering the queue for Th13teen I heard a sudden ruffle by the fence which made me jump! I looked back and it was a SQUIRREL... in a BIN.
Hello Cheeky Squirrel!
Anyway, Th13teen had a 20 minute queue and we were soon on. First ride on this so didn't know what to expect from most of it. Thought the first drop was great but the rest of that section was a bit pointless/dull. Now I knew there was a drop in the building but I just didn't know how fast/sudden it was or how high the drop was. I was sat with anticipation just waiting then it dropped a little with the loud air compressor noise which made me **** myself, followed by the drop itself! The backwards part was also brilliant, I didn't expect it to run so fast through that section! Overall really good ride although I fear the novelty of it would wear thin with a few rides.
Up next, Rita:QoS... 15 minute queue... some bloke lost his wallet on the netting and loads of paper fell out into the queue (some of it looked like notes so someone actually got money rained onto them!). As we were in the queue for this a real heavy rain shower hit... we'd just got to the point under the launch track when the announcer came on... "Please note that due to the current weather conditions..." everyone in the queue was saying oh **** sake! .... "... that riding Rita may prove to be uncomfortable for some, if you do not wish to ride Rita in the rain please step aside and let people in front of you." AWESOME. By the time we got on it had stopped raining too. Launch was as great as I remember and the cornering felt even better, normally my neck breaks against the OTSR's but it was brilliant.
On the way back, Hex was a walk-on so we did this for the couple who had never been on it before. Forgot how good the storyline to this was actually. The ride itself is still gash though.
Everyone had had enough by this point but we agreed to do a couple of rides then shoot off. We re-rode Oblivion which now had a 0 min queue (it would seem that rain shower whilst on Rita sent everyone home as the only rides which had a queue time on the boards was Charlie as it had been closed all day, and spinball (naturally). As we were about to join the queue some mug had been caught with a camera again so the ride was stopped and the poor ride op trekked to the top to retrieve it off them.
Oblivion was done again followed by a quick KFC stop then a walk through the Alton gardens back to the Forbidden Valley. We rode Air as the girls preferred to do that over Nemesis and all agreed that enough was enough. Some Donuts and Ice Creams were purchased and the Skyride was embarked upon towards the park entrance.
On the way out, the staff were handing out free bags of mini party rings to everyone which was an absolute bonus. However the reason was soon evident... the monorail had broken down! we had to walk to the car park however I have to admit, the walk with Party Rings made it a bit more bearable!
All in all had a great day, couldn't believe how quiet the park was for a Sunday in August. Few points to cover below which I didn't write into the report;
- Can't believe photos are £8 each now!!
- Food was a lot cheaper than I expected, Whale & Chips & Large Drink only £7.25. There was also a load of cheap Nestlé chocolate they were selling off at 2 for £1.
- The current advertising campaign about the resorts best ever ride was all over the park and was brilliant. Loved the banners everywhere and the staff wearing politician like ribbons... the cheesy banners such as "AIR - FACE DOWN WINNER".
- Not sure if this was possible before but nice touch to be able to buy car park tokens at the ticket booth and gift shops.
- Staff were great, asking if we'd had a nice day and a bit of banter between guests. Throughput on all rides were impeccable as is the Alton way!
Ride Count for people who can't be arsed reading.
Oblivion x2
Air x2
Nemesis x1
Rita x1
Th13teen x1
Rapids x1
Flume x1
Hex x1
Duel x1
Blade for some people x1
:--D
I'll warn you now I only took one photo all day so if you came to look at pictures, sorry!!
We rocked up at Alton about 10.30am after the Sat Nav took my mate down wierd country lanes which brought us right to the gate of Alton! So after the girls' 5th toilet stop of the journey (a trend which was due to continue throughout the day!) we hopped onto the Monorail and headed for the park. We got the Daisy Chain/Train which was boring... I wanted the pirate one
This was my first visit to the park since 2007 so I was quite excited to see the changes and really looking forward to it. By the time we bought our tickets it was about 11.15am so we were keen to get going and headed straight for Oblivion! After a ten minute queue we were on. The people in front of us really pissed us off, we were a group of five and and they were a two, and they sat in the middle of the row on Oblivion??? Meaning our group was split, the doyles. Anyway up the lift hill the ride went and this ride was just as **** awesome as I remember it. Completely forgot about the mist as well which caught me by surprise! On the on-ride photo section the two people who sat in the middle had sat in seats 4/5 so their ORP wasn't togethor... ha serves them right!
After Oblivion we headed for Rita but both Rita and Th13teen had 35 minute queues so we got the Skyride over to Forbidden Valley as Nemesis had a 0min queue and Air a 10 minute queue.
By the time we got to Nemesis it had developed a ten minute queue which was no biggy. All the water was in its blood/ribena coloured glory and the beast was running like a dream as usual (although the lift hill noise is getting a bit deafening!). No music on though in the station. After that we were **** starving so went to the Fish & Chip shop where we subsequently got caught out by the vouchers which were handed out to us at the entrance. The cashier was delighted to inform us that yes the 20% discount DOES apply in this particular restaurant, then preceded to turn the voucher over and piss on our parade by pointing out the fact it doesn't apply between 12:00 and 15:00. Thanks very much for that "Ghana". Anyway, I got the last laugh because my fish was two fish that had got fried togethor in the batter... WHALE AND CHIPS FOR PETEY HERE!
So whats the most common sense thing to do after eating Whale and Chips and washing it down with a gallon of Coke?? Go on Air of course!! (Seriously don't know whos idea this was but they want shooting!).
Anyway, Air sitll had a 0 min queue so we got straight on pretty much, when the seats tipped back and put us in the flying position I could immediately feel my stomach thinking "come on Pete what the hell are you playing at man?!" ... to make things worse, some clever arses got their camera out on the lift hill... of course the obligatory E-Stop came along and the ride op came to confiscate the camera. Upon his descent he made everyone aware of why it was stopped and just kept shouting "BLAME ROW 1!". The girls we were with started shouting such obscenities as "Row 1 you're **** going down... **** Row 1 ya pack of ****" etcetera etcetera. The ride itself was a lot faster than I remember, and seemed smoother, especially on the 'lie' parts it used to feel really rattly but it was fine! Improved opinion of it, maybe it was upping its game to win some votes in the latest competition?
After this a couple of the guys did Blade, anyone who knows me will know I can't be arsed with Pirate Ships so naturally sat out of this one and wasted a couple of quid in the fruities in THE EDGE - INTERACTIVE GAMES. I lost... then gamblers luck struck for the beginner... my mate who doesn't play fruities put a quid in and won £5 (the jackpot) off his first spin... twat.
We wandered off towards the gloomy wood area and naturally I insisted we rode Duel. This was again a walk on... I dominated with a score of 40 something thousand! Thankfully it wasn't Scarefest time so there was no people waiting at the exit to frighten the life out of me this time!
After Duel we headed to the rapids, longest queue of the day so far, a whopping 15 minutes! We didn't really get wet but did get thrown about a lot... one point I nearly jumped seats it bumped that far. I excitedly waved to the Runaway Mine Train passengers as they passed in the tunnel. It was the first time I had seen the rapids gift shop since it had changed to all the wild animals and stuff and it looked really nice! I thought I was in Flamingo Land for a moment!
The Rapids were followed by the Log Flume which promptly took over longest queue of the day with 25 minutes! I knew the front got the wettest so immediately bagged the back while one of the girls got the front. After the first drop she was in a really good mood enjoying the ride, pretending to be driving the boat with an imaginary steering wheel. After the second and third drop she was **** soaked and her face was like thunder. I decided not to tell her I knew that would happen...
As she was soaking we agreed she could choose the next ride and she demanded we did Th13teen, which worked well for me as I really wanted to do it too... so we walked down by the Battle Galleons... first time I had seen this and it looks really smart! In fact it was hard to imagine the lake without it to be honest.
When entering the queue for Th13teen I heard a sudden ruffle by the fence which made me jump! I looked back and it was a SQUIRREL... in a BIN.
Hello Cheeky Squirrel!
Anyway, Th13teen had a 20 minute queue and we were soon on. First ride on this so didn't know what to expect from most of it. Thought the first drop was great but the rest of that section was a bit pointless/dull. Now I knew there was a drop in the building but I just didn't know how fast/sudden it was or how high the drop was. I was sat with anticipation just waiting then it dropped a little with the loud air compressor noise which made me **** myself, followed by the drop itself! The backwards part was also brilliant, I didn't expect it to run so fast through that section! Overall really good ride although I fear the novelty of it would wear thin with a few rides.
Up next, Rita:QoS... 15 minute queue... some bloke lost his wallet on the netting and loads of paper fell out into the queue (some of it looked like notes so someone actually got money rained onto them!). As we were in the queue for this a real heavy rain shower hit... we'd just got to the point under the launch track when the announcer came on... "Please note that due to the current weather conditions..." everyone in the queue was saying oh **** sake! .... "... that riding Rita may prove to be uncomfortable for some, if you do not wish to ride Rita in the rain please step aside and let people in front of you." AWESOME. By the time we got on it had stopped raining too. Launch was as great as I remember and the cornering felt even better, normally my neck breaks against the OTSR's but it was brilliant.
On the way back, Hex was a walk-on so we did this for the couple who had never been on it before. Forgot how good the storyline to this was actually. The ride itself is still gash though.
Everyone had had enough by this point but we agreed to do a couple of rides then shoot off. We re-rode Oblivion which now had a 0 min queue (it would seem that rain shower whilst on Rita sent everyone home as the only rides which had a queue time on the boards was Charlie as it had been closed all day, and spinball (naturally). As we were about to join the queue some mug had been caught with a camera again so the ride was stopped and the poor ride op trekked to the top to retrieve it off them.
Oblivion was done again followed by a quick KFC stop then a walk through the Alton gardens back to the Forbidden Valley. We rode Air as the girls preferred to do that over Nemesis and all agreed that enough was enough. Some Donuts and Ice Creams were purchased and the Skyride was embarked upon towards the park entrance.
On the way out, the staff were handing out free bags of mini party rings to everyone which was an absolute bonus. However the reason was soon evident... the monorail had broken down! we had to walk to the car park however I have to admit, the walk with Party Rings made it a bit more bearable!
All in all had a great day, couldn't believe how quiet the park was for a Sunday in August. Few points to cover below which I didn't write into the report;
- Can't believe photos are £8 each now!!
- Food was a lot cheaper than I expected, Whale & Chips & Large Drink only £7.25. There was also a load of cheap Nestlé chocolate they were selling off at 2 for £1.
- The current advertising campaign about the resorts best ever ride was all over the park and was brilliant. Loved the banners everywhere and the staff wearing politician like ribbons... the cheesy banners such as "AIR - FACE DOWN WINNER".
- Not sure if this was possible before but nice touch to be able to buy car park tokens at the ticket booth and gift shops.
- Staff were great, asking if we'd had a nice day and a bit of banter between guests. Throughput on all rides were impeccable as is the Alton way!
Ride Count for people who can't be arsed reading.
Oblivion x2
Air x2
Nemesis x1
Rita x1
Th13teen x1
Rapids x1
Flume x1
Hex x1
Duel x1
Blade for some people x1
:--D
