X Factor UK 2012

[Mark]

Yes boys and girls, its that time again!

What did you think of the first show? Who did you love and who did you hate?

I daresay this topic might become a little heated but hey, whats X Factor without a bit of bitching?

(PS... Please don't just come into to say how much you hate the show - coz that is just dull and predictable )

Jahmene was my personal favourite for this show. I am not sure whether he will maintain it though.

I kinda love Rylan a bit too... He wasn't the best, but he has a real entertaining quality about him... I would like to see him hone the vocal a bit though. He is blates this years comedy fun act.

Oh and I effing hated the version of Rule The World. Those of you who were at the wedding will understand why!

 

[Pierre]

Ill watch it to support James Arthur as he's from round here. Probably wont bother after that.

Union J were the worst tonight.

 

[Ben]

Jahmene is the worst creature of all time.

Haven't watched tonight's yet, but, URGH. SO VILE <///3

 

[Mark]

Jahmene is the worst creature of all time.

Haven't watched tonight's yet, but, URGH. SO VILE <///3

So you haven't seen the show tonight but think he is vile? How so?

 

[Ben]

Jahmene is the worst creature of all time.

Haven't watched tonight's yet, but, URGH. SO VILE <///3

So you haven't seen the show tonight but think he is vile? How so?

I've seen the rest of the series leading up to this point?

Any man that's such a wet blanket who squeals his way through songs, is vile.

 

[Mark]

Fair enough. He does need to cut back on the over singing this is true but vocally he was probably the better act tonight. At least top 3.

 

[Jake]

I'll start by saying that I really don't like X Factor anymore. The format of the show, the judges, basically everything isn't as fab as it used to be. I still watch it though, so can't really bitch about it too much!

Groups

This is probably the worst set of groups, ever.

District 3 - Ugh. Absolutely dire... can't be bothered to and don't need to explain why.

MK1 - The guy is quite good at rapping, but that's pretty much it. I can't STAND the dyke though. I just want to slap her in the face for some reason. They're blates going to do the same thing every week too...

Union J - I've always hated the prepubescent boy bands we get every year. They just think they're so cool, made worse by all the 12 year old girls screaming about how 'hot' they are. Vile. A couple of them REALLY can't sing either (as much as I hate one direction, at least they can sort of sing). They also tie their hoodies up with the strings at the top, which should be a capital offense.

Boys

James - He's got a good voice, but I thought the song drowned him out a bit tonight. The rapping bit was actually better than the singing bit, which took me by suprise. I'm sick to my back teeth of the whole 'I'm ugly, I haven't got any confidence but I'm still going on a TV show and singing infront of millions of people' thing. BOLLOCKS. He obviously thinks he's somewhat stylish or he wouldn't have the tats and stuff.

Rylan - It's nice to have a 'fun' act to spice things up a bit, but I honestly think he's the worst creature of them all. SO irritating, SO fake and is obviously just there to be on TV. The reaction to him being put through to the lives was just ridiculous. Such a vile fag <///3.

Jahmene - Awww. He suprised me tonight actually, but I agree about the oversinging. Hopefully he hasn't peaked already... but yeah, one of the best of the night.


Overs

Melanie - Aside from the typical 'I really miss my kids, it's so hard to be away from them' bollocks, she's actually pretty fierce. She's got a fab voice and I'm looking forward to seeing her again <3.

Carolynn - Really, really bad song choice. Starships is in that awkward phase where it's just about died from the charts and everyone is sick of it now. In a year or so, maybe, but NOT now. She's just proof that there isn't as much talent out there now - if she was that good she'd have got through last time!

Kye - Very in the middle really. Not bad, but again, nothing really stands out. I can't even remember which song he did...

Christopher - Decentish performance, but as a person he annoys me. The reaction he gave was completely fake and OTT, and he's frankly too gay and orange to function.

Girls

Jade - One of the biggest let downs of the night. She looked amazing, but the performance was pretty weak. It sounded like she just couldn't be bothered...

Ella - I think she's the best singer out of them all, although wasn't crazy about the decision to do a Take That song. Not too bothered though, she's blatently getting really far anyway.

Lucy - UGH. Another Kate Nash/Lily Allen wannabe who is about 5 years too late. She puts on that stupid voice which REALLY grates on me... What's she going to do next week, and the week after? They defo should have put that fat troll with no eyes through instead of her.

