New coaster for SFMM!

[madhjsp]

How did we miss the construction updates on this one?

VALENCIA, CA—Promoting the coaster as "the most heartbreaking ride on earth," the Six Flags Magic Mountain theme park unveiled its newest attraction this week: a 395-foot-tall steel roller coaster designed to simulate a grueling three year relationship with Deborah.

Developed by world-renowned and recently single engineer Phillip Werner, the Life Force Crusher-X is said to feature six disorienting vertical loops, 150-feet of highly unstable barrel rolls, a portion in the middle where the ride just suddenly stops for no reason and refuses to start again until riders apologize, and an unexpected 310-foot drop at the very end.

The article doesn't list a manufacturer, but this sounds like a Togo creation to me.

Source:America's Finest News Source

 

[gavin]

Ok, so you're either trying to be funny, or you're a complete tool.

You do know that The Onion is a spoof news site right? The article is funny though, admittedly.

 

[ciallkennett]

LMFAO xD Oh dear...The Onion <3

 

[Martyn B]

Honestly, did you not think something was a bit iffy when reading this:

"a 395-foot-tall steel roller coaster designed to simulate a grueling three year relationship with Deborah."

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

LOL, I enjoyed the article, even though it's not real.

 

[madhjsp]

Calm down guys, I'm a longtime Onion reader and am well aware of the fakeness of the article. I just thought you all might get a kick out of it.

 

[furie]

Who did Taylor ask if it was real or not? Sasquatch?

 

[Gangster4Life]

Sounds like my ex-Girlfriend :lol:

 

[CMonster]

Wait, the Onion doesn't print real news?

Well, that explains the bad grade I got in my current events class...































:wink: