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Alton towers 10/08/21 - A dismal birthday

Changa

Mega Poster
We went to AT for my dads birthday as its been a while, he wanted to reride Nemesis & try out Wicker Man. We hoped that a midweek day would offset the summer crowds slightly as the parents would still be at work... this was a mistake.

The park was open 10-7 which was a nice surprise as we were expecting to be done at 4pm after our 3rd ride, though in the end we were worn out and fed up by 6 so went home to beat the crowds.

After some debate on where to start our day, we dash to Nemesis to take advantage of a 25 minute queue. 35 minutes of queueing later, we wait another 10 minutes for the front row and its every bit as awesome as it's always been. The back row might be a bit more forceful but doesn't compare to seeing everything that you are about to crash into before each pull up/down/around. When this inevitably hits the end of its service life, I really think the best thing that the park could do is rebuild it as is with a more detailed take on the theme.

Galactica had much too long of a wait to justify so we grabbed hotdogs & refil cups then took the skyride (30+ minute wait) to Oblivion. 45 minutes of queueing later and we get a backrow ride, a bit disappointing but still a badass ride nevertheless. It reinforced my opinion that it is the best alternative to a drop tower they could get while fitting in with the regulations.

Over to wicker man as the posted queue time had gone down to 50 mins. By this point were were going a bit mad waiting under the sun & with all the crowds. After 90 minutes of queueing, we get to baggage only to find that the preshow was off. Presumably this was a carryover from covod, but it was a real gut punch as it is such a fun part of the whole experience. We were assigned to the middle rows but the ride was still fun. Whatever the maintenance teams have being doing over the winters is paying off as it was still very comfortable, but rattly enough to add to the chaos.

Our final ride was The Smiler, with an 80 minute posted queue time, which ended up being 105 thanks to 30 minutes of ops nearly stacking 4 trains. This was the most unpleasant queueing experience I've ever had. The sun was beating down, the ride has lots of screechy spots that need oiling, and the fully caged, cramped, unshaded queue with no way of knowing how far through you are is just unbearable. The ride itself is still awesome, but we were so drained after the queue that we barely noticed it going by. They desperately need to reroute it so you can tell where you are, have an easy exit, raise the caged ceilings by a foot so it isn't as claustrophobic, and use the area behind the ride for one long path like wickerman to soak up most of the line. I get that it theoretically adds to the theme to have people in cages feeding into the Ministry of joy, but it is not worth such an uncomfortable wait that got to the point where I was desperately watching the trains to gauge the operations. After this, we got a chicken burger, one more refill then bolted. Not even bothering with the monorail either way.

Now for a classic merlin rant. In the past, AT has really felt like their flagship to show off how good a park can be while Thorpe park is the cheapest cash cow. Now, they're not even subtle that you are just there to be squeezed dry of all of your money without any care in the world towards the experience. The whole park has gone from feeling genuinely quite magical to tacky. All of the buildings that aren't stations are either corrugated sheds or wooden boxes with advertisements all over them for upcharges in and around the park. There are neglected areas and abandoned buildings throughout the park (especially all of the queue shops & vending machines). Paths and queues were full of litter, as queue bins dont seem to be a thing anymore. Toilets were either partially or completely closed, with the open ones having queues and being absolutely filthy with broken soap dispensers. Every refill station had only one of 3 machines working. The cups (which have gone from £10 to £15 since I last got one, or £11 if you buy 3) have NFC chips to limit how much you can get. You can only fill it 3/4 full once every 10 minutes and it cuts off if you try to fill it up to the top. Reusing it used to be free with the cost of the original cup, but its £8 per day to "reactivate" it. I'd say by the end of the day we cost them 50p worth of drink syrup.

Regarding food, we were daft enough to not bring food in (idk if they check for it at the entrance). The bog-standard rollover hotdog was £5.50 (£2 for the same thing in co-op); an anaemic beefburger is £6, and the worst chicken burger i have ever had by itself is £5 at the former kfc in x sector. The quality of the food overall was shockingly bad at any price, let alone £8.50 for a meal. The final expense was the £6 parking ticket, where we were told by 2 people that the self service kiosks were off and to go to the booths... which had 1 person working in it to process tickets, causing another 15 minute wait before the traffic jam.


The queue times themselves could only have been helped to an extent. Its safe to say that a good few of the rides aren't programmed to run at their max capacity to ease maintenance. But the attendants were blitzing dispatched for the most part: Double station on Oblivion, and the Wicker man crew was consistently putting a train on the lift hill just before the last train even hit the brakes. Though all of the workers on the rides and especially in the shops looked miserable, which reflects the whole park now. No one was excited in the queues to ride the rides; No one seemed happy to work there; Merlin have cut back so much and replaced it with so many in your face upcharges that its lost all of the enjoyment it once had. By the time we were leaving, we all felt like we had just paid to be squeezed of every penny we had; not that we had been to an amusement park. The park still has the infrastructure to be incredible. They could change the operating procedures and tidy up the park overnight if they cares at all about positive investments.

I'll probably go again in a few months to show my gf the other main rides and so she can enjoy the gardens. But in its current state, the park is a dismal experience. Feel free to slam me for anything I said as this has been stewing for 2 days now!
 
Ohh this makes me so sad... I went only in July and we had a lovely day (and I'm the first to criticise Merlin), I'm sorry it was such a dud for you :(
 
Sorry you didn't have a great day, I feel some of your pain from my own visits, but just a couple of tips for future reference...

Regarding food, we were daft enough to not bring food in (idk if they check for it at the entrance).
They don't, because you're allowed to take your own food to all Merlin parks :)


The final expense was the £6 parking ticket, where we were told by 2 people that the self service kiosks were off
You can buy same-day parking online from the website if you want to save queueing, but my recommendation would always be to get your parking ticket on the way in ;)

Oh, and never, ever go in the school holidays :D
 
It's an unfortunate reality that at the moment, companies which rely on customer facing roles are in a rather tricky stranglehold with Covid-19 self isolation procedures which still have to be enforced. It means that in example, theme parks, are stretched thin on workers if there's any contact with Covid. If Covid reaches into a team, anyone who worked within close proximity of a member who gets Covid needs to isolate for 10 days, positive or negative. The sorry outcome of this is poor work rotations, constant understaffing, and regular ride closures, whilst perfectly fit workers have to sit at home and twiddle their thumbs whilst they take unpaid time out of work; not much of this can be helped quickly considering the long training hours rides require and the humongous influx on staff that would be needed to properly deal with it all. Morale is low because of a lack of workers already, and that's only increased by that fact that workers who can still turn up for a shift are stretched so thinly that they are just not having a typical day at work because of the vicious cycle that poor staffing at parks causes.

Limited workers means more problems come up > those problems take longer to deal with because of limited workers > more problems arise because a worker has to attend a previous problem rather than being attentive to their typical role.

I have sympathy for both theme park workers and guests at the moment. Theoretically this summer should be a prime time to visit as parks still haven't gone back to their full capacity and restrictions have been largely relaxed - however internal staffing problems - at no fault of merlins, or any business for that matter - are screwing the whole work dynamic and guest experience up even more than usual.

Hopefully when you revisit in a few months you have a much better experience. Personally my last 2 trips to towers (which have both been during Covid) have been my best 2 trips ever to the park. Fingers crossed when you revisit you experience something similar!
 
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