 

[Mark]

Oooo. Agreed on Lucy... Its all very well being a great songwriter but its not really gonna do her any good with the artist themed rounds. Unless they aren't going to bother with those anymore?

Perhaps X Factor is evolving and actually encouraging singer/songwriters to get in on it. Would certainly be a refreshing way to do the show. I would love to see a show that welcomes that. The last one I remember was Fame Academy and it was cack!

 

[Ben]

OK, just seen that vile, disgusting CREATURE doing Imagine.

Urgghhh.

He's one of the absolute worst sort of singers, like, Jessie J, who just do vocal runs and nothing else. Remember when that song had a tune, a melody? Yeah, no, he's just going to randomly squeal notes and hope some of them sound vaguely like the ones in the song. And you can just hear how wet he is through that horrid tone he has. Urgh. He's like a bargain bin version of Marcus Collins. And he was putrid enough to start with!

Ella on the other hand was amazing.

 

[Mark]

Was Ella the bint that ruined Rule The World? I completely disagreed with Gary, she did NOT sing it better than him and considering I havent ever particularly liked him, that is saying something...

 

[Ben]

^Did you see her do Believe at bootcamp? That was when I fell in love with her.

And obviously she didn't do it better than Gary. Noone in the history of anything ever has ever done anything better than Gary.

Lets just take a moment to remind ourselves of this picture...

 

[Ethan]

I hate him. He's a tit. But dayumm...

 

[Jake]

I probably wouldn't say no, but vom, he's such a tosser. Eugh.

 

[gavin]

Groups

Generally just **** ing awful. They should've kept the slightly "older" boyband in. There's no need for two groups of prepubescents, plus two of them were fit as ****.

District 3: Can't stand them. Especially the punchable one who over-Americanises every **** ing word he sings.

MK1: Dyke can't sing. Rapper is mediocre at best.

Union J: Primark sale version of One Direction.

Boys

Another weak group in my opinion.

James: Can't stand him. Have a bath, love, and stop pulling on the neck of your T shirts; you're going to wreck them and you'll be back in the bedsit and needing them in a few weeks.

Rylan: He's dire, but I totally LOVE him. It's all a bit predictable, as always, though. In a couple of weeks, he'll still be in, amidst OUTRAGE, will do a "heartfelt" song, and Gary will "change his mind".

Jahmene: Can't decide whether I like him or if I gets on my tits. His first audition was great, but he's done nothing even approaching that since, including tonight.


Overs

Might be in with a chance this year.

Melanie: Great voice, but a bit **** ing sick of the Janice Joplin tribute act now. Get her to do something else.

Carolynn: Love her. Horrendous version of a song that everyone's sick of, including me and I love it.

Kye: He's very good. Something's not gelling with me though. I don't know what it is, but he just seems like a bit of a c**t.

Christopher: Yuck. Just a vile, over-tanned, over-dramatic queen. It's ok with Rylan since he's a lot younger and seems quite self-deprecating about the whole "persona", but this guy's just too old to pull it off.

Girls

A diamond stuck in a dog turd.

Jade: Who? Turn the echo off and look like you want to be there. You're "doing it for your little girl" remember (who you won't see for months if you get to the top ten because of the tour, so, yeah, stop pretending).

Ella: Fantastic. Top 3 easily. Even **** IN' CHER loves her.

Lucy: What's that smell? Oh, it's over-rated crap! Apparently she's written over 200 songs. Judging by the ones we've heard so far, that's 200 songs that all sound the same: a butch Victoria Wood with a guitar instead of a piano.

 

[Mark]

Ben, that picture didn't help. Eurgh. The pecs look all wrong lol. Like I say, he did look rather handsome on Jonathan Ross tonight.

Anyways, I haven't even got a decent guess as to who is getting the chop tommorow.

 

[Jake]

For bottom two I'm going to say Carolynne and maybe Kye? It's hard to tell at this stage, but even though I think the groups are a LOT worse, they'll still probably get more votes. Everyone else has some sort of sob story or 'edgy' aspect to them which will attract additional votes too.

I can't really see who's going to vote for Carolynne especially. Blokes don't really vote, and I can't see girls liking her that much. Older women are probably more likely to vote for Melanie I think.

If Carolynne is in the bottom 2 I'm pretty sure she's going. She had her second chance and pretty much blew it, so yeah.

It does get easier to guess the further along it gets, but I'll throw that in for now.

 

[gavin]

Carolynne and Jade I reckon, though the worst were the two boy bands.

 

[nealbie]

Ella did a fab rendition of Rule The World! I was VERY sceptical of it when I heard the chords begin and realise what was about to happen, but other than one unfortunate choke it was a great, solid cover. Although I do think Gary was just being polite for the camera. It was good, but it wasn't Take That.

Carolynnennnennnn was pretty good, but I can't see where her votes are going to come from. Melanie's vocal <3<3<3

Jalfrezi needs to f-off though, although not quite as much as Chris, who again doesn't need to f-off quite as much as Rylan. I mean. WTF?! Louis' quote of "that was almost very Cleopatra" made me LOL though - but what planet does he live on? I want to spend a day as Louis Walsh because I want to hear what he does when he listens to music!

And as for the groups, I'm going to pretend they don't exist. Anyone not mentioned was clearly too boring to bother commenting on.

 

[Ben]

Caught up...

Groups

District 3: Yeah, these are dreadful. And how come when they were picking the name noone went "uh, you do realise that's from the Hunger Games, right?" Although it did lead to me sitting yelling at the tele "let the odds be EVER in your favour", which was fun.

MK1: LOVE THEM. So chavvy and amazing. Yes, they're a less good N-Dubz, but, they're still fierce.

Union J: Urgh. Plus it does my OCD in how three of their names start with J and then one with G. UGH.

Boys

James: I secretly like him. The rapping was really good, and I would sort of maybe do him a bit. Not a fave, but, not the worst.

Rylan: Love him. Love him. Love him.

Jahmene: Worst creature of them all.

Overs

Melanie: She has a great voice, but, I felt it was a little drowned out last night by everything else that was going on. Not sure how now the whole hippie thing is, but, we'll see.

Carolynn: Think she's totally amazing. Great country version of one of the least country songs out there, great styling, she's just great. Love her for the same reasons I love a bit of Shania.

Kye: He's OK. Not the best singer and needs to tone down the eye make-up, this is not a club, but, yeah, he's OK.

Christopher: Horrid, horrid, horrid. You can see the AIDs dripping off him, and his "Nan" is the biggest c*nt there is. Why do they let dirty Scouses on the show?

Girls

Jade: You're not Cher, bitch, lose the echo. Agree she looked really bored yesterday, and her kid is ugly as ****. She's a dyke though, so, +1 for that.

Ella: By far the best. If it was to end now, by far and above the winner. But, lets see how she continues. To say last night was flawless was a lie though, that bum note...

Lucy: LOVE her so much as well. I love the whole Kate Nash/Lily Allen can't-actually-sing-but-put-on-a-London-accent vibe, and I just love her. Her songs are great, and if any of them were to bring out an album, I'd want it to be hers.

I actually think it's a pretty good group this year. And Gary's still hot as ever.

 

[Ian]

Can never watch X Factor live, have to Sky+ it and skip the hours of adverts so I watched it this morning. (Plus I was at a beer festival last night, just throwing a bit of manliness in here.)

I have to agree with Ben. Jahmene really gets my goat. The way he looks, sings, talks and generally acts like a numpty winds me up. I can't stand the way he pulls that strained face when he squawks a high/extended note. I dislike the way he giggles after every sentence he says. I hate his painted on hair. I hate the way his head looks really large compared to his midget-like body. I'm sure he's a nice bloke, but hey, this is X Factor so I'm going to judge the contestants on the few minutes I've seen them on telly. It's easy to take an instant dislike to somebody, especially when they're Jahmene. I'm tone deaf but I swear his nerves made him deliver the wrong note quite frequently.

I quite like Melanie and Lucy but I think they will get boring. Melanie will dress as a hippy every week and screech out the big notes. Lucy's songs will get tiresome, they're not suited to the X Factor karaoke theme.

There's that one from Union J who has a strange bit between his eyebrows. I can't stop staring at it when he's on. They were by far the worst on yesterday's show.

Carolynn is fit but she seemed awkward on last nights show. She comes across of a bit of a try hard though.

Really like Ella. Her voice is amazing. She owned the stage last night, made that song her own and all the other clichés. I even managed to ignore her massive mouth during last nights performance.

As for the rest of them - forgettable